well the past 24 hours has been one of the most hectic days ever, its now nearly 2pm on saturday morning nov 15, just arrived back from the stamford hotel and sort of unwinding and trying to recover from the exhausting yet exhilirating past few events. anyways lets start from yesterday morning, waking up early at around 730.

had to quickly learn to scan some photos because we needed 100+ photos scanned for the nyssas 18th party tonight. that took a while, abt 2-3 hours of repetitive scanning, we ended up not using my hard work scanning :( but its ok atleast i got some old photos from like 10+ years ago on the computer now to use

(to be continued)

well lets start with waking up at like 730 and getting a nice sms from tita rose abt me n nys's bdays and the big party tmr (eep gottta speech and perform *gulps*). Ended up leaving the house around 825. train came quickly and it was express, for an exam day it was starting off nicely. so i was just in my corner just chilling to music, then all of a sudden my phone vibrates at around 845? im like who could this be, its too early for the guys to ring, and i check thinking its an sms but it wasnt a call or an sms, it was something new... so im staring at this "special message" alert from a special someone that says "jess's place"  and i just smile =D i dont know how long i just looked at it smiling and laughing on the inside.

she mustve been playing around with my phone the other day and put it in without me knowing. got to uni just before 930 rang up jess, and she was still at central so got the paper and looked for a room and decided on the same room as yesterday, 223, sms'd her the place then unpacked and did some of the anagrams for fun while i waited.

it was nearing 10 ish and jess or sherman still hadn't arrived (or so i thought) got a call from sherman saying to change rooms, so packed up and went to 211, which was down the hall closer to the male toilets. arrived there and walked in, no one was there but i saw stuff spread out, more stuff than one person would hold, for a few seconds i was just confused and blank thinking where is sherman and this looks like jess's stuff, but where are they? then my eyes met the middle of the table, and i just smiled again, thinking awww, felt warm n fuzzy inside =)

on the middle of the table were two cakes one mudcake the other halfwhitehalfchoc and inbetween them at the front was a card, a bday card =) i noticed jess's cute writing and went even more warm n fuzzy inside, i cant believe i didnt expect it at all, totally surprised.

i picked up the envelope and read the front, couldnt help from smiling and laughing:

To: Alvein the person who loves

     neopets cos Jess plays it

     and always complains

     about how gay it is, but

     ends up creating his own

     account, wat a noob =)P

was the cutest, sweetest thing i read all day.

so i opened the envelope and looked inside to see a card with lots of alcohol displayed on the front, i just lol'd. one of the drinks even had "this is the baileys u want" with an arrow pointing to it and a "Milkias was here =)" haha.

opened the inside and there were two long messages, gosh i feel so bad now for not writing more on shermans  :(

anyways this was the one on the left, in hot pink lol, im guessing it was shermans.

HiHi Alvien !,

Jess is sitting next to me at this moment

laughing her head off. (esp this Bailey's

advertisement we just passed =). Anyhoo...

thought we would surprise you for a belated

birthday/pre-end of exams celebrations. So,

yeah... here goes

" Happy Bday to you ...

  Happy Bday to you ...

  Happy Bday to [INSERT NAME HERE]!

  Happy Bday to you!!! "

  -> SELECT Happy Bday Alvien

      FROM Sherman is the best!

      WHERE Jess is funny & pro !

      ORDERED BY Milkias;

                                     <-- remember the semicolons

                                                      today!!

PS: I am writing this on a bus, plz excuse my writing

PPS: a girl wrote this =)

hehe yeah so that was shermans on the left hand side, then covering the right was Jess's in nice purply blue.

