No, the title does not point at the fact that I need help, professional or not. What I mean is that I think I've found help. I went to the bookfestival in Ahoy yesterday, and it was great. Bookfestivals are just heaven for me, I love them, I wish I could spent all my time living there and read books. Well, of course I spent the most time at the section medical & new age, popular science and English Novel and Literature. At the last section they had all this English classics for just 2 euro's. I've bought like 13 of them, Frankenstein, Dracula, three Jane Austen novels, Jane Eyre, Oliver Twist, Little Women (I know, that's American, but it's a great classic!) and many more. I've also bought these self-help books (hence the title of this log), one called 'choose happiness' that one is a bit... naive and too happy and irrational. Happiness cant be a permanent state of being, then you wouldn't be happy, because you need comparising, you need to know what it's like to feel down. It's just that life goes with ups and downs, I know that. The other one's are books to help me get less shy and stressed out. Because that's why I've felt so bad latley, stress and shyness. But I'm going to change, definitly! I really want to :). Well, erm. I'm going to the movies tonight.. not really that important, tomorrow school, till very late. Right now I still have some homework to do, soo... bye! :) XxX winterwoods

I'm so annoyed by myself. If I could I'd shut myself up. Really. But I can't, of course I can't. I'm weak, I can't refuse myself anything, that's why I'm so fat. I'm not here to complain about my weight, though. Not this time. I am, however, here to complain, about me. Naturlich. Er, yeah, how to start. I feel slightly put off with how things are going. They are definitly not going as I wanted them to, as I planned them to. And I ask myself, why not? And really, it's just all my own fault. I'm lazy, too shy and just too... weird. A normal weirdness though - I do realise I'm nothing special of course. I can't quite grasp why I'm so unhappy and it bugs me. Because if I don't know why, how can I fix it? Why do I always feel like crying when I'm alone, why do I never want to go outdoors and do something. Am I just extremely weak-willed and lazy or is it something else? Like why I never want to talk on the phone, that can't be a symptom of my lazyness, right? I hate that I don't know the answers to these questions. Also I hate the fact that I didn't know the answers to the questions asked at my school exams. I'm just a big crybaby. I know. I'm sorry. XxX winterwoods

Well, happy newyear everyone. It's been a while, again. I can't really help that. A new year, yes... I hope 2007 is going to be a great year. I hope I'm going to do better in school and pass my exams... I hope I will find a job after that and save enough money to go to Dublin in 2008. I hope I will feel better and happier, I hope I won't stress out so often (er, too late, I guess) or suddenly get depressed for no apparent reason. I hope that I will eat less this year, and cry less and laugh more. I hope I won't be bothered anymore by people who might think bad of me. I hope people won't think bad of me. I hope that 2007 will go smoothly and relaxed. I'm 17 now and all I ever did was go to school, I'm ready to relax more and after that... I'll make some definite changes in my life. I'm hoping for a lot of things this year. Please let them come true. XxX winterwoods