Damn, that was a good idea. That's ten months of history all in one file. Maybe now I can destroy that file. I'm trying to go old-school again, with a book and a pen and all that. I suppose you could call this my good-bye. I'm not doing the computer thing anymore. I've got to remember to put this on private, because otherwise everyone can find out what I've been up to these past ten months, stalkers and hackers included. Also, I put some pretty personal crap in there. Private is the way to go. When I'm like twenty, I'm going to find this website again and read through all this and marvel at what a stupid sophomore I was. Well, I love my history and it's been really fun and Bob really was right. I'm out of here. Good-bye.

March 14, 2007 I’m doing this now, because I have to be up at Huron in about two and a half hours, so I know that I won’t have time later. It’s our first game and it’s out in the middle of nowhere. Everyone seems pretty confident that we’re going to win. I hope so, because it’s my first game. I think that I might have sorted things out with Amy once and for all. We talked for a long time last night, and I finally hit on the root of the problem. Turns out it wasn’t about me at all. She was just taking it out on me. Apparently, I’m “becoming something” while she stays “a nobody”. Later, I realized what it really was. She doesn’t want me to be good at something and become really well-liked. I told her something to the effect of that I’m trying to pull myself out of being a loser. She’s really convinced that there is not one good quality about her, so I listed thirty good qualities about her. Now, there’s no way that she can say I don’t care about her. That was also a major part of the discussion. Apparently I don’t care. It pissed me off, because I care very much. So, through my frustration, I told her exactly how I felt about the support through my big step outward. We worked it out, though. We usually do. Amy has such bad self-esteem. As I told her, she should really bring it up. With me, it took three years, Cam, one Latin teacher, and a psychologist. Hopefully it won’t be that way for her. Self-worth issues can be kind of hard to deal with, though. I really think her parents have no idea. Mom and Dad had a good idea of how down on myself I was (probably through Michael, who knows). Hence, I went off to the shrink. Looks like this is down to me to pull Amy out, like I did for Anne and for Cam some of the time. Today has been okay. Morning practice was good, because everyone knew that we got to go home afterwards. I was tired today, though, so I couldn’t do everything. It’s good that Chris isn’t the slavedriver his reputation makes him out to be. Maybe he’s just a slavedriver with the guys. He lets you rest if you need to, because he doesn’t want people stroking out in the pool and stuff like that. Well, hopefully I won’t make an ass of myself tonight. Peace. March 15, 2007- The Ides of March I don’t know why I marked that. It’s a huge Latin thing, so I guess it’s legit. Today was actually much less stressful than I had anticipated. Two big things happened today. Number One: Symphony Band auditions. Number Two (insert Dr. Evil voice): The National Latin Exam. I’ll start with Symphony Band. My audition was at 4:51 P.M., meaning that I had to cut water polo to go. Chris was okay with it, though. I told him in the weight room that I’d have to go, and I just wanted to make sure he didn’t think I was lazy or a slacker or something. I lifted with the rest of the team for awhile and then left for my audition (an hour early). I was sore as hell from all the weights, so I wasn’t sorry to be skipping some of practice. The band room was almost empty when I got there. Another girl from the team came later and warmed up. It was me, a French horn player, the girl from water polo, and Laura (remember her?), who now plays tuba. Now, I may highly dislike that girl, but I felt honor-bound to give her some good news that I had heard. I walked over to where Laura was warming up and sat down on the chair next to her. “I have very good news for you,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. I told her exactly what Toner had told me in Latin, which was that both Blogin and Luis are quitting, and he’s more than likely moving up to Symphony Band. Mr. Roberts loves him, plus the only tuba player is graduating. That leaves one spot open for ol’ Laura. “You’re going to be our sole tuba player,” I said, trying to be encouraging. Apparently it made her day, and I walked back to my spot feeling good. Laura may be annoying as hell, but I helped her do a good audition. You always have a good audition if you go in knowing you have nothing to lose. Laura went, and I followed her. For some reason, I wasn’t really that nervous. At least, not until the audition started. I sat out in the hall and looked at my music, sort of praying and hoping, but not being out-of-my-mind nervous like usual. Then Laura finished and I realized I was up. Swallowing hard, I went in. Mr. Roberts was sitting on his chair and he smiled at me. “Hello,” he said pleasantly. I grinned, trying to be confident. “Hi, Mr. Roberts.” “Would you like to sit or stand?” he asked, like usual. I thought carefully. “Um, sit, I think.” I did. I took deep breaths and tried to do what I usually did in Mr. Fox’s class. “Piece or scales first?” he asked. “Piece, please, I think.” He nodded. “I would recommend that, since you have you get through all three movements.” “Yeah,” I said. “It’s hard for us trumpet players.” Can we say bad attempt at humor? He smiled and picked up his headphones. “I’ll introduce you and then you can get started.” “Okay,” I said, trying not to panic. Mr. Roberts started the tape recorder. “This is Claire Beaulieu on trumpet, auditioning for Symphony Band.” I don’t remember the rest. My brain blacked it out. I know I screwed up my scales a bit, but I really don’t remember how I played the piece. I didn’t totally screw up, I know that much. What I do remember is that I got a nice vibrato effect on the second movement, because my arms were shaking so much. The third movement is my worst, but I think I did pretty good. So now, like chair auditions and everything else, it’s the wait. I’m not flipping out because I know I honestly have nothing to lose. If I make it into Symphony Band, then cool. Highest band, oh boy. If I’m not good enough, then I get one more year in Concert with Ashley and Matt, which would also be cool. They’re fun and I like them a lot. If I move up I go up with Caleb and with Blake. Either way suits me fine. Next topic. The infamous National Latin Exam. Forty questions, forty minutes. Paul really had me worried. I talked to him about it in second hour. I caught Hurley and said, “Tell me all about the National Latin Exam.” “Hard,” he said vehemently. I decided to go talk to Paul, since (well, nothing on Hurley) we’re probably at the same level. I don’t think language comes to Hurley as easily as it comes to me. Unfortunately, Paul was on this integrity kick. He wouldn’t tell me a thing about the exam, except that there was a lot more stuff he had to guess at this year. That really got me nervous. Paul was by far the brightest kid in our old Latin class, and if he had guess, the rest of us little people are in some deep shit. I walked into Latin feeling slightly nervous. Mr. Julius got us started quickly, and I filled out the school, student, and teacher information as I remembered Mr. Vogel teaching us. I remember Renton asked if he had to use a real name. Mr. Vogel had blinked and then looked amused. “You may identify yourself as Captain Zero if you want.” We had laughed. Renton may have been the biggest weedhead of all time, but he was good for a few laughs. I rocked that exam. Maxima Cum Laude. Silver medal. I could tell Mr. Vogel was proud as hell of me. He had this look on his face when he handed me my medal. I was always sort of the star freshman, but it was like that solidified it in Mr. Vogel’s mind. It was my finest Latin hour. I finished my information and started the test. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t nearly as hard as Paul made it out to be. There were a couple I had to think carefully about, but then I think I made the right decision. There was one I realized was probably a subjunctive, so I picked the one that Mr. Julius had mentioned awhile ago. I think I did okay, actually. I don’t think Garrett finished and Toner finished a little after I did. He can’t translate. It’s his only weakness. I was kind of worried for him. He knows everything else, but he sucks at correctly translating. Well, I have until late April to think about it, I suppose. That was my day. I’m out of here. March 16, 2007 Today wasn’t bad. At least it’s Friday. For the first time in living memory, I’m glad it’s Friday. Water polo has me all tired out. I realized that I never did get to talk about the game on Wednesday. I skipped it. My bad. I was right, first of all. Grand Blanc is in the middle of nowhere. The bus drove for probably and hour and a half. We got our bathing suits and sweats on Wednesday, too. The jackets are sweet. It’s black with bright green lettering on the left. It says my last name, which is kind of cool. We had to wear the sweats today, since varsity went to East Grand Rapids for some tournament. But anyway. We got off the bus and some girl from the other team showed us where to go to get into the pool. We warmed up and then the game started. My first game. I was actually really nervous. I thought for sure I’d make an ass of myself. The good news is that I didn’t even play until the second half and the team was really bad. By the end of the first half, it was twelve to nothing in our favor. I got put in along with some of the new people once Chris was sure we had it in the bag. It was hard, but fun. The only bad part was that I got pinched. The rest of the team told me that I’d get far worse. Plus, I deserved it. I think that was the same girl that I grabbed by the bathing suit and pulled underwater. It finally ended as sixteen to four. We won. Actually, we kicked their sorry asses. After that, we went back to the locker room and took showers, then got back to the stands to watch varsity. Interestingly enough, they lost by three. I guess Grand Blanc’s varsity team is a lot better than JV. I kind of talked to people and worried about my Symphony Band audition. Taylor Robinson was really good about explaining stuff I didn’t really get. The funny part about that is that Taylor is Spencer’s little sister. I haven’t thought about Spencer in so long, but the irony was most amusing. They really have the family resemblance thing going on. Today was fairly typical. I got up at about five-thirty and went to morning practice. It was nice to wear the sweats around. It was kind of like wearing pajamas to school (which people do). On my way to first hour, I was thinking, “Do I look like an idiot?” After a moment’s thought, it occurred to me that people have probably worn far weirder things to school. Also, I realized I was only thinking that because I don’t want any kind of reputation. For anything. It actually was really stupid, because there’s nothing wrong with being known as the girl who plays water polo. So I pushed past it. I did get a lot of, “You’re on the water polo team?” though. Not like in a horribly surprised way or anything, but just kind of curious. I guess I don’t give off the water polo vibe. Nick started telling me about all of his best attacks in English, since he plays, too. You can tell he loves the sport. According to Amy, he’s a damn fast swimmer, but he has asthma, so he had to stop. Alex put in his two cents every once in awhile. I told them about how it was my first year and all that. “Play hard, young grasshopper,” Alex said, turning his brown eyes on me. I laughed. You know, I really can’t figure out why Michael hates him so much. He’s a perfectly nice guy and he has a great sense of humor. So now I’m here. It’s interesting to have my audition all over with, since I’ve been dreading it since about September. I looked at a calendar in third hour today, and realized I was counting the days until my audition. I have absolutely nothing more to dread for the rest of my sophomore year. Just Michael leaving, I suppose. Well, I’m going to go relax. I’m out.

February 16, 2007 Tomorrow is David’s twentieth birthday. One more and he can buy me beer. Just kidding. Apparently I can’t tolerate alcohol anymore. It’s a damn shame. I guess it means I’ll never be a true Beaulieu. A great thing happened to me today. The student teacher in English, Miss Davis, passed back the vocabulary stories that we wrote awhile ago. Now, it’s probably good to say here that I came out of nowhere with my story and it ended up being the funniest thing I’ve ever written. I thought maybe she would chuckle at it and move on. Anyway, she gave Grace hers back (which was ten pages long) and then she asked if she could keep it for her resume. Joking around, I said, “You mean you don’t want a copy of mine?” Miss Davis looked straight at me. “No. I do. Your story was hilarious.” I was extremely taken aback. She told me about how she had cracked up and said that she had made her boyfriend read it, saying, “Look how funny this is!” She told me that she wanted it for her resume. “For what?” I asked, not quite believing it. “For examples of excellent student work,” Miss Davis answered me. Eh? That didn’t especially compute. I had spent about a half-hour tops on that story. I must be a better writer than I think I am. Well, it was a funny story, that’s for sure. I just didn’t think Miss Davis would love it so much. Great day in English. The story made Karen laugh, since that story was the most random thing I’ve ever come out with. Today was also the band test on “The Saint and the City”. We had to play the annoying redundant fanfare part and then a part later on. I think I actually did good. Both Matt and Toner told me that I was the best of the trumpets, and I think I was. The upper chairs screwed it. “Trumpets, you will be heard again on measures forty-six through fifty-three again on Tuesday,” Mr. Roberts said. Translation: You all suck. Get it together or I’m going to get mad again. It meant a lot coming from Toner that I was the best, since he’s quite good. He said something odd to me, though. “You should have seen the look on Luis’ face when you played it flawlessly,” he said. I was interested. Toner couldn’t really describe the look, which didn’t help me out any. Of course, it could have been because Blake held up a piece of paper that said, “What kind of tree are you?” at him. I was kind of pissed when Roberts said that he was retesting us, because we didn’t do that bad. I think he’s just punishing us for our bad chair auditions some more. Man, Mr. Roberts needs to learn the concept of “letting it go”. The horns were pretty bad and I don’t see him retesting them. Mr. Julius is in a bad mood with us. We’ve all been talking a bit much lately, so he’s getting mad. Our class can be obnoxious, so honestly I don’t blame him. A lot of those people need to be told exactly what to do. Poor Mr. Julius. Today, Toner told us that his mom was Japanese. I didn’t buy it for a second. “If your mom was Japanese, you would not have blue eyes,” I pointed out. Toner has very blue eyes, kind of like mine but slightly lighter. Kind of like Cam’s actually. Garrett does, too. Very German-looking guy. He came over and rested his arms on my shoulders. “Your maternal mother?” he asked. I rolled my eyes. “Maternal mother?” I asked, looking straight up at Garrett. Turns out, it’s true. Toner’s mom is Japanese, but by nationality, not ethnicity. She was born and raised in Japan. Therefore, her son still ended up being blue-eyed. The genetics unit did something to me. I always check out people with genetics now, sort of. I most likely got my blue eyes from Mom’s side of of the family, because hazel eyes run with the McGee line. Probably the German side. However, I remember her telling me that her grandfather, who was Italian, had blue eyes, since they were from northern Italy. Anyway. We sort of translated until the bell rang. Mr. Julius wanted us to parse, but he wasn’t really enforcing it. “How’s the Latin going, Garrett?” he asked later on in the hour. “Pretty good,” Garrett answered, ever the smartass. “I’m almost done,” I chimed in with my best-little-girl voice. “Can you parse it?” asked Mr. Julius, scanning me. “Yeah, actually.” “And I believe that,” he said back warmly. Good thing I have a good reputation in there, otherwise I’d be sunk. And I can parse it. Garrett and I walked together to the 6200 hallway and I went to Health. I spent a rather boring period there learning about minor injuries and how to treat them. I actually got Symington to let me out early to catch the bus that leaves at three-thirty, not four. She concluded after a long interview about my parents that I was a good student, so therefore I could go. Too bad I can’t pull that off every day. It’s nice to get home earlier. Now it’s a three-day weekend. Damn. Monday will be my first day of water polo. Karen advised me not to attempt to drown anyone for awhile. I’ll remember that. I’m not scared anymore, for one really good reason. I got Anne of St. Francis to join with me. She took a class on water polo for quite a few years, so it didn’t take much to get her on board with it. The best part is that we’re going to be on JV together, since they don’t have enough freshies to make a separate team. I’m thrilled. This makes it completely less scary! “And we can invite Cam to watch us kick ass,” she added to me online. We’re meeting Karen in the lobby for her to show us where to go and all that. Seven-thirty on Monday. I have to remember that. Seven-thirty to nine-fifteen. I’m still thinking that Amy is weirded out by this, however. I was asking Karen today what the swim team was like, since a lot of water polo players are on the swim team, too. Amy started going off on a thing about how it’s so hard and I didn’t want to do it. “I just don’t want you to go away,” she said. “I don’t want to lose you to sports.” “Well, you’re going away yourself, aren’t you?” I said (being perfectly tactless myself). But I meant it. It’s probably inevitable that Amy’s moving, and I want to have some friends. According to Alex, she might be moving to St. Louis. That’s far away. I mean, yeah, I’m going to be sad, but I really am going to need a plan. Plus, I really want to do this. I tried on Michael’s letter jacket tonight. It’s really nice, green with a gold collar, “Mike” written on the right breast in gold. His year is on the left sleeve. “Lacrosse” is written on the back in gold cursive. Yeah, but what if it was yours? a little voice inside me whispered. And it said 2009 and “Claire” and “Water Polo”? It was an interesting thought. I want to make it through the preseason stuff first. We’ll see how it works. Another thing about Amy that I shouldn’t care about. She thinks she’s kind of into Chris Jalilivand. I’m not sure why I’m weirded out. She asked if she had a shot, and I had to say no. After all, she said I had no shot with Garrett (she’s got a point- he’s freaking seventeen!), but still. Maybe it’s just because of the Interlochen thing. I think that if Amy knew about that, she would back off, but I’m not going to say a thing. I have to be a good friend and try to get past this. I had to do that when Anne and Cam started going out, but I just think I was having trouble letting go of him to another girl. I think it might also because I know for a fact he’s a friend of Luis’s, and our paths could possibly cross once again if something happens with them. If there’s one thing I would never repeat about my freshman year, that would be number one. Okay, it’s late, and I’m going to go read. February 18, 2007 I spent last night with Anne. Cam was doing the lights for Burns Park Players, so she was planning to go see the show. She asked me to go with her, and I went. It was funny, because both of us detest musicals, but we both went for other people. I went for Anne and Anne went for Cam. However, I felt kind of bad, because the musical was Oliver, and I know for a fact that it’s Amy’s favorite musical. So it’s like I was getting close with my other friends during her favorite musical. Pretty much doing exactly what she keeps accusing me of doing. It was a good night, and Anne got a sort of nickname out of it. She’s Pirate. So now the three of us are Shorty, Banjo, and Pirate. No wonder some people think we’re whacked. “Where do you get these names?” exclaimed Anne when I dubbed her Pirate. From a VH1 show, actually, with all these weird names that celebrities named their kids. My iPod is dead. At least that’s what we think. For some reason, it’s not turning on anymore and it refuses to charge. Well, those things are kind of weird sometimes. Mom said that she’d get me another one if it came down to that. My parents are pretty nice sometimes. Well, this is my last day of being completely sedentary. Water polo is tomorrow. I don’t know why I’m scared! Chances are, it’s going to be fine. I have Anne and Karen. I don’t know who the water polo people are, but they’re probably nice. I mean, it won’t be like Naomi Kesten’s soccer team. They were just a bunch of assholes. Oh. Another thing. I think Bailey might die soon. I cried for awhile last night about that. I’m hoping that she only has this thing with her back that Mom and Dad said she could have, but there’s an equal chance that she has cancer. If she has cancer, Mom and Dad have said all along that they’re going to put her down. I don’t want Bailey to die! She’s supposed to live a really long time. I’m writing this part about an hour after I wrote the last thing. Dad is now the coolest person in the world. He pronounced my iPod dead and then just shrugged and said, “Okay. Let’s go get you a new one.” Just like that, he took me to Circuit City and got me a new one. It’s bright blue, four gigabytes, and it fits into my iPod dock without a problem. Freaking awesome. This is an awesome day. Now, the only thing left to do is to find that Def Leppard song that I wanted from Michael’s library. I have to go over to the Kelleys’ house in about an hour. Mrs. Kelley is hiring me to watch their two dogs over midwinter break. Would you believe she’s going to pay me about $150? I tried to go over there just now, but she was taking a nap or something. Neal Kelley answered the door. Cam and I have a bad track record with Neal. He was a real ass to us in eighth grade for no reason. It’s actually too bad, because I’ve known Neal since I was little. For some reason, this time he was civil. I told him that I had seen him in the play last night and that he did really good. He thanked me and said that his mom would call me. As I was walking away, I was thinking, “You know, Neal’s actually okay.” Maybe he’s grown up or something. Well, a year and a half will do that. So, now I’m probably just going to hang out and wait around. I think I know what I’m going to buy with the $150. Clothes, probably. I don’t have many pairs of pants, so I think I’m going to buy some jeans or something for the trip down to Florida. ‘Bye. February 19, 2007 Awesome news. Bailey’s going to be okay! Mom just took her to the vet and he said she just had a swollen knee. He gave her some medication and now she’s going to be okay. I’m so happy. I mean, Bailey’s only six. That’s half of what their usual lifespan is. Thank you, God. Well, tonight’s my first night of water polo. I’m actually not freaking out. I figure that I have no reason to be freaked out. Whatever happens will happen and I’ll still have Anne and Karen. I am sort of waiting up here for Amy to get on, though, because I need to talk to her. You guessed it. She’s all mad at me again. Also, I was totally right. She is weirded out by me playing. I figured it would be a passing shock, but no such luck. She’s worried that I’m going to slip away through water polo. Her fears are legit. I know how these things go. But then she told me not to ever sit at the “swimming table”. She made me promise. I wouldn’t do it. I knew that if I promised, it would come back and bite me in the ass. If I make new friends, I don’t want to give them the shaft. I don’t want to be popular. That’s not why I’m doing this. I just want more stuff to do. She got really, really mad. And, of course, Dad picked that time to kick me off. I haven’t talked to her since. I feel kind of bad, like I always do, but she pretty much told me I can’t be close with other people. That’s just stupid! People have other friends and that’s kind of a given in life. I told her about a million times that it’s nothing about her. I wonder if Michael ever feels this way? He’s got a lot of friends in a lot of different places. Well, we’ll just see how water polo goes now. Wish me luck. February 20, 2007 I am so sore. Sore as hell. I swear, if every night is like it was last night, I’m literally going to die. To tell you the truth, I had a decent amount of fun last night. The team is really nice, actually. It was a bad night to just be joining up, because we were doing something with the EMU people, so it was some slavedriver guy running the practice. From what I’ve heard, it won’t be that hard-core tomorrow. Well, Amy is extremely mad at me. Extremely. As in she-might-not-speak-to-me-for-weeks mad. Every single time I saw her today, she literally sprinted off in the opposite direction, which caused me to put up my away message. Homo currens fatuum apparet. It means “a running person appears stupid”. Translated by yours truly. I mean, I understand how she feels, but I just want to keep my options open. Next time I meet her online, I have to assure her that I don’t mean to just disappear and leave her behind at all. In fact, I’m planning to hang out with her about ninety-nine percent of the time. More, even. I just want to know that I can run my own life without my friends being controlling. I’m actually not angry at all about this. In fact, I think this is really stupid. Amy’s fighting with me about something that hasn’t even happened yet! I haven’t once gone over to the “swimming table”, and she’s not talking to me. I was sort of talking to Wyatt about it in Geometry. “Amy’s probably not going to be talking to me for a very long time,” I started out. Wyatt looked interested. “Why?” I oversimplified it. “Because I joined the water polo team.” He raised an eyebrow. “Really? Are you good?” I shrugged. “I’m okay. Yesterday was my first day. Amy thinks I’m going to be friends with them and she’s just going to fade into oblivion.” “Yeah,” Wyatt said sarcastically, “And not talking to you is really going to stop that from happening.” I had to laugh. He had a point. Wyatt makes a lot more sense than most people sometimes. The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, except for Fuzz popping up every once in awhile to bring Amy’s side of the story. I hung out with Karen and Anne and we talked about the practice last night. The scary thing is that it doesn’t bug me at all when Amy’s all mad at me, probably because I know she’s mostly trying to get me to feel guilty. Sometimes she reminds me of how I was, with the guilt-trip thing. I know it doesn’t work anymore. Latin was good, as always. I got 96% on my synopsis. Mr. Julius has officially given up on the passage we were translating. We did subjunctives as a review today, partly for the French exchange student guy, who had never learned them. It’s amazing how easy Latin is becoming for me. It’s one of the only things that just makes sense to me. Well, some things make more sense than others, I suppose. Well, I have a ton of homework, so I’m out of here. February 21, 2007 The good news is that Amy finally got over herself today. The bad news is that she’s not fully over it. She’s scared more than anything. I had to tell her over and over and over that I’m not looking to ditch her by any means. It was sort of interesting how it ended, though. Karen and I were talking about how Amy was acting during Western Civ and Karen said that she had heard her talking to Fuzz, and she was saying some really bad stuff. “She’s overreacting,” Karen said, shaking her head. I talked to Grace and Wyatt, and they both were on my side. “It doesn’t mean you’re going to leave her behind,” Grace put in. She would know about these things. Grace has other friends, and she does crew. The world needs more people like Grace. She sort of comes off as antiestablishment, but she’s great. Western Civ is a lot of fun. We finally settled it during the time where we settle all things, during lunch. Karen suggested that we just work it out right then. Then Fuzz came up and saw us, asking, “Are you talking?” “Nope,” Amy said, looking away. I kept my surge of anger down. It was all I could do not to point out that the problem was not with me. I assured Amy for the millionth time that I don’t ditch my friends. “Cam is living proof of that,” I said, fingering my necklace. “A lot of stuff happened with us.” Amy lightened up after awhile. She starting talking wistfully of last year around this time for some reason. “It was just the three of us- well, the four of us, sometimes.” she said. “That was the only problem.” I was about to say something back when Karen said, “So what was that story that you guys were going to tell me about that?” The three of us laughed. We decided to go around and tell points of view, since there were a LOT of sides to what happened near the end of last year. We started from the beginning, with the second semester beginning and the Walrus and Amy fighting. Then we went to me liking the Walrus to the St. Patty’s Day Blowup. It was calm for a month then the note was written. I told the Walrus, then the last day of school happened, then summer rolled around. I heard some interesting stuff that I hadn’t heard before about the things that the Walrus told Fuzz. For example, the “one answer” thing. Apparently in about May, I was so bad at talking to guys that I could only think of one answer, and to my memory that answer was “yeah”. The Walrus asked Fuzz what he should do about it. Fuzz’s advice was to ask me a question that required more than one answer. I laughed so hard. This is hilarious because we were so different back then. Last year changed everyone, I think. On a good note, Fuzz rides the number three downtown with me now. I heard something kind of bad about the Walrus from him on the way down. He didn’t come to science today, and I was wondering why. Douda told Hurley who told Fuzz that he was escorted from Huron today. I’m actually worried. Also, I plan to find out. Douda will tell me, anyway. My guess is that they caught him. I know what he does, and I think the administration caught him. Poor guy. I’m going to get right on that tomorrow. It’s water polo tonight. This will be my first real representation of what the preseason stuff is going to be like. People are telling me that last time didn’t count, because the EMU coach was running the show and he was kind of being a slavedriver about it. Emily in Western Civ told me that it was the hardest practice she had ever been to, so I have hope. This might actually work out. I still can hardly see myself on the team, but with time maybe that will get easier. I hope, anyway. Well, later. I’m out. February 22, 2007 I’m not at sore today, believe it or not. I think last night’s practice took away all my soreness from the one before it. Weird stuff. It seems like every day I come home with more news. Well, I suppose seven hours will do that to you. Okay, first bit of news. I won my challenge and I think I’m getting back on Roberts’s good side again. Ashley decided to challenge me (and I was actually worried). But that’s okay. I won. I felt bad though, because Ashley and I are friends, and I didn’t want to be like “show no mercy!” or anything. I did make sort of an ass of myself when Mr. Roberts was telling us what to do, however. We were inside the music office for the challenge, and Mr. Roberts was telling us about how he would go into the other room, so he couldn’t see us. We would decided who played first and who played second. “I will refer to you as ‘Number One’ and ‘Number Two’,” he said. Pretty much forgetting completely that Mr. Roberts was standing right there, I turned to Ashley and did my best Dr. Evil impression. I actually think Mr. Roberts wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t. Ashley was Number One. I was Number Two (enter Dr. Evil voice). I think I did pretty good. After I played, I couldn’t help thinking that I had just won. “I have to go in favor of Number Two,” Mr. Roberts said. “Who was that?” I raised my hand. Then he gave us comments about what we should work on. He told us both to slow it down. I didn’t realize it had to go so slow. He was doing a slow tempo yesterday, but I thought we would go faster. “I thought you were just dumbing it down for us,” I said to Mr. Roberts, surprised. And that led him to quote me in front of the entire band. I was sort of toning him out at that time. Ashley and I were having a discussion about the composer of the music was a man or a woman, because the first name was Zo. I wasn’t really listening until I heard Mr. Roberts say, “I thought you were just dumbing it down for us.” I shot upright and started listening. He didn’t mention names, but he said that during a challenge, one of the people had said that. I was actually grateful, because even though it’s been awhile, he still remembers that I hate being called out in groups. “Hey, Claire, he quoted you,” said Ashley playfully. I laughed. I think I might challenge Zach soon, actually. He just got his wisdom teeth out, so now is the time to go for it, when he can’t really fight back, as cheap as that is. Sometimes I don’t know if I like Zach or not. He’s Jessica’s boyfriend, so I try to be nice to him, but he can be a real ass. I know that Blake hates him. I’ll think about it. I think that Mr. Roberts is better with me now, because he knows that I work now, and this challenge was proof of that. Maybe now he’s forgiven me for all my shenanigans first semester. I found out what happened to the Walrus, too. He got suspended. Fuzz told me. He was saying that he wanted to shoot his dad or something, and somehow the administration got involved. He was escorted off the campus and he’s suspended until after break. Damn. You know, I don’t know what’s going on with him lately. He’s suddenly trouble. I feel sorry for him. That’s all for me. ‘Bye. February 25, 2007 It’s been a few days because I’ve been sick. Really sick. My fever was 103 degrees. I couldn’t stand or walk because I was so dizzy. It totally came out of nowhere, too. I woke up at about quarter to two on Friday morning and I had such a bad stomachache I immediately thought, “Oh crap. I’m going to throw up.” However, it wasn’t for another hour until I did. I figured it would be a bad night all around if I didn’t at least make an attempt for the toilet, so I went and sat in the bathroom for awhile. An hour actually. I was trembly and I couldn’t stand, so I knew it was coming. I won’t rehash details or anything, but it was quite bad. I yelled for Mom and stopped after awhile, thankfully. She sent me back to bed. The only thing I remember saying is, “I don’t think I want to go to school today.” And that was the about when I lost all track of time. I slept for the better part of two days. Mom and Dad kept making me drink stuff, but I kept trying to tell them no, I was going to throw up if I drank anything. Now it’s Sunday. I still don’t feel very good. The disorientation is gone, but I still have a stomach ache. I guess this rules out water polo for tomorrow. This really sucks. My job with the Kelleys started yesterday, since it’s now break. Mom’s been having to do it and I feel pretty irresponsible. I hate it when my mommy has to do stuff for me. Also, since I was sick on Friday, I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to anyone. I would have at least liked to have gone to Latin. Band, too, actually. Ashley was going to vacation and Zach isn’t playing, so Matt had to hold up the whole section. Poor guy. I’m sure Mr. Roberts was tearing out what little hair he has left. When we get back, it will be The Dreaded Month of March in band. Mr. Roberts always makes a huge thing about how hard March is. Festival, Bands in Review, Symphony Band tryouts, and our trip. That’s partly why I had no intention of losing Ashley’s challenge, because he hinted that he wouldn’t be able to set up anything until early April, since March is freaking insano. I had no desire of losing my chair for a whole month. I’ve been out of contact with everyone for a few days. I know that Amy wanted to talk to me about something on Thursday, but I went to my lesson then did my homework then went to bed. She called yesterday, but Mom told her that I was sick. Well, I didn’t expect anyone to call Friday, except maybe Anne. Friday was the three-lunch thing for assemblies. Anne and Fuzz were the only ones in my lunch, so I didn’t expect anyone else to figure out that I was sick. I’m actually glad I missed that. If I remember correctly, I skipped that one last year. Yeah, I think that’s right. I was in my bad-ass phase and for some reason thought it was really cool to skip Goebbel’s class. Man, I was stupid. I mean, just to hang out with people? Stupid. The first time I ever did it was to lend an extra hand when Melanie and Wyatt were about to take each other’s heads off last February. I was just being a good friend. However, somehow it turned into a huge thing and I ended up looking like a snake in front of Goebbel. Recently, I realized something. We may not have seen eye to eye, me and Goebbel, but she was a fine teacher. She knew how to put the material out there. And honestly, looking back, her class wasn’t all that hard. She just had the radical idea that if you do your work, it’ll pay off. I was stupid. Well, I’m kind of bored and still feeling sort of like crap, so I guess I’m just going to hang out for awhile. February 26, 2007 I’m feeling much better today, although the virus made my muscles all sore and I can hardly extend my arms. That means I’m skipping water polo tonight, as much as that sucks. Those workouts are already hard for me when I’m healthy, so I want to know what’ll happen when I’m slightly sick. It’s only Monday and I want to go back to school. I have nothing to do, since I was sick Friday. No homework and it’s driving me insane. At least Amy called today. Now she thinks that she’s moving away to Massachusetts, and Alex is, too. They would be in different cities, but I know she’s thinking of getting back together with him. It’s going to be an utter disaster if it does happen. Alex himself told me that she’s just too clingy to be with, at least for him. I hope it never ends up happening. We were brainstorming who she should go with to the AIDS in Africa dance thing. The Huron guys are not to her liking. Well, Chris is, I suppose. I found out today that my longtime hunch about Grace liking him was right all along. Amy told me over the phone that she had competition, and she told me who. I said, “Well, yeah. I could have told you that.” Then I had to tell the whole Laura at Interlochen story to clear it up. I can’t think of anyone she’d like, honestly. Paul? Ha. Funny. Fuzz can’t pay for the ticket and she’s not even going to think about the Fairy March. I thought joking around and saying, “Okay, you can have Toner,” but something tells me that he’s scared of girls. He gives off the vibe. Michael Toner is now officially the person who follows me everywhere I go. I found out a weird thing. I had to switch my trumpet lesson because of water polo, so I had to switch with someone else. It turns out that the guy I switched with is Toner’s little brother, Stephen. Small music community. That’s Ann Arbor, I guess. I’m going to head out. ‘Bye. February 27, 2007 Nothing interesting is going on. It’s still break and I’m still bored. And it’s only Tuesday. February 28, 2007 I’m kind of tired. I just got back from water polo. It wasn’t that hard tonight, because the coach, Chris Keenan, showed a lot of videos and talked a lot, so we ended up only having about a half an hour to swim. I really like that guy. He’s really nice. I also like the team. They’re funny. Karen said that they like having new people, so I guess it’s true. Anne’s gone on a cruise, so I was somewhat alone. That meant I could blend in without her talking my ear off. In the end, Anne’s great, but she’s still a freshman with a lot to learn. I agree with popular opinion, which is that all freshmen deserve to be slapped. Some are funny but most are pretty annoying. It’s Wednesday. At least break is half over. That’s good, because I’m sick of it. Now I’m going to go to bed. March 9, 2007 Ooh, damn. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? Well, the basic news is that I’m finally settling into water polo. The practices are hard, but it’ll be okay. I want to work hard, so there’s no way I’m quitting. I like it a lot, actually. I’m not particularly good yet, but I’ve got time. On that subject, the schedule finally got to Anne. She quit. Just like that. She quit and left us behind. I tried to tell her how I feel about quitters to keep her from doing it, but it was a longer story than I cared to tell. So I’m on my own now. I have no one to swim with now. To tell the truth, I got as close to angry as I get with any of my friends at her. I mean, come on! She’s just rolling over and dying! She said that she wanted it to be like it was in Rec and Ed and it’s not. In layman’s terms, she doesn’t want to work. Okay, maybe that’s unfair. Still, I think she could have pulled it off. When I have a minute with Michael, I’m going to ask him if he ever gets frustrated when his lacrosse friends are lazy. In other news, tomorrow is Festival. We have to be there at quarter to twelve. Well, at least I get to sleep in. I’ve been getting up for conditioning (water polo thing) at about five in the morning. It’s been slightly killer. I found that I’m more awake during the day, though. I can concentrate in Geometry without thinking, “I’m so tired. I could go to sleep right here.” I can’t say the same for Wyatt, though. He’s dead out in every class. I remember Festival last year. We played the Second Suite in F and the Ascension. I loved the beginning of the Ascension. It sort of reminded me of the start of that old song we played in eighth grade, Encanto. Killian Williams was our first chair and he was just about the most inconsistent soloist of all the first chairs. He would play fine sometimes, then screw it at the concert. And, of course, that was the day I cried at “You’re Beautiful”. I swear that James Blunt has it out for me. As I’ve said before, it was the line, “But it’s time to face the truth- I will never be with you.” Enter the boo-hoos. So, yeah. We’ll see what this year is like. Of course, I’m in a much better place this year, blah blah blah. My only complaint is that we have to wear the dresses. I’m not cool with dresses. They don’t work with me. Why couldn’t I have been a guy? Then I could have worn one of the spiffy tuxes. Well, I look pretty good in mine, so I guess I’m not complaining that much. Let’s see. What’s going on in school? In English, we’re finally done with Kindred. We finished with a project, a newspaper. We got to work with a partner, so Nick and I worked together like we usually do. I wouldn’t have minded working with Alex, but I think he was doing it with someone else. Our project came out good. Nick’s a good partner. Now we’re watching The Butterfly Effect. I’ve seen it before, but it’s so much more fun to watch it with your friends. Alex and Nick are quite the comedians, especially since the movie is really screwed up. It deals with time travel, which is probably why we’re seeing it. It’s kind of sad, though, because he keeps trying to make his life right, but he still ends up killing his girlfriend pretty much every time, or she hooks up with the fat ugly guy instead. We didn’t quite finish it, so I’m hoping we’re going to do that Monday. I’m going to go. Peace out. March 12, 2007 It’s Monday night and we have no school tomorrow. The juniors are taking some test tomorrow, so the rest of us get a couple days off. It doesn’t apply to water polo, however. We’re still going in for conditioning at six in the morning. The first day of the season was today. I couldn’t swim, though. My physical isn’t in yet. First, we had a team meeting that lasted about an hour. Chris left and the captains started running the show. Everyone got into a circle and we had to say our name, grade, and something weird that we could do. It was freaking hilarious. After awhile, it turned into a mockery of Alcoholics Anonymous. I love the team. Everyone is really nice. I think I hit gold here. I’m still trying to think of a way to talk Amy around. I swear, every week we go through the same thing. I don’t get it, myself. None of my other friends had a problem with me doing this. Somehow, the same argument keeps coming around. I’m not making an effort and she can’t get her way. I say something to the effect of I control my own life and she’s blowing this out of proportion. Usually I end up with the upper hand (for obvious reasons) but it’s getting annoying! She’d better get used to this, because it’s not going away for a very long time. I sat on the side of the pool for the remaining time, which was about an hour and a half. Toner came by and I said hello to him. At six, I went out to the Athletic Lobby and blinked with surprise. I had never seen the place so full. I swear, everyone and their grandmother was there. Well, of course, the sports starting today are soccer, track (guys and girls), baseball, softball, golf, tennis, lacrosse (guys and girls), and girls’ water polo. It was interesting to see the lacrosse team. I remember the banquet last year. That was fun. For the most part, the lacrosse guys are really nice guys. Michael’s playing goalie this year. Their dumbass goalie from last year graduated and the backup thinks he’s going to get drafted for playing long stick midfielder. That leaves The Fabulous Mike Beaulieu as Huron’s goalie. It’s too bad, because he was a damn good attack and a good midfielder, too. I realized today, now my two Latin buddies and I all have something in common now. We’re all in water sports. Garrett got the late news today that I’m playing. I told him today in the 6200 hallway. I was going down the hall without Wyatt for some reason when I saw someone behind me closing in. I knew it had to be either Toner or Garrett, so I took a guess. “I see you, Garrett!” He grinned and caught up with me and we headed down the hallway together. “How was your day?” he asked, beating gently on my arm. I resisted the temptation to point out that it wasn’t even second hour yet. “Okay,” I said. “I had to get up at five in the morning to swim, though.” “You’re on the water polo team?” “Yep,” I said, nodding. He high-fived me and grinned. “Is Chris making you work hard?” I groaned. “Yeah, he’s trying to kill me.” We split up at the 4200 hallway like usual. He goes to the 5200 hallway and I continue down the hall to Wilson’s class. I don’t know who Garrett’s girlfriend is, but I hope she knows just how lucky she is. Speaking of Wilson, the student teacher is gone. Yes! Well, she’s not gone, she’s just not teaching anymore. At least we’re done with the stupid middle school partner projects now. Back to individual high school work now. I’m going to miss working with Nick on everything, though. Nick’s a quality guy. I know for a fact that he used to smoke like a chimney, but he kicked it. Now, anytime anyone brings up drugs, he makes sure to say that weed is “some bad shit”. He’s a really cool guy. I’ll miss him next year. Well, I don’t know what I’ll do now. I think I’m going to go get some food or something, because this water polo is exploding my appetite. March 13, 2007 I’m so exhausted. Today was my first real practice, since I got all my forms in. It was kind of hard. We did the weight room and then got into the pool. We did a lot of shooting drills. Our goalie is really good. She blocked six straight shots, one after another. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s exhausting. Today mostly consisted of me running all over creation trying to get my water polo stuff together. I woke up at a little after eleven. After much begging and pressing, I got Michael to get off his ass and take me to the doctor’s office to get the sports physical form. We dropped it off at Huron and I got the slip that says it’s okay for me to practice. After that, I had to go to the VA and get Mom to sign another form. Before we left, Amy called. She actually called the Fairy March to see if he had a problem with her going to Florida. I’ve told her a million times that people forget stuff. Sure, it was kind of big, but it was nearly two years ago. Then she asked if I could hang out. I told her I had to go get my mom to sign some stuff, then I had to drop it off, then I had to go to practice. It was the truth, but hey. You can guess what that brought up. The old generic argument. “You’re ditching me for practice again?” she exclaimed. “Well, it’s not like I have a choice,” I said. Then she went off on a thing about how she knew that things were going to change once I joined water polo and all that. Thankfully, Michael called me to go, so I told her I had to go with no regrets. I’m sick of this argument. Really. This is not my problem! I told her over the phone, “We can’t keep reinventing this, you know.” I mean, come on. It’s my life and unfortunately I can’t center it around her. I’ve been thinking, I’m really the one who should be angry, but I’m not. I mean, the support was just awesome through all this. (That was sarcastic.) This was a major step out of the box for me, and this made it that much harder. Amy’s going to have to get over this. There’s nothing I can do anymore. Our first game is tomorrow. I’m kind of nervous. It’s away at Grand Blanc (wherever the hell that is). I told Mom and Dad that I don’t expect them to come, because it’s far away, but also because I don’t want them to see me when I haven’t picked it up fully yet. I didn’t tell them the second part. Michael tells me that they’d just be proud of me for trying something new, but I have my pride. I have a headache. I’m going to go.

January 29, 2007 Another day with me all alone. It’s Monday, but we get today off to recover from finals. I’ve been alone all day, since Mom’s at work and David’s at college. He should actually be home soon. I’m kind of bored and a bit cold. We went to Outback Steakhouse last night for dinner, since it was just the three of us. I don’t know what it is, but I always end up feeling a little sick and over full when I go there. It was nice to go out to eat, though. Before we ate, we heard a Dave Matthews Band song that I knew, but I couldn’t bring up the name no matter how much I thought. I Googled it when we got home, and apparently it’s called “What Would You Say”. I ended up buying it later on that night. Along with that, I got two other Dave Matthews Band songs, “Everyday” and “Grace is Gone”. I have to say, I love “Everyday”. Since no one is here, I was dancing around upstairs singing it. I burned a really cool CD with all the songs I bought, plus “Lips of an Angel” and that Lit song, “My Own Worst Enemy”. Michael is going to be after that CD. I’ve been practicing for my solo. I think it’s going to be okay. I worked out all the rhythms that were hard for me, so I just have to work on getting it up to tempo in the next five days or so. Ashley is supposed to call me today to tell me the time we’re going to practice at her house. Hopefully Caleb and Blake will be home this time around. Despite what MacArthur said, I think we’re doing pretty good. Caleb and Blake have a hard part, but they’re doing good. That doesn’t stop me from being nervous as hell about going to Solo and Ensemble. On that note, I’m going to go work on my solo. January 30, 2007 Well, today was the first day of the second semester. I have seven hours. I was really quite bummed. I like six hours just fine, thank you very much. But, on the plus side, I’ve switched Speech for Western Civ. and I know that’ll be okay. I have Western Civ. third hour. It’s probably going to be the best class ever. Karen, Wyatt, and Grace from English are in that class. I don’t know about Mr. Overbey (or Kent, as he wants to be called). The man can tell a long, hairy story very well. Half the time I had no idea where he was going with whatever he was talking about. He (like Mr. Fox, funnily enough) has a huge monotone, but he’s funny when he wants to be. Well, I have some people I know in that class, so I’ll have some fun. My second new class is Personal Fitness. If that weren’t a required class then I wouldn’t be taking it. I am unathletic and I know it. My teacher for that is a dude named Mr. Simons, or Coach Si. He seems... dense. He’s really old and not really a great thinker. We don’t have to bring clothes until Thursday, which is good, because I was stressing out about whether I should bring clothes today or not. It’s mostly freshmen, but I know a girl in there who was in Samulak’s class with me last year. Today was actually decently interesting. Fuzz is back for good now. I’m happy that he’s back. He actually contributed to a rather interesting scene involving the Walrus and I today. We took Fuzz down to see him, because he mentioned that he wanted to see him. The Walrus made a huge thing about seeing him for the first time, even though I had let him know that Fuzz was coming home awhile ago. We were all standing there talking, me, Amy, Fuzz, the Walrus, Karen, and Anne popped in every once in awhile. He was joking around like usual, and it made me realize how much I missed the guy that was my friend. Amy had to open her big fat mouth and she recalled the time of the note. I swear he had nearly forgotten. “For the record, those two suckered me into it,” I said, pointing an accusing finger at Amy and Fuzz. He looked me straight in the eye. “Do you really feel that way?” he asked in a sort of quiet voice. I smiled. “No. I’m glad I did it.” And I am. Even if it didn’t work out so well, he served his purpose. Then, it was the strangest thing. We looked at each other and he said, “I’m sorry. I had something good and I just...” he trailed off. “I was an ass.” I was taken aback. If anything, I should be apologizing. “Don’t be sorry. It was my fault. I got grounded and everything.” (Note: Total Lie.) “Still, I feel bad.” “Don’t feel bad,” I said back. I took a look at him, sighed, and said, “I’m sorry it worked out this way.” We hugged and then stepped back. I realized then that, right there, that was it. The end of a ten-month saga. Karen looked very confused. I laughed. “Very, very long story,” I explained. “Yeah, it is,” Amy put in. Fuzz nodded. And it was almost like a miracle in Earth Science. I swear, the ice was broken. It was like I was seeing the guy for the first time since I told him on that bright day in May during the fire drill. It was like last semester, only without him and Amy going at it every other day. We joked around the whole time. It was the best day in Earth Science for a very long time. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I ended up with an A in English for the semester. Some people switched out, and other people switched in. Right now, I sit next to a kid named Alex Pearlman. It’s killing me. I know the name, but I have no idea how! I’m going to ask if Mom and Dad know the Pearlmans. He’s a perfectly nice guy. I like him so far. Nick and Paul both know him. Right now, we’re reading a weird book called Kindred. It has a lot to do with time travel. We’ll see if I like it or not. Mr. Julius also put up the grades today. I went to go see my grade with some trepidation, since, looking back, I didn’t think I did all that good. I glanced at my student number. 113681. Semester Grade: A. Huh? Final Grade: A+. No way, I thought. No freakin’ way. I was ecstatic. I really thought I hadn’t done that great on it. I was so happy I gave Mr. Julius a big hug. I was so happy. That means that I’m getting four As this semester, Bs in Speech and Earth Science. Then we all watched Spartacus. It’s actually kind of cool. Mr. Julius said he didn’t want to do anything related to finals anymore, so we watched a movie instead. Toner made Garrett take off his hat before the movie and I gasped. Garrett had cut off all of his blonde curls. It’ll take some getting used to. What is it with guys and getting a Marine cut lately? Ashley gave me a ride home, since Dad and Michael were coming home from Purdue. Her mom is really nice. I kind of felt bad, since I hate it when my friends have to act as my taxi service. But, I don’t know how the seventh hour bus works yet, so I had to do something. We’re probably going to do our practice for Solo and Ensemble tomorrow. We’re doing good. I’m not worried. Now I’m here. Dad and Michael are back. I should probably go talk to Dad, since I haven’t talked to him for a few days. January 31, 2007 Not much happened today, unless you count that I’m getting used to having a seventh hour. I still hate it, but at least it’s a little better. Coach Si is kind of a nut job, but he’s an okay guy. Today he showed us the locker room and the weight room and such. I hate taking a class with so many freshmen. I think all freshmen should be consciously sedated until they learn to grow up. Mr. Julius got sick or something, so we got another Latin sub. This one actually showed up. Fortunately, he was totally out of it. Toner, Garrett, and I played tic-tac-toe on the board, then hangman. Garrett and I got into a debate over hangman strategies. I say you should always name vowels first, because every word has them. He said that you should name the most common letters first, like R, S, and T. I missed a couple of the easy ones, then Toner got in on the act. His word was “unrhythmic iambic pentameter”. I had to roll my eyes. “You have been spending way too much time with Mrs. Wright,” I told him, shaking my head. He has her this year. I told him how sorry I was. She’s a bitch to freshmen, in the words of Blake. It was kind of hard, dividing attention between Toner and Garrett. I mean, at one point, I had two hangman games going, me versus Garrett and me versus Toner. Sometimes Garrett would come to our game and whisper suggestions in my ear. I try to give them both equal attention, even though I seem to be more inclined towards Garrett. Yet I hang with Toner for his sake and because I honestly like him. Nice guy, really. He’s misunderstood, but in a way he reminds me of a cross between David and Cam. It kills me, because I know how he feels. I’ve had experience as a freshman going after the attractive sophomore who I could never have. It sucks, and I don’t mind Toner. The student teacher in English isn’t all that good, and quite frankly, I miss Mr. Wilson. She’s a pushover and the only reason she’s kind of in control of the class is because it’s mostly guys who think she’s hot. I like Mr. Wilson’s style a lot better, where we just read the book and talk about it in class. She has us put a bunch of sticky notes on the book about stuff we found “interesting”. I wonder how far away March is... Speaking of which, I’m going to go read Kindred. Damn awful sticky notes reading assignment... February 3, 2007 Whoa. Been a few days. Well, it’s the wonderful month of February now and it’s damn cold. We’re supposed to hit minus three or something tonight. On the extremely bright side, today was Solo and Ensemble, and I am done! It was really hard this year, since I got two twos. I can make excuses to my parents and friends, but I can’t make them to myself. A two kind of made me mad at myself. Strangely enough, I was so calm on the way over. I remember the car ride over last year. I was listening to “Vindicated” (Dashboard Confessional) and freaking out. This time, it was better. Mom even commented on how calm I was. I went to the practice room alone. I spied Blake on the other side of the room, talking to some people. I suddenly realized who it was. Zach’s brass quintet. Just take a wild guess at who the tuba player is in that quintet. I heard a story concerning them, which Blake had me cracking up at. Laja, who’s the other trumpet besides Zach, showed up about a minute before they had to play, so Blake was setting up to fill in. Then Laja came at the very last minute, but then Coleman Alexander, the French horn player, had to leave mysteriously for something in Huron Players. So, they had to draft a horn player in Symphony Band who was passing by. Also, Luis showed up in jeans. That cracked me up. Jeans are a tad frowned upon in Solo and Ensemble. “It’s too bad you missed it,” Blake added. “It was like a bad soap opera.” We played our quartet piece. We definitely got off a little, but somehow we pulled it back together. In the end, we got a two, which I think Blake was disappointed in more than anyone. Mom said we sounded good, but she’s my mother, so she’s required to say that. After that, we went to go get some lunch at McDonald’s and I told her stuff about band in the car. Then it was time for my solo. Actually, it wasn’t. We were backed up by two hours. The room itself was backed up by about twenty-five minutes, but since Susan Wagner had to do a bunch of other peoples’ solos first, we ended up waiting for two hours. I’m not even kidding. That really had an impact on my solo. I was really dried out, so I couldn’t hit a lot of the notes and a few of the articulations. And, of course, I got the hardest trumpet judge. Glen Ackers. I’m not going to say that like he’s on my list or anything, but he was really hard. He made some kid cry, a kid who was playing the same solo as me. He gave me a two, which I was glad about, in the end. It wasn’t my best, and I knew it. I wonder what Blake got. He was playing the same piece as me, too. We went home after that. I was beat. It had been a long day. The rest of the day was easy. I hung out and watched Court TV for awhile. Then, we had to go to our grandfather’s seventy-eighth birthday party. He’s actually a funny guy these days. Sometimes I forget he’s the guy that Dad tells all the horror stories about. The dude was a terrible father. That’s part of the reason the last four of Dad’s brothers and sisters are so messed up and are going to be forever, probably. I’m really glad Solo and Ensemble is over. I hate Solo and Ensemble. In the practice room, waiting for my solo, I realized that I would rather audition for Mr. Roberts than for some judge who doesn’t know me. I don’t know why, but I would. Mr. Roberts isn’t really all that scary. He’s just a really good musician and band director with a slightly swollen ego. Man, I hope he doesn’t give me a bad comment this quarter. He shouldn’t be angry with me anymore. The last time he yelled at me was a long time ago. Grades do come out kind of soon. As far as I know, I got three As, one A-, and two Bs. The Bs were in Speech and Earth Science. The As were in Latin (since I found out I got 113% on the final- second-highest grade of all Mr. Julius’s finals), English, and band, if I’m on Mr. Roberts’s good side now. The A- was in Geometry, which pissed me off. I had an A! I need to calculate all those, but I think I got around a 3.6 GPA. Not bad for a slacker. Okay, it’s late, so I’m going to bed. February 5, 2007 I’m supposed to be doing Earth Science homework, but I’m already kind of done, so I’ll just hang out for awhile. We had a snow day today. Well, more a cancel-school-because-it’s-freezing day. The temperature this morning was ten below or something, and Ann Arbor was included in the districts that didn’t have school. I kind of hope we have one tomorrow, too. Whatever. I’ll try not to jinx it. I literally did nothing today. I went back to sleep after I heard the announcement on the radio, and had some strange dreams. What I remember is that I was on the edge of some village, trying to save some animal over and over. I found the animal down a gorge, right above a river. The water was unnaturally blue. Then, I was in Mr. Drake’s room. I was in the room with a bunch of animals, and they could talk. The only animal I remember was a white tiger, and he had a boy’s face. Tigers mean emotions that scare me. Odd stuff. At about quarter to one, I finally woke up. It was really bright outside, which is really weird for Michigan. I got up and got some breakfast, and found out that David had been sick upstairs. I swear, he’s got some issues. He throws up like once a month, and I haven’t thrown up since last May, and that was the first time in about four years. The rest of the day, I just hung out and did nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s been fun. I finally did calculate my GPA with what I got this semester. If all my grades stayed the same, then I got a 3.61 GPA. “That’s respectable,” Michael commented. Well, gee, thanks. He wouldn’t have told me that I did well unless I had gotten a perfect 4.0. I thought it was funny that Michael and I got the same semester grade in Geometry and from the same teacher. I wonder if Mr. Kim noticed that. We both got an A-, according to the transcript that I found on his desk this summer. But that’s enough for me. I did as well as he did in math, which is a real first. This year has been going so great. I have good grades! Really good grades, grades that can get me into a good college. So is this what all those teachers in middle school used to preach at me, that I have potential? Mr. Thobe in particular used to go after me, because he knew that, despite how I acted in his class, I really was smart. I’m loving this. I love school. Right now, I’m not sure if I want to go back to school. Another snow day would be nice, but I’m sure I’ll be going crazy by tomorrow night. I kind of miss Latin. What’s my school career without Toner and Garrett? It’s good we finally found a language that I like. I should probably get off of here, before the parents catch me. February 6, 2007 And yet another snow day. I’m bored and blasting “Semi-Charmed Life” to drown out David’s music. Amazing how different two people can be, people who are raised in the same circumstances and have the same parents. It’s hard sometimes, but at least I have Michael, I guess. I didn’t realize until I looked up the lyrics awhile ago that “Semi-Charmed Life” is a druggie song. It’s about being addicted to crystal meth, actually. The sky was gold It was rose I was taking sips of it through my nose I wish I could get back there Someplace Back there Smiling in the pictures you would take Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break It won’t stop There’s a lot more too it than that. The whole thing is about two really long verses. He never does get off of crystal meth. Sad song. Well, there is officially nothing to do here. We found out that they canceled school last night. It had been on the website for a long time. I would have called all my friends to alert them that school was canceled, but it was pretty late, a little after eleven. I think every school in the county was closed today, because I heard on the radio that there were too many school closings to say on the air. Damn, I thought. That must be a lot. I ended up having a dream that we did have school. Now I’m sort of hoping that we’re going to have school tomorrow. I don’t think I’ll be able to survive any more days like this. All my homework has been finished for awhile now, so it’s not like I can do anything to expand my GPA or something. Hm, that reminds me. Grades probably come either today or tomorrow. Let’s just hope that Roberts lays off this quarter and doesn’t give me a bad comment. Well, that’s all for now. ‘Bye. February 8, 2007 Quite the interesting day today. A lot of stuff happened. The first of all that was that we got our course selection sheets via the annual pointless assembly for the class of 2009. I got to skip second hour for it, which I was kind of glad about. The student teacher drives me nuts. I had forgotten that we probably had the assembly today, since we had a test in Geometry, so I was focusing on that. Nick brought it to my attention when I walked into Mr. Wilson’s room. My last name starts with a B, so I went with about half of Wilson’s class to the auditorium. I sat with Amy and Karen and we made snide wise-ass comments all throughout the assembly. Karen is hilarious. I’ve decided what classes I’m taking. Band, Latin 3, Chemistry, U.S. History, Algebra 3/4 (kill me now), AC English, and some elective. I think AC will be good for me. I like English a lot, and I might get Karen, since she’s taking it too. During the assembly, Mrs. Caudle started talking about Health or a required class or something, and I started thinking about how I hadn’t taken Health yet, and how I really didn’t want to take it with a bunch of people who are freshmen now. Then a brilliant idea hit me. Maybe there was a summer course or something that I could take in its place! And that led me to Mrs. Caudle’s office at lunch, along with everyone else and their grandmother. And that was the place that a really interesting thing happened. The line was really long, at least five or six people. The Fairy March came up and joined the party. I grinned and made an attempt at friendliness, since we’re in Geometry together and all. “The line’s really long,” I said somewhat lamely. He nodded and I ended up striking up a friendly conversation about math. “So how did you like the test today?” I asked. And that set it off. I can honestly say that I’ve met the famous Fairy March now. We’re actually really similar. I like him, actually. I think he’s a nice guy. Kind of quiet, but a nice guy. Amy came onto the scene with me a little later, and we all talked. It was odd, like one of those things you don’t really expect. I talked about how embarrassed I was about how bad I did last year. “What’s your GPA?” he asked. “You just met her!” Amy protested. I laughed. “Well, now I have a three-five, but I did really bad last year.” I handed him the transcript that Mrs. Caudle had given me. “You wouldn’t even let me see that,” Amy interjected. I rolled my eyes. “You can,” I said. “I was joking.” “You got a C- in Samulak’s class?” she asked. “Samulak’s class was so easy! No wonder you got a bad GPA,” she added. “I have a three-five,” I retorted. “Observe the three-five.” I glanced at the line and sighed, “I’m going to have to get a pass to Drake’s class.” Amy groaned. “I am in no hurry to get to math,” she complained. “Skip!” the Fairy March and I said together. “I’m not going to skip, you guys.” “You’re outvoted,” I said, grinning. “You have to skip.” I’m glad I finally talked to him like Amy has been after me to do. My main wish is that this doesn’t turn into what it was with Zach and Alex. She says it won’t, but I’m not sure I believe that. I mean, Alex was just her boyfriend, and she loved this guy. If I make one wrong move, I’m scared that it’ll be the same thing. In other news, I dropped Personal Fitness. After the Fairy March scene, I went in to see Mrs. Caudle and she told me that it was in my better interest to take Health in Personal Fitness’s place, seventh hour. She told me to come back after Latin and talk more about it. I’ll fast forward and say that we ended up switching me. As much as I’m going to miss “Coach Si” and the rest of Personal Fitness, Health is better. I got some lady named Mrs. Symington. I like her so far. She gave me an override to get into her class, anyway. I just pretty much went from one blowoff class to another, really. So, yeah, that was my day. Until tomorrow or whenever. February 9, 2007 Well, I’m finally getting into the rhythm of my new schedule. After school, I rode the city bus home for the first time on my own. To tell you the truth, I was kind of scared. You can get really lost on city buses if you don’t know where you’re going. However, I pulled it off with no incidents. Victory for Claire. I realized on the bus that this is, in some ways, the first step to adulthood. Getting yourself home without your parents having to come pick you up and worry about you. I forgot my course selection sheet today, so I couldn’t get Mr. Kim to sign me for Algebra 3/4. Course selection is suddenly becoming a huge thing to the sophomores. Last year, everyone just kind of picked generic classes, but this year everyone’s all freaked out about what’s going to look good for college and what won’t. Amy is getting all bent out of shape about how she needs more AP-like classes. I suggested that she take AC with Karen and me, but she absolutely hated that idea. She’s a slow reader. It sometimes kind of annoys me how Amy complains about stuff like that but she’s not willing to work to earn the grade. For example, she could probably pull off AC if she just worked at it a little, but she doesn’t want to and complains. “All my friends are taking AC this and AP that,” she said during lunch. I didn’t really know what to say to that. In the end (I’m sure it was because she was sick of all our AC English talk), she said that it might not even matter, because she might be moving to England. Oh yeah. Amy might be moving to England (the Walrus, too, actually). Her dad sent an application out there. I don’t know how to react. Really. It was one thing when she might have been moving to D.C., but now to a whole ‘nother freaking country? It sucks big time. But on the other hand, I’ve realized recently, we’re becoming really different people. Sometimes I would rather just talk to Karen about stuff that we have in common. I mean, I get a work ethic this year and suddenly everything changes. Suddenly I want friends that can talk about the stuff I talk about. I don’t want to say “smart friends”, but just aware friends, I suppose. That’s all for me. ‘Bye. February 10, 2007 I realized a few days ago that the snow will probably be melted kind of soon. We only have eighteen more days left in February. It was a nice thing to think about yesterday, when I had to make the hike home from the city bus. Eighteen more days, and not all of them school days. I won’t even be taking the bus for all those school days. Then it’ll be March. This year’s going fast. It’ll be summer before I know it. I think I had one of those epic dreams last night, one of those really big dreams that go a long time. I think it had to do with me going on an adventure of sorts, kind of a rescue mission. I had to get past this wall of soldiers. They would attack if I tried to get by, but otherwise they just stood there. I don’t know how, but I got by. Then I was descending down into a hole to find something. I ended up saving three babies. Then I was in my living room, trying to take care of them. I was thinking of them as dogs for some reason, and sometimes they even appeared to me as dogs. I decided to put them in the playpen but couldn’t do it. I was thinking to myself, “This would be so much easier if they were puppies!” Other than my weird dream, the day has been kind of boring. Typical Saturday, I suppose. February 12, 2007 I didn’t get to sleep until forever last night. I had a lot on my mind. It started when I realized another drawback of seventh hours. I’m going to have to give up practice club. Michael can’t take me after seventh hour, because he has to lift weights. I was pretty upset. “I don’t do a whole lot, you know,” I said angrily to Mom and Michael, down in the basement. “This is important to me!” After awhile, I realized that I had lost. I was going to have to give it up. I cried, as stupid as that is. Michael walked in on me feeling sorry for myself and said, “You know, if you want something to do this semester, you could do a spring sport.” I told him no. No way. I suck at sports, remember? It’s especially bad, because Michael’s a pretty great all-around athlete. “You could do lacrosse,” he suggested. “You would be a great goalie.” I put my foot down. “No way. I highly dislike the lacrosse girls.” And I do. They’re a bunch of athletic bitches, and I hate that word. “Besides,” I added, “the only sport I would ever consider is water polo.” Truth be told, I thought about playing last year, but I was too scared. In the shower about a month ago, I thought again about what it would be like to play. Too bad I’m a pansy. Michael’s eyes lit up. “Yeah!” he exclaimed. “You should do that!” I had really nothing to say. I couldn’t let him talk me into this. No way. We ended up talking for another hour. I told him just about everything, about how I didn’t want to have to break in to the team and how I didn’t want to make myself look like an idiot. Also, I didn’t want to be the sub-par athlete next to my fabulous older brother. He shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “We can both be athletes, you know.” Athlete. Just the word sorely tempted me. Every single time I even hear the word I wish I was one. But there were too many reasons not to, and I told him so. Most of all, the idea scared me. Really. On the inside, I’m scared of what people think of me. Also, I haven’t had a good record at breaking into teams. Then I told Michael a story. When I was in late elementary school, I played a lot of soccer. Looking back, I was nothing spectacular, but I really liked it. One day, a little before Christmas, Christy invited me to join her team. They weren’t Rec and Ed, the elementary school thing. They were United, the next step up. I was way excited. I thought everything would work out just magically. However, that was Naomi Kesten’s soccer team. To this day I have no idea what I did wrong. They hated me. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t fit in. A girl named Jenny Chappuis picked on me the most and I hated that team with everything I had. The one bright point of that season was the game that we were missing most of the team and I ended up scoring three goals, which conveniently made Jenny and Naomi hate me more. They purposely excluded me and I can’t forget it. I know I was much different back then, but I still remember. That was the end of my soccer career forever. And Naomi hasn’t changed one bit, for the record. “It’s not like that in high school,” Michael promised me. In the end, I realized he was right. I could bring up a million reasons to not play, but for once in my lifetime I had to be brave. Michael outlined all the reasons why I should. The one that most appealed to me is that I might get my letter. I have crazy fantasies of lettering in something trumpet unrelated. Also, as he said, I would meet a whole other group of people and the semester would fly by. And that’s what drove me to talk to Karen today. “Are you seriously thinking of joining?” she asked, grinning. I nodded, and that set off the conversation. Karen was really helpful. She told me that a bunch of people join up as sophomores, some even as juniors, like Lisa Winters. (If you remember, her brother Peter was my squad leader freshman year at Interlochen.) She joined water polo as a junior and was elevated to varsity at the end of the season. Amy couldn’t believe it when I told her. She kind of overheard, but I kind of told her, too. “So, tell me about this game you call water polo,” I said jokingly to Karen at lunch. “Especially since I’m thinking of joining,” I added for Amy’s benefit. “What? Seriously?” she said incredulously. “But you can’t swim, Claire!” That nettled me. “I can swim very well, thank you very much,” I said back coolly. I’m a great swimmer. I’ve always been. I think Amy just felt strange, though. She started going on about how she would never play any sports. Maybe she thinks I’m slipping away or something like that? Whatever. I’m still me, even if I do starting playing. So, yeah. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I mean, I want to do this, but there’s a part of me that’s really scared. I’ve never played in my life! I don’t know the rules or anything. Karen said it wasn’t a problem, but I still worry. I told myself I’d look up the rules on Google on the bus ride home. I’ve got to do some thinking. I need to pray for the strength to do this or something. Okay, that’s all for now. I’m out of here. February 14, 2007- Valentine’s Day It’s yet another snow day. Someone kill me now. We got a huge storm last night, so now I’m sitting here being incredibly bored. However, I think that everyone with a girlfriend or boyfriend is happy, because that means they can get together today outside of school. I know Anne and Cam are at his house today. They’re a good couple. Cam calls me Shorty now. I call him Banjo in retaliation. If school hadn’t been canceled today, Amy would have skipped English, for kind of a strange reason. Yesterday, she was at her creative writing thing with her English class in the library, and she read a story about a really bad summer in front of a bunch of people. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really understand what was so damn mortifying about it. However, I spent about an hour telling her not to. It sort of made me mad, because she’s satisfied if she looks like a weakling! Maybe I have personal honor issues or something. Well, I finally did end up looking at the rules for water polo. It seems like there’s a lot to it. The fouls pretty much say you can’t do anything. I’ve heard that referees ignore a lot of it, though. Karen told the coach that I’m probably going to join, and he told Karen that she should bring me soon, so I can be as prepared as possible. I’m having kind of a weird mix of emotions on this. I really want to do this, like really bad. Yet I’m scared. It’s like I can’t wait, but I’m scared to death. If that makes any sense at all. I was sort of thinking, maybe I could get Anne to join up with me. She told me last year during a karate class that she planned to go out for water polo. I asked her about it, but she had to go, since she was off to Cam’s place. That would be really cool, and would be beneficiary to her, since she once told me that her classes have a bunch of assholes in them. Freshmen have it so easy. I wish I had known that. So, the way I’m going to make myself not wimp out is to repeat all the good things that are going to happen because of this. I’ll play a sport and be considered an athlete and contribute to the 60% or whatever of Huron people that play sports. I’ll meet new people and they’ll probably like me. I might get my letter and get one of those spiffy letter jackets. Athletic involvement looks good for college applications. Also, (although this is stupid) I’ll get to order a hoodie and stuff. I might be a respected and well-liked member of the class of 2009. I might just be good and I will have found something that I’m better than Michael at. I’ll be less of a loser and I’ll have a life. Karen has been really good about this. She’s been telling me that the coach is more than happy to teach first-timers and that JV is mostly social, not necessarily the “let’s kick some ass” mentality. Overall, and in time, I think I’m going to be fine. I mean, I want to play contact sports, but there really aren’t many for girls, so water polo is the next best thing. Also, I love to swim. Michael’s also been great. A few days ago, he had to drop David off at a rehearsal and wait there, so I went with him. “Are you seriously going through with this?” he asked me. I nodded and said, “Yeah, unless something comes up.” “Like what?” I thought. “I can’t think of anything.” He laughed. It was good to talk to him that night. He started listing off why it was good that I’m doing this. I think he may actually be proud of me, which is a nice feeling. He told me to start going to the preseason stuff, because he said that people won’t like it if I don’t do anything with the team and I’m just a random walk-on that didn’t earn it. It was great to talk to him. In the end, I laughed and said, “You know, I can’t believe I’m doing this.” “So that’s why you should do it,” Michael said simply. He’s actually right. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Hell, if I can break into the team, I can do anything. I need to be brave. Otherwise, I have no room to lecture Amy about being weak and facing up to the stuff you’ve done. I think I’m going to go try to enjoy my snow day.