Hey Alvien, =) (I can spell you know)

We all know what an alcoholic

you are, so drink up, (and

I'll video you >.<) haha,

anywayz hope my message

will be better than sherman's

and yea thx 4 the good

times, stay in uni, and

don't be sick =)P

(then the card greeting in the middle of the page)

Hope this will be unforgettable,

cos we all know you love

VB, and love to make a

scene at the club, go treat

urself with a "stine" of 

beer ^(in the land) where we all speak

"Germany" and, I love 

water, and sherman is

orange, and milky drinks

milk. GG yes re, now kick ass

in the exam, you 20 year old

man. (peace sign with two fingers) peace, from Jesd.pro

those two messages were so gooood, totally better than anything i could write, while i was still contemplating what was happening sherman and jess came in smiling and laughing. I just froze again and said thanks heaps, coz i was still in surprise from what was happening. After a bit i realised there was also a red rose on the table, i just picked it up and smelled it. The rose as a present was really nice but was so awkward for me esp because jess was the one who chose it, my mind was playing tricks on me again making me think that she might like me, but jess was just being a the nice friend she is and it probly didnt mean anything more than that, but still, a rose from the person u like more than a friend...i just wanted to ask her more and tell her, but i also dont wanna lose our friendship, was there something more in it? i'll never know.

so we all just relaxed and settled down, thinking how we going to eat this delicious cakes without plates or forks or anything haha, jess brought a knife but i think sherman forgot to bring the other stuff, i didnt mind, i was still thankful for what they did. so we just looked at the cakes and i was still wondering abt the rose, twirling it in my hands.

i offered to give it to her but she said that i shld keep it coz its my bday present, i felt a lil awkward carrying it around, but because she got it for me, i went on carrying it. abit later adrian came with two other guys, xu heng and sam. so there was like 6 of us now in one room, sherman was a lil pee'd off because he just wanted a small grp and i dont think he wanted to come to uni in the first place but came anyways for the bday thingy i think.

so they were in the room for a few mins before they decided to sit outside around the corner to free up space, so jess could still go between the two grps, but then they came back and thats when sherman said he was going to just study alone. I felt sort of bad because i didnt want sherman to just go off alone by himself, but i also didnt want to leave jess behind, she was a bit upset too coz she couldnt leave her friend. i couldnt decide, but i ended up accompanying sherman, because jess would atleast still have some people, even though it was better just the 3 of us =/

so i packed up again to move rooms back to the old one in 223, set up on one table sherman on the other and we got some decent studying done. kept thinking abt jess and how she mightve been upset, wanted to go back and just be with her but then i thought it might look too awkward infront of the other guys, so kept in the room. halfway around 11-1130ish sherman went off to get lunch in the quad, he asked if i wanted anything but i was fine, had my lunch prepared as usual =) then he asked if i wanted a fork, which was a good idea coz then we could eat the cakes, told him to get 3 for jess as well.

ate some of my lunch while he was gone, and listend to music while trying to study. when he came back he had a burger and brought back 3 forks. continued studying, going thru all the stuff we thought might be in the exam. everytime we kept finding something new we werent sure of we got even more worried haha, but then we found the answer and de-worried (lol i dont think thats a word), lol just realised the word is unworry, anywayss.

so sherman started to study lying down across 3 chairs, i was gonna follow suit but then jess came in, told her to try some cake and she had a few bites. apparently the other guys had already left or sumthn for the racecourse.

she wanted to get lunch and i was just relaxing now because there was like 20-30 mins left before we would leave at 1 to walk to the exam. so i came along to the quad while she got some lunch, she was also picking up some lunch for a friend that does arts who was with her now in the room, didnt get to see this new guy. 

anyways while we were walking, she asked if sherman was angry, i told her how he was a lil annoyed and explained why, felt bad talking abt friends but also didnt want to lie to her, so i just said it as nicely as i could, its funny because sherman was doing the same thing sorta complaining abt jess and her face expression when he was leaving, i tried to just keep the peace and explained that she wouldnt be like that, we were all in an odd position =/ i mean i myself didnt know how to react to keep everyone happy :(

anyways when we got back she went off to her friend to give him his lunch, i went back to the room and we packed up gettin ready to walk, it was already 1. sherman went toilet first while i minded bags then i went after while he minded bags. i think i took longer than normal just making myself neat and "freshenin" up a bit to get ready for exams.

