I had my part B english diploma this morning so last night i thought i would try to get a good sleep.I went to bed around 11, but by 1:30 i was still wide awake. I had to take a sleeping pill just to get to sleep, but the pill didnt work for about an hour. It's not that i wasnt tired, i just couldnt get my mind to relax. My part B social is tomorrow morning, and somehow i cant manage to motivate myself to study. I should do that. I really should. Primus is quite good

The Decemberists are great. I'm so scared of the rest of my life.

I drink too much. Currently I feel blissfuly ignorant. I've comepleted my part A of my social and english diplomas, as well as part A and B of my chem diploma. Those were the most stressful and challenging parts of my diplomas, all I have left is my part B of social and english. Maybe I should be stressed but im not. For some reason I'm very content with my life. I have good friends, I like the people I work with. Tonight I'm visiting my gram. That makes me happy. Shes such a good grandma. I'm so lucky to have three amazing grandparents. I really am. At the same time I will get to see my brother. He is my all time favourite person in the world. It's nice to come in contact with family members that I love after having to live with my parents. Last night I didnt sneak out, but i was home about an hour after my curfew and my parents didn't mention it. So either they didnt notice, or they don't care anymore. I usually sneak out so i dont have to worry about my curfew though. After my Chem part B diploma, this guy that I think about more than I like to admit came to talk to me. I wont go into detail, but when I turned to go to my locker he stopped me. He asked me for a hug and so I hugged him, but he didnt really take his hands off me right away. He let them linger around my waist after I let go of him. Considering our history that was kinda a big deal. Man, I'm lame. p.s Motorcade by Beck is great

Chances are you will get pissed off if you read this. Its just more adolescent bitching. Sometimes its just nice to write shit down. I have a feeling that I will be an alcoholic someday. No word of a lie. I drink at least once a week, and im not even legal yet. I go out drinking even if I work early the next day. Sometimes even on school nights. Every time I drink i get drunk. I have fun though. For the past six weekends (excluding last weekend because I was at the bar) I have been drinking with a guy I went to junior high with. I really like him, and we have had a thing off and on since junior high. He has a girlfriend though, he says he loves her, but cant help being attracted to me. He says that without a doubt he would be going out with me, if he wasnt going out with her. It makes no sense to me. At the beginning of the summer (when they started dating) he cheated on her with me. He even told her about it. Since then we havnt really hooked up, but we hang out alot. I don't think i will get over him entirely ever. But, there is another guy I do like. We have a bit of a long history. Today I was walking outside with my friend we walked past his class and he was looking at me the entire time, but I pretended like I didnt notice and didn't care. It's a long complicated story.