January 2, 2007 I’m bored of vacation. I’ve done Mr. Kim’s math packet, as much as we’ve learned so far. I think I’m going to do all right on his final. It’s Speech I’m worried about. I’ve got to do good on this speech. Mr. Fox has stopped going easy on me. Apparently he thinks I’m past my extreme performance anxiety or something. He’s not wrong, but it was a useful advantage. It’s been kind of a crappy evening. I got bounced off the TV again for David, which totally pisses me off. I fought to keep it, but no. Mom still made me leave. Dad came into my room later and said he would make David leave, but I said no. Why don’t they get that it’s the principle? I swear, I’m not the youngest. I’m the middle kid. David’s the youngest. Michael is really like the oldest. I mean, let’s face it. I look up to Michael, not David. It’s pretty damn good that Michael never needed an example to follow. Michael showed me how to do everything, really, from the time that we were little. This was one thing I told Shrink Bob. If there is a choice to focus on David or me, it will always be David. Today, I was sort of thinking about what a nice guy Shrink Bob was. I know I said I hated going there, but he himself was a great guy. It was nice just to spell out in black and white what I thought was wrong with my family and have someone actually listen. Well, around the first weeks of ninth grade, I was literally going nuts. I mean, I chucked a baseball at David’s head! I remember that fight I had with Dad. He told me I was out of control and that he was going to ask around for a good counselor. He wanted to make progress before I started high school. “You don’t think you have a problem, do you?” he asked me. I shook my head defiantly. “No. Not at all.” So, yeah, once again, I fought. I didn’t want to go. I remember sitting on the step, petting Bailey and holding back tears. Michael walked by, on the way up to his room. “What are you doing?” he asked, staring at me. “I’m petting the dog.” My voice cracked. Michael is the one person in the world that I can’t hide how I feel to. I remember him sighing and taking me into the basement. Michael is the real reason I went. He told me there was no shame in going and that I was still a good person. I just needed anger-control strategies. After that, he told me all the stuff he had done. We’re talking EVERYTHING. Everything from weed smoking to secret parties. It was the best conversation we had had in years. That was the day we made a pact that we would tell all stories to each other. “The next two years can be fun, if you want,” he said. He snuck out a week later through my window, and I helped him. Good thing Mom and Dad never found that out, even though we were loud as hell. I should go. It’s late. ‘Bye. January 3, 2007 Today, I actually woke up before one o’clock. Actually, I woke up at ten-thirty and promptly went back to sleep. Too early. I got out of bed at about twelve-thirty. Well, that’s better than two in the afternoon. I know I’m not going to be sleeping at all the night that vacation ends. Pretty good day today, for vacation. I took Grandmom all around the city today, because she doesn’t really know her way around here yet. I don’t want to say that she’s a scary driver, but she could be better. The park jobs need work. I guess I’m not really one to talk, am I? I can’t park to save my life. Well, whatever. I actually had fun. We can’t be that different, after all. Something tells me that she would have been a very different person, had she not married into the Beaulieus. Ugh. I want to go back to school! I miss school. Latin, most of all. I’ve decided what my New Year’s resolution is. I’m going to be nicer to Mr. Roberts and actually listen when he goes off on a tangent. I’m going to stop talking in band, most of all. I’m going to cut the “weird look” that I apparently have on my face. Kind of stupid, I know, but I think it’ll benefit everyone. Mr. Roberts has to like me for me to get into Symphony Band, although he let Vijay in, and Vijay was the most tactless guy in Concert Band last year. Mr. Roberts actually screamed at him one day. Really screamed. I’ve never seen him so mad, and we’re talking Roberts, here. I think what happened was Vijay forgot his music or something and he didn’t ask for a copy until his solo came up or something like that. It was almost scary. Roberts gave him a death stare and then walked out of the room. The band oohed. “He’s going to go get the whip, Vijay!” Caleb shouted. Everyone laughed. After that, Roberts came back in with a part and gave Vijay a roared lecture. I was sort of thinking, hey, if that guy can get in, maybe Roberts will forgive all my past shenanigans. Okay, Weird Dream Time. I dreamed I was packing for some band trip. Interlochen, I think. First, I couldn’t find a suitcase that would hold all my stuff, and then I realized I was late. Really late. I went out into the kitchen and begged Mr. Julius to wait (because apparently he was driving us), but Mr. Julius said he couldn’t wait. The last thing I remember was running out to the driveway and seeing a red sedan there and then I started waking up. The first thing I thought was, “Crap! I didn’t pack deodorant or a toothbrush!” The packing means there are big changes ahead. Oh, great. Being late means I fear change. A car means that I need to stop and enjoy life. Red is raw power or passion. A suitcase means that changes are needed. Are we sensing a theme here? I wonder what this huge change will be. I guess we’ll see, won’t we? I think we’re eating, so I’m going to go. January 8, 2007 Our first day back. I’m so happy. I’m just about falling asleep right now, though. Eh, the first day back’s always kind of hard. No one is fully awake. I think I’m the only person who slept last night. Everyone kept telling me they couldn’t sleep. The best part of my day was in band. Mr. Roberts grew a beard. We were quite amused. The first thing Ashley asked me was, “Have you seen him?” I hadn’t, so she pointed to the front of the band room. I burst out laughing. He looked like a lumberjack. I also almost cracked up when he was close to us and trying to identify whose music had been dropped. That would screw my resolution of being more respectful of Roberts. The beard looks goofy, though. It was also good to be back in Latin. I’ve missed Toner and Garrett. I did the future perfect tense on the board and then we translated a passage. We actually got to the end of the first paragraph in a half-hour. Toner was the first to get off focus, as usual. Part of me suspects that most of the time he’s just showing off, because he’s never this way in band. Today Garrett and I were discussing his social standing. (You know, I think we may tease him a little much.) Garrett said that he would go around to every freshman and see how many knew him. “Gwen thinks your a good person,” I said to Toner, naming our freshman friend in Speech. “Who the hell’s Gwen?” he asked, looking confused. “She knows you!” I answered. “You know, Gwen who has highlights in her hair?” Apparently he doesn’t know Gwen. So, yeah, that’s pretty much how my day went. Now, I’m off to do other stuff. ‘Bye. January 10, 2007 Today’s Dad’s birthday. He’s reached the ripe old age of fifty-three. Old guy. Well, younger than my grandfather, I guess. “Old” is actually really subjective. People get to be sixty and claim they’re not old yet. I had just about the worst fight with Dad last night. It started out so stupid. It was my driving, really. I accidentally pulled out after a stop sign when there was a car coming and he totally flipped out. So, therefore, he was already annoyed at me when we got to where we were going, which was the music place to get my piano score. Anyway, I had forgotten the composer’s name, so I gave the title of the piece and how I thought the composer’s name was spelled. No big deal, right? Wrong. Dad went nuts. He said all this horrible stuff about how I was awful with details and a bunch of crap like that. I tried to stay cool and just shoot back responses, but he just kept yelling. He drove me to tears. It made me so upset because I’ve been trying so hard not to be like this, and he wouldn’t just acknowledge it as a mistake and move on. I called him a bunch of stuff, including harsh and unnecessary and everything on that order. Finally, he ordered me up to Michael’s room to get the piece of music so he could look at the composer’s name. Mom caught me, but I couldn’t talk at all through my tears. Finally, we all argued for awhile upstairs in Michael’s room, after Dad came up. I haven’t said those kind of things to them in forever. Really. I actually don’t think I ever have had the freedom to call them whatever came to mind. All the oldest stuff came up, stuff we haven’t argued about in forever, stuff like Cam. He said that Cam had wanted me to be his girlfriend, so they had made me stop hanging out with him. (Yeah, and what if I was cool with being his girlfriend back then, huh?) That pissed me off, partly because they were totally right. “How do you know we never talked about that?” I raged at Dad. In a way, we had, back in about eighth grade. People were constantly asking us if we were going out, so we decided it would defeat the purpose if we did go out. We weren’t going to give those Tappan assholes the satisfaction. It ended with Mom working it out. She made me apologize to Dad for not being prepared. Dad actually apologized for being a harsh prick. I flatly refused to give him a hug, though. I was freaking pissed off. Quite frankly, I would have rather punched him. I was worn out for the rest of the night and fell asleep in front of the TV about eight. I dragged myself up to bed, took out my contacts, and fell instantly asleep. Nine hours of sleep, which was good. I felt much better today. It was our worst fight in a really long time. Today was better. I found out yesterday in English that I got 96% on my paper that I wrote for Mr. Wilson, the one about Dr. Lanyon. That was great. It made me feel good, because I got the same grade as Paul. Man, I owe Paul a lot. He helped me so much. Today, we saw three interpretations of the book we’re reading. The first one was obnoxious and going nowhere, so I said so. Mr. Wilson himself once told us that he was wondering what drugs they were on when they wrote it. The second and third were better, so I wrote that. English is so awesome. We got a student teacher a few days ago. The problem is, Nick keeps making jokes about her and making me laugh. On the first day, he took one look at her and whispered to me, “That’s Mr. Wilson’s ‘ho.” I lost it. Now I can hardly look at her without remembering Nick’s little comment. He’s a good guy, even though I’ve heard from tons of people that he used to smoke a lot of weed. He’s all about living life to the fullest and not being held back by the status quo. Well, the water polo team does weird things to you. In Speech we’re now doing debate. I have the nicest group ever. I’m almost going to be sorry to debate against them, because they’re the coolest people in the world. Lucky for me, I got Giancarlos, a friend of Lisa and mine who we love to tease. Nice South American guy. We’re doing gay rights. I have no idea how I feel about that yet, since it doesn’t affect me. I was raised in a Catholic family that says they shouldn’t be recognized as a marriage, but I don’t know if I agree yet. I’ve decided I’m not going to be Republican just because my parents are right-wing, because that’s not a true belief system. Mr. Fox hates that, too. He says people should look at how they really feel, not what their parents say. I think I’m going to miss him. He’s taught me about a lot having to do with the media. Part of me thinks he’s fairly conservative himself. We had a sub in Latin, the first one since I palled up with Toner and Garrett. It wasn’t nearly as fun as last time, but she was kind of nice. She at least went to Huron, anyway. She played saxophone in the band for Mr. Roberts. I was talking to her for awhile. We got no work done, as usual. At one point Toner walked up and rested his arms on my shoulders. I rolled my eyes and said, “I seem to have a freshman stuck on me.” Toner really reminds me of Cam sometimes. Just a little more of a know-it-all. I feel sort of bad, because I know he likes me. I have to say, really not my type. I can tell, since he keeps teasing me about Luis. Man, I’m never going to hear the end of that one. Okay, I need to go to bed. I’m going to go. ‘Bye. January 11, 2007 Not that bad a day today. Mr. Julius was gone again today. The weird thing was that his sub didn’t show. I was walking from band up to Latin, and I saw the class congregated around the door. I knew something was up, since Mr. Julius is never, ever late. The TA came by and said that Mr. Julius was gone and had been for the past two hours, so we should just go home. I guess the sub hadn’t shown for those hours, too. So, anyway, the class went its separate ways. The Asian chicks who are friends of Garrett’s went to the library to work on homework. I thought that we’d catch Toner on the way to the cafeteria, where Garrett and I decided to go, since that’s the place sub-less classes are supposed to go. We did see him and I yelled, “Hey, cafeteria!” at him, but he didn’t hear or something. I was about to reach out and grab his backpack and pull him along with us, but Garrett stopped me for some reason. The rest of the class had gone away, so it was us two on our own in the cafeteria. We were a bit bored. Neither of us had cards or anything, so we were reduced to playing games on Garrett’s graphing calculator. The first game was called Bomber Kids or some such thing. I was bad at first. Took me awhile to get the controls right. Also, I kept blowing myself up. I finally won one when Garrett blew himself up. I was cracking up at how bad I was. We played a few more games on the calculator until the bell. Man, it turned out to be a fun period. It reminded me of the twenty-first of September, that great day in Latin that I figured out I was going to be okay. That was the best part of the day. I was kind of disappointed that we couldn’t find Toner, because I wanted to talk to him about Roberts’ latest outburst. He totally lost it today in band. It was almost frightening, really. For the most part, it had been a totally normal band hour. We started a new song, “The Saint and the City”. It has to do with St. Michael and how he saved some mythical city from a dragon. We were playing for awhile, with me making sure not to say much to Matt Stern, because I’ll be the first to be blamed. It was easier for me to be quiet, because Ashley was gone today. I was making sure to look him straight in the eye and nod at everything he said and all that good stuff. Suddenly, near the end of the hour, Danny Semaan (our resident loudmouth), started talking. “Danny,” MacArthur said sharply, interrupting Mr. Roberts’ musical advice to the low brass. “He’s talking up there!” Roberts stopped and looked questioningly at MacArthur. “He’s talking!” said MacArthur, pointing an accusatory finger at Danny. Tattletale, I couldn’t help thinking, amused. However, things got unfunny very fast. Mr. Roberts sat up on the podium, wearing the look he wears before he completely flies off the handle. “Thank you, Mr. MacArthur,” he started, “because I’ve been close to losing my temper today.” That’s about the time that things went really south. He started out by saying that many of us are paying attention and we’re connecting and that’s great, but there are people who are dragging us down. His face turned bright red. I kept my face perfectly blank and prayed that I wouldn’t accidentally set him off more. “Trumpets!” he yelled, almost out of nowhere. “You need to bring up the slack, because you have let it out!” He said that it wasn’t all the trumpets in the section, just a few, mostly at the bottom of the section. “Mainly the thirds,” he added angrily. “Boy, I’m being specific today, aren’t I?” Don’t look at me, I’m a second, I thought to myself. It took me awhile to convince myself that I wasn’t the problem here, because I’m so used to being yelled at on the trumpets’ behalf. Come on, Mr. Roberts, I begged. I went back. I apologized. Please don’t single me out. Turns out he never did, thankfully. He just went on to say that there are people in Varsity Band who would love their spot, and he used this one girl who’s a freshman French horn player as an example. (Yet another problem I have with Roberts. Does he not get that people hate to be used as examples?) He said that she’s pretty much the hardest worker and he would take her for Symphony Band right now. I felt so incredibly sorry for her. It was uncalled for. He loves to single people out, that guy. Then the bell rang and it was over. Everyone hightailed it out of there. That’s band for you these days. Now, I need to go cram for my Geometry packet, because in the end, I have no work ethic. I should also study. Big test tomorrow. January 12, 2007 I got just about the best news today. FUZZ IS COMING HOME ON SUNDAY!! I got the news while I was in the library. I thought I felt my cell buzz, so I pulled it out and it said that I had missed one call from Amy. I was a little surprised, since she was supposed to be at the Martin Luther King assembly at that time. I debated for a minute, then called her back. She told me in a whisper what was going on. I wanted to freak out right there in the library, but the librarian is a bitch so no such luck. I saw Amy after band. We took one look at each other and then we grabbed each other in a fierce hug. I’m sure we looked mentally unstable or something to the people coming by. I am so happy. Fuzz belongs with us and that’s the end of it. I don’t think he’ll be graduating with us, though, because Amy once told me that he had to repeat part of ninth grade. I don’t care, really. I just want him here. Today was really a very interesting day. It was assembly schedule, so I had no one to hang out with during lunch. I had B lunch and all my friends have A or C. I hung out in the library during lunch (and that’s when I got the phone call) and read The Rise and Fall of the American Teenager. I really can’t decide whether I like it or not yet. I kind of like the guy who wrote it, because he’s really got a hold on how teenagers think. His main message is that teenagers are what we’ve made them, so stop bitching. It was thirty-five minutes for every class but fourth hour, which was over an hour. This was really okay, except that we had to take a test first hour. It was actually really easy. I did all the extra credit I could remember, since Mr. Kim omitted some stuff. He said that if we did the stuff he had cut out, we would get extra credit. I went for it and I think I did really well. In English Mr. Wilson was kind of mad. He told us that the quizzes we took a few days ago were the worst that he had seen yet from us. He wrote the top five grades on the board and said that everyone who was not those people had to do vocabulary. I wasn’t on it, but Mr. Wilson ended up excusing me because I got 93%, which is pretty damn good. I ended up doing the vocab anyway, since Nick said I would get extra credit. He got a haircut, actually. Paul didn’t even recognize him. It was hilarious. The assembly was not really that enjoyable. There was not one white person on that stage. There were a million poems and no one really read them with feeling or anything. Only about half of Mr. Drake’s Earth Science class showed up, anyway. I think Mr. Drake was really enjoying it, because our class has serious behavioral problems. The ones that showed were the people who actually kind of care, so he didn’t have to deal with the usual dumbasses. They didn’t even show up for Mr. Drake’s class. We have a really big class, and there were about twelve people total who showed up. We did a lab, a computer-generated one. It was kind of confusing, so it was good Mr. Drake had more time to help us. I finished, so I don’t have any homework but the book questions. After that we went back to the classroom and we all watched Bill Nye the Science Guy. Man, that’s a good class. We didn’t play in band, since Mr. Roberts deemed thirty-five minutes too short to get anything done. We covered what he called “verbal business”, with stuff for Solo and Ensemble and the trip. He handed out a piece of paper a little later. We have to measure and weigh our instruments for recording purposes. There was a space for Instrument’s Name on the paper. “So, Claire, do you know any of this?” asked Matt. “Yeah,” I said, scanning the paper. “’Instrument’s Name: Floyd’.” Matt and Ashley cracked up. We spent some time thinking up over-the-top names for our trumpets, such as Sir Drake the Third and such. I have to find the serial number, the height, the width, and the length for my trumpet. That should be tedious, to use one of Mr. Wilson’s easy vocabulary words. Latin was as much as can be expected in thirty-five minutes. Toner developed a theory that Garrett and I went to the cafeteria to make out or something. I know that’s one that we’ll be hearing about for awhile. He ended up going to the library. Mr. Julius came back today. He’s been sick for a few days. We did review of relative pronouns and translation of the worksheet that we barely did while the sub was here. He wasn’t at all mad that we got nothing done. Good guy, Mr. Julius. And now I’m here. Quite the interesting day, wasn’t it? We get a long weekend on account of MLK day, observed. Eh, I’m going to be bored. I’m out of here. ‘Bye. January 13, 2007 In less than twenty-four hours, Fuzz will be home. I’m so happy, but I got some really bad news. Fuzz and his mom are staying at a homeless shelter! It’s only until they get the house, but still! The one good thing that comes out of that is that it’s a guarantee he’s coming home, because Mrs. Dennis can’t get into the shelter without him. I hope it’s not for too long. If there’s one guy that doesn’t deserve that, it’s Fuzz. I’m talking to Anne about Amy’s birthday party. It’s this coming Friday. Anne’s a bit nervous. I can sort of see why. I was, too, truth be told. I got some of the best friends a person can get out of that party, but I was kind of nervous because I didn’t know the Claugies that well yet. Well, I knew Fuzz, sort of. Ha, I remember how we met. The first thing I ever said to Fuzz was, “Cookie?”, because I was offering them around. The first thing Fuzz said to me was, “No thanks. I don’t like chocolate.” At that party, I ate all the orange M&M’s and he ate all the red ones. Amy ate the greens. We played foosball and eventually ended up on the couch together watching Next, that really dumb MTV show. I slept over at Amy’s that night. Man, we had fun. I was just describing my odd dream of a couple nights ago to Anne. It had to do with me driving. I was driving down the road (with Dad in the passenger’s seat) and there was a blue car right in front of us but a little ahead. The driver was none other than Luis. For some reason we were trying to follow him. We went down the road and there was a toll booth right ahead of us. They let him through, but for some reason they wouldn’t let me through. I think it was because it was the toll booth into Canada and I only had American money, or the other way around. Either way, I lost him and I was a bit pissed off. The first thing I thought when I woke up was, “Oh boy. He’s starting to walk in my dreams again.” Ugh. I have issues or something. The creepy thing was that there was a blue Volvo exactly like the one I saw in the dream in front of us on the way to school. I had a minor fight with Michael today on the way back from Jimmy John’s. I asked him if it was Saturday, and he said it was. “Yes!” I cheered. “Why?” he asked suspiciously. “Fuzz gets back tomorrow,” I explained. Michael made an exasperated noise. “You’re gonna be going back to hanging out with that clown again?” I was stung. Fuzz is not a clown! We talked about it on the way home. He said that Fuzz never seemed quite right and he probably had AIDS or something now that he was coming from Chicago. I told him that Fuzz had been living with his rich aunt in Chicago, not the projects. We somehow got to the reason they had been evicted. He said that his mom had probably had her head up her ass and had started that fire. I just wanted to kill him. The way it’s always been is, an insult on my friend is an insult on me. Especially on Fuzz. He was real smug, judging a guy and a family he’s never even met. He’s so full of himself. Anyone who isn’t exactly like him has “problems”. Whatever. I’m going to go. January 14, 2007 Well, Fuzz is home (I’m guessing), but we haven’t seen him yet. Amy and I decided that we’re going to go to the mall tomorrow and all hang out. That should be good. I’ve never been to the mall with friends before. Usually I have to go with Mom or something. I don’t want to seem like I’m insecure, but it’s not my favorite thing to be seen in public with my mommy. Dad’s okay, but I don’t like going with Mom. This morning I woke up at about six-thirty and I couldn’t sleep. I was listening to the radio for about two hours, because it was the top one hundred songs in the country, and they had some good stuff. I think I drifted off, because before I knew it, Mom was waking me up for church. That was a real bummer. I need to get more sleep. Well, tomorrow is MLK day, so I should be able to sleep then. Why do I like Dr. Martin Luther King? He gave me a day to sleep in. The best answer of all. Dad and I went driving today. We went out to Dexter today and then on the highway. I broke eighty today. It was on purpose. Dad was telling me to pass, so I tried to get past eighty. That’s the fastest I’ve ever gone. I don’t actually like highway driving that much. There’s really not much to it, you just kind of drive in a straight line and follow weird signs. I prefer city driving way more. There are more sights to look at. Well, there’s not much else to say. I’m getting out of here. ‘Bye. January 15, 2007 I just had the best day in the world. I saw Fuzz for the first time in seven months. We went to the mall as planned at about one. Well, first I woke up and took a shower (after making pancakes for everyone). While I was in the shower, Amy called me. I called her back and she told me to get to the mall, because they were picking up Fuzz right then. I finished getting ready and got a ride to the mall. Amy called me while I was waiting and said that they would be there soon. So, therefore, I stood at the front of the mall waiting and going freaking insano. Finally, right when I thought I was going to go nuts, Amy stepped out the right passenger’s side of a car that had just pulled up. Fuzz stepped out of the left, a huge smile on his face. An unearthly screech came out of me. “Fuzz!” I pretty much screamed, rushing over to him like an idiot. We hugged for a long time tightly. I heard a bunch of guys laughing, but for once I didn’t care. They were of the stupid-ghetto variety, anyway. “You are never leaving again!” I said, nearly crying, my voice muffled by his big coat. “No, I’m here for good now,” he answered me, almost in tears himself. We sort of group hugged, then went into the mall. It was so much fun. We did pretty much everything. Once I get my license, we are going to the mall a lot more. We did a funny group photo of us in one of those photo booth things. That was fun, especially since it was only meant for two people. Then we went and looked around the stores. They kept bringing up stuff that they thought would look “hot” on me. I not-so-respectfully disagreed. They got me into one sweater, but it wasn’t so good on me. It’s so good to have Fuzz back. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until he was back. January 18, 2007 Okay, quite a lot has happened in the last three days. First, our power went out because of a killer ice storm that hit Michigan. We’ve been out of power since the sixteenth. It’s been, well, cold. The heat went with the power. I haven’t been this warm in days. Next. Amy got appendicitis! She went to the ER yesterday. I was really worried, but she’s going to be okay from what she tells me. They might not even have to take it out. She wants me to tell the Fairy March that she’s in the hospital. I’ve never approached the dude in my life, but hey. I’ll give it a shot. He can’t be horrible, because Amy fell in love with him, right? I’m going to tell him tomorrow. He’s the one person I missed out when I was screaming it coast to coast that Amy went to the hospital. I did my debate today. We actually did okay for the group that had to go first. And, on the bright side, no more speeches! I can go straight into Western Civ. now. I won’t miss it, although I think I’m going to miss Mr. Fox. Funny, since I remember writing on the first day that he was the most sinfully boring person I had ever met in all my born days. Sure, he’s a little dull, but he’s a cool guy. He’s taught me a lot about the power of the media lately. I’m never going to believe the media again. Seriously. Yesterday, I did my band final. Well, half of it anyway. The scale test. It actually wasn’t bad. I got totally blindsided, because I thought that Zach was going, so I was all wishing him good luck and all that and he looks at me and says, “I’m not playing today.” Then, I hear Mr. Roberts say, “Okay, Claire, you’re next.” I was totally shaking, but I did it. Of course, he did slur-two-tounge-two, which is an awful pattern and I’m horrible at it. I couldn’t believe I did as well as I did. After that, I went to Latin, which is usually the best hour of the day. We were doing pronouns and interrogative adjectives. I have no idea how we got on the subject, but somehow we were talking about being married or getting married or something, me, Garrett, and Toner, as usual. During the conversation, Garrett came almost out of nowhere with, “He wants you to marry him.” He nodded at Toner. I stared at Garrett. So it’s not just me, then? I wanted to ask. “He’s smiling!” Garrett declared. I guess it’s not just me. “He is secretly crushing on you big time,” he told me later. “It’s not the first time I’ve heard it,” I said to that, just to shut Garrett up. I know it’s true, though. Something tells me that he knows Garrett’s the one I’m really after. I told them yesterday that Fuzz was back, just to see what they would say to me having a friend named Fuzz. “Who’s Fuzz?” asked Garrett. “My boyfriend,” I answered, completely joking. Garrett fixed me with a stare. “Boyfriend, huh?” he said. He looked from side to side in a shifty fashion. “Does Michael know about this?” I had to roll my eyes and assure them that I was joking. “I would never date Fuzz,” I said. “He’s my friend.” Interestingly enough, now I know for sure how Toner feels. He’s got no shot, but I’m quite flattered. I decided that unless he tells me himself, I’m going to pretend like Garrett didn’t say a thing (although it is obvious, as he pointed out today). Since finals are soon, I think I’m going to go do my packets or some such thing. ‘Bye. January 20, 2007 Well, it’s another Saturday here in Ann Arbor. I finished my band final yesterday, with the arpeggios. If I say so myself, I did pretty good. And, as Toner asked me, I really do feel better now that one of my finals is out of the way. I owe Mr. Fox my life, because now I’m not as nervous performing in front of people. Amy’s birthday party was last night. It was actually pretty fun. Also, it was nearly a whole new set of people this year. Last year it was mostly guys. This year it was all girls except for Luke and Cam. I got to see Amy’s other friends this time around. I really don’t know what to make of them. They’re not bad people, but they’re very... sexually immersed. They talked about sex for like an hour, so I got the hell out of there and talked with Cam, Anne, Christy, Luke, and Karen. I’m actually kind of glad that I have some Christian friends this year. I wonder what would happen to me if I didn’t. In other news, Aunt Moe is coming over today. She’s going to help our grandparents move into their new condo. This is going to sound awful, but I’m kind of glad they’re leaving. I want my bathroom back. Also, I like not having any adults around after school. Makes me feel like I’m at least kind of on my own, although it’s an illusion. Anyway, I’m glad she’s coming over. She and Uncle Mike are so cool and it really sucks that Uncle Mike couldn’t make it. I know for sure that he’s Michael’s favorite uncle (with them both being Michael Beaulieu and all). One day a few summers ago, Michael told me that I have to name a son of mine Michael, too. Truth be told, I had made that plan myself when I was about seven or so. My first son is going to be named Michael, and my husband can go to hell if he doesn’t like it. Finals start for us on Tuesday. This year, they changed up the whole schedule. On Tuesday, we only have our first hour final then all the rest of our classes, thirty-five minutes each. The next day it’s second and third hours, then the next day fourth and fifth, and so on. I say it’s retarded that they would separate first hour, not seventh hour, since everyone has a first hour but not everyone has a seventh hour. I got all my math packets done. Mr. Kim gave us three. Three! One for normal math, one for compass constructions, and one for proofs. Christy and I took turns complaining about it on Friday. I’m going to do the extra credit, too, because it turns out that I have an A-, and that doesn’t cut it lately. My grades are actually going to be pretty good this semester. I’m going to have an A in English, Geometry (hopefully), band (also hopefully), and Latin, maybe. Mr. Julius might bump me up to an A- from my current B+ if he decides I’ve improved. Well, I got 105% on my noun endings F.L.A.I., so maybe. I told Mr. Julius that if he’s ever in the neighborhood, ask Mr. Vogel to tell the story about how I wouldn’t learn my noun endings. It’s amazing I got out of that class with a B. I don’t know what to do. Saturdays are boring. January 21, 2007 Today is Amy’s birthday. She’s sixteen and luckier than I. I sent her the compulsory birthday IM message. I’m not really sure if I should call her, because of what happened with us last night. We got into kind of a bad fight. It started out really stupid. We were online and she was idle, so I didn’t IM her. When she came back she asked why I hadn’t IMed her, and I told her why. Then (and I was totally joking around), I added, “No, I straight-up have something against you.” I couldn’t believe what she typed back. “No, but you like Cam better.” And that set it off. She wouldn’t believe me that I like her more, she being my best friend and all that. It was stupid! She got so mad. One of the questions she threw at me was the ever-present, “Why can’t we ever hang out with my friends?” I gave her the truth, that I just don’t feel comfortable around them and at least she feels comfortable around mine. Now, Amy took that all wrong. She took it as me judging her friends or saying that there was something wrong with them. Oi, it was bad. I really don’t know when it ended. In the end, I had to give her the real answer, which is that I’m really bad at being social. I asked her if she remembered what I was like in the beginning of our freshmen year together. She said she really didn’t, so I filled her in. I was so quiet. If no one talked to me, I wouldn’t talk to them. Tappan messed me up, because it made me think that all people in my age group were total assholes, with the exception of Cam. Then I had to reveal the real truth, and one of my biggest secrets, that I chose to change. And why I chose to change. It was right about December, and Luis had just left. Somehow, I came to the conclusion that if I couldn’t make him care enough to stay with me, then there was obviously something very wrong with me. So, I changed. I became the epitome of the loudmouth freshman and talked to just about any person that had the power of speech. I laughed too loud with my friends and pretty much became the person I am today. So, I revealed my biggest secret to Amy. I’m not as great with people as everyone thinks I am. I changed because I was really sad. I think the fight ended when I said that having Cam as my best friend would be worse than having Toner as my best friend. Amy said that maybe he would change for me as I did for Luis. I said that I would feel sorry for him if I was his Luis, although somehow I think I’m on the fast track to there. In the end we cut a deal. Lunch with her friends, once a month. I knew that it was a fair deal, and more towards my side. I think I’m going to be okay with that. I just know that once Fuzz gets here for good, we’re going to be okay. It occurred to me that this must be what it’s like to be married. In the end, you have to come up with a compromise. Today, I was really busy. I actually did some of Mr. Kim’s extra credit assignment in the basement, since Aunt Moe is now occupying my room. It’s... kind of a lot. Half the stuff I couldn’t even remember. I had to kind of figure it out all on my own or looking at the glossary. It reminds me why I hate math so much. Geometry is okay, for math at least, but I will always hate any kind of math. Maybe I’ll go do some more, soon. January 22, 2007 Finals start tomorrow, at least the first hour one does. I think I’m going to be okay, overall. Last year I was actually nervous, (plus I got a C- so that works out) but this year I’m fine. I wish I were doing English and Geometry on the same day. The schedule is stupid this year. My day was actually not the best. Dad woke me up at six-fifteen and pain instantly gripped me. It was a really bad stomach ache, on my lower belly. I got up, almost doubled over with pain, and got into the shower. I did not feel good. Once I got out, I figured it was just gas so I went on like normal. But once I got downstairs, I had to lay down. Then (embarrassingly enough), the diarrhea started. Mom let me stay home and rest on the couch. I read Ender’s Shadow and tried not to go to sleep. My contacts were already in. I did drop off at about nine and woke up at quarter to ten. I ended up going to school. I will always want to go to school. Most of all, I didn’t want to miss band. We have to go to band on the day of fifth hour final, which is stupid. We had fun, even though I felt like crap, no pun intended. Mr. Julius gave us a sort of free day today. He said to do whatever we thought was productive, study or do otherwise. I didn’t, actually, because I didn’t feel so good. I talked to two freshmen who came from Tappan. For Tappan types, they were really nice. They said they had a hard time with Latin. I said I could help them anytime, which is the least I can do for my Tappan kin. I was feeling better by the end of sixth hour. After that, I went home and practiced with my accompanist. She’s really nice. Her name is Susan Wagner. Nicest lady in the world. Very positive. I did okay, I guess. I need work on my rhythms. Afterwards, we were talking about her dog, Gizmo, and how he’s afraid of big cases. “Like tuba players,” Susan said. “For example, do you know Michael Toner?” I howled with laughter. “I love him,” I said. She went off on a thing about how his musicianship is so good and he’s so amazing. According to her, she’s just about in love with Toner. “He’s my freshman,” I said proudly. “Oh? Do sophomores sponsor freshmen?” I grinned sheepishly. “Unofficially.” I’ve come to an interesting conclusion. Toner is always one of those people that is pretty much universally loved by adults, but kids will almost always hate him for how successful he is at everything. In fact, I think I’m one of the only people in that Latin class that’s shown him any kind of kindness at all. Garrett doesn’t even like him all that much. Okay, studying time. ‘Bye. January 23, 2007 One final down, four to go. I’m feeling a lot better today, fortunately. At least I’m not spewing from any end. Okay, yeah, that was gross. Today was actually okay, for the start of finals. The test was actually hard. Well, medium-hard. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but it was a lot. I finally finished the damn extra credit last night. Christy made a huge joke with Mr. Kim about how I had gotten sick right after I did the extra credit, so it was therefore his fault. In fact, the first thing Mr. Kim said to me when I walked in the door was, “Did so much extra credit you got sick, huh?” I nodded, grinning impishly. “Yeah, Mr. Kim. Your extra credit made me physically ill.” He chuckled. About halfway through the final (during a part of the test with the distance formula, incidentally), something odd happened. This huge wave of nausea just swept over me. I had to close my eyes and stop doing Geometry for a second. I knew I had to finish the final before going to the nurse, but I was sure I was about to hurl all over my Geometry final. Then I thought, “Hey! I can’t throw up! I haven’t eaten anything.” One of the few cases where not eating breakfast saved my life. We had shortened classes for the rest of the day. In English, we watched the end of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and got our binders checked. I was a little disappointed with my grade. I got 83%. But, as I was saying to Nick, I would have gone down to 90% if I had gotten zero on it, so I still have an A. It was because I had forgotten my study guides. Paul was outright pissed at his grade. 90%. Go figure. He actually got into a thing with Mr. Wilson about it. He got it back and looked at his grade. He got ticked. He went off on a rant about how there was absolutely nothing wrong or incomplete about his binder. Mr. Wilson took him into the hall and I heard him say, “If you want to talk to me, talk to me, not them.” “Them” being Nick and myself. We watched them go at it out in the hall. “Mr. Wilson probably thinks Paul’s such a rebel now,” I muttered to Nick, who laughed. As I watched them discuss, I realized for the first time that Paul is actually pretty flawed. He’s not really the good student who gets good grades that a lot of teachers think he is. I have to say, he dislikes some weird teachers for some weird reasons. He outright hates Wilson. I don’t know why. I happen to think Mr. Wilson’s pretty great. He’s a hard grader, but Michael was right about him. He’s a good guy and a better teacher. I just hope he doesn’t judge me or anything for being friends with Paul and Nick, because I don’t think like they do. The last day of Speech was fun. Mr. Fox split us up into a boys’ side and a girls’ side, and we played a game. His final is tomorrow, but I think I’ll do okay. I’ve got communication down, even though those were the days I used to talk to Hurley during Speech. I’m going to miss Speech. It was fun, even though it was annoying at times. Mr. Fox is my third-wisest teacher and he actually has something to give. I’m going to miss Lisa, Giancarlos, Gwen, and all the rest of my Speech friends. Ah, required classes. In Earth Science we worked on review questions. Mr. Drake has a pretty cool system. We do all the questions for fifty points and we can use whatever we write on the test. I love Mr. Drake. Today I worked with Samantha and Arthur, who both crack me up. “Okay,” Samantha said. “What’s a benchmark?” “A mark on a bench!” I said, cracking up (I could not stop laughing today for some reason). Mr. Drake walked by and gave me a thumbs-up. “Good answer,” he said sarcastically. “So, Mr. Drake, if I put a line on that chair, would it be a benchmark?” I asked. “No, of course not,” he answered. “That’s a chair, not a bench.” In band we played “The Saint and the City”. Roberts sent the low brass out to work with MacArthur. The lower trumpets almost got into trouble again today (no surprise). Part of me wonders if we were that stupid. The sad part is that most of them are sophomores, all save Peter Dalack. I think he’s okay with Ashley, Blake, Caleb, and I these days, because we’re actually good trumpet players and we pay attention, since he split us up. We did nothing in Latin. Garrett, Toner, and I talked to Mr. Julius. He was telling us about how his brother and his son wrote books. I was really impressed, since his son Patrick is younger than David. Mr. Julius is very interesting. One of the reasons I really like him is that he speaks to you as an equal, not as a stupid high schooler. I think that he would be the first teacher I would go to if I was in some kind of school-related trouble. Hell, I have respect for any teacher who has to teach Toner. Smart kid, but he has some immaturity to grow out of. Our trumpet quartet practiced after school. We’re doing really good. I like those guys a lot and they’re really fun. Sometimes it feels like I don’t really belong with them, since they bonded while I was being last chair. I never noticed before this year (stupidly, since I’ve known the guy for almost three and a half years), but Blake is really a genuinely nice guy. Our only problem, as Ashley was telling me, is that we stop to correct a mistake and end up talking about something totally different for a long time. I’ve been studying like crazy for hours. This can’t be healthy. I’ve got to stop stressing out, because these tests aren’t all that hard for me. ‘Bye. January 24, 2007 Three down, two to go. It’s about two right now and I’m burnt out. Last year, the thing with the Walrus kind of put finals in the background, but now I’m single and stressed out. Today it was English and Speech. English was actually really easy. I was prepared for something really hard. I swear, Mr. Wilson didn’t take it all that seriously either. For five or six of his questions, the final answer was a joke. For example: What is Tedious? a. new b. exciting c. redundant and tiresome d. to tie in a knot e. an evil teddy bear Half the questions were like that. It was great. I was cracking up for a lot of the exam. Mr. Wilson is a funny guy. This was another one. The best part of this class is: a. Mr. Wilson’s dazzling smile b. Mr. Wilson’s witty personality c. Mr. Wilson is so suave d. It is half over e. All of the above just because I want credit for this question I picked E. Better safe than sorry, as they say. I’m sure Paul picked D. I actually think I did pretty good. And, for the record, Mr. Wilson is not suave. We were done in about forty-five minutes and we just talked for the rest of the hour. Man, I’m glad I got the class I got. Then it was Speech. It was actually a fun last class. I gave everyone a hug. We took the communication test, which was easy. Then Mr. Fox dropped the bomb. We had to make a last speech. Mr. Fox made us get onstage and told us to talk for a minute about whatever topic he gave us. He made me do a speech about getting over stage fright (predictably). It was actually kind of nerve-racking. I said that the way you get over stage fright was to find a really mean teacher that keeps putting you in front of audiences and to make a perfect ass of yourself. Mr. Fox laughed. I kept going and made fun of Mr. Fox’s bookwork and everything, then got off the stage. It was fun, kind of. Mr. Fox pretty much gave everybody a topic related to how he knows them. I’m really going to miss Mr. Fox. I owe that guy a lot. So, finals are over for the day. Tomorrow I’ve got Earth Science, which will be my hardest final. After that is band, which I’ve already done, so he’ll probably just rehearse us for two hours and fifteen minutes. Two hours and fifteen minutes with Mr. Roberts. Joy. I know we’re going to get in trouble. Oh! How could I have forgotten this? Amy might be moving away to Washington D.C.! The place where her dad works is laying off an insane number of jobs, so he applied for a job out in Washington D.C. (insanely far away). I’m really hoping Mr. Holler doesn’t get that job. Amy belongs with us. If she leaves, who do I have? No one else knows my secrets. So, on that note, I’m out of here. January 25, 2006 Only one last final to do, and I’m done studying for the most part. The last final is Latin and I think I’ll do good on that. Last night was really hard for me. I did a last minute scramble to finish Mr. Drake’s review questions and burned myself out. Interestingly enough, it took me awhile to get to sleep last night. Today was actually not easy, either. It was fourth and fifth hours today, which means it was Mr. Drake’s Final From Hell. It was exactly out of my worst nightmare. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but it would have been a hell of a lot worse if I hadn’t studied. It was just... a lot. It was like seven pages front and back with questions that all required some sort of thought process. I was the first done (I have no idea how), but it wasn’t easy. There were more than two hundred questions, so we had to go get another scantron. The whole time Mr. Drake just sat there and graded while we took his murderous test. I hardly remember it. I just remember that it was boring and I wanted it done. On the way to the pencil sharpener, I passed Hurley. We exchanged “Damn! This is hard!” looks. He mimed choking himself. I nodded and kept working. Then it was two hours and fifteen minutes with the band. We got to go out to the uniform room with MacArthur for about an hour. That was... quite interesting. Somehow we got him off on a huge tangent about Aida, which is “beautiful” in his words. I had to force myself not to look at anyone else, because I knew I would lose it fast if I did. Oh, and Cam highlighted my day. People had been showing up late to band and, needless to say, Roberts was PO’d. After a short, unfriendly lecture we started playing. Someone else showed up late and he gave a more specific and even less friendly lecture. Then suddenly we hear a large crash from the percussion section. Noticing everyone else was standing up, I thought, “Oh, crap. That’s Cam.” Apparently he was running and ran straight into an open case, doing a perfect faceplant in front of Concert Band. I think it’s Cam’s greatest moment to date. Tomorrow, after finals are done, I’m going to go see a movie with those guys. It should be fun. We’re probably going to go see Epic Movie. Honestly, I doubt it has a plot, because usually they spend so much time making fun of movies that they forget to write a story to go with it. January 26, 2007 Finals are all over! I am happier than I ever have been about this. The tests were hard this year. I think I’m getting sick, though. I feel all chilly and I have this huge headache. Dad said I had a fever. Everyone else is over at the condo unpacking. I just got back from the movie with Cam, Anne, Karen, Christy, and a friend of Christy’s that went to Tappan. Hopefully I can sort of keep this from Amy, because she would be really hurt if she found out that we all went to the movies without her. I mean, she’s already accusing me of liking Cam more. I realized today, I really don’t. Cam was acting like a freaking six-year-old during the movies. Every single time he laughed it was too loud and it was at the dumbest things. Quite frankly, I was embarrassed to be with him. It was especially bad because Matt Stern and his friends were in the same movie as us. They know me. You know, this is the real reason that I’m not all that popular. I won’t ditch Cam. I know that Matt probably won’t judge, since he already knows me, but Cam’s an embarrassing guy. Today feels like a Saturday or something. We got out at ten, so that’s probably why. My last final was Latin. It was actually kind of hard. Mr. Julius’s sight passage was the worst. I already knew the other two stories. They were the passages that we were supposed to be translating while we were talking or something. Good thing we actually did get to translate at a few points in the semester, otherwise all three of us would have failed. I might go lay down or something, because I’m really not feeling all that great. January 28, 2007 I’m here alone, which is an interesting change. Our grandparents moved out to their own place. Aunt Mo left this morning. Dad and Michael went to Purdue, a college that’s looking at Michael. Mom and David went shopping for shoes. Therefore, I am here all alone. Hey, there are good parts. I can listen to explicit music without having to turn down the parts with the swear words. I feel a lot better. Maybe it was that twenty-four hour flu thing. Dad thought it might be the stress of finals, because stress does something to your immune system. I was supposed to be practicing with the quartet today, but Ashley told me over the phone that she can’t get ahold of Caleb or Blake, so she’s going to call me tomorrow. Last night, over an IM conversation, I told Amy something that I vowed never to tell anyone. She was kind of upset, because she really doesn’t want to move away. Yeah, join the club. We have jackets. I don’t know what I would do if she moved. We got on another subject somehow, and we were talking about whether Anne could kick my ass or not. I said she couldn’t, and that she hasn’t once beaten me. It slipped out. “Have you two gone at it?” asked Amy. I realized what I had done. “Crap,” I typed. “I never told you this, did I?” I told her my whole karate history (after preempting it with “Do NOT tell this around.”). I told her the truth, that I went to black belt and that I had gotten it in November of ninth grade. Also, that I hadn’t even quit until around early May. In a way, I’m glad I told her. I never felt right about dodging the truth when she used to bring it up. Sure, it’s embarrassing as hell, but that is one of my deepest, darkest secrets. “Except that I was nearly obsessed with Luis,” I added. “Nearly?” she typed back. “You cried at ‘You’re Beautiful’!” Amy now has everything on me. Everything. I can’t think of one thing I haven’t told Amy now. Okay, maybe the stuff with Alex and Zach, but all the other stuff, she knows. Ha, not to be ADD, but I found out that my grandfather’s middle name is Alexander. Actually, he told me that his father used to spell it the French way, Alexandre. His full name is Ernest Alexandre Beaulieu, Junior. Very French, indeed. Still, I wish I had ended up with the Irish last name, McGee. People can actually say that. Dad told me I could change it, but I don’t want it to seem like I’m giving the Beaulieus the shaft. He told me that he had thought about changing his name, because it’s a lot cooler to be Danny McGee than Danny Beaulieu. (Also, he hated my grandfather for a long time- bad relationships and a bunch of bad stuff.) Ever since my grandparents came to live with us, I’ve found out tons of stuff about my dad’s side of the family. My great-grandfather on the French side was a translator in World War One. My great-great-great uncle was a mystical healer type, whose name was Paul (I got a kick out of that). On the Irish side, my great-great grandfather came from Ireland and owned six bars in Philadelphia, got married, and died in the flu pandemic. My great-great grandmother went to the asylum for depression. Man, our family is weird. Interesting, but weird. I think I’m going to go practice or something. ‘Bye.