came out and we were all ready to go, jess and i took elevator coz i like the elevator, less boring than stairs. me n jess just walked behind sherman for hte most of the time on the way to randwick, talking random stuff and just laughing, she wanted me to carry the rose all teh way, so i did.

when we got to randwick she needed to go toilet so we went to put our bags down, saw pf, hehe he looked ready for exams, or atleast just happy to get it out of the way, sherman was ready to go in so he went in already and so did pf. saw monica from highschool and just said hi, didnt know she did infs, but she said she didnt, later i realised that theres more than one course being examed in the pavillions lol silly me. i just waited for jess, she took her camera and asked me to hold it for her, then we went in. there were like 3 or 4 other courses being taught, aviation, vision science and cant rem the rest. we found our one and got our seat cards. i got C17, she got C21, sherman was like C4 or 5 so we saw him at the front hehe.

milkias came just on time during reading i think or just before it, he was abt 2 seats infront of me to the left. then the test, it was alrite, good at some parts, not so good at the end. the first part sql threw me off but eventually got it, the next part oo modelling was ok, i think i did it alrite, then it was definitions, aced that cept one part which i sort of guessed, question 4 was an er diagram i think with cardinalties etc, it was ok, my diagram was so messy coz i squashed it into half a page >.< altho im pretty sure i got it right, atleast most of it. last one i had so little time to do it and it was haard. was normalization, my worst, and then er diagram then sql. didnt get to do the last two parts which was worth like 5 marks, but even then my normalization was bleh and my er diagram was sort of rushed. ran out of time for last two, i think i said that, hmm yes i did.

the jason guy was sitting a few seats infront of me to the right, after him n jess talked briefly heh abt jess leaving her jacket behind lol, funny. talked with milky abt some of the exam as we walked out, he said he ran out of time too. sherman said he managed to finish and check some of it, so smart. jess ran out of time as well.

went to bags and jess wanted to take a grp photo coz mgiht be the last time we see each other, esp for milkias coz his not continuing with infs subjects i think. she wanted to just do us 3 but i said why not have u in the photo, so i asked a random guy who was leaving already haha. he said he was ok with taking it so we had a quick shot haha.

then we walked back to uni, we were just talking abt her jason friend and how she didnt get to see him, i just told her she will, if thats what makes her happy. the walk back to uni just went over exam with sherman and we just laughed at all the hard weird parts we couldnt get and jobs for holidays etc. jess n milkias were infront of us just chattin.

when we got near uni i was thinking abt getting a drink at the bar haha, coz the weather was getting hot, but was just joking abt it with sherman that we shld drink. when we got near buses said goodbyes to jess sherman and milky, milky thot i still had more uni work to do, jess sorta knew i had a speech to make but didnt know i was staying back. i already told sherman my plans to stay back and probly go home later when it got cooler, well its 830 now haha and dark, so i shld be getting home soon, not like i got much speech writing done >.< anyways i accidentally made them miss the lights, oops haha so we just stood around smore till the next one, sorta made plans to go james bond star city and dinner some time in the holz, jess didnt want me to stay at uni but i had to.

said our goodbyes and they all went to their bus. put on my music and went to get a drink at quad, then went lab 6 and tried to do some speech writing, got none done :( ended up youtubing and eating some leftover cake lol =/ still dont know what im going to do for speech tmr >.< im so screwedddd.

not many ppl at uni now, altho funny when i logged on to msn, with "alv is at uni" jason replied coz he was at uni too lol, funny that. his staying till 9, i could probly meet him, but nah i gotta go  home now, gettin late and i didnt know i was sposed to get home to help get stuff from black town >.< like at 830, bah anyways that was today, a nice long pleasant november 13th, and early bday celebration with jess n sherman (and milky in spirit)=)

thanks heaps again guys =)

songofthemoment

keyshia cole - fallin out

well today was another good day, the weather was perfect, just the right temperature, a lil bit warm, but the sun was out and shining nicely...

