I just have to express my anoyance for a second. I HATE it when guys don't respond, they don't have to respond in an hour or so. But like, within ten hours or so would be cool. Oh well, last time I didn't respond for a whole day, because I lost my phone... So yeah, maybe he's just busy or lost his phone. I'm not freaking out or anything though :). XxX winterwoods

You know, It's like I've entered a new period of my life or something... I mean, there are these teenage girls who have there first boyfriend at 11 or something and are practically married at 18 (er, or not). I've never been interested in boys at that age, and I've never really been looking for guys in that way. But now, there are like... guys. Everywhere. The worst part is that I don't think I like any of them. Maybe I'm just too picky, because they're all very nice guys, really sweet and friendly and very kind to me. And some of them may actually like like me :p. It's weird, dealing with guys, I've noticed that before, but it so very obvious, I really don't know how to act around them. Especially weird is that this stage of my life should've happened at like 14 or something. O well, I guess I'm a late bloomer ;). XxX winterwoods.

There's this guy, and I think he likes me :S. As in, like likes me. And I don't really like him the same way, he's cool and very nice, but... that's it. I don't know him that good yet, but I would like to get to know him, just as friends though. I'm afraid he will think I like him back if I talk to him or anything, so I'm kind of ignoring him right now. Not the best way of dealing with it, I guess ;). Last saturday I got kind of drunk, again. Good move >_

I passed my exams! No more highschool! Never! Ok, I don't know if I really should be glad about that, but for now I don't want to think I just want to be glad. I'm working now fulltime in a shop, it's awful. People keep asking me if I like my job and I'll be all happy and cheerfull and saying that it's a good job, pays well and mention all the pre's of the job. But I don't really like it. I hate it that I'm dead tired at the end of the day and all I can do is lye on the couch and wait for time to go by so I can go to bed. It's too heavy work for me. Running around in the shop, carrying heavy things. I want to work with my brains, not with ... well my 'muscles'. But oh well, I'll just... go to sleep right now, tomorrow's another day of hard work. xxx winterwoods

Haven't used this journal for a while. I have been on the website, but only for the lyrics. That makes sense, seeing that that is the purpose of this site. Well... Tomorrow I'm getting my test results back, so then I'll know wether or not I've passed the exams. I really hope so, I never want to go back to high school and it would be great to end that period of my life once and for all. Not that I'm so keen on getting old, but it beats being an insecure teenager. I worked the last couple of days, I got a job in a small shop where they sell tea and coffeecups and stuff. All sorts of things that have to do with tea or coffee. Mostly old people come there, and families with small children. I have to make sure the articles are all properly displayed and stuff like that, and I do stuff in the storage. When I'm feeling up to it I can help customers at the cash register, but I don't want that (yet). I also have another job interview this friday, to be a receptionist at a office. It feels kind of like cheating, applying for a job even though you already have one. I'm feeling very guilty right now, frankly. It sucks. I'm not enjoying life much right now, to think that - after university - I'll just have to work the rest of my life, then quit and wait for death to come... It's just so... I don't know. I have always known that life was meaningless, it has just never been so obvious as now. But that'll pass one day. So ... yeah, it's just a few months, this job, and then we'll just see what happens. XxX winterwoods