December 11, 2006 Hopefully Dad and I are going to go driving tonight. Also, hopefully I won’t come back in a state of complete demoralization. He seems okay, though, not too tired. It’s when he’s tired that I have to worry. Then he’s the Driving Nazi and freaking impossible to please. At school today, all the teachers went to meetings and the subs stopped showing up for some reason. Mr. Kim had time to teach us the lesson before running to his math thing, because he knew his sub wasn’t coming. We got herded down to the cafeteria, which I have not set foot into in about a year. It wasn’t that bad, actually. I got Mr. Drake’s one review question done. It actually wasn’t that hard. The sub showed up in Wilson’s class, and she was actually good. She reminded me of Mrs. Griffenhagen from Tappan. She was great and she seemed like she actually had experience. We were hoping that that ninety-year-old dude would come by, because he lets you do whatever you want. I owe a lot to that guy, like the reasons I love Latin instead of hate it these days. We watched the movie version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Strangely enough, it wasn’t at all like the book. It had too many women. There are no women in the book. We watched a movie in Speech. Mr. Fox is obsessed with subliminal advertising. It ripped on MTV a lot, saying that it was one huge commercial. They’ve actually got a point there. Also, teenagers are the main consumers these days, so that was a huge component of the movie. Mr. Fox stopped the movie a lot to explain about corporations and such, and how we have free press, but corporate controlled press. It was interesting, so I can’t wait to see the end of it. In an amazing stroke of luck, Amy found it in her heart to forgive Paul today. I couldn’t be happier. I gave them some space and talked to Cam and Anne of St. Francis a bit. It’s so good that they’re not one of those disgusting couples that you can’t talk to because they’re so wrapped up in each other. Well, technically they are, but they have separate personalities and they really do complement each other nicely. I’m so glad I introduced them. I’m probably going to be going to the Tappan concert with Cam on Wednesday, to see all of our hard work in practice club go to good use. Maybe later on we’ll go see Eragon together, because we both read that book together. It’s also good that Anne is cool with me spending time with Cam. She once said to me, “If you helped us get together, then how could you guys be that way?” I ran it by her tentatively because I went through hell with Amy and Alex, so now I know how girls can be about their boyfriends. Lucky for me Anne isn’t the jealous type. Amy accidentally scratched me today during lunch. She was trying to do that thing (which I thought died) where she tries to pull out my ponytail. It kind of annoys me, to tell the truth. Anyway, when I pulled away, her nail got my neck and made this monster lash. Well, more puffy than monster. I hated to do it, but in Earth Science I bared my neck toward the Walrus and said, “Is my neck messed up?” “No, it’s not,” he said kindly, looking at it. “There’s just a mark on it, a little.” Good to know. Of course, then I had to hear about how I got a hickey from my “secret boyfriend” for awhile. This is the kind of thing that lets me know we’re totally over each other. It’s great, really, because we’re back to being friends again. I can laugh at his jokes and we can talk again. Sometimes it seems like what happened with us was a dream or something, a passing thing nobody remembers. We talked about normal things today. He told me about how he’s going to be sixteen in exactly two months. “You’re so lucky, you’re going to be sixteen,” I said. “Why? What’re you going to be?” he asked. “I was fifteen last September,” I informed him. “I’m the second youngest in the class.” “Who’s younger than you?” “Karen Dowling,” I said, doubting that the Walrus would know her. “It’s me, Douda, then Karen.” When things seem normal with us, it makes me think. Will we ever have to formally break up? Or will it be just a given? I’m fairly certain he’s not after me anymore, and I know I don’t like him like I did. In hindsight, it’s actually really strange that things worked out this way. We always thought that it would be the Walrus and I, Amy and Paul, and Fuzz (and someone- he hasn’t had much luck). Strange days. Band was pretty normal, or as normal as band ever is on any given day. We kept quiet and didn’t kill anything. We’ve really got our music down these days. Well, this year has better music. Last year it was the dreaded “A Movement For Rosa”. It was literally about a five or six minute piece. It wasn’t so great for us punk freshmen down at the end. I screwed up a lot on that song. Plus I dropped my mute. Ashley said today, “I think that if one person drops their mute, then we all should. That would be funny to hear one mute then, like, twelve.” We laughed. Once again, I love my chair. I think Amy might call me out on something, though. So, I was leaving band and was coincidentally behind Luis. I was sort of watching him and remembering everything, and I walked straight past Amy. Didn’t even see her. Now, with any other person (except maybe Michael) I wouldn’t be worried, but Amy knows me very well. It’ll be a miracle if she didn’t see that. Troy is turning out to be a really long movie. I love it when Mr. Julius yells out if the mythology is wrong. It’s hilarious. Just out of the blue he’ll shout, “That’s wrong, you guys! That never happened.” We did vocabulary today, stuff that some author used in some book. Mr. Julius was right. I do have more vocabulary than I think I do. I’m going to be great at Latin 3 once I’m done with Latin 2. This is a great year for Latin. Now I think I’m going to go bug Dad about driving, since pretty much all my homework is done. Peace out. December 12, 2006 No practice club today, unfortunately. The Tappan concert is tomorrow, so I think they might be having a rehearsal today or something. Either way, we didn’t go today. I’ve got to remember to get that sheet from Mrs. Caudle that puts the thing under volunteer hours. Mrs. Caudle knows our family, so she should do that for me. I’m actually really enjoying doing something with Cam again. I’ve been thinking, I think I actually really missed him. It’s like I’m remembering all the stuff we did. “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves,” which Sting says in “Fields of Gold”. So, is tenth grade our west wind? I’m sorry I ever gave him up and was a prick with a chip on my shoulder. I realized a little while ago, I love Cam more than all my friends. He was my best friend all through middle school, and that counts for something. Plus, I’m not really allowed to ditch him. That’s a bit of a long story, but I’m his friend forever now. Interims came today. They’re not bad this time around. When I saw the dull brown envelope, panic seized me. I’ve been a little worried about my Speech grade, so I was kind of panicked about the grades coming. However, I probably shouldn’t have worried. Course Teacher Mark Geometry 1 Kim, N A Earth Science 1 Drake B Yeah, baby, I thought, after I ripped the envelope open. Plus, I don’t even have that grade in Earth Science anymore. It’s more like a B+ these days. Easy class, yet actually a class because it’s Mr. Drake. I know I’m probably going to do better in Chemistry because I had Mr. Drake. He’s a good guy. Plus, he loves me. Okay, this is creepy. Deskins might try to hurt Cam tomorrow. You see, his ex, Kara, is totally out to get him these days. She started dating Deskins (go figure) and she keeps telling him to tell Cam all this bad stuff and to slap him and stuff. Apparently, he’s doing it again for her. I’m probably going to get there early tomorrow and stand with them. No one hurts either of them. I’m not scared of Deskins anymore. It’s not because I have Michael, either. Maybe I’m just an idiot, but he’s not worth it. To speak the truth, I’m not afraid of people, just stupid stuff like phones and public speaking and spiders and stuff like that. Michael’s told me a million times I should be scared, because he’s the kind of guy who would rape someone, but I’m not. I’m just freaking pissed off. No one messes with my friends. Not Amy, not Cam, not Anne, not ANYONE. I’ve got to do some thinking about this. ‘Bye. December 13, 2006 It’s Anne’s birthday today. She’s fifteen. I would have gotten her a present, but she’s having a party this Saturday, so I’ll just give her something then. I don’t want to look like a bad friend, right? It was lucky for us that nothing happened with Deskins today. That probably would have been Anne’s worst birthday if he had tried something. Band was totally hilarious today. It started with Blake and Ashley, like usual. Blake was rehearsing his solo with the band and we would cheer silently. Unfortunately, he could never hear us. Thus, us lower trumpets came up with a grand idea. Ashley took out some paper and a highlighter and wrote “GO BLAKE!!!” on the paper with hearts and happy faces. When the time came for him to play, Ashley whispered, “Hey, Blake!” Blake turned around and saw the sign and cracked up. Screwed his solo, by the way. Zach jumped on the bandwagon and put “YOU CAN DO IT!!” on another piece of paper. We waved the signs and Blake laughed so hard he was physically incapable of playing his solo. Roberts didn’t figure out what was going on, really. He just kind of frowned in our general direction. Next, Mr. Roberts announced an accelerando at a part of “Gypsy Dance”. He told us to “mark it in”. I handed the pencil to Ashley for our obnoxious markings. “What should I draw?” she asked. “Draw a little guy running,” I suggested. She started to do that. Unfortunately, it came out looking like a Nazi swastika. For the rest of band, I couldn’t look at that part because I would start laughing really hard. Zach really didn’t help matters. He’s actually funny when he wants to be. We talked about hiring his brother Nick to hold signs up while Blake was doing his solo, since he’s in Varsity Band. The rest of the day was fine. I’m going to be going to the Tappan concert tonight. We’re picking up Cam in about an hour. I’m a little worried about this, because Cam and Dad have never hit it off really well. Well, the last time he saw Cam was when he was a fifteen-year-old idiot and now he’s at least a little better. Maybe he’ll be on his best behavior. Hopefully it’ll be better this time around. ‘Bye. December 15, 2006 Exactly one year ago, there was snow falling and we were out of school. It was a Thursday and a cold one. Our concert was past already. Also, I was definitely not at my happiest. I honestly can’t believe it’s been a year. A lot has happened, hasn’t it? We’re finally done with those damn analytical essays. I redid mine with Paul’s suggestions, and I owe that guy a lot. He really knows how to write a kickass paper. I was so stressed out yesterday. I had so much homework from everyone, and I actually decided to do it. Mr. Drake’s computer-generated assignment was the biggest pain the ass. Hurley copied me. Again. I wouldn’t have let him, but he did puppy dog eyes at me during Mr. Wilson’s Agree/Disagree (he asks a question, we move according to how we feel). Why the hell can’t I resist that? I had to grin and hand over the assignment. I have more than 95% in Geometry. I literally can’t believe it. It’s really a shame no one believed that I was good at Geometry, because then I would be in Mr. Vogel’s class. However, I think I might have gotten the better deal. Also, I know it’s weird, but I think I was meant to meet Garrett. That wouldn’t have happened if I had been switched into first hour. I don’t know why I was meant to meet him yet, but I’m sure I’ll find out this year. Maybe just to have a great friend. We’ll know soon, I suppose. Another good thing about the way things worked out is Wyatt and I are fairly close now. I can make him laugh now. Something gross happened yesterday, though. He has this big fur coat thing that he wears a lot and it holds a lot of stuff. Yesterday, he pulled out coffee creamer and took a sip of it. I was totally grossed out and I told him so. “It tastes good,” he argued. I scoffed. “That’s so gross.” We argued about it for a few minutes and he said, “You should really try it. It tastes good.” “I don’t have any to try!” Wyatt grinned and offered his. Drawing a deep breath, I accepted it. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I muttered. I sipped with some trepidation. There was a nuclear explosion inside my mouth. It tasted like liquified Cocoa Puffs pumped full of about fifty grams of sugar. My saliva glands went nuts. I had to go get a drink, because it was almost the most sugary thing I’ve ever had the displeasure to drink. I got yelled at in band AGAIN yesterday. Once again, I don’t know what I did. Mr. Roberts was saying something, and I glanced up the row. “Claire,” he started angrily. “You have to stop doing that. You’re communicating over there, and you need to be communicating up here.” I nodded. What the hell did I do this time? NOTHING. I wasn’t talking! However, I’ve found that I don’t have the guts to yell, “What did I do?” I know that if I did, he would look around like I was stupid and say, “What did Claire do, everyone?” I don’t feel like being publicly embarrassed, but it’s not my fault that I honestly don’t know! Maybe he thought I wasn’t taking him seriously or something? I’m not the talkative one. Latin was the best part of both my days. Yesterday Mr. Julius was going through a bunch of mythology. Some of it is like a bad episode of Jerry Springer or something. People keep raping their daughters and having kids that way, or baking their children in pies (which had us cracking up since a ton of people in this family had done the same thing- “It’s a long family tradition,” Mr. Julius had joked). Some of it is really interesting, though. I’m so glad I’m in that class. I’m glad I did so bad in Spanish. Today was also pretty good. We finished the passage that we’ve been attempting to translate for about a month now. It was about this soldier that turns into a werewolf. The guy telling the story is trying to visit his girlfriend, and his soldier friend turns into a werewolf after depositing his clothes on the ground. “’Then I saw a wondrous thing,’” Mr. Julius translated in a generic voice. “’All of my soldier’s clothes had been discarded and were laying near the road.’” “He thinks that’s a wondrous thing?” I asked. The class laughed. After the passage was done, Garrett and I played dreidel for the rest of class. He beat me. I don’t know how. He beats me at everything. We sat on the floor across from each other and when one of us would spin, the other would chant, “Shin! Shin!” which means one is subtracted from your score. The person who spun would shout, “Gimel! Gimel!” which means one is added. It was a lot of fun. If someone had looked in, it would have looked bizarre, a junior and a sophomore screaming foreign words in each other’s faces while hitting the floor. I kind of think that Toner was jealous, though, because he kept trying to distract us and draw attention to himself. He even threw his shoe at us at one point. Who knows why. He may only be a month younger than me, but he’s such a freshman sometimes. If he was jealous, then it was because he wanted Garrett to play with him or he likes me. Probably a little of both. He’s got to feel left out sometimes, because Garrett and I talk a lot in Latin, and Garrett thinks Toner’s annoying, even though Toner looks up to him. Poor guy. I like him as a person, but I’ve always had high tolerance because there’s no one in this world more annoying than David. Also after the passage, we were trying to come up with a word for “werewolf”, because the one in the book literally means “pelt-shifter”. We thought it would be something like “man of the wolf”. We asked Mr. Julius what “man of the wolf” would be. “You would say that as vir lupi,” Mr. Julius answered us. Garrett laughed. “We’re loopy!” he joked. I laughed at that pretty hard. That was hilarious. Latin is so much fun sometimes. Okay, it’s Friday, so I’m going to go relax or something. December 16, 2006 I just got back from Anne’s birthday party. Man, that was fun. It was so good to hang out with those guys again. I haven’t seen Magen in forever, Anne and I hang out, and I’ve missed Cam a lot. We watched a couple movies, ate, watched some TV shows, and played GameCube. Strangely enough, it was awesome just to let go and act a little under my age like I used to. During Super Smash Bros. Melee, I could openly make fun of Cam with no one getting mad and still joke around. One time, I tried to shout, “My hammer!” (because the game has these sledgehammers you can blow people away with), only it came out, “Mimer!” for reasons unknown. Cam beat me at Super Smash Bros. every time. He’s got what Michael has. He can play one video game twice and then kick your ass on it. He was Samus and I was Young Link. Man, he’s good. I had to concede defeat. It was so much fun, more fun than I’ve had for a long time. You know, I’m thinking about starting to invite those guys over on weekends for video games. In a way, I miss how things used to be. I wish I could just go back and live a day in my old life, on a day like I just had today. The day kind of started out bad. Mom woke me up at eight-thirty and Michael wanted to leave at eight-forty-five for the Salvation Army (Key Club thing- not really my choice). I ended up getting left behind because I had to take a shower. I got pissed off at Michael and Dad got pissed off at me. I ended up going and working for an hour and a half, anyway. It was... tiring. Michael was beat. After all, he had been working for about four hours. After that we went to the basketball game, Michigan versus Northern Illinois. We won. I spent most of the first half scanning the seats around us and above us, because I knew that Anne and Cam were going. Finally, at four minutes to go in the first half, I spotted them in the nosebleed section. I debated going to go see them at half-time or telling Dad I needed to go to the bathroom and just coming back some time later. Finally, one side won. “Hey Dad?” I asked. “I’m going to go to the bathroom real fast, okay?” He nodded and said, “Okay.” I set off immediately to Section 35, going quickly. I had to cross about half the court, but I got there. They were surprised to see me, but glad to see me. I sat on the deserted seats behind them and talked until the rest of the first half ended, then said that I should be getting back to Dad. We’re going to go see a movie that I needed to see for extra credit, maybe after break. Have I ever mentioned how glad I am that we’re all friends again? Cam and Anne hooking up did more than I could possibly imagine. Getting Cam back is the best part of this whole deal. Tonight, at the party, it was like old days. Seriously. During one of the movies, he was leaning against me like he used to do. It wasn’t a romantic thing or anything, but we used to do that all the time at his house. Once again, Cam is back to being like my favorite brother or something. Plus, I’m not jealous at all of them. I was jealous at the beginning of ninth grade when Amy used to flirt with Cam (because I was really protective of him), but now I’m just happy for them. Anne is the ONLY girl I would want Cam to go out with. I want them to get married. Seriously. Then I can be maid of honor and everything. Anne says I’m the closest “friend of the couple”. We’ve discussed them getting married a few times. She wants it a lot, and Cam asked her if she would think about it in about ten to fifteen years. That sounds just like Cam. I can just picture that wedding. Heck, I want it too. I love those guys. Well, I might go watch TV or talk to people, since it’s Saturday night. December 17, 2006 Sunday night here on the home front. I’m listening to David’s iPod. It’s “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart. Again, I wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but I love that song. Today wasn’t as boring as most Sundays are. I hung out and did some of Drake’s homework. We have a test on Tuesday. Also, we went driving today. It started with David. He wanted a sandwich, so he made me and Dad go down to bring him one. Dad wasn’t going to do it, but he knows I love to drive, so he relented. It turned into a longer drive, since I need “experience”. Ha. I kick ass right now, as arrogant as that sounds. I got him to take me past Huron and we were at the intersection that leads up to Geddes Road. We went through that intersection and up the country road. I’ve never driven on that road. The next step was to get Dad to let me drive up Earhart Road. I’m not going to mention why, but there was a street I needed to see. Greenhills Drive. I just needed to see where it was, for my own purposes. I’m not going to say why, because I’ll know and that’s all that matters. Crap, I have rehearsal tomorrow night. According to Mr. Roberts, we have to be there promptly at seven-fifteen, and have to be ready to start at seven-thirty. These are the kind of things that happen when Mr. Roberts gets stressed out of his mind. He starts jumping on everyone and everything. That may explain why he’s been jumping on us lately. Or we could be just stupid. My Geometry homework is not done. I’m debating whether I’m going to do it or not. I don’t want a Last Night Cram, like I usually do. You see, I hate to say it, but Mr. Kim’s homework is a tad optional. You just have to do it by the time the packet is turned in. Therefore, I slack a little and end up doing it all the night before the packet is due, which sucks. Michael says that’s not good, anyway. It doesn’t help you learn. You know, Michael is starting to sound a lot like Mr. Julius lately. Once again, we started laughing in church today. It started with the Prayers of the Faithful. After the person, persons, place or idea is prayed for, the congregation says, “Lord, hear our prayer.” Well, there was this guy a couple rows behind us who was about a syllable or two behind everyone else and he had a really, really deep voice, so it sounded like someone was speaking with a dub machine. Also, it sounded like he was drawing it out. I suppressed my laugh for a long time, then a made a fatal mistake. I looked at Michael. One look at his face and I lost it. You know, I was listening to “Death Valley Queen”, and I now I know what that song reminds me of. It reminds me of that stupid fight between Amy and the Walrus. It’s about this guy that’s after this girl who thinks he’s kind of an idiot and acts all high and mighty around him. However, he still loves her and he’s trying to get over it. I guess it was the line, “I’d do you no wrong though no stranger to sin.” Also, how mad he was, “Death Valley Queen, go marry your king, or an old maid you’ll end up for certain.” He actually tried to get Fuzz and me to stop hanging out with her for awhile after the infamous St. Patty’s Day Blowup. They patched it up okay (with our help, of course) but it’s always been rocky with them. On that note, I think I’m out. December 18, 2006 I’m just killing time until rehearsal starts. Hey, I actually spelled that right today! Mr. Roberts says we have to be there at a prompt time, so that means that we’re probably going to be there at a prompt time. I asked Zach today, “What would he do if you just skipped rehearsal?” Zach said, “He would be so mad. You would not be allowed to go to the concert.” Oi. I think I’ll go. Thanks, Zach. I got 106/108 on our Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde test that we got back today. According to Nick’s calculator, that’s 98%. Cool. I’ll take that. I have an insanely good grade in that class. Of course, I’m not in Intensive, but still, a really awesome grade. Now I just have to do that well on Shakespeare, too. Well, I have to say, A Midsummer Night’s Dream isn’t as hard as Romeo and Juliet was. I wanted to bump off Romeo and Juliet off myself by the second act. Quite frankly, I was sick of hearing about how sad it was that they could never be together because the Montagues and the Capulets hate each other’s guts. Whatever. They got theirs, and now we get to read the comedy. I should be studying for my Earth Science test, but I’m not sure I want to. I can hear it now, everyone telling me I could get an A instead of a B if I just hit the books every once in awhile. I know it’s going to sound arrogant, but I don’t need to study. Once I look at the question, I can usually piece together the answer. I know the material once I can look at the question. Band was your basic band period. You know, we mess around a lot. I think Mr. Roberts has given up. I’m ending this part after rehearsal, just for the record. We had a good rehearsal. We had to practice getting onstage and offstage. It was like middle school. Zach was directing us into our seats when we were getting offstage, so now I’m going to be calling him Captain Zach. I should have started that when he was my squad leader. Matt dropped his mute and naturally everyone looked to me and said, “Claire!” “It wasn’t me,” was the first thing I said after I heard the clonk. “Wait, it wasn’t Claire?” I heard Caleb ask. If I drop it this year, then it’ll be three years in a row. I can’t drop it. I’ll look terrible and Mr. Roberts will kill me. Although it sucks, we have three chances to drop it. I just don’t trust it anymore. I hold it in with my hands. Latin was decently entertaining, like usual. I told Mr. Julius that I voted for a class trip to Schrammberg, Germany, because Garrett said that he wanted to claim it as his city. We told him he should just go claim Garret, Ohio, because that’s closer. We discussed the idea of Michael curing cancer all by himself. I could see it, even though he says he wants to go into physics. Then we talked about finding Michael a girlfriend. Great period. Garrett is hilarious. He’s just so... perfect. He’s the kind of guy I want to marry someday. Though I wouldn’t tell him that. For once, I did my Geometry homework, just because we’re about due to get an assignment collected. It wasn’t hard. You just have to know how all the rectangles and parallelograms work. Not hard stuff. Just set some equations equal to each other and you get your answer. Geometry is my best friend. Now, I think I should go do something productive. Peace. December 20, 2006 Only two more days of school, then break. I guess I’m happy with that, at least for now. Watch me start complaining later on, about the last week of December to the first week of January. That’s when I’m going to be bored. But, tomorrow’s the fateful twenty-first of December. I have to make it through the memories of tomorrow before I can start break. I was really busy yesterday. I didn’t have any time, almost. I went to practice club (those seventh graders are damn funny) right after school. I was working with two seventh graders on their Solo and Ensemble piece. They had real names, but I ended up calling the guy Bubba and the girl Sarge. The girl told me that Bubba would probably stick. I got Bubba from Mr. Julius, actually. At the beginning of the year, to discourage us from telling him to call us anything weird, he said that he would call us whatever we told him for the whole year. He told a funny story where one guy was being funny and told him to call him Bubba, so Mr. Julius called him Bubba for a whole year. This guy told me to call him Bob. “Be careful,” I warned him. “I’ll probably call you that.” Sarge laughed. Remembering the Mr. Julius story, I had a brainwave. “I’m going to call you Bubba,” I declared. They found that hilarious. Sarge came from Bubba himself. They asked what they should call me. “You may call me ‘Captain’,” I said. They laughed. Therefore, I was Captain and Bubba called the girl Sarge. After that, in the interest of getting my family Christmas presents, I walked the dog and wrapped about a million presents for money. Once that was done (and it wasn’t a short assignment), I had to do Mr. Drake’s homework. That was a real bitch. I also had to make cookies for the concert, the infamous Winter Concert. Then I had to go to that. The concert was actually okay. The curse is broken, anyway. The Curse of the Mute-Dropping. “Hey, Claire!” Blake whispered at me while we were going offstage. “Congratulations! You made it through a whole concert without dropping anything!” That’s the funniest to Blake and me, because I did it in eighth grade, too. A mute was dropped, but it wasn’t me. It was the girl right in front of me. I heard the clank and immediately thought, “Wait, was that me?” I held my mute in with my hands this concert. I made my peace with the dress, because I ended up looking pretty damn good in it. Even Cam said today, “I know you hate that dress, but you looked really pretty last night.” I’m so glad Anne’s cool with that kind of thing. Cam’s like my brother, so he’s allowed to say stuff like that without meaning anything. I honestly think I blew Toner away, as arrogant as that sounds. He couldn’t even look at me. He just stared at the ground. When Amy asked him what he thought of me in a dress, he focused on the ground and muttered, “I have no idea.” It was really pretty funny. Ashley and I passed judgment on all the guys, with Who Can Pull Off The Tux. We decided that Caleb can pull it off the best, and the really short freshman bass clarinet player pulls it off the worst, followed closely by the tubas. I agreed with that one just for kicks, but they actually looked okay. Cam was the most entertaining in the tux. He actually looked great in it, he’s just a little skinny to pull it off well. Amy retied my bow, because apparently it looked like crap (hey, I had to do it no-looker). We walked out of the band storage room together and I thought I saw Luis look at me, like, “Wow,” or something. It reminded me of that country song Michael and I sometimes hear on 106.7 (The Fox), that goes like, “How d’you like me now?!” The guy has some repressed anger about this girl that shot him down and he’s mocking her from his song. He knows somehow that her life didn’t turn out that great, so he’s saying, “Ha! Look at how crappy your life is, and look what a wonderful life I’m having without you!” It makes us laugh a lot, but it honestly reminded me of that. ‘Tis the season to wish evil things on tuba players. Now, Mr. Roberts is gone for awhile to Chicago for some conductor’s clinic. Luckily for us, he took MacArthur with him. Hence, band was great today, and we talked more than we have since last year, when Mr. Roberts wasn’t stressed out and jumping on everyone. The sub was actually a woman whose son I used to know in about third grade. She remembered me. “Oh, yeah, Claire’s very memorable,” Jessica put in when I asked the sub. Well, back then I didn’t come across as nearly as mischievous as I do now. Latin was the second-best. Mr. Julius has given up teaching us anything new before the break, so he just showed a movie. It was this thing called Reduced Shakespeare. They pretty much do all of Shakespeare’s works in exactly ninety minutes. “Listen for Latin phrases and we can pretend that it’s relevant,” Mr. Julius said. The movie was really funny. The one with Romeo and Juliet was the best. The scene where Romeo slays Tybalt is about thirty seconds long. They just talk for twenty seconds and then the guy who plays Tybalt (there’s only three guys in the whole thing) shouts, “Oh! I am slain!” and drops. I practically died laughing. I wonder what I have to do now. Probably homework or some such thing. December 21, 2006 Well. Here we are. I’m listening to “Bend and Not Break”. I realized I haven’t listened to that song in awhile. Good song. I love the beginning. This is the song that’s always going to remind me of last summer, along with “My Sundown” and “Almost”. I’m glad I don’t have to go through that summer again. There was all that crap with the Walrus, Amy was gone, and I was bored as hell. Band was actually okay today. We still have that sub. She’s nice enough, but even she yelled at me today! Okay, she didn’t yell, but she said I had a funny look on my face. That must be what’s driving Roberts nuts. I must have a weird look on my face! I assured her I didn’t mean anything. I only got picked on because she knows me from Allen. The rehearsal was a joke. We played “Italian in Algiers” (one of our concert pieces), only today was orchestra, so we were missing a lot of our soloists. Ashley and myself knew that the music would derail if we didn’t do anything, so we did what we are forbidden to do. We sang. Every single solo, we sang it. The sub thought it was really funny. Blake’s solo was the best to sing. Afterwards, I handed out Pez and Sam Nam (cool guy- trying out for drum major, actually), Ashley, Caleb, and me talked for the last twenty minutes. I heard that Jessica is going to tell Mr. Roberts that she only played one song then let us go. I hope she doesn’t. She’s the greatest. I laughed so much and without worrying about what Roberts would think or that I was going to get in trouble. That’s how band is supposed to be. It was Reduced Shakespeare again today during Latin. Hilarious stuff. I ate the Snickers that my Earth Science friend Sam gave me today (she gave me a bunch of stuff) during the movie. Garrett just looked at me, and I knew what he wanted, so I rolled my eyes and tore off part of the Snickers. What are friends for? We took Michael’s pencils away from him because he wouldn’t stop drumming. Good thing he has us to guide him. Hey, we heard this last night! I was on the phone with Amy (because she was sick yesterday so I called to make sure she wasn’t dead), and Fuzz called while we were on the phone. HE’S COMING HOME!!!!!! Next semester, he’s being transferred in!!!! I didn’t realize just how happy I was until we heard the news. I miss Fuzz so much. Throughout today, I passed on the news, first to Wyatt, then to the Walrus. They were both really happy. Fuzz is everyone’s favorite guy. I missed him so much. Next month, then. Yeah, baby! That news really helped me through this day. There were times that I totally forgot what day today was. A year. Wow. I think I’m going to be okay in the long run. I’m going to be okay. I wonder what it was that happened to me last December. I guess we’ll never know. All in the past now, as Wyatt told me today about something else. One more day, then we’re done. I’m going to go relax. December 22, 2006 Yes! All done! The most amazing sunset is going on right now, all purple and orange and such. I’m just glad we’re done with school for awhile. It’s the second-biggest break, after summer, of course. Dad and I got into a huge fight last night. I wanted to go start my Christmas shopping (because they said we could go) but Dad weaseled out of it because he was tired. If he had just told me that, I wouldn’t have been so angry. Again, I just don’t like being out of control of my life, being told that my life isn’t going to go a certain way. Mom sort of made me feel a little better later on. Our discussion led back to Michael and me, and how I’m going to always be the afterthought, even after he leaves Huron. I was so mad, I actually did some poetry. Seriously. Me. Poetry. One was me raging at Dad, another was me to Michael, and a third was for Cam. I ended up liking the one for Michael the best. I didn’t write out the title, but I’m going to call it “Golden Boy”. It turned out really well. A really good piece of work, at least for me. Well, not to sound arrogant, but I am a pretty good writer. I’ve never written when I was charged up like that, and I got some interesting results. The one for Cam was good, too. I started out by telling him I love him more than I can say, which is very true. To this day, I can’t figure out why he doesn’t hate me. My last day was really easy. We actually made snowflakes in Mr. Kim’s class. For real. It cracked me up to see that Wyatt makes the best snowflakes I’ve ever seen. Wyatt can be really serious and he acts pretty old, like someone’s grandfather or something. Well, Amy says he’s “a complex guy”. I think that kind of goes without saying. That’s Wyatt. Band was also really fun. That sub lady is a bit of a pushover. We eventually stopped playing and just hung out. I studied for my Latin synopsis and talked to Karen. The other trumpets played that card game I have no idea how to play. Karen kind of explained it, but I don’t think I would be that good. I brought my trumpet home, so the metal won’t congeal or anything for two weeks. All my Latin studying paid off. We took our synopsis first thing, and I got an A. My first A on a synopsis in a very long time. I could tell it was going to be good, because Mr. Julius graded it right then and there, and he only made about two tick marks and he was done fast. After that, we finished Reduced Shakespeare (they end with Hamlet). For us, he went back to the “play within a play” part (it’s something in Hamlet), but they do a puppet show, not actually a play. First the puppets sing, then they make out, then there’s something of a puppet sex scene. They pretty much just bash the puppets together, but it’s hilarious. Mr. Julius agreed to go back to that part for our amusement. Michael and I got David’s present, finally. It’s some Xbox game that David wanted. I was thinking, I might ask Mom and Dad for the new Legend of Zelda game. Anne has it, and it’s pretty sweet. You turn into a wolf. I might research it right now, then make an informed decision. Wow, I’m turning into a real nerd, aren’t I? Whatever. Information is good. Now, I’m going to go search that. It’s the end of school! At least for awhile, anyway. December 23, 2006 Two days until Christmas. I’m a little woozy, because I’ve been watching Forensic Files for the past two hours. I love those kind of shows. Regular TV just seems like crap lately, unless it’s a comedy. I like comedy. David and I were just debating about fictional TV versus factual TV. He likes to be entertained. I like to be informed. I guess that’s the difference between us. I finally finished my Christmas shopping today, with getting Michael a gift card to Starbucks’. However, since he came in with me, I had to tell him it was for Dad. I put it in a big box and taped the card to the bottom, so it feels like nothing’s in there. Mom got some towels from me, dish towels. As I said to Dad in Bed Bath and Beyond, nothing screams Christmas like dish towels. Michael and I got this Xbox game for David, and I got Dad a calendar of cartoons from The Far Side. He told me not to get him anything that night we got into that fight, but I know he was just pissed and he would actually be really upset if I didn’t give him anything. We were out for seriously about two and a half hours today. The mall was the worst. Michael says that David and I are “bad at walking” but we aren’t. People just don’t seem to get that American traffic stays to the right. Not my fault. People can be assholes at the mall, though. About two hours into our Christmas journey, we were paying at JC Penny’s. We didn’t really know how the line worked, so we went around to the next cashier, who explained about the line. This middle-aged lady (who totally wasn’t involved, by the way) turned to us and practically shouted at David, “Yeah, go to the back of the line, buddy!” Then, to herself, she added, “What an idiot.” Anger flared at me when she said that. I followed Michael to the back of the line, but I wanted to grab her by the front of her sweatshirt and scream, “You got a problem!?” right in her face. Now, I’ll admit, David really sometimes doesn’t have the best sense, but it’s not his fault he has Aspburger’s syndrome! It comes with the territory. The three of us really didn’t know. It’s not our fault. When we got to the back of the line, I said to Michael, “She’s a bitch.” He nodded, pulling a face. “Oh, yeah. Of course.” I hate people like that, people who diss on any member of my family when they’re not even involved. I won’t even hear a word against my brothers with my friends, like Amy. I complain about David a lot, but no one else is allowed to say anything about him. Same with my parents. One time, when we were about in eighth grade, Cam said something about how he and his mom make jokes at Mom’s expense. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself or my family back then, but I was really mad. If it had been these days, I know I probably would have thrown Cam out of my house and told him that I would kick his ass next time I saw him. Sometimes I wonder if I do have anger problems. I know I have a vicious temper sometimes, but I think that’s it. Also, it only comes up sometimes. Back in about May, we were all talking about shrinks or something, me, Amy, the Walrus, and Fuzz. “I once went to a shrink,” I remember saying. They asked me why, because I usually come across as the stable one. “On account of my anger issues,” I said honestly. The three of them honestly thought it was funny, because back then, I had more self-control than the average fourteen-year-old. It really only comes up around my family. David and Dad, specifically. Dad, when he won’t treat me like people are supposed to treat fifteen-year-olds. David, when he does something annoying or repetitive. Sometimes I look at how I react at school and at home, and it’s really scary how much of a discrepancy there is. So much for Christmas spirit, eh? Actually, today I was reading the card that Amy gave me on Friday, with her present (chocolate, which was awesome). It cracked me up. I love Amy. Claire... Wow, another year as my BFF and another year gone by WITHOUT dropping your mute! Lol. :) It’s been amazing, keep running from that walrus and watch out for a sexy li’l convict. -Happy Holidays -Amy Hilarious stuff. She just had to put in about my mute and about the Walrus and Luis. Funny, because honestly I don’t know what I was thinking with either. I look back on this thing, with all my stuff with the Walrus, and I think, “Hm. I actually thought that?” He did serve his purpose, however. To this day, I honestly don’t know what I found so irresistible about Luis. That was some weird stuff. He’s not a bad person, but he’s such a showoff and a bit of a loser. That’s partly why I don’t want that to get out. There are about two hundred band people who would find that very amusing. Okay, that’s all for now, folks. December 24, 2006- Christmas Eve We actually have to go to church twice today, since Christmas falls on a Monday this year. The first one is over, and we’re going tonight, the Vigil, as they call it. What I really want them to sing is that really cool song in Latin that the A Cappela Choir sang one year. I think it goes like this: Gaudete, Gaudete Christus est natus Ex Maria, virgine Gaudete I can’t figure out if natus is a participle or not. If it were, it would be a present active participle. To be born is a verb, so I guess it is. Or it could just be a predicate adjective. Argh. Where’s Mr. Julius when you need him? One of these days, I’m going to request gaudeo, gaudere as the verb for our synopsis. He told me flat out that he’s not going to do “to behave like a Sicilian” or appropinquat. They’re the longest verbs in the Latin language. Christmas Eve already. Wow. Time flies, doesn’t it? I’m going to be in college before I know it. All that aside, I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I checked out my presents, and I think I have an idea of what I’m getting. From the packages, I think they got me Legend of Zelda. Sweet. From the one skinny package, I think I got a new chain for Cam’s old necklace. Also, they might have gotten me a new fleece and an iPod dock, since Michael has a box that’s almost the same size and we both asked for one. If we did get one, I honestly can’t believe they found it. Those are going fast. I’m a bit tired. I stayed up until about two-fifteen in the morning, watching Braveheart. It was actually the first time I’ve ever seen that all the way through on DVD, since they show it on TV a lot. Braveheart’s my favorite movie, no contest. I’m extremely ladylike, aren’t I? Well, nothing like Scottish rebels chopping up the English to put you in a good mood. Well, I should probably go. Merry Christmas. December 25, 2006- Christmas Day Merry Christmas to all. Good haul this year, too. I got a new chain (like I thought I would), $80 towards Borders (I’m not even kidding), an iPod dock, Legend of Zelda (which was awesome), and some clothes. No snow or anything, but that’s okay. It was a great Christmas. We’ve been playing Risk all day. After all, world domination just screams Christmas, right? Time to eat. I’m out. Merry Christmas for the millionth time. ‘Bye. December 27, 2006 Well, four more days in 2006. I almost don’t want it to be 2007. I think that’s because that means that Michael’s leaving soon. It just seems like we’re getting so old, you know? I’m happy, in a way, but part of me wants to stay fifteen forever. And after 2007 is 2008, when the sophomores leave. Yeah, in my heart they’re still the sophomores. I’m going to have so say goodbye to Lisa and Jessica and Garrett and Zach (both of ‘em, actually) and everyone else. Huh. Enough of that. It’s still break over here, and it will be for a couple more weeks now. I’m not bored yet, but that’s only because I’ve been playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for most of it. Anne’s been a great help and she doesn’t laugh too hard at me, the video game dummy. There was a goat-herding incident which she just had to laugh at. I didn’t realize that you had to talk to the ranch hand guy to get the goat-herding started, so I was trying to get them into the barn without being in goat-herding mode. We both cracked up at that. Anne’s great to have around. My right leg hurts like hell. For the past couple days I’ve been getting on the treadmill right after I get up. Three miles, every day. I definitely pulled something yesterday. The good side is that I’m not tired during the day and I feel pretty good. The best part is afterwards, when I take a shower. I don’t know why, but it’s so awesome. Then I don’t feel lazy when I sit on the couch for the rest of the day. Three miles is actually hard for me right now, but I suppose it’ll get easier if I keep doing it. I sort of miss being at school. School isn’t bad for me these days. I miss my friends, I suppose. Once we get back to school it’s going to be my favorite time of year. Finals. Yeah, I’m crazy. I love finals. It’s all review of stuff I already know and classes get really easy. It’s more than that, really. The tests are fun for me. It’s like a game. Plus, half-days! What could be better? Geometry is going to be an easy final. Me and Geometry get along nicely. Mr. Wilson himself told us that his final isn’t going to be a brain-buster. Speech is going to be bad, because we have to do a persuasive speech. I’ll do okay on Earth Science. Better than the rest of those fools, anyway. Latin should be okay. I’m good at Latin. In band, we’re doing scales. I’ve got those scales down this year. Last year, it was death by scale test. I actually read back to June 2 or whatever, when we were in that uniform room doing scales and Mr. MacArthur said, “Hey, what if Caleb was spelled with a K? I think that would be really neat.” I realized that’s the first place I ever mention Luis. I go off on a rant later in the summer, which still cracks me up. It’s all one sentence, which cracks me up even more. We got a math packet from Mr. Kim, actually. It’s not due until the day of the final, but I still think I’m going to work on it and keep my brain fresh. December 28, 2006 Interestingly enough, I had the best day with Michael. Grandmom was getting a perm and it would take a couple hours, so we went downtown and used the massage gift cards we both got for Christmas. We had to come back a little later, because they were full, so we just walked downtown. It was really fun. I was cold as hell, because I couldn’t find my jacket this morning, but I still had some fun. We got some coffee (hot chocolate for me since I don’t drink coffee) and went into some of the stores. We spent a lot of time in this store called A Thousand Villages, where stuff comes in from all over the world. It’s very fair and anti-child labor. Michael had some fun with the music selection and the musical instruments. They had some cool stuff. After that we went back to the massage place. At first I was a bit nervous, because I was going to get a guy, but he was really nice. I had to laugh, because Michael got a guy, too. He purposely signed me up first so I would get the guy and he would get the girl. The massage was really good. I honestly think I might have fallen asleep. I wasn’t worried about sexual abuse after awhile, because I figured the guy wouldn’t do anything with a bunch of witnesses and my brother standing right there. I feel very relaxed. I had the weirdest dreams last night. First, I dreamed that I was in the Huron auditorium with the band in my dress, or some of it anyway. For some reason or other, I wasn’t wearing pantyhose, a slip, or nice shoes. I was wearing sneakers and white socks. We were sitting in the audience and I went up to Mr. Roberts and asked him if I could call Mom and have her bring my shoes, because I had a blanking moment and had forgotten mine. He kind of laughed at me, a friendly laugh (which shows that this was a dream). Yet, at that exact moment, Varsity Band got done and I had to go up there like I was. Weird, huh? The second part was weirder. I dreamed I was going down the highway in a motorcycle. Sometimes I would feel like the motorcycle was out of control and going too fast, other times I felt like I had perfect control and I was having the time of my life. I pulled off to a parking lot on the side of the road perfectly and spotted the police. Somehow, I knew that they were going to come talk to me. All I remember is that they asked me whose motorcycle that was and that I called them ‘sir’ very respectfully. For the owner of the motorcycle, I named my godparents in Maine for some reason. I’m fairly certain that they let me off and I kept going. Strange. They say that what you think about right before you go to sleep influences what you dream about, but I wasn’t thinking about anything of that sort. I was actually thinking about the time the Walrus nearly told Luis that I liked him. It was last May or something like that. Something possessed me to tell the Walrus about him and he misunderstood and thought that we had gone out. So, therefore, he was going to go brag to Luis that he was dating his ex and I caught him just in time. That still makes me cringe. I’m hoping to graduate without that ever getting out, though, I must say, Toner has a big mouth. Maybe I’ll actually get around to that math packet this time around. I might just read or something. It’s my vacation, after all. December 30, 2006 Another night of strange dreams last night. I dreamed that I was at some sort of flight school. It was almost like I was an astronaut. This woman told me a story about how she was up in the air and she had a crisis and she couldn’t remember some code, so she died. Why is it that dead people always stick around in my dreams? Next, I was having some fight with Dad and wanted to stay at this elementary school with orange walls. He wouldn’t let me stay, however. There was a lot of taking off in a rocket in that dream, and we may have gotten into space once or twice. The next part was almost a memory. Part of it definitely happened. It was the pep rally from seventh grade. Weird, huh? I was twelve years old and in the bleachers with the rest of the white team, doing that cheer that we made up for the pep rally. The only thing missing was the thirteen-year-old version of Cam, who definitely would have been there, since we were best friends back then. But, after the memory ended, all the white team sat on the sidelines of the Tappan gym and part of the team did some kind of dance in the middle of the gym. After that, someone said it was time to “vote out” our student council or something. I heard part of a hymn that we used to sing at St. Thomas that I haven’t thought about for years. The line I heard was, “And your endless mercy follows me and your goodness will lead me home.” I wish I could remember what that song was called. So, I looked all that up. The rocket means I’m going straight up and achieving success, or I’m going to win over my crush. Sweet. The gym means I need to apply what I know to everyday life. The astronaut means I’m expanding my awareness or consciousness. Well, these are all good things. I love dreams. If I go into psychology, I’m going to do dreams on the side. Okay, enough stuff with my subconscious. I’m all alone here at home. The parents and grandparents went to some furniture store, David went with them, and Michael’s at his pal Aaron’s. I only got up at one in the afternoon. After that, I went on the treadmill. For some reason, it’s not as hard if I’m listening to a CD in the CD player. It’s painful if I listen to my iPod. Today I was rocking out to “I Got A Man”. That’s the best hip-hop song in the world, and I hate rap. I just think it’s kind of funny. The first time I heard it was on the way to Amy’s fifteenth birthday party. It’s about this guy who sees this girl at a club or something, and he’s trying to win her over, but she keeps telling him, “I got a man!” and she won’t cheat on her man. That doesn’t stop him from trying to get with her for three minutes and forty-eight seconds. It cracks me up and I know all the words now. Hmmmm. “Some Hearts”. I remember this song. I was totally into it last summer. Zach’s song, still. You want to hear something funny? Around about middle July, I kind of liked him. If you look back, you’ll find that I had numerous dreams about him. Too bad I can’t ever tell Amy that. She would rip my head right off. I had the hardest time going to sleep last night. We’re back to how it was over the summer, when I would go to bed at four in the morning and get up at three in the afternoon. I had to listen to my “calming music”. In the course of an hour I went through “I’ll Be”, “Lips of an Angel” (great song), “Reel in the Flickering Light”, and the ever-famous “She Will Be Loved”. One more thing I never told Amy. It’s still one of my favorites, though. I don’t mind spending every day Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with a broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved Yeah, Amy would take my head straight off. Maybe I’ll tell her if she gets over the jealousy complex that she has with her past boyfriends. Zach and Alex don’t get it. Alex understands a little better than Zach and he makes it a bit funnier. He had me on the floor back in May. I sort of miss that time. We had Fuzz back then, anyway. All right, I’m going to head out. Back to my day as a hermit. December 31, 2006- New Year’s Eve Okay, here we are. Last day of 2006. We have and hour and sixteen minutes left in the year. I was talking to Amy for awhile before this. We talked for about and hour and a half. It was good, because we haven’t had a lot of long phone conversations lately like we used to. As usual, we didn’t talk about anything important. Well, the Fairy March, like usual, but nothing big. Her parents are at some New Year’s party and I just don’t talk to mine a whole bunch, so we made do with each other. For once, I have someone that I have a lot of history with, other than Cam, of course. A lifetime of memories happened last year, enough for a whole high school career of inside jokes. Just us and our guys generate a lot of comedy. For example, I told Amy the story of how the Walrus nearly exposed me to Luis and she cracked up at that. That was really a close one. I said to Amy, “You know, with everything that happened with us seems almost like a dream.” Seriously. No one really seems to remember that I once went out with the Walrus. Hurley is the only one that ever brought it up and he wasn’t even sure what happened. Huh. He’s not the only one. I went driving today in the rain. It wasn’t that bad, actually. I swear, the only reason Dad lets me listen to music in the car is because he likes to sing along to the songs. For example, today it was “Bohemian Rhapsody”. He loves that song. We go down the roads blasting it and singing along. I’m sure we look perfectly insane to the world outside. I saw the music for that a few days ago in one of David’s audition books. What we played for Homecoming is pretty close to the real thing. It was interesting to see the real thing. Right now I’m listening to Dashboard Confessional and doing nothing. I really like “So Beautiful”. It’s going to be a song that reminds me of last summer. It also kind of reminds me of Amy. It’s the line, “You’re so beautiful when you’ve convinced yourself no one else is quite as beautiful.” Last year she had a lot of self-image issues. It took combined efforts of Fuzz and me to bring her back up again. I miss that time. Sort of. Well, I guess I don’t have anything else of interest to report, really. This is it for the year. It’s been a good one. Until 2007. January 1, 2007- New Year’s Day Happy New Year. It’s gray and cloudy today and it has been all day. Well, I only woke up a little after one in the afternoon. I remember what I was doing on this day last year. I had gone to Ashley’s to practice our duet. We got a one when we actually played it. On the way home, Dad played one of Michael’s old CDs. One of the songs on it was “Beautiful Day” by U2. It’s a beautiful day Sky falls You feel like It’s a beautiful day Don’t let it get away Great song. Anyway, I was in the weirdest mood on the way home. It was another time that I realized that I really missed Luis. It was the end of my denial, really. I remember staring up at the sky. It really was a beautiful day that day. All right, enough of that. Last night was actually fun, even though I had another stomach incident. Apparently, since I threw up on red wine last May, I can’t deal with alcohol anymore. I had just a little beer and felt like I was about to hurl. I hate this so much. Michael and David can both drink and they feel fine. It makes me feel weak! Maybe I should build myself up, a little at a time. I ended up drinking a little champagne and felt okay. It sucks though, because that means I won’t do any hard-core partying. I almost want to get drunk, just to know what it’s like. Today was another day of driving. I’m getting so good. Dad was on the phone for a lot of it, too. That means that I was almost driving myself. If only, eh? Well, only nine and a half more months. I really can’t wait. Also, in one hundred and twenty-seven days, The Pilgrims of Rayne comes out. That’s not that far away. Sweet. Well, Happy New Year to all. I’m out.

November 29, 2006 It’s not even four yet, and it’s already almost dark. I think it’s the clouds. Makes everything seem drearier. I love this weather right now. Not much sun. I had a good day today. In band, the tubas’ chair results came back. I was so happy that Toner got first. That means he’s in orchestra and he gets all the honors of being principle. He was happy, but not really surprised. I guess I wasn’t either. Blogin apparently did very good. He’s second chair now. Which leaves the last alternative last chair. It was really funny. Hilarious. Mr. Roberts gave out the chairs early in the hour. “Okay,” he said. “The tuba chair arrangement will be Michael first, Nick second, and Luis third.” The returning Concert Band trumpets lost it. We shoved our fists in our mouths to shut ourselves up. We knew why. Luis had switched to make himself first chair tuba, and he got his ass kicked by two freshmen. Last chair again. “And he used to sit himself in between those guys because he had more experience,” Ashley said next to me, laughing. Now maybe I can let go of the vendetta, because now he’s getting what he deserves. For about five and a half more months, too. In a way I feel sorry for the guy, because he is the junior and that’s got to piss him off. I know he was pissed when he was Dead Last my freshman year. That actually worried me for awhile. “I don’t want Luis to hate me!” I remember thinking. Maybe I will let go of the vendetta, even though it’s going to be like the end of an era. I have a trumpet lesson tonight. My trumpet dude gave me this really hard solo. It’s going to take me awhile to get down. Whatever. I have one of the best teachers in the city, and probably the state, too. He’s a great guy. His name is Charles Larkins. Extremely nice and even more well-known. Matt Stern goes to him and so does Blake. That would explain why Blake is now my section leader. Hey, maybe I can drive there! Yeah, I’ve decided. I’m letting go. I’m going to do it here and now. Then I’m done forever. It’s been eleven months. It’s time to let go. This is the way it was meant to be and I’m never going to hold a grudge like that again. Okay, I’m just going to say it one more time. Damn tuba players! That’s it. Done forever with the tubas. I suppose I can make fun of them if it’s in context, like today with the scales. Sounded like shit. Homework time, so ‘bye. November 30, 2006 Interesting day today. Amy decided to tell Paul that she liked him today. I never even got the chance to stop her, because I was doing my stupid lab in Mr. Drake’s class at lunch. The Walrus was also there, but he was snoring in the the back, because his narcotics make him sleepy. Narcotics. Seriously. Someone tell me what the hell I was thinking last year. I went out of Drake’s class for a second to go to the bathroom when I saw them. I went over to say hi to them. After a few seconds of small talk, Amy said, “Claire, he knows.” Aw, crap. “Oh. He knows,” I said, caught by surprise. We spoke no more of it. Amy had to go to the library. Paul went the way I was going, and I said, “So, you finally found out.” “Actually, I’ve known for awhile,” Paul said. “Oh. Really?” “Yeah. Did you hear about last summer?” Okay, here’s the background for this. I forgot to put all this down while it was going on. Amy went to NEMC this summer and she told Paul to write her. He never did it, because he was really busy this summer, and she was muy pissed off. Therefore, she went and hooked up with Alex instead. “Yeah, I did. I heard all about it,” I said. He nodded and went down the 4200 hallway and I went down the 5200. Whoa, I was thinking. That was a bit sudden. I went back in the room to talk to Mr. Drake about this one part of the lab. The Walrus was still narc’d out in the back, and the student teacher was eating a Nutri-Grain bar. I was dismissed, and she just told me to get the rest of the lab from someone. I met up with Paul and Amy in the library. Things seemed good between them, which is why I was so shocked when Amy caught up with me after band and gave me a hug. “So what’s the word?” I asked. “He shot me down,” she said quietly. Whoa. For real? I gave Amy another hug. I really didn’t see that happening. I’m dying to know what he said, but I guess she’s not going to want to talk about it for awhile. Damn. If it hadn’t been the Paul thing, the news that I kicked my tuba vendetta would have been bigger. Poor Amy. The rest of the day was okay. People are saying that we might have a snow day tomorrow, because all this rain is going to freeze. Okay, then I guess it’s more like an ice day. I hope we do. I could use a day to sleep in. Band was probably the most fun. This chair arrangement might work out well. Ashley cracks me up. In addition to that, I also get Matt Stern (a really funny guy when he wants to be) and Jay Bouma, who’s also hilarious. Zach is a little bit of a Negative Ned, since he’s still bummed from his chair. I can’t wait until he challenges, because then we’ll have Caleb closer to us. Me and Ashley sang all parts that were not ours. I think Mr. Roberts is wondering who keeps singing. I got a B- on my Latin synopsis, and I could have gotten better. I was so happy. I’ve been failing a lot of those lately. It’s amazing what studying your participles can do. And I finally got my subjunctives right. Now I know that imperfect is the one where you do the second principle part plus endings and pluperfect is the perfect stem plus -isse plus the endings. I’ve got to remember that. I think I’m going to warn Alex to not be offended if Amy snaps at him today. He’s on right now, so I’m going to go do that. December 1, 2006 We only have fifteen more school days until winter break. It’s cloudy right now, so I’m hoping it will snow. According to Alex, there’s no snow in Vermont, either. Tomorrow is Michael’s birthday, and Zach’s birthday is the day after that. I have a few bucks, so I might go get him something. You know who can be annoying sometimes? Brothers. Michael suddenly went all protective of me today in the car. Garrett and I exchanged numbers today in Latin, so he entered me and I forgot my phone, so I just wrote his down on a sheet of paper. It’s not anything really special, because these days exchanging numbers means, “Okay, we’re friends” even if you never call each other. I pulled out the paper because I had forgotten what it was. “What’s that?” Michael asked sharply. “A piece of paper,” I retorted. “What does it say?” “It says a number,” I said, tap-dancing around the truth. “Whose?” he said, interrogating me. “Does it matter?” “Yes!” “Why?” I asked, completely at a loss. “Because it’s a dude and I want to know!” Okay, how the hell did he know that? I swear Michael can read minds. “I don’t want to tell you, because you might go kill him.” “No, I won’t. Who is it?” “You don’t know him.” “Throw me a name,” he pressed. “You don’t know Garrett!” I said, because he had said that he hadn’t awhile ago. “Garrett who?” “Schramm.” “Oh,” he said, thinking about this. “His brother was queer. He was in choir.” “Really?” I asked, thinking, He probably wasn’t. He went on to tell me about how he had asked this girl to prom (then how is he gay? I thought) and it was all elaborate. It seemed well done, just a little over the top. “Queer” is a very relative term with Michael. Usually it just means “pansy”, not necessarily really gay. Michael picks the weirdest moments to be protective of his little sister sometimes. Like last May, with the Walrus incident. I think for some reason he just doesn’t feel comfortable with me and guys. Whatever. It was nothing like he was thinking, unfortunately. Speaking of which, I got 101% on the noun endings quiz Mr. Julius gave out. Mr. Vogel would be so proud. I got the same score as Toner. That’s how I know I did really good. I’m glad I finally learned the damn things, because you’re really in trouble in Latin if you don’t know them. Then we attempted to translate the rest of the passage that Mr. Julius assigned. Didn’t work out so well, because we ended up talking like usual. We played “Duet From Lakme” today in band, where we rest for about a million measures. We were bored and Ashley made me laugh and Zach finally said, “Claire! Stop laughing!” Ashley commented, “You know, we should have a joke contest. Whoever makes Claire laugh the most wins.” Still laughing, I said, “You know, that’s not the best scale...” Since I laugh at everything, everyone would win. Interesting reputation I’ve gotten lately. First I was the Mute-Dropper, now I guess I’m the Laugher. I was really pretty embarrassed about the mute, even though I laughed it off. So did everyone else. Amy said she remembers thinking, “Okay, who’s the stupid trumpet who dropped their mute?” She and Paul aren’t doing that well. She’s mad as hell, because of what happened. I finally got the story. Boy, it’s going to be awhile for them. She pretty much yelled at him for not writing her and Paul got defensive, which I could have told her would happen. They were fighting and she said, “This won’t work will it?” and he agreed, then tried not to lose her as a friend by hugging her and saying, “You’re a really nice friend, Amy.” Which wasn’t what she wanted to hear and he’s acting normal. You know, this whole thing is stupid. Mistakes were made all around here, so I don’t think it’s universally anyone’s fault. Amy took it too personally and Paul should have found out what exactly she expected from him before telling Amy he would go out with her. I feel like telling Paul, “You know, Amy’s really mad at you” but I don’t want him to feel bad and Amy should really let it go. I swear she needs brothers. I would have done it differently, since I probably would have been like, “Okay, it’s okay that you were busy.” No one should have flown off the handle like they did. I wonder what I’m going to do about Michael’s present. I don’t think he cares one way or the other, but I’m a nice sister. Maybe I’ll try to go in on something with Mom. But now, it’s Friday, so I’m going to go relax. December 3, 2006 It’s been a good couple of days. Michael’s eighteen now, so it’s legal for him to be the licensed driver in the passenger’s seat when I drive. The condo people accepted our grandparents’ offer, so they’ll be moving out halfway through January. Also, I boosted my reputation with Alex. The thing with my parents is that whenever it’s someone’s birthday, we have to do a whole freakin’ photo shoot. I seized the opportunity and got a decent picture of myself taken with Grandmom. I showed Amy the bad ones of me and then showed her the good one, saying that I hated it. She said I looked pretty, so presto! I sent it to Alex (and told him that I would kill him if he mentioned it to Amy). I think it was received well. He flirted with me for a solid five to ten minutes, so I think that’s a good sign. I’m just glad he’s got something better now, because I was quite ugly in that other one. Ten months pass, and I look totally different. Cool. I’m waiting for Zach to get on, so I can pass it on to him, too. He probably won’t be on, because it’s his sixteenth birthday today. Michael’s two years and a day older than him, which we laughed about last February. I’ve got a ton of homework tonight. Mr. Drake’s review questions, the introductory paragraph for our analytical essays for Mr. Wilson, throw together some quality crap for Mr. Fox that resembles a speech, and my Geometry homework. The Geometry homework is kind of optional, because unlike Mr. Samulak, Mr. Kim almost never checks it. You just pretty much just have to have it done by the day of the test, when you hand it as a packet. We got our Christmas tree today. It looks pretty good. We’re waiting to decorate it, because Mom and Dad went out to dinner. It’s their anniversary, and unfortunately also the first day of Advent, so they can’t have something separate. I was just happy we sang “The King Shall Come” today in church. I knew it was coming, because we almost always sing that on the first Sunday of Advent. One of the best church songs, along with “Ancient of Days” and “Prayer of Augustine”. Christ the King is the best church for music. Ever. Now I’m going to go do my homework, since all my teachers ‘hoed my life this weekend. December 4, 2006 It’s snowing nicely today. Everyone says I’m crazy because I love snow. I wish I could think of an excuse to go outside. Maybe I’ll go down to the library or something later. Too bad it’s windy. I like snow, but not wind. I actually got my speech done last night. I killed off Fictional Person Bertha. I was going to use Joan, but that was a little close to Joe for me, which was Hurley’s dad’s first name. I’m not taking any chances. There were some really funny ones. My friend Olivia did one eulogizing her fictional panda, which was hilarious. She said that she talked on the phone to her panda. A girl did a serious one for her brother, which made me glad I didn’t go today. My cough is getting kind of bad. Today during band, I started hacking during “Duet From Lakme” and Ashley had to pound me on the back. It sounds like I’m dying of the Black Lung or something. Other than that, band was great and that stupid zit on my lip (which made it freakin’ impossible to play) finally healed, so I don’t want to scream when I hit high notes. Latin was lots of fun. I ended up with a B+ at the interim, which sucks for me, but I’ll take what I can get. I need at least an A by the end of the interim, however. We translated a passage, sort of. Garrett pulled out his iPod and we listened to music. There was one song of his I really liked. He made me guess the name. I guessed “The Sweetest Thing” and I was right. Well, they say it like every other sentence. Then he pulled out all the A Cappella choir stuff from a few years ago, which was fun for me, because I tried to pick out David. I could hear him, too. They held this one note, and I heard him really clearly. He always did have a powerful voice. I have 95% in English. Kickass grade. Mr. Wilson told me to broaden my thesis, so it’s easier to support. Paul told me the same thing, and I trust both of them. Paul’s smarter than I ever hope to be. I got into a friendly debate with him today about whether Dr. Jekyll is the ego or the superego. He says Jekyll is the superego, and I say he’s the ego and Dr. Lanyon is the superego. We agreed to come early tomorrow so we can ask Wilson. Argh, I should have asked Garrett! He’s the junior. Okay, well I think I’ll run down to the library and see if I can get The Woman Who Rides Like A Man. ‘Tis the season. ‘Bye. December 5, 2006 I’m pretty stressed out right now. I’m working to keep Amy from Paul’s throat and to keep favor with her at the same time. It’s hard. Really hard. She’s actually mad at me now, because of a rather stupid decision I made today in English. Amy’s been saying that Paul has no excuses and that his story is utter bullshit. I realized last night, we don’t know his story. Any number of things could have happened. So I asked him in English (over analytical essays), “So what exactly happened this summer with you and Amy?” He paused. “I’ll tell you at lunch.” I nodded. “Okay.” “Where do you want to meet?” I considered. “Your locker.” “Okay.” There was no freaking way I was passing that up. This is one way to settle this once and for all. I knew Amy would be pissed off, though. I was totally right. It didn’t matter how much I told her that this was for my own purposes and she had nothing to do with this. She was still really mad. I let her cool off and went to go meet Paul. I leaned against the lockers next to him and said, “Okay. Explain this to me.” He went through the whole story, from his side. It was just an interesting as getting Alex’s side when he and Amy broke up. From Paul’s view, I was totally right. He was busy! He told me himself, “She would call me, and I wasn’t always there. I had stuff to do.” Also, he solved one mystery. He said that they never picked up when she called because it would say a call from another state, and they would assume Amy was a telemarketer. That explains why it took her like three weeks to get ahold of him. We walked around the school, talking about this. It was a great thing for me, because it gave me the opportunity to ask some very frank questions. I got to say to him exactly what Amy’s been saying. I felt bad sometimes, because Paul really did get blindsided and he was expected to know what Amy wanted. “How am I supposed to know that?!” he exclaimed, when I was explaining about what the letter from him meant to her. I really do agree, and I feel sorry for him in a way. Now I have the whole story straight. Turns out I was right about all that Paul was thinking. It kills me, because he actually did like her. I asked him very specifically. “Do you like her?” I asked quietly, as we were going down the 5200 hallway. “Not anymore!” he said emphatically. I can understand. We’ve all been through hell. I confessed