i was meant to leave home by 8, but i ended up oversleeping the alarm at 7 by like 40 minutes, so i ended up rushing out the door like 25 past 8, eep. sent her an sms saying i might be running a bit late, just so i could give her notice.

ended up using the sms she gave me yesterday asking to "survive for ten minutes XD" instead changing the details around to suit me haha "survive for fifteen minutes XD" lol. halfway thru smsing she called but i was still typing and accidentally cancelled the call! i was like omg, crap haha.

so i called her back quickly, after i sent the sms. i was at redfern so it was only 5-10 more mins to townhall, she said to meet up in the middle of townhall, since i am such a lostie there. ended up getting there like 910? so i wasnt "that" late. went up the steps and immeadiately saw her, heart skipped a few beats i think hah, as always, but then i took a deep breath and went on, dw this was all in the space of a heartbeat, so i dont think she saw.

townhall underground is soo, cool? cant believe i dont get here often, she says she comes here alot, i wouldnt mind coming here too, not a bad place. arrived at michelles pastisserie (sp?) and looked at all the nice lil cakes, at first we were gonna get a small square one, but then decided to get a log coz there might be a couple of us. then deciding on the flavour, at first we thought mud cake, but i thought it was a bit too common, so i suggested white chocolate, thankfully she decided on caramel, because we found out later that was shermans favourite and my choice was his worst haha, what luck. bought an edible happy bday sign as well, chocolate ofcourse, and split the cost, i think it was like $20.90 all in all, the edible sign was like 2 bucks.

oh the townhall ticket barriers were broken, lucky again, so we managed to go back in and catch train to central for free =)

when we got to central, we got ambushed, sorta. we were just casually walking to the buses when in the distance we saw someone waving at us, a tall someone, omg it was sherman! we glimpsed and panickd so we quickly hid the cake under her jacket. when we got closer we saw he was with his gf and a friend, julian or julien, i dunno how to spell it, a close friend of his he met on a 6 hr bus trip to snowies, he just finished hsc so he had all this free time to bludge.

anyways, so me n jess were just like trying to hide the cake inconspicuously (sp?), we walked ahead of em to try avoid them seeing it up close, coz i dont think the jacket was covering most of it, or atleast the back, so i held it close to cover it.

caught the 895, couldnt get my wallet coz i had hands full with the cake and jacket and covering etc, so jess got my wallet for me and did my ticket on the bus etc. we sat opposite em in the 4 seaterto avoid any questions abt the odd looking shaped jacket lol, i thought that our cover would be blown.

anyways arriving at uni finally we got a room on level 2 of asb, i think it was level 2, maybe level 1 if ground is ground, i dunno asb very well still. they all went for break fast while michelle stayed back to mind the room, me n jess wanted to go consult, coz it was on 9-11 and it was already like nearing 10. we took the cake and went straight to quad level 2 for questions with scary lady lecturer in charge, aybuke aurum.

on our way to consult jess stopped to drool over the dude shes into, this guy called jason saunders or sumthn, his some halfie white.malaysian dude, anyways i couldnt do much but just look the other way. finally got to consult and we got to ask alot of questions and suss out so many things. the lecturer was really nice today, maybe she was in a good mood or sumth, anyways i couldnt complain, i managed to get alot of things out of the way. she was telling us abt scholarships for coop that were still available, if our marks were good in this we might be eligible or sumthn for it. tho still i dont know if i would want to spend another year to work, the experience would be good but then its extending my already delayed degree.

anyways we finished and went back to the room, this is where we decided to do the cake, we set up on a table near the room, and we kept joking abt how if i was gonna light the match that it would be a shower in here haha, so we decided to light outside the room, then we surprised him with a happy bday and nice cake =)

he was totally surprised, apparently they didnt suspect anything with the jacket, haha. so i got out the plates and cutlery and we had some nice cake. while sherman was cutting the cake, jess or i said outloud "u gotta kiss the nearest girl shermannn"  and michelle just bolted straigth out of the corner haha, i was thinking "arent u guys bf gf" but maybe their still not ready for that yet, or shes just shy, either way it was funny.

