my grad ceremony was today, even though school has a solid two weeks and then diplomas.the ceremony wasnt bad though. I got lots of nice pictures with my friends and whatnot, and lots of people cheered for me. I feel bad for the people who walked the stage in dead silence.. ouch.

school it stressing me out to bad. It's almost over though. The stress is getting worse. I still have some anti-depressants kicking around. Maybe I will eat them. Doubt it will do much though

I fucking hate this, and in reality I cant do anything about it. Arguabley I could, but we all know thats a filthy lie. The system is so manipulative. Really I want to be living my life doing things I enjoy as opposed to writting tests and diplomas, and studying information that will never benefit me. I was invited on a three day white water rafting trip with my best friend, and I cant go because I would miss 12 hours of my 34 hour fucking pure 30 diploma prep course. How is it that I'm wasting my life on something I hate, rather than having fun and getting everything I can out of life. If I dont take the course, chances of me failing are high, meaning I will have my acception to post secondary revoked, and I will be wasting my time upgrading. Fuck this system.

Going to public school was such a mistake. I don't regret it, but it was a horrible mistake. If I hadn't I would be an entirely different person. Most likely a person I like better. I can still become someone I want to be. Some life changes are in order. Getting rid of my friends, except two girls and three guys, is step one.

Every wonder who controls your lives? Well it's not the government, its not your family, and its not your friends. Its corporations. Ever wonder why only people in North America drink milk? Because its good for you right.

My gosh I'm just out of control sometimes. This long weekend I kissed three different guys.. Two of them honestly meant nothing, it was all in good fun and what not. It was the middle of the night and me and these two guys were sitting in the pouring rain in a car. The cars battery was dead and we had some time to kill, and we thought it would be amusing to play truth or dare. So elementary, it was hilarious. Anyways thats how I ended up kissing two of the guys. The first guy was more serious.. Things went pretty far, but I dont really know what to make of it. He lives in a different province, and we have been friends since I was 13. gosh I need to take it down a notch on the guys. But there is this guy and my work that I want to get to know better for sure.. He's 21 and I see a definate possibility there.. mmmmm

I feel like im going to vom! heinous. I'm not sure if I'm regretting last night or not. Really there is no point in having regrets. My mind is all a jumble.

yikes! life sure is creeping up on me.

I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry. Really I should stop letting him make me feel so down.. So pretty much I have a grad date, just not to my own grad..

fuck me fuck me