to him how hard this has been on me. He got it. “Hmmm. That does put you in a bad position,” he said thoughtfully. This always happens. Why did it have to be Paul? We’re great friends. So here’s how everyone feels. Amy is pissed off because he didn’t keep up the relationship and sent no letters, but Paul thinks that she should have given him the benefit of the doubt and not automatically assumed that he was an awful guy plotting to break her heart, and that the letter could have been lost or something. Paul thinks that it’s not fair that Amy should have “free license” (as he put it) to hook up with guys but he’s still expected to write letters. I also figured out why he asked so many questions before, when he was fighting with Amy. “I like to make a decision based on fact, so I wanted to be sure,” he said to me. I knew he hadn’t mean to hurt her. I’ve told her a million times. He’s not like that. Paul took the news that she thinks he “would have treated her like property” not all that well. He was really genuinely hurt by that. I had to say quickly that I didn’t think that about him. This is just Amy being pissed off and talking. Needless to say, this ain’t good. Our conversation ended with Paul asking me what to do. I thought. “Give her space,” I finally said. It’s true. Maybe she’ll forgive him soon, and not be like I was. Hell, I’m going to step in if this turns into an eleven-month sabbatical. I don’t think that’ll be it, though. It’s funny how last school year Amy and I were grappling with almost the same thing, but she was doing it by sharing with me and I was doing it by... well... crying at “You’re Beautiful” or something. Now I just have to find some way of telling Amy all this, if she ever forgives me, too. Wish me luck. December 6, 2006 I finally got Amy to calm down and listen to me, and she ended up forgiving me. Well, it’s cool. I know she was never really mad at me. She’s mad at Paul. She listened to his side today (from me) and somehow got madder. I don’t get that at all. His side was supposed to show that he didn’t mean anything bad from what he did. It sucks that they won’t stop fighting. I like and trust Paul a lot, but Amy’s my best friend. Whose side am I supposed to choose here? I skipped second hour today because of an orthodontist appointment. I really didn’t want to. I needed to talk to Paul, because Amy was really mad earlier today, and she made me late. Whatever. My friend is more important than some stupid appointment, so I just told Mom I couldn’t get out the 6200 hallway quickly enough, and that it was really crowded. During third hour, I got back just time to drop off my trumpet and catch Mr. Fox’s class going to the library. Apparently we were going to a poetry slam. I expected to be bored, but it was really good. There was this one black girl who was REALLY good. She was powerful. I loved her poem. The leader of the slam did a poem about when he was a wrestler and the team’s relationship with a custodian, causing me to make several sarcastic comments at the expense of wrestlers to Lisa. I say they’re a bunch of soft meatheads, but I think if you think hard enough, you can guess the real reason. What the hell happened to me last December? Lunch wasn’t pleasant, but at least Amy chilled out. You know what I wish? I wish I could be like one of her other friends, who say that Paul’s a loser, which is what she wants to hear right now. Okay, yeah, I’m jealous. I feel bad that I can’t be that person for her, but Paul’s a good guy and I’m not going to just ignore that. He’s my friend. I knew that if I pushed hard enough and talked enough, she would forgive me. We went around and around in circles, literally and in our stupid conversation. I told her how apologetic Paul had been and how he got really blindsided, so that’s why he asked so many questions. The fact that he wanted to make a decision based on fact (i.e. not feelings) seemed to make her madder than anything else (who knows why). Took me forever to convince her it wasn’t as personal as she made it out to be. When we stopped outside the 6200 hallway some time later and sat down, she started talking about how she felt like crap. I knew then that it was safe to sit down, because she was done being mad at me and now she needed a friend. After awhile, we started laughing about what awful luck we have. It wasn’t really funny, we were just feeling sorry for ourselves. She’s in this complex situation with Paul and I like a seventeen-year-old junior. “We never thought it would work out this way,” I commented, staring straight ahead. Amy made some remark about how things worked out for me. “Me? Me?! Look what I ended up with!” I exclaimed, meaning, Look what actually ended up happening with the Walrus. Amy laughed, finally laughed. “Nothing.” “Right.” After awhile she said, “You know, if he had asked me out a week earlier, none of this would have happened. We would have gone out, and none of this would have happened.” “Yeah.” I didn’t want to rub it in, but I couldn’t resist saying, “You know, if you had taken my advice and told him a week earlier, then none of this would have happened.” “What?” “Yeah. Because he asked you out in response to you telling him you liked him. So if you had taken my advice, none of this would have happened. See, that was our bet,” I added, reminding her. “I kiss the Walrus, you tell Paul.” Amy nodded, remembering. Things were so simple last June. Seriously. There was nothing to be discussed, really. Me and the Walrus was the biggest thing that happened. Fuzz was there to help. I realized, this is the same situation that happened with the Walrus. I tried to protect one of my good friends (for a different reason) and threw my whole friendship with Amy on the line. I hate to be obstinate, but I’m right. I guess you learn perspective when you grow up in the same house with Dad. Things looked up after that. I went to Earth Science, where we took a test. I’m not sure I did well, because I was thinking. Finishing with a half-hour to spare, I decided that Earth Science is an insult to my intelligence. This was one of the questions on the test. 62. A biomass energy source uses material that was once: A. living B. dead C. massive D. happy No joke. I snorted with laughter when I read that. Mr. Drake is a funny guy. He really likes me these days because I’m actually responsible and I don’t do anything strange. Mr. Drake decided today that some of the guys in the class have too much energy, so he made them do pushups. It was so funny. A girl beat the Walrus’s friend Marcus. Funniest thing that’s ever happened to me in a science class. Have I mentioned that I’m glad Mrs. Goebbel is out of my life? Damn atheist liberals. Mr. Roberts was unfortunately not conducting today, because he was conducting “trip interviews”. He pretty much just tells you how much money you’ve made. I don’t have to work any thrift shop hours because Roberts subtracted the forty-eight dollars from my total, which was very nice of him. I don’t think he would have done it if I hadn’t apologized to him. I had to stand outside yesterday with the A last names and some of the Bs. I got to talk to Nick Blogin, though. He went to Tappan, too. Not a bad guy. I had a word with Mr. Smith at practice club for switching him. Mr. Smith laughed. Band was really funny today. I love my chair so much. Even though Zach is a little bit of a downer, I’m low enough to laugh with Ashley, Matt, Peter, and David Barrie but high enough to joke around with Jay, Caleb, and Blake. I can’t wait until Zach challenges. Then it’ll be perfect. It was too bad that Toner wasn’t at Latin, because I was wanting to make fun of Luis’s drastic new haircut with him. The guy got a buzz. He walked by me on my way to the band room and it didn’t occur to me that it was him until halfway down the hall. “Luis looks like he’s joining the military,” Ashley snickered to me in band. I glanced at the tuba section, even though I had glanced several times before. “Yep. That’s quite the buzz.” I was so disappointed that Toner didn’t show. We could have had endless laughs. Our Latin class was actually quiet today, however. We did a parsing F.L.A.I., which I think I did really good at. I’m awesome at parsing. Once again, thanks to Mr. Vogel. It was mostly some verbs, anyway. I gave Garrett a freebie on one verb, because he didn’t know and he’s a good guy. Hey, it’s not his fault he’s dyslexic. We discussed books, immortality, and the gods with Mr. Julius afterwards. He knows a lot. No wonder he’s my favorite teacher. Wednesday night means a trumpet lesson. Hopefully Mom won’t be stupid about it and will let me drive. I’ll just have to promise to drive super slow so she won’t freak out. You would think I drive like a nut by the way they act. If not, I have a good CD we can listen to on the way. That’s all for now. Homework now, I think. December 7, 2006 I’m feeling a little queasy right now but I know why. I drank a Coke in Latin and Coke makes me feel really sick lately. It happened when we went to Outback Steakhouse for Michael’s birthday, too. I had to literally lay down on the floor last time (this time too) in the bathroom. Guess I’m not drinking any more Coke, then. We’re watching Troy in Latin now. I don’t think I’m going to tell Mom or Dad because it’s rated R and last time a teacher showed an R-rated movie they went crying to the administration. I have no desire to get Mr. Julius busted, because he’s the coolest. In Earth Science, we went to the computer lab to do an assignment. It was really very easy. I was on the last page with twenty minutes left and I thought, “Oh, yeah. I’m going to finish this.” I was happy because we have two days to do it, so that means I can just play games tomorrow. I finished the last question with triumph and strode up to Mr. Drake, who was patrolling for people playing games. I offered him the paper. He took it and shook his head in disbelief. “You are just... wow, Claire,” he said, looking through my work. “You are incredible.” He high-fived me. I glowed. That has got to be the all-time highest compliment a teacher was ever given me. From Mr. Drake, too! “It’s not hard,” I mumbled modestly. He looked at me with pride. “No. It’s not.” I went back to my seat after he told me just to hang on to it, because it was going to go into a packet. Incredible. Wow. From Mr. Drake, that’s about the highest you can go. Another good part of the day was in Geometry (believe it or not). Mr. Kim put up grades today. I looked for mine. 113681: 95.71%- A. I grinned. I haven’t gotten an A in math since about sixth grade. Sure, I dropped from my perfect 100.00%, but I suppose that’s to be expected. Also, we didn’t get much done because some fool or other pulled the fire alarm. People were kind of pissed off, because it was about twenty degrees, but I wasn’t that cold. A good first hour. My speech was today, too. I went straight after Lisa, so it was kind of weird, because she killed me off in a eulogy. Mr. Fox said I had risen from the dead to make my speech. Not many people laughed. For a guy who specializes in communication, he has the biggest monotone ever, which is why his jokes aren’t funny. They laughed at how Fictional Person Bertha died, though. Poor woman was killed by a rabid horse. I didn’t speed up or anything, so it went really well. I owe Mr. Fox a lot. I have two tests tomorrow, one in English and one in Geometry. People complain when tests are on the same day, but I like it. That means you don’t do anything in any of your classes. Usually it’s the slackers who don’t study, anyway. We’re finally done with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and we’re doing A Midsummer Night’s Dream next. Hopefully this one won’t be a downer like Romeo and Juliet was. Well, it’s a Shakespearean comedy, so probably not. I remember when we acted it out in fifth grade. I was Demetrius (because we were drawing from a hat) and my neighbor (who I liked back then) was Helena and my sworn true love. The class thought it was hilarious. It was, really. Okay, now Alex is calling me, so I’m going to go. December 8, 2006 It’s Friday today. I’m listening to “My Sundown”, from the Michael Beaulieu Collection of Music. Kind of a sad song. Oh well. I had a pretty good day today. Not a high-profile day. I really hope we don’t go to church today for some reason. That’s the terrible thing about having our grandparents around. They’re diehard Catholic, so we end up being dragged along to stuff we would normally just skip. My tests were okay today. Geometry was the hardest, but then again, I’m a math retard. The English test was deep, but not all that hard. We knew it was going to be really deep when he announced an open-book test. I did all right. The vocabulary was the hardest, probably because I didn’t study that. We read a boring speech in third hour. It was the commencement speech for Harvard or Stanford or some place like that. Mr. Fox added his life experiences as a semi-successful writer of screenplays. We had to hear a lot about that. I’m going to remember Mr. Fox, though, because I have a feeling he might become famous once he gets his big break and puts out a hit. Then I can tell everyone he taught my Speech class when I was fifteen. Lunch was normal enough. I helped Anne of St. Francis and our friend Luke Mahowald with their Latin parsing. They’re both in Mr. Vogel’s sixth hour Latin class. They really need to learn their noun endings. Well, they’re only freshmen right now, so they have some time. I told them to tell Mr. Vogel who helped them out with their parsing in their time of Latin peril. I miss that class a lot sometimes, other times not so much. Mr. Drake threw another computer-generated assignment at us today. I finished it easily, but my computer was being stupid so I couldn’t do anything else. I wonder what kind of grade I have in that class these days. A bunch of people are failing. Actually failing. I want to shake everyone by the shoulders and scream, This is EARTH SCIENCE, people! If we were in Mr. Drake’s Phy Sci class, maybe, but honestly. Get a work ethic. For example, next time Hurley asks to copy my homework I am going to hand that guy a book. I’m sick of it. No more of it. We watched a film of “Gypsy Dance” in band. We nailed that song today. Mr. Roberts said we’re “in good shape”. Yeah, for a band with the most awful low brass ever and the slacker trumpets. We’re not really slackers. We just joke around a lot, so he thinks we don’t take anything seriously. For example, on our music, Ashley and I draw huge, obnoxious lines to the stuff that we probably won’t forget to do, like go back to the sign on the D.S al Fine. Whoever gets that music next is going to have a few laughs. I think I did good on the parsing quiz, because we corrected them today in class. I didn’t do my own, but I remember what I wrote. I just might have screwed up on the participle identification. My person was stupid. Half the time they would get the verb identification right, and the rest of the time they would write “nominative” where verbs should go. I told Garrett I didn’t get that person. He laughed. We’re finishing Troy. Mr. Julius says he thinks Brad Pitt is a brilliant cast as Achilles. He’s good, I guess. Before we started, Garrett and I were talking. We were talking about lockers or something, when he changed the subject. “Oh, look, a distraction,” he said placidly, pointing over my shoulder. I knew better than to look. “What?” “Take a look.” “Great, now I want to look,” I said. He pointed again. “Stare over there for at least five seconds.” I turned and saw nothing (of course) and then braced myself for some trick of Garrett’s. No pain or anything came. I turned around and Garrett was looking at me like normal. “Did you do something to me?” I asked. He nodded. I took stock of myself. I felt normal. Garrett pointed down at my jacket. A dollar lay there, the dollar that he owed me. Smiling, I said, “Thanks.” Funny guy, Garrett. Now I’m home and hoping we don’t go. Or if we do go, we don’t go to confession. I hate confession. I don’t even know why. Probably because I don’t like admitting I’m wrong. Well, it’s my nature. Maybe I can talk Dad out of making us go. What excuse should I make up? I could be sick, I suppose, but that only works a few times. Also, I unfortunately look healthy for the time being. Maybe I should break an arm. Just kidding. Whatever. I’m out. December 9, 2006 I’ve had a good night. For once, I was out on a Saturday night. I’m about an inch away from actually having a life. Well, it wasn’t huge or anything. I went to Christy’s house, because our parents went out to dinner. Christy is my oldest friend ever. We met in preschool. The first friend I’ve ever had. She’s really fun and easy to talk to. I always think it’s interesting to get the other side of stories, right? Well, tonight I got the other side of the soap opera that was Clauge. I’ve been getting Amy’s side, which, sadly, is usually slanted. A lot of it had to do with what actually happened with Melanie and Amy and the Fairy March. It was very interesting. Turns out there was this whole side I hadn’t known about, a side concerning a Home Ec. class that Amy wasn’t in, but Melanie and the Fairy March were in. Christy described it as a “breaking point”. Apparently one day, the Home Ec. teacher decided to retire halfway through the year, so they got this long-term sub guy. Christy, Melanie, and the Fairy March used to go into the knitting room and do nothing. Melanie one day said that she wanted to skip the next day, but when they said they didn’t want to, she just said she wanted to go to her locker, just to go someplace. Christy said she didn’t want to go, but the Fairy March said, “Yeah, okay, I’ll go.” When Amy heard about this, she blew up at Melanie. I had to kind of laugh at that, because going to someone’s locker isn’t really recognized as a crime. They only went for food, anyway. I hated to admit it, but that sounded like Amy. “They did go out, though, didn’t they?” I asked, drawing from what I knew. “Yeah, maybe they ‘went out’, like, once.” Now, during this time Wyatt was totally in love with Melanie. Ted, Kevin, and Charlie also had crushes on her. After the thing with the Fairy March didn’t pan out, she went out with Wyatt just for the heck of it. Hence, the balance was once again upset. Wyatt and Charlie both knew they liked the same girl, and they were mad at each other for it. Amy wasn’t talking to Melanie because of what she had done with the Fairy March. Melanie went out with all these people, according to Christy. “Even Charlie?” I asked, surprised. “He told me once he was the only one Melanie never gave a chance to.” “Yeah, they might have gone out for awhile. I don’t really remember.” “But Charlie went out with Lili, right?” Christy thought, then nodded. “Yeah, Lili whose name is Patty.” At that I started howling with laughter. Lili Wolford’s given name is Patty Patterson. I had forgotten that. “This is such a soap opera,” I gasped. We laughed about that for awhile. Christy continued. “Charlie and Lili went out for... quite some time. Meanwhile Lili was going out with-” “Like everyone,” I finished, knowing firsthand how Lili was. Christy nodded. “I can’t even picture twelve-year-old versions of them,” I said. “Like Wyatt? He was, like, born old. And Charlie? I can’t even picture him.” Christy shrugged. “Pretty much just shorter and with less facial hair.” I laughed. She’s got a point. And I think I might have seen a picture of everyone at some time or another, in Amy’s old yearbooks. Seventh grade was really when everything hit the fan and not in a good way. Maybe it was best for everyone when Melanie moved away. “Drama just seems to follow Melanie,” Christy said thoughtfully. I nodded. “Amy calls her ‘Drama in a Bottle’.” It’s very true. I’m actually glad it’s Saturday for once. I get to sleep in tomorrow. I didn’t today, because I was going to the Salvation Army to make Michael look good. He had an interview to go to, so he sent me and another kid down to the Salvation Army. As his little sister, I’m the first person to have him look good. It’s kind of a dead crowd down there. NO ONE talks. No one at all. People who don’t talk intimidate me more than people who do. You know, I’m just going to note this. It’s been bothering me. It’s almost like ever since I kicked the tuba vendetta, it did the exact opposite. Hell no, this can’t happen to me again. I’ve said it before. I can’t spend my whole life admiring Luis Anderson from a distance. What the hell happened to me last December? What the hell in that month and a half could have happened? There are times where I honestly think I might have loved him. The only good thing that can be said is that he left, honestly. If it only took a month and a half to make me fall as hard as I did, imagine what a year would have done. I’m hoping that it’s simply the time of year, because it’s been a year soon. That’s still amazing to me. Seems like yesterday. Okay, people are coming. Goodbye. December 10, 2006 Well, it’s another Sunday night here in Ann Arbor. I got Mr. Wilson’s three-page analytical essay done. I just HAD to pick Dr. Lanyon, who has got to be the hardest topic ever created. Hopefully Mr. Wilson will think it’s good. I’m going to run it by Paul, too. He’s the only one I trust to proofread my essays, since he’s the smart guy. Good thing it’s only the rough draft. I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow, for reasons unknown. There’s nothing spectacular going on, but it’ll be nice to be back. I’m just going to shrivel up and die over winter break, aren't I? I can’t even survive the weekend. I had the hardest time with summer, honestly. Well, according to everyone, that was the Summer From Hell. Amy and Paul got screwed up, and something happened to me, I think, after Amy left. I got bored and now I’m darker than I was. Seriously. I read back on this thing, and I think of my fourteen-year-old self as a bit of a loser. It’s only been seven months. How could I have changed that much? Weird how that works. I’ve been doing some thinking on the thing I wrote my final paragraph on last night. I don’t think it’s going to be a relapse. It’s just the time of year, because the twenty-first is coming up. Yeah, I remember. His last day was supposed to be on the sixteenth, but it ended up being the twenty-first because Roberts couldn’t find a spare tuba. Maybe it’s just the memory. As Toner once said wisely to me one day, time heals all wounds. This is kind of unrelated, but I remember the fifteenth of last year. It was our first snow day, kind of. They told us to go home after fifth hour. There was a minor blizzard going through Washtenaw County and we got a lot, but not enough to cancel school the next day. I remember that because we were sitting in band and Luis said, “I wish that after we go home it would snow all night,” because he was switching that Monday. There was a monster snowball fight in the junior parking lot, juniors versus seniors. I didn’t fight, but it was fun to watch. I didn’t feel like getting beamed by some senior that plays baseball with an iceball. Our concert is kind of soon. It’s the eighteenth or the nineteenth or something. I have it entered in my cell. Should be fun. I’m making my peace with the stupid dress. Dresses have never been my thing, so I doubt I’ll ever get to like it, but I only have to wear it less than five times this year, so whatever. Let’s see... once for our winter concert, once for Festival, once for Bands in Review, and I think that’s it. That’s nice. Only three times. It’ll be interesting to see if Mr. Roberts is going to make us wear them on the Florida trip. They’re kind of hot, so hopefully not. I’m debating with myself weather or not I want to do my Earth Science homework, or just do it tomorrow during Speech. It’s only one question, but still, I’m feeling lazy tonight. Knowing Mr. Drake, it’s one really, really hard question, or it’s extremely open-ended. Eh, I’ll go check it out. Why not?

November 2, 2006 It started snowing today. Not just flurries, either, big flakes. I had to go down to the library to appreciate it. I love winter and snow and I can’t stand summer. It’s too bad it stopped, because it was actually kind of pretty. School was boring today. We took a quiz in Wilson’s class. I thought I was going to fail, but I snatched Arthur’s vocabulary and memorized it in a quick second. I ended up being the second one done, even though I forgot what “asperity” means. I guessed, since there was only one option left. I turned in my journals that I did for English, which I actually worked on. We went to the library today in Speech to get information on our topics for our “demonstration speeches”. I played Festive Fallout for the whole time. Mr. Fox never caught me, because Lisa and me and our friends sat in the back to avoid detection. Lisa and them are crazy, but they’re a lot of fun. Speech is no fun without Hurley, though. He’s still out. The Walrus says he’ll be gone until Tuesday. Poor guy. I miss him, because school’s no fun without him. I changed my seat to Lisa’s in Speech to sit next to him again, although I said it was to piss off Lisa. Funny how I realize that I’d do anything for him AFTER his dad kicks the bucket. I know he probably won’t be the same for awhile. Last night, I was really worried about him for some reason. I was sort of thinking along the lines of, what if he kills himself? or something like that. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slipped off the side of my bed, knelt, and prayed. I prayed hard for Hurley, his mom, and his little brother Jack, that they could be okay and learn to be happy again. Learn to heal. After I got back into bed, I felt better. More at peace. I guess it could have only have been God. I hope the Hurleys can bounce back from this. The Walrus and I were discussing it in Earth Science today. “So you heard too?” he asked. “Yeah,” I answered. “Two in the course of a year. This sucks.” He nodded, agreeing with me. We actually did a lab together today. He brought in some blonde chick to work with us, and I brought in Arthur. He’s the best guy to have around if you need someone to talk to (other than some guy who thinks he’s your boyfriend, for example). I would have worked with Samantha, but she decided to be sick today. I actually had fun, for a couple reasons. One was it was an easy lab and it took us about ten minutes. The other had to do with the blonde chick. I think the Walrus likes her! I just wanted to laugh my head off. He was totally hitting on her and not being smooth AT ALL. One of the properties used to classify rocks is the cleavage markings. I’m sure you can tell where that’s going. It was totally hilarious. For some reason, though, I was a little sad. I guess, even though I don’t like him anymore, in the end it’s going to be hard for me to let him go. He’s still the best guy ever, despite all the girls that hate him (for reasons I’ve never seen). Today in Latin, I did something that my Latin 1 class made me do last year. Continuing the tradition, I betted Michael Toner that he couldn’t keep quiet for a whole class period. Lauren and Mataeso did that to me last year, since I was a loudmouth. Michael Toner is the loudmouth of our class, just because he knows his stuff. I was loud because I liked to talk. He actually did it. I told him a minute before class ended, “Okay, you can talk now. You did very good.” The class was actually quiet for once. Something funny happened this morning with him and Amy. Before school, I hang out with Cam, Anne, and Amy across from where Garret hangs out with his friends. Michael sometimes walks by and says hello to both of us. Well, today he met Amy. I introduced them: “Amy, Michael Toner, tuba player. Michael, Amy Holler, euphonium player.” I let them talk and turned to Anne and Cam. While I was talking to them, I overheard her say, “Oh, yeah, the band needs tubas even more than euphonium players.” I glanced over her head and said, “No one needs tubas!” Amy knows I hate tuba players. I have a tuba vendetta, for reasons one could infer from reading this. Michael walked away a little while later, and I saw the look on Amy’s face. It was the “wow... he’s cute” look. “No,” I said abruptly. “There is no way.” Amy started laughing. She was laughing because I knew exactly what she was thinking. “He’s cute,” she said, although she really needn’t have said it. “That is a freshman, Amy.” “So?” “No tuba players! You know I hate tuba players!” “Yes, tuba players! I’ve always said I’ve always wanted to date a tuba player...” “No,” I said again. “That’s my freshman. No way. And I hate tubas.” “You do not,” she retorted. “You only have a vendetta against Sexy Li’l Convict.” Okay. She’s right. But hey. It’s easier to generalize. I realized recently, with Michael being our common acquaintance, it’s going to get around to him that I’m less than fond of him, if it hasn’t already. I’m over him, but not what he did. I seriously have no respect for him because he copped out. Maybe it’s because he’s high up in the tubas now, and it’s like he worked the system. No one should be allowed to do that. It’s just stupid and you don’t earn it. Okay, I might actually go study for my Earth Science test. November 3, 2006 Listening to “Closer to Free” and being happy it’s Friday. We also have a three-day weekend. Mr. Drake was the only person who assigned homework, although he says it’s “Monday night’s homework”. He gave us a test today. I don’t know how I did. I never do anymore. I did terrible on the last test, even though I thought I did good. It’s snowing again today. I can already tell it’s going to be a horrible winter. That’s okay, though. I think I’m an Eskimo at heart. Actually, according to my story I wrote a few years ago, our tribe is the Icehound tribe. I’m an Icehound, resistant to cold and bad up against heat. I should start something up like that again. Today wasn’t bad. Just a Friday. I think everyone was ready for the three-day weekend, including the teachers. We finally took our Pudd’nhead Wilson test in English. I actually didn’t read the whole book, I just did the study guides while Mr. Kim was talking about triangles. Hey, I had to. Today was also binder check day. I was nervous about that at first, but he handed back my binder and I got a ninety-seven out of a hundred. Cool. I’ll take that. I did better than Paul, even. He got eighty-nine out of a hundred. He had crap in the pockets of his binder, so that was probably it. I’m making my next speech on Wednesday. Crap. It should be easy, but I’m still nervous. I will never be okay with auditioning or public speaking. No matter how many times I do either. It probably has something to do with me being last chair last year. At Tappan, I was the best and I knew I was the best, so I was never nervous. Now that I’ve hit rock bottom, it’s not such a sure thing. Damn tuba players. Hurley keeps drifting in and out of Huron. I saw him after Speech, when he came into our class. “Hey,” I said, caught by surprise. He responded in this really, really quiet voice. “Hey.” I feel so sorry for him. Wyatt says he’s not doing that great. Well, I guess that’s understandable. His dad just died. I just hope he’ll be able to bounce back and become the guy we all know and love. Band was all right. Mr. Roberts was gone, for reasons I don’t know. So, therefore, MacArthur took over. As much as I complain about Roberts, I really appreciate him once MacArthur starts running the show. Today, his theme was “the moment”. We never really figured out what he meant by his “moment”, except that both Henry, Matt, and I didn’t follow the “moment”. Well, it wasn’t my fault. I was talking to Caleb and Ashley. I really think Caleb is warming up to me lately. He’s been kind of sarcastic to me this year for some reason. Well, I dropped my mute during the song, and they thought it was funny. “Claire,” Blake said exasperatedly. “Tape it to your trumpet!” I laughed and told him, “It’s going to happen this year again, isn’t it? For the third year in a row?” “Yes!” he said. I really did drop it in eighth grade, too. In the middle of “Barrier Reef”. That was a damn good song, but my mute lost suction and fell in the middle of our concert. Same with last year. Only it was worse last year for obvious reasons. Sometimes it’s not bad to have Blake around, just because there aren’t that many people who went to Tappan, so we can’t talk with the Clauge people about middle school. And Blake’s better these days. Personally, I think both of us would just like to forget Tappan. I definitely would. Latin was fun, as it usually is. I did good on Mr. Julius’s quiz. He had graded mine by the end of class and told me I did good. We didn’t get down to much translating, because Garret, Michael, and myself were talking. Mr. Julius has given up. Translating time is when we learn all about each other. Those two guys are kind of interesting. Garrett is a seventeen-year-old junior because he has something like dyslexia and went to Rudolph Steiner. Michael is actually only a month younger than me, and he was home schooled for awhile. Michael could be a sophomore and Garrett could be a senior. He’s only eight months younger than my brother Michael. I could technically be a freshman, but Mom and Dad decided to send me to kindergarten when I was four, almost five, instead of five, almost six. I got “the power” today for the second day in a row. “The power” is Mr. Julius’s system of cards, and you pick who’s being called on. I requested it yesterday for Toner’s test. My name just came up today. The gods like me, as Mr. Julius says. “Who’s up?” he asked me. “Adrian,” I said, grinning. Adrian is this black guy who sits in the back. I love to mess with him. He can actually be pretty nice, but he ends every sentence with, “I’m just kidding.” To piss him off, I called on him every time yesterday. Adrian exploded. “Nuh-uh. I refuse to go up there, ‘cause she called on me like a million times yesterday.” I howled with laughter. I just wanted to see how many times it took to make him snap. I guess I got my answer. I did choose Garrett for the music selection during the quiz, though. He’s cool enough for that. I meant to pick someone else, but Garret’s name slipped out of my mouth for some reason. He picked Ray Charles, then Eric Clapton. One more reason why I like Mr. Julius. He listens to good music, and then plays it during the quiz. David’s surgery on his eye was today. It should be going on right now, in fact. I hope he does okay. He’s a pain in the ass, but he’s still my brother. I appreciate my family every time someone dies. The eye that got hit while I was at Interlochen is going fuzzy, so he needed surgery. It really sucks. He can’t get a break, even though I claim that I’m the unlucky sibling. David is the true unlucky sibling. He got everything bad. Maybe we just look bad next to Michael. He’s going somewhere, he’s going to be successful. I know that I’ve felt inferior to him almost my whole life. Everywhere he goes, he does something noteworthy. David and I always end up looking dumber and less successful. Sometimes it pisses me off that Michael’s the best at whatever he does. School, sports, even driving! Maybe it will be better for everyone when he leaves, at least for me, because then I can’t compare anymore. I’m going to go relax. It’s Friday, after all. November 4, 2006 David’s going to be okay. All the fluids behind his eye reabsorbed. Mom and Dad are saying it’s a miracle. Maybe it is. He was lucky, anyway. They still want to watch him, but the doctors say he’s going to be fine. I think everyone’s just glad he’s not going to go blind. I just realized I better throw together some quality crap this weekend, because Wednesday isn’t that far away and we need to have our outline ready on Monday. It’s Mr. Fox’s way of making our lives miserable, even if we did sign up for Friday. Lisa signed up for Friday because she knew she wouldn’t be there that day. Like I said, hilarious, but out of her mind. It just hit me yesterday that the first quarter is over. That was a fast one. I wonder what my grades are. For one of the first times, I’m not sweating over my math grade. The C- did it last quarter. Well, Mr. Samulak’s tests were hard, which you wouldn’t expect since he’s such a goof. Mr. Kim is almost easier. Plus he gives less homework. Usually just one book work assignment or one worksheet, not both like Mr. Samulak did. I do miss him, though. He was a good guy. I say hello to him if we happen to pass in the hall. Well, it’s Saturday and I’m bored. I translated the passage that Mr. Julius was after me to translate while I was talking with Garrett. This one was about Roman dinner preparations. Big thrill. The slave-women nearly burned down the manor and the mistress got pissed off. The bright side is that now I’m prepared for the F.L.A.I. that we’re having (the equivalent of a Mr. Julius quiz). I guess there’s nothing left to say. Until next time. November 6, 2006 I officially don’t like three-day weekends. Too boring. I had to stoop to doing Mr. Drake’s homework before five o’clock. Turns out, it’s a damn good thing I did. It was all this stuff with charts and graphs that we had to copy and describe. The slackers in Earth Science with me won’t be able to throw it together during second hour or whatever it is that they do. It’s almost odd only doing my homework for myself. It’s an extra motivation that Hurley usually copies me, because if I don’t do it, both of our GPAs are going down. Today I got my permit, my actual level one drivers permit that doesn’t expire until I graduate or something. You get some odd characters down at the Secretary of State’s office. It’s close to Ypsilanti, so that might explain it. You’re never quite normal if you come out of Ypsi. We actually had to come back home because Mom forgot my birth certificate, and then we had