jess took a few shots with her camera then we all had some nice caramelll cake, was soo good, nice breakfast for the long day ahead, full of sugar yay.

then i think we all ate quietly for a bit, after that nice cake we were all satsified and half sleepy, michelle agrees with me that after a meal u get sleepy, which is so true, coz u feel so relaxed.

then we did some infs study. later went to look for toilet, the females was like 2 metres from our room but hte males was like 100m. eventually found it. then later around noon ish michelle left to go for her exam at randwick, we made sherman go accompany her all the way, coz he shld lol.

the julian guy was on his laptop the whole day just youtubing or wateva, while me n jess got down to some serious study. that went on for a bit, i immersed myself in music and did some real study, they went for lunch later while i minded the room. 

jess got a hamburger and sherman got some pasta, so jess combined somepasta into her hamburger, was already a huge hamburger i was like woah, big appetite. i wasnt that hungry so i settled for some cookies later.

then we all went back to studying, milkias came after his exam was over, and we were offering him cake and to write in shermans bday card, but we found out that its against his religion, jehovas witness, i didnt know that, so i felt a bit bad that i sort of asked him something that he is not allowed or sposed to do, me n jess felt a bit sad for him later that he cant celebrate bdays, their so fun and happy and important?

anyways back to serious study, the clock was ticking, it was gonna be 4 soon, amir's consult. managed to get alot done and a couple of questions ready for consultation. julian was doing some magic tricks to the others, i was just still studying trying to get the question out of the way.

oh yeh, showed jess and julian the japanese dance routine, coz its so mad, they thought it was alrite, he liked the dancing but not the music, his into acoustic rock and doesnt really like hip hop. i think jess thot it was ok, but she only got to see half of it before she went off to do something.

then julian left for bball in alua? i have no idea where that is lol, he left his laptop behind so we could bludge on it. sherman came back and we just did smore studying. i was still on my mp3 just chillin and studying to ne-yo.

then later milkias had to leave, coz he had only 2 hours sleep and wanted to get some rest.

so was just me sherman and jess left.

i finally got all that i needed to do done and so just listend to music while watching sherman and jess talk, not knowing what they were saying haha coz i was listening to my music.

jess was on the laptop, neopetting and i was just across them listening to music.

then sherman said it something along the lines of

"oh are u going out with alvien or something haha"

"oh its like that"

i dunno something like that, i just looked at her and she looked back, i didnt know how to react, i was caught totally offguard, i just wanted to smile and look at her but at the same time i didnt want to give myself away because she looked like she was embarassed or just weirded out :S i dont know, i couldnt tell much from her expression, it looked like it was half true and at the same time not? i promised myself to not let my feelings ruin our friendship, so i tried my hardest to look passive to the comment, even though i felt otherwise.

so that was the height of the day, after we just bludged on neopets, playing kass basher till consult time.

we left at 4 for consult. on the elevator she stayed at ground level coz it was going down, i was like lol wth when i went down alone and these two old guys went in on lowerground, then back at ground she came back on. amir already had a grp with him, so we sat next to them on the sofas, just organising ourselves for questions, got a few tricky ones out of the way, wasnt as good as consult in the mornin but still helpful. we mainly just talked abt the freeze event and all the poses we could do, and the sweet poses that a guy and a girl could do, she told me that i shld ask a girl i like to come and do the sweet couple pose with her, ironic isnt it? for half a second i thought abt asking her or telling her that "maybe then i shld ask you" but i just nodded in silence.

we talked a bit more abt random things as we usually do, randomly laughing.

then after we got all our questions answered, we went back to the room. again she stopped to check out the jason guy. i mentioned that we spoke briefly in one lecture where we were all sitting on the same row. she went all interested in the subject but i just told her we just had small talk, which is what really happened, just talked abt the subject and the lecture and just a bit abt jess.

when we got back, michelle was back from her exam, and jess was abt to open the door but then we just watched them being a cute couple and just talkd random stuff like what if we disturb a "moment" between the two, haha. i dunno, just talking random stuff and laughing. we prob looked like randoms each taking turns to peek thru the lil peephole in the door. eventually we went in and said hi.

we rested for a tiny bit then packed up to go. we raced them to ground, they went stairs, we went elevator, we lost :( prob coz my stupid bag hit the alarm button which went on for half a second, felt like an idiot.

so we just walked behind them, talking abt stuff. we ended up catching a 393 or 395 coz the 895 just left, sherman and michelle were going townhall so they went on another bus. we got a seat at the back, then another couple came and sat at the back also.

we just talked abt stuff, the holidays, the freeze thing, the bond movie coming out soon, star city, and (using her phone sms to type to me to be inconspicuos) if the chick next to me was pretty, i gave her my honest opinion which is that shes ok, because she is really the only pretty person in the world right now to me. no one compares, not even the slightest. i dont even give girls i thought were pretty before i met her a second glance.

then the conversation got interesting, she mentioned how sherman being sherman, asked if she and dean were dating, because he always runs off with her and comes into uni even if he doesnt have anything on, she said that their not, and their just friends, which took a huge load of my mind. i feel sort of sorry for dean, because im pretty sure his in the same position as me, but were just friends to her, nothing more.

the bus ride was pretty long because it wasnt an express, so for the next half we were both quiet and just daydreaming/thinking/mp3ing.

she wanted to press the button a few times so we got off around the corner instead of at the first central stop, i thot it was cute, we both tried to press the last stop but she beat me to it haha covering the entire button :( no fair lol.

she missed her train and she was on the phone with her mum, probly coz she wants her to be home soon. so i was lucky and got to ride with her to strathfield. we stood for a few stops then got a 2 seater i think at redfern. we tried to do the anagram on the mx, but only got to the first word, exact. cant rem what we talked abt then. then it was my stop, got off strathfield coz it was going north and not to lidcombe, said goodbye and caught my train which was just arriving, wanted to turn back and look at her coz the platforms were just opposite, but i thought it might be a bit too obvious so i just faced the other way to my train, she probly didnt even notice me on the other platform, even if her seat was facing me =/ i dunno. sometimes i feel like were getting close, closer than friends, but then reality hits and i remember shes not after me shes after some other guy.

the train was packed but thankfully it was a short ride, the chick next to me kept looking at my jumper =/ probly thinking how can i be wearing this in this weather haha. anywyas finally got to lidcombe and walked home.

the sun was still up and shining nicely =)

songofthemoment

ne-yo - because of you

i know i already made a journal today but i just wanted to do a quick one because the "stress" i felt today has sort of dissipated, atleast for now.

seeing old friends and just generally being in her company has made my day a bit better, but to finish it up always is my music. music is such a big part of me in my life right now, i live it everyday, wherever i go i normally have my mp3 if not im listening to it at home on my comp, life just flows by with music.

ever since getting the music from wong fu's "at musing's end" short film, ive been in bliss. every step is lighter, every ray of sun is brighter, every second of night is quieter =)

it really is soothing to listen to, a bit of change from the chilled rnb and acoustic rock. ill always be at the root an ambient music addict, just love that feeling, that aura of calm, it can really de-stress and unwind you when your not at your best. i think i needed it alot lately, i might even need smore again tmr, yep u guessed it, i see her again, another "study" session. anyways gnite, i think ill call it in early tonight, nearing 1030.

songofthemoment

moby - blue paper

(also from "at musing's end" XD)

i recommend it for anyone who has not seen it yet
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=tgx8wpr6-eY&fmt=18
seriously good stuff, whether for the music, the shots or the plot.

so right now, im sitting at uni in a quad lab, with so many things rushing through my head, so many mixed feelings and i dont know what or how i am meant to act on them.