lost our place in line. Good thing I don’t need to come back for another six months. I’m glad tomorrow’s Tuesday. Except that Friday is the Day Of Ultimate Doom For Claire Beaulieu. Yep. The tenth. Audition day. Now that’s it’s right here in front of us, I’m scared as hell. I know I’m going to do better than last year, but the memory is still there. I keep thinking, what if I’m last again? Maybe I should just keep telling myself that Matt isn’t going to beat me, because he just got his braces off. David Barrie isn’t serious enough to beat me. I have more experience than Peter Dalack and Jay Bouma, and Henry is kind of like David. Just kind of stupid. Maybe I’ll maintain my chair. So that still leaves the people above me. Caleb, Ashley, and I are all about equal now, except that they have better rhythm than me. Blake isn’t someone I can beat anymore. Laja I don't think I’ll beat either, because he got really good at some time last year, even though he was down at the end with me and Luis. Zach is a favorite of Roberts’s, and that’s why he’s first chair. I don’t have a prayer there. He really doesn’t have good tone, so I think Laja might beat him. I kind of hope so. That would be a real leap for Laja, and he deserves it. Last night, I went to go see a movie with Amy. It was Marie Antoinette. I can say right now that it was just about the worst movie I’ve ever seen. The music totally didn’t match with the story. It was this rock-punky stuff, which didn’t really go with seventeen-hundreds France. All through the movie I was thinking, “Okay, are they being put to death yet?” They were speaking with American accents! And their kids had French accents! It’s movies like that that really make me glad I’m French Canadian. Speaking of French Canadian, some of the Beaulieus are coming on Wednesday. Yep. Dad’s side of the family. My grandfather had a stroke, so they’re moving him and our grandmother out to Seattle, where my aunt lives. My grandparents, my aunt, and Uncle Mike are going to be stopping by on their road trip to Seattle (yep- they’re driving it, go figure). It should be interesting. Lucky it’s the good Beaulieus, not the Alcoholics Anonymous Beaulieus. Well, I should go practice to offset the Doom that is this Friday. November 7, 2006 I made an... interesting decision today during band, one that I followed through on, too, I’m sorry to say. I’m not sure whether it will end up being the right choice, but I had to do something. It started early in band, when I was warming up. Toner came wandering over. He didn’t look all that happy. I turned around to face him and he started talking. “Luis might be quitting band, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” he started. That mildly shocked me. “He’s quitting?” I said incredulously. “He might be. I sort of want to cry because he’s been... an odd sort of inspiration, sort of,” Toner said. After he went back to the tuba section, and odd thought hit me. It’s happening again, only this time with another impressionable freshman. Michael Toner made the same mistake I did. He got too attached to Luis, and now Luis is leaving. Halfway through “Gypsy Dance”, I knew what I had to do. It was time to tell Toner the whole story. Just so he would know he’s not the only one. We continued the topic in Latin. Toner told me he had just given up the struggle for first chair and just said, “Yes. You’re first chair.” It had never occurred to me that Toner enjoyed the battle. The guy was almost crushed. “Would you miss him if he left?” I asked quietly. Toner hesitated. “Yeah.” That was the sign I needed. “You’re like me. I took it hard when Luis left the trumpet section, because I really liked him.” Great. This was the hard part. If I left out this part, then the rest wouldn’t make sense. “Actually,” I started, “I was... very attracted to him, so that’s why I took it hard.” Toner grinned. “You will not repeat that to Luis,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “Or anyone else. I’ve never told anyone but my closest friends that.” Hopefully I gave him something. Toner doesn’t deserve what I went through. It really sucks that Luis is his hero. Maybe the vendetta is deserved. I always say that in the end, he’s nothing but a quitter. At least, if he does quit, then Toner gets the chair he deserves. Well, on the plus side of the day, Hurley’s back. He’s... well, I wouldn’t say normal, but as normal as can be expected. I could tell the poor guy was trying to act like everything was fine, everything was normal. I just tried to be natural, and not talk to him in a hushed voice or anything. He asked me how I found out, though. I knew what he meant when he asked. “Mr. Fox told me,” I said. “Did he, like, announce it to the whole class?” I winced. “Yeah.” “Damn,” he swore. I don’t blame him. Really. We had a sub in English today. Mr. Wilson was gone, apparently. We’re watching Mean Girls to cover satire. I like that movie, actually. Michael went through a phase when he was about sixteen where he was obsessed with it. It was really quite hilarious. I like the part where one of the girls gets hit by the bus. Well, Anne and Cam FINALLY kissed. For real this time. Last time was just a false alarm. Or the cheek or something. Anne told me about it last night. I was happy, I guess. They’re meant to be together. I know that Cam and Anne is going to last longer than Cam and I would have. Today, during practice club, I told Cam of my plan to kiss him during the D.C. trip. Turns out he had been planning the same thing, but neither of us had the guts to do it. We were strange kids. In Latin, we did the National Latin Exam. A practice one, that is. I got about an 85% out of forty questions. Poor Garrett got about 50%. Well, I suppose it’s not his fault. The guy’s dyslexic! We had a good time today. After our National Latin Exam practice, we talked for the rest of the time. He was telling me about this thing he did when he was in fifth grade where he had to Greek wrestle. He lost because the other guy kneed him in the chest. Ouch. It came from me reading his shirt. That shirt looked amazing on him. Garrett can pull off the tighter shirt look, better than most guys can. Recently, I found out that Toner, Garrett, and myself are all in the 6200 hallway during first hour. I know Garrett is there during that time, but I didn’t realize that Michael was there, too. Garrett scared the crap out of me today. I was walking down the 6200 hallway after Geometry, minding my own business, when suddenly someone hit me on the shoulders. I yelped and jumped practically out of my skin. Garrett grinned at me and continued down the hall. Have I mentioned how much it sucks that he’s seventeen and I’m only fifteen? Now, Mr. Kim’s insane math assignment calls. Unfortunately. November 8, 2006 Well, I’m doing this now, since everyone comes in a couple hours. I really like the song David’s playing, “Days Go By”, although I would never admit it. Allegedly, I hate Keith Urban. Whatever. I might steal that song from the CD he’s playing. Today was good. Nothing special. I scored seven higher on the National Latin Exam than I did the last time. Garrett got exactly the same score. 58%. I’m sure Toner kicked all our asses. He’s the smart one. Mr. Julius was telling us during Latin about his very first year teaching. He actually had to take mental leave a little after the second quarter started. His very first day, a kid threw a desk at him, his window got broken, and there was a bomb threat, so everyone got moved into the football stadium. All on the first day. He also told this really funny story about how a kid was up in his face every single day, and one day he snapped. Mr. Julius grabbed the guy’s hat and threw it out in the hall. Just like that. I cracked up. Mr. Julius will talk forever if you get him on the right subject. Band was even more fun then usual. Mr. Roberts came in and gave us his trademark “disappointed speech”. Then he did something totally counterintuitive. He said that it was “individual practice time”, only he didn’t have us get out our instruments and we were just supposed to finger or something. MacArthur was supposed to be rehearsing the orchestra people. Now, as one might expect, we did this for about five minutes before we started thinking, “Screw this.” Blake, Caleb, Ashley, and myself all talked for awhile, and then we went about our business. Mostly homework business. I cut across the band room (not at all inconspicuously) to the tuba section to borrow Michael Toner’s Geometry book. Blake and Caleb helped me with my proofs, since they’re in Algebra 3/4 (a.k.a. Smart Math). I ended up getting my whole assignment done. I wish we had more days like that. I have to remember that Solo and Ensemble forms are due Friday. I’m doing a trumpet quartet with the obvious people. Also, I think I’m going to do a solo this year. I’ve got to get over my stage fright. They say that doing it more and more helps. Hopefully they’re right. I put the due date in my cell to remind myself. That cell has helped me in so many ways. Good thing Dad never cut me off when I lost it. We’re starting speeches in Speech. I had to throw together my Earth Science homework alongside Hurley (meaning I did it, he copied me) because I had only done half of the assignment. I shared my theory about why Mr. Drake hasn’t figured out that Matt Hurley is mooching homework answers off of Claire Beaulieu with him. He grinned when he realized that I was right. The student teacher isn’t going to notice a pattern. She’s dumb as hell. We’re going to run right over her. We’re going to have some fun second semester. Thanks to Mr. Roberts, I don’t think I have any homework. Yes! November 9, 2006 I’m done with my speech! I’ve noticed that public speaking is getting little by little less scary. I owe Mr. Fox a vacation to Florida or something for helping me with that. Now, I guess all we have to do is see if it works on my audition tomorrow. The only person who I think is more scared than me is Matt Stern. Rightfully so, since he just got his braces off. I’m going to miss him, I think. He’s fun to sit next to. Well, our grandparents are staying here until further notice. They’re moving to Seattle, but Dad didn’t want them to have to drive it, so he told them to just stay here for awhile. I wish Aunt Moe and Uncle Mike could have stuck around for a little while longer. Uncle Mike is in some ways much cooler than Dad, even though he’s Dad’s older brother. He elaborated on the rather amusing story of Dad in college, when he chucked a pumpkin into the crowd at the Rutgers’ Oktoberfest and he nailed the dean. Right in the head. Uncle Mike said that he remembered that the throw had very good form, even though they were all drunk off their asses. We had fun last night. I was exhausted today for some reason. It really didn’t help in math, when Mr. Kim gave us about a million proofs. I hate proofs. They’re really not hard, it’s just not really black and white like other math, and you have to think about why something is. I got my grade today in there. I ended up getting out of the first quarter with a B. Mom should be happy. I think I had a C+ last year in Mr. Samulak’s class at this time. Well, I blame it on stupid algebra and myself, not Mr. Samulak. I found out the other day that I’m going to be getting a B+ in Mr. Drake’s class. Knowing our class, I probably have the highest grade in the class. Mr. Drake is so sick of us already, and it’s only November. Today he made the Walrus’s friend Marcus go to the back of the room (the equivalent of being kicked out) because he was wearing an ungodly amount of cologne. I laughed so hard. I love that class sometimes. Mr. Roberts is still “disappointed with our effort”. Well, boo-hoo. That’s what you get for letting in so many freshmen. The only reason the trumpet section is so strong this year is because we have two returning juniors, four returning sophomores, three sophomores from Varsity Band, and only two freshmen. It works out that we’re better. The rest of the sections have way more freshmen than us, and they’re slowing us down. We did when we were freshmen in Concert Band. Toner is the one exception, because he’s a really good tuba player. Latin was significantly more boring than usual, due to the absence of Garrett. We knew he was going to be gone, because he was doing something having to do with the orchestra. I don’t know how that works, since he’s in choir, but whatever. I think I did better on my synopsis than I’ve been doing lately. I did awesome on ille and is, ea, id. 90% on both, and a retake tomorrow, since our class did bad on it as a whole. Well, Mr. Vogel is really helping me now, since he’s the one that forced me to learn my noun endings. I miss him. Anne said something the other day about “more hilarity with parsing”, and it made me realize I really loved that class. I miss it. Really. It’s not coming back, unfortunately, since (according to Paul) the stupid freshmen are slowing everyone down. Now I have to go review scales or something like that. November 10, 2006 Well, I did it. The auditions are done. I did... okay, I guess. My range went weird so I couldn’t hit A or B or anything above that. Blake did really good. I got to hear his audition while sitting in that little yellow chair. It feels like waiting for the gas chambers or something. Too bad David Barrie wasn’t here, because he would have made me look good. Now it’s the wait. I’m actually more nervous now, because I have no idea what chair I’m going to get. We’ll probably know on Tuesday, since percussion goes on Monday. Crap. I’m used to knowing what happened the day after, because that’s what happened my freshman year. I did better than that time, anyway. Mr. Roberts said there were “good things going on”. Still, I’m nervous. I wish I could just maintain my chair, and I would be happy. Really. Please don’t let me be last, God. Michael Toner looked like he was going to barf today during band, because that’s when the tuba auditions were. From what he told me, he’s got Luis beat. He said Luis did scales one octave. Toner messed up a few, but did them three octaves. He’s the better musician, so I hope he gets it. The only thing wrong with that is that I know for a fact that if Luis gets a bad chair, he’ll do what he does. Switch, or in this case, leave entirely. Which would leave Toner by himself, which he doesn’t want. Now that the dreaded audition is over with, I can talk about my day. I don’t think much happened. I got an A on Mr. Wilson’s Pudd’nhead Wilson test, with an eighty out of eighty-five. I beat Paul, even. I also got full points on the vocabulary quiz. I have such a good grade in that class. It’s amazing. Now we’re doing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Apparently “duality” is important, because now Mr. Wilson is obsessed with that instead of “irony”. I don’t know what to do now. Worry, I guess. November 11, 2006 Well, the verdict on how long our grandparents are staying has changed from “until further notice” to “indefinitely”. Apparently moving them out Seattle isn’t working out so good. There’s a whole thing with Aunt Moe and Uncle Frank, so Dad’s working on getting them to move here to Ann Arbor. Right behind us, in fact. That would be really cool. The Beaulieus live nowhere near to us. Uncle Mike lives halfway around the world, Aunt Moe lives in Seattle, and our grandparents used to live in New Jersey. The rest of Dad’s siblings are drug addicts or drunks, so we don’t want to be around them. It’s kind of interesting having them around. It means I can’t clash with David or anyone else, because we’re trying “to keep conflict to a minimum”. I’ve been trying to not play loud music and to help out. I hope things work out with the Beaulieus, because things are known go wrong with our family. I suppose Irish and French Canadian isn’t a happy mix in terms of judgment. Today is Saturday, but it really feels like Sunday for some reason. Maybe because we went to church. They didn’t sing anything good. Michael, David, and I started cracking up at the beginning, because the lady leading the songs sounded EXACTLY like this skit from Saturday Night Live. In the skit, she sings all these popular songs in this falsetto, opera-like voice. We lost it. It took me a minute to figure out what they were laughing at, but I cracked up, too, once it hit me. We seem to lose it a lot in church. There was this one time in church where they brought in a guest priest guy. Unfortunately for us, he sounded pretty much exactly like Seinfeld’s presentation of George Steinbrenner. To top it all off, Dad fell asleep with his head straight back. He was snoring. Seriously. His homily was also going absolutely nowhere. First he was going to the Philippines, and it reminded him of the time where he went to Philadelphia and they had glass windows that let out the heat and he was comfortable so that wasn’t much of a sacrifice. The whole thing was giant, run-on sentences like that. One of the most hilarious things I’ve ever seen in church. And then there was that guy from Africa who said “brothers and sisters” like “umbrellas and sisters”. He mumbled through his homily in an accent and then would shout, “Jesus Christ!” every once in awhile, freak out everyone in the congregation and then we would go back to not being able to tell what he was saying. Church always did have it’s bright points. Aside from the music, which I actually like a lot of the time. Great, I make it sound like I don’t believe in God. I do, I really do, but I’ll never be the hard-core church type, like Grandmom for example. This song reminds me of Michael. It’s pretty much the same thing that he once said to me. Whenever I listen to it, it’s always his voice telling me to keep going, not Daniel Powter’s. “Bad Day” was extremely popular for some reason last spring, then it died. Maybe that song will help me once Michael leaves for college, which, quite honestly, I am totally and completely dreading and have been totally and completely dreading since I knew what college was. I never want him to leave, because I know that we’ll never be as close as we are now when he leaves for the Air Force Academy or wherever. I want to see him every day. I guess AIM will help us here. Whatever. It’s not the same. I also like this song, “As Lovers Go” , Dashboard Confessional. I don’t know why. It sort of reminds me of Amy. Maybe it’s the line, “This is easy as lovers go.” She always told me love sucks. Damn you, Fairy March. I’ll be true I’ll be useful I’ll be cavalier I’ll be yours my dear And I’ll belong to you If you just let me through This is easy as lovers go So don’t complicate it by hesitating This is wonderful as loving goes This is tailor-made, what’s the sense in waiting? These lyrics keep getting longer, don’t they? Well, that’s a damn good song. When I look back in like five months or so, it’ll probably remind me of this time, right here. Whatever, “this time” is. The time last May, when I started this thing, has songs that remind me of it. “Never Let You Go” being one of them, “Unwritten” being another one. I was different even back then. Wow. Bob was right, this thing is interesting. You can really see how you change. Okay, I think I should go. Bedtime, maybe. November 14, 2006 I’m going to get my ass launched out of Concert Band if I don’t quit talking. Mr. Roberts actually screamed at me personally today. I swear, that man is jumping on us a lot more lately. On everyone, really. He kicked David Barrie out the other day because he “didn’t like his body language”. Luckily for me I caught my grades, because he had put on the report card, “Must stop disruptive behavior.” I’m not disruptive! I just laugh at what they say! I had an interesting experience in Earth Science today. It all started a few days ago, when a good friend of Amy and myself named Douda told her that a senior liked her. He told me that his name was Ethan. I went back to him today in Earth Science to get a last name, and he said to me, “Can you keep a secret from Amy?” Where have you been, Douda? Of course not. “Yeah, probably.” He glanced around shiftily. “I’ll tell you after class.” “No,” I said, walking down the row to his seat. “Tell me now.” He wouldn’t tell me right away, but he did say, “I have to tell you something. And you can’t tell Amy.” “Is it, like, serious?” I asked, a little worried. Douda considered. “It’s serious to me.” “Why don’t you just write it down?” I suggested. “Then I can read it.” He nodded, agreeing, and then tore off a sheet of paper. He wrote something I couldn’t see, folded it up a few times, then handed it to me. I opened it. Well... it kinda goes like this. I kinda like Amy, too. I stared at the paper, dumbfounded. Douda? Likes Amy? “Please don’t tell Amy,” he begged. I nodded and said, “Okay. Really?” Douda nodded and repeated, “Please don’t tell her.” “How much?” I asked, still trying to get over it. Thinking, he said, “On a scale of one to ten... about a seven-point-five.” “Ten being the most severe?” “Yeah.” Well, that was... interesting news. And yeah. I told Amy. I feel horrible, but I thought she deserved to know. I would be perfectly all right with her and Douda going out. Douda’s the nicest guy in the world (in fact he reminds me of Fuzz) and he’s exactly my age. Too bad she doesn’t like him that way. I had an okay rest of the day. It was okay, except for me getting decently screamed at during band. Blake found us some music for our trumpet quartet. Good ol’ Blake. He’s good to have. And I’m going to stop talking to them in band. I want to move up to Symphony Band, so I can’t afford for him to hate me. Latin was probably the best, of course. Toner showed up late because he was getting his uniform. The guys are so lucky. They get these nice tuxes, but the girls get the stupid dresses that either make your arms look fat or like you’ve been lifting weights. I came under the weightlifter heading, but still. I hate that dress. Right, Latin. Garrett and I shifted back one row because of the overhead projector. Then we analyzed verbs, and I finally learned my participles. That’s one less thing I’ll fail on the synopsis. Garrett and I did the verbs together, also known as I identified them and he told me how they were spelled so I could identify them. Well, he’s not all bad. Unfortunately, I tend to lose my train of thought whenever I meet his eyes. I decided recently that Garrett is the best-looking guy I’ve ever known personally. It really sucks I’m the age I am. Just for the record. Okay, maybe I’ll do my homework, or maybe not. I need a night off. November 15, 2006 It’s only four or so in the afternoon, but it feels so much later than that. That’s probably because it’s all cloudy. Good. I like clouds. I suppose I’m in the right state, then. Other than maybe Seattle. Or Alaska. In band I kept my mouth shut. It was hard, but I did it. I made sure to get the ticket money in on time, because I don’t want to give Roberts any more ammo. Hell, I’ve turned everything in on time. So how did I end up with a B+, not an A? Probably because I talk to much. Damn Roberts. English was great today. It was really the most interesting lesson yet. Mr. Wilson was talking about psychology and the id, the ego, and the superego. Well, he should know. He was a psychologist himself for four years. We talked about Freud and his dream interpretation. Too bad he traced everything back to sex. Now that I look back, that’s not so off for teenagers. I know I’ve had those kind of dreams. I already knew a little about the id, ego, and superego because of Garrett, who was talking about it one day. The id is the animal instinct, the ego is your sense of self and rational part, and the superego is the moral conscience and tries to create the perfect self. I think I’m functioning more on the ego than anything, because I’m very rational. Psychology is really interesting. Maybe it’s my calling. Who knows. Speech was not so great. I busted my ass trying to get all fifty-seven of Mr. Drake’s flashcards done in fifty-five minutes. I got it done by some miracle or a time continuum or something. It reminded me why I don’t take nights off, because then I fall behind. Hurley owes me his life or something by now. I swear he copies me waaaaay too much. Good thing Mr. Drake didn’t collect them or anything. He had us draw pictures of fossils and geodes and the like in the extra space on the cards. The Walrus drew something resembling a Goldfish in a square for “fossil”. I laughed. Ooh, we have a test in there tomorrow! Latin was also good. I think I actually passed my participle F.L.A.I., which is a miracle. Eh, once you get it, it’s not that hard. We exhausted Mr. Julius, so he gave us the last ten minutes to talk and he played “Stairway to Heaven”. I had my trumpet, so Garrett played it. “You know, my spit was on that mouthpiece,” I informed him. He shrugged and just wiped the mouthpiece. He got fingerprints all over my nice trumpet. Oh well. He can. Toner really needs to stop doing that thing where he drags his fingernails across the chalkboard. I honestly like him, even if the rest of the class thinks he’s annoying and Garrett claims to not like him. Hey, maybe Garrett will become the new Luis (for Toner- hopefully not for me). If Luis quits then he can adopt Garrett as his hero. I would approve that one. Garrett is way more honorable than Luis Anderson ever was. I have a trumpet lesson tonight, and of course I forgot my music at school. I was going to try that piece Blake got, Uno Continuo. I’m looking forward to working with those guys. I guess it would be weird if Blake wasn’t there, because it would be all Clauge people who have a history and such. I know Blake came onto the scene when I did, so, no worries. And Blake’s cool now. I guess I’ll just have to ask my trumpet guy if he has the music. Time to do last night’s math and tonight’s math. Damn simplistic geometric proofs. November 16, 2006 I’m going to kill Mr. Roberts if he doesn’t put out our chair audition results soon. He might kill me first. Who knows. I’m being really good in there now so he won’t hate me. Today was actually Caleb’s birthday. The lucky guy is sixteen. He can get his license and everything. Matt and I attempted to play Happy Birthday and slaughtered it. The only song I can play without music is the song I use for a warm-up song. It’s the song from Shella in Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles. I’ve been nailing it lately and it was hard at first. Hopefully I did well on Mr. Drake’s test. It can be hard to tell at times. There were some things I had to guess at. The lab packet was also due today. I realized recently, Mr. Drake’s style for turning in stuff is just like Mrs. Goebbel’s (with a packet and everything), but he’s sneakier about it. It’s going to end up being about ninety points or so. Hurley had to copy mine, because he has no work ethic. I wouldn’t have let him, but he folded his hands and did puppy dog eyes. How the hell did he know that would work? There’s no way I could resist that. I couldn’t believe the grade I had when I checked Mr. Kim’s posting. I walked over and took a glance at the sheet, expecting a B or something. I read: 113681 (my student number): 100.00%- A+. I stared. No way. It may be only out of fifty-five points, but still! I haven’t gotten that kind of grade in forever! In math, too. I suck at math. Or do I? I guess we’ll never know. Lunch was okay. I didn’t really get to hang out with anyone due to Amy’s locker. I went up to her and she was kicking her locker. “It won’t open!” she said furiously. “Let me try,” I said. “Locks like me.” I spun the dial. 25-40-0. No go. I tried again. Nope. Nada. Amy was seriously pissed off because she had to go to her AIDS in Africa thing and the girl running it would scream if she didn’t show. “Go,” I said. “I’ll mess with it.” Amy told me I was a good friend and ran. It finally opened about five minutes later. Turns out her coat had been blocking the lock part. The only bad part about that is now I was standing next to an open locker with nothing to do. So I sat down. I’m sure it looked very odd, with one sophomore sitting alone next to an open locker. Mr. Julius walked by and gave me a “umm... what are you doing?” look. “This looks sketchy, but it’s not, don’t worry,” I told him. He laughed. The incident made me think a little. Maybe a locker isn’t so bad to have. I should just hide stuff in there, stuff I don’t want people to see. I know the first thing that’s going in there. My first quarter grades. Mom will kill me if she sees the comment Roberts wrote. Ashley got the same comment: “Must stop disruptive behavior.” Caleb got, “Must remove learning distractors,” which we agreed sounds like Mr. Roberts wants Caleb to shoot Ashley and me or something. We’re watching another movie in Latin. This time, it’s Helen of Troy. I like it so far, even though I don’t totally get what’s going on. Mr. Julius says he’s going to explain everything. I hope he does, because otherwise I’m going to be lost. I should have asked him for a synopsis to practice. I’m not doing very well with those right now. Maybe I’ll do homework. I have a little to do tonight, but not much. November 17, 2006 Well, I had another disastrous driving experience with Dad tonight. I really suck, according to him. I made a few mistakes backing out and then I did kind of a bad park job at the bank, and he totally lit into me. He made me want to die. I’m not kidding. It hurt the most because he’s totally right! I do suck! After the bank, he made me take him to the store. While he was there, I had a really scary thought. It would be so easy just to ditch. Leave with the car and be out of there. I don’t really know where I would go, but it would be so simple. Turn the key in the ignition and be gone. I wish I could. I hate my parents a lot of the time. Everyone’s a critic in my family. Is it 2009 yet? The rest of the day was normal. The end. I’m leaving. November 18, 2006 I only have one day of school next week, while those other suckers have two. We’re leaving for New Hampshire on Tuesday, so we get to skip. It really kind of sucks. I like school. Well, at least I get to stay up Monday and watch Headlines (the absolute best part of The Tonight Show). I haven’t been able to watch it since summer. My dreams were odd last night. I dreamed that Michael joined a secret society that only wore black. I was somehow dragged into a car with him and he explained that the society was anti-arts and anti-theater. “Are they anti-God?” I asked for some reason. Michael told me they weren’t, but they thought of God in a different way. I think I might of joined up, because my hair and clothes were different by the end of the dream. In the beginning, Mom and I were in the basement, freaking out, and trying to get my cell to work, because the society was in our house. I kind of want to Google it and see if there’s any society like that. Nothing much has been going on today. In the interests of maintaining my 100.00% in Geometry, I did the work on my math packet that needed to be done, plus the extra credit. I found out that Blink-182 isn’t the best band to listen to while doing homework. The songs are so catchy you want to sing along, not do homework. I’ve decided I’m driving with Mom until Dad works out his life. He’s been really stressed because of our grandparents moving in, so I think that’s why he was such an asshole to me last night. Until they get their own place, I’m going to be with Mom. Dad’s a real bear sometimes. That’s all for now, folks. November 27, 2006 Dang, it’s been awhile. Our vacation was awesome. We went out to New Hampshire for Thanksgiving. You’ll never believe it, but I got sick AGAIN. I always get sick when I go out there. Some kind of airborne bacteria from New England, maybe? So, as a result, I’m at home on a Monday afternoon and feeling just fine. I suppose it’s my own fault. I felt fine this morning but I was really tired, so I told Mom I still felt sick. Right now, I’m supposed to be in band. Amy’s in math, same with Hurley, I’m fairly certain Garrett’s in TV Production or whatever that class is called, and everyone else of consequence is in band. We probably got chairs today. I should call someone and ask what chair I got. Knowing Ashley and Caleb, they’re probably going to pull a trick on me and say that I got last chair. That would be just like them. I’ve been hoping that Toner gets his rightful chair. I would love to see Luis go down in flames. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t love it, but Toner deserves it more than he does. “Wouldn’t it be hilarious if Luis got last again this year?” I asked my trumpet buddies one day. They cracked up, because that’s just bad luck. Or lack of musicianship. I wonder how many labs I’ve missed for Mr. Drake now. I know I missed one last Tuesday and he most likely gave us one or two or a million today. Okay, this is it. No more sick days. I don’t care if I’m dying of Ebola, I’ll be going in from now on. This reminds me of summer, when I would complain that I was bored like every single day. Just for the record, I’m writing this part AFTER I wrote the other part. So, I got Aunt Mo to drive me down to Huron so I could “get my homework”. I just wanted to go to Latin, truth be told. I asked Toner if we had gotten chairs. He said that we had. “What chair am I?” I asked in a panic. I swear I saw Garrett roll his eyes. “You’re down there,” he said. “Huh?” “You know that freshman that was last?” “Peter?” “No.” “Jay?” “Yeah,” he said. “He’s one above you.” “Are you being serious?” I asked, swearing inwardly. “What chair is Caleb?” “Third, I think.” “What chair is Ashley?” “Ashley, I think, is fifth.” “What chair is Blake?” “Blake? Which one is Blake?” “Blake Barnes?” “Oh. He’s first.” “So what am I?” I asked, sufficiently panicking. “I think you’re either third or second to last.” I tried not to swear and got the homework from Mr. Julius, which was to study the verb “to be”. “I’ve got to find Mr. MacArthur,” I said. “You should just find out your chair tomorrow. And hit him if he’s joking tomorrow,” said Garrett. “Nah,” I answered. “I gotta find MacArthur.” “Doesn’t he have a class now?” Garrett asked. “Yeah, but Mr. Roberts runs Symphony Band. Goodbye, all,” I added. “See you guys tomorrow.” Garrett hit me with his bottle as a way of goodbye and I sprinted out the door. So, there I was, running like an idiot down to the band room. I couldn’t find MacArthur, but I came back to talk to Mr. Roberts in person after the final bell rang. I went straight up to the podium and Mr. Roberts asked, “Here for the cookie dough orders?” “Cookie dough orders? That was today? I actually came for my chair.” I decided to get the orders, just so I wouldn’t have to come back. “So what general area am I in?” I asked, trying to keep it friendly. Mr. Roberts has every right to be annoyed with me, given how I’ve been acting up lately. He gave me a look, trying to remember. “I think you’re fifth.” “Fifth? Okay. I’m going to kill Toner,” I added. “He told me that I was last.” Mr. Roberts smiled. “I heard he got first,” I said. Roberts nodded. Okay, maybe I should have known Toner was messing with me. But he said it with such a straight face! I should have asked Garrett if he was screwing with me or not. I should have expected a trick. So, anyway, we went to the uniform room to pick up the cookie dough. Amy walked by and I said hi to her. Mr. Roberts handed me my order and was about to wave me on my way when I said what was probably the unthinkable to him. “Hey, Mr. Roberts? I’m sorry if I’m a pain sometimes,” I said with proper shame. “I really don’t mean to be.” By the look on his face, I think he was glad he was finally getting some respect. “Okay, then,” he said. He went off on a thing about how he knows we’re bored, so that’s probably why we talk. I have to agree with the man. “I’m working on it. Really,” I said. He smiled at me and nodded and went down the hall. I’m glad I did it. Seriously. Maybe now we’ll be on better terms. I think he was really happy with me. Okay, now I’m seriously done. ‘Bye. November 28, 2006 THANK THE LORD! I’M SIXTH CHAIR! I found out today. This is the new order: Blake, Laja, Caleb, Jay Bouma, Zach, me, Ashley, Matt, Henry, Peter, and David. Mr. Roberts actually found a way to split up the team of me, Blake, Ashley, and Caleb. I felt sorry for Zach. He tanked. We’re not allowed to challenge for awhile, either, because our auditions “were not satisfactory”. He threatened to kick us all off the trip, but he needs us. I pieced together the story of the trumpet chair auditions from a combination of Matt and Toner. Apparently the man got really pissed off. I was so proud of Blake. We always knew he would go far. Man, I love that song, “Days Go By”. I finally did steal it from David’s CD, along with “Bless the Broken Road”. I heard that one right before ninth grade started, so it reminds me of how I was freaked out of Interlochen. I never figured David for a Rascal Flatts fan, though. I realized a few weeks ago that “Days Go By” is Garrett’s song. I hear the beginning, I think of him. I actually didn’t miss that much yesterday. I got the homework from Mr. Drake, which isn’t that bad. It’s just the stuff from the science book, and I can copy the lab and the notes from someone. Mr. Drake is really understanding about absences, unless you skip his class. Then he gets kind of pissed off, but I can see why. “Lack of respect” is what Mr. Roberts would lecture on. I let it go this morning with Toner, because he honestly did think I got the chair he said I got. No wonder he said it with such a straight face. I asked him if Luis was second to last or if he had totally gone down in flames. Apparently Blogin auditions today, so it’s kind of To Be Determined. Blogin wants to beat Toner, but I can’t see that happening. Toner’s really good, for a freshman and a tuba player. I know it