she just went out so i gotta make this quick before she gets back, if she ever saw me doing this id probably die on the spot of embarassment, i dont even know why im taking the risk and writing this no, maybe deep inside i sort of want her to see? but i know that would just make things awkward, and the last thing i want to do is lose her as a friend, but i still dont know what to do.

i feel really embarassed typing about this even on a random website journal, but atleast its my one way of expressing all these feelings. shes the nicest person i know, shes got the prettiest smile that just lights up your day. And the worst part, is i cant do anything, my hands are tied, shes on my phone now, talking to the other guy, the one i think she is into, u have no idea how bad this feels, i thought i would be able to take it, but i think im falling apart inside now.

just when i thought there was still hope, it looks like there isnt any left, unless somehow she is playing me but thats just stupid thinking.

anyways what did i today? oh we went to check out a few asian cake shops for tmr, still unsure what were gonna get, might change last minute and get one from michelles pastisserie (sp?)at townhall.

so far we've pretty much just bludged a bit and did some work, showed her the youtube vid "at musing's end" i thought it was real nice, she said it was ok, but didnt like videos that remind her of reality, or sumthn. i dont know what she thinks of me now, probly just as a random study guy, gotta move on, or atleast try, again.

songofthemoment

jesse chui & henry tsai - at musing's end main theme

i just finished watching a movie and went up to go to bed, when i saw my phone and it said:

"1 missed call"

so ofcourse i checked who it was

"no number"

and it was only 15 mins ago.

its already nearly 1am now as i type this.

its funny because i already climbed into bed but i had to get back up to write about this.

who was it from? why at this hour? and most important why was it private, a "no number".

considering my situation i have so many things running through my mind right now, was it her? i know im just wishful thinking right now completely, it most likely was just a wrong number. I mean i cant just ring her up and ask her "did you just call me right now?" thats totally out of the question, but even then, i cant imagine who would ring me at this hour and as private. its gotta be a wrong number or a 'freak' accident.

just when i was already trying to get over her coz i know shes out of my league and she looks happier with the other guy, i dont have a chance. funny thing was that i was maybe gonna just tell her on the tuesday so i could get it off my chest. but i dont know anymore, i never do =/

one thing is for sure, i hope the best for her, nothing less =)

getting sleepy so ill keep it short and sweet (or atleast try, i realise whenever i try to it ends up being 10 page stories haha).

since friday ive just gone gym and walked round the neighbourhood, youtubed a bit, tried to study abit, ok maybe i lied abt the last part haha, i promise to do some tmr, well by the look of the time, today.

sunday was a busier day, had a good sleep, well rested for the day ahead, henry n chris were the first to arrive early, then joseph then the girls arrived all at once. so then we got to salsa practice first, at first we all were relearning our steps haha then we got into it and did a few nice full practices. in the end we did pretty well i think, even figured out how to introduce ourselves and the ending bow to the audience etc.

then cha cha practice, so much easier, less change of partners and simple yet nice moves. pretty much was a pickup session for the ones who were a bit rusty, did a few full practice runs, all went well. we might be ready for friday after all, all i gotta get ontop of now is the exam and the speech, ah the speech is gonna kill me, its hard enough talking infront of 100 people, people you know, let alone make it good and funny at the same time, but ill think of something. i reckon the speech is more nerve racking then the actual performance, atleast the performace will be with the others heh.

Then, yes the days not over yet, around close to 5, we left for the groove urban dance finals at burwood rsl, henry dropped us off and we got there around 5 just intime to watch haily and dong perform, was such a good routin, they looked awesome in the white and dark suits.

then a few other group dance crews, there were 3 really good ones, one all wore blue track suits they hit pretty hard and had a decent choreo. the other was a friend of my cousins and they did a nice job mixing some breaking moves with style, looks like they ahd more fun than a performance, which is better imo. the final performance was the third, it was so loud i couldnt hear if they were called deja or basia, anyways it was an all girls crew, atfirst they looked weird in their costumes, but man they were the BEST, nice mix of hotness and styyyyl, not too overtop with the hotness like some other groups, mostly very hard hits and best sync, music was decent too which matched the move. decided to leave in the break around 7 coz we didnt wanna end up just listening to the prizes and judges etc. trained it back home, had some dinner watched half of mamma mia then another full movie, was pretty good i reckon.

wow its already the end of the week, doesnt feel like it. nothing much to write about during the week i guess, just study, gym, study, youtube, youtube, youtube. sister just finished her hsc yesterday, so shes gonna be able to chillax now, thats good she deserves a good rest after all the hard work she has put in, all the best sis.

i guess today would be worth journaling about, had "study" session at uni, so i woke up extra early to go gym before i went uni, gotta keep fit someway heh. started around 730 finished 930, so a good 2 hours, which was all i really needed today. then went home changed bags, charged mp3, it ran out of battery during gym (which is a shame cause the music keeps me going) so had to charge it at home for atleast 30-45 mins before leaving..shaved quickly and ran out the door around 11.

got an allstops, which was alrite coz i wasnt in much of a rush, she said she was gonna be there at 1pm (but she ended up coming earlier, if i knew i wouldve been earlier, but anyways). finally got to uni around 12, today we were studying in the asb bldg, apparently i got a missed call from her when i was on the bus, didnt realise it was vibrating and its on silent anyways coz the mp3 blocks out all sound hah, so i rang her when i got outside asb, as always i smiled when i heard her voice. 

the asb bldg is sooooo cooooool, never been in there, but its got awesome tiny study rooms with whiteboard and table and everything. they had a room on level 1 near the back, got there and sherman was already there, as well as dean, her friend, even though he doesnt do infs, i knew why he was there, sort of why i was there =/ ah well the whole day was first spent studying with sherman pretty much while she ran off with dean, then the other half bludging on youtube in quad labs, while she was half the time gone with him again. i think its pretty obvious whats happening, or maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

im just the friend to her i spose, which i guess i will have to live with for now, i dont wanna tell her how i really feel and make things awkard by weirding her out, but i was watching this video on youtube called 'just a nice guy' by wong fu productions, and it was pretty interesting. i think im in that position right now, either to risk it before she gets too deep with the other guy, or just be the nice guy/friend and wait, do nice guys really finish last? if so ill be waiting.

we had a few moments during the day, showed her a few things on youtube and as always did the anagram and looked at the comics in the daily, always the little things that light up my day. i dont know what to believe anymore, it looks as if she is into this other guy, but then at times when our hands touch or she just leans on my shoulder it feels like maybe she feels the same way? i dont know, trying not to think abt it too much or else it'll be harder when the truth really hits me.

for now, ill just enjoy chilling with her.

songofthemoment

ne-yo - can we chill

sigh i lost all that i typed, they shld implement some sort of autosave draft feature, >.< im not gonna type that all again, so gay now im just gonna make a super concise one just so i have something to remember.

sunday was posadas reunion at bicentennial for tito mario, tourist staying over just for the weekend.

woke up 7am to get to park early, found out later that getting up early does matter, thot it was a bit too much of a precaution.

8hours of park, 3/4 of it spent badminton, kids did some eel/turtle/fish feeding by the lake. adults and kids ended up playing game from the phils called 'hip hip hooray' to ofunny to watch. awesome weather, lots of people at the park which was unexpected.

then olympic park tour for tito mario to take some shots, then pass by home, picked up some jackets for city, woolworths souvenir shopping and recess/lunch shopping fo cousins, then nice warm meal at kings cross harry's cafe de wheels, if you havent been there yet u have not lived, so damn gewd.

yeh thats abt it

today just went gym, walked around the neighbourhood, vnice windy breeze. bit of study in the mornin. thats abt it.

new songmeanings layout is ok, but still liked hte old one, and i gotta repeat, they need some sort of autosave feature like gmail has, it would save so many hassles, and mishaps.

toodles and gnite

songofthemoment

ne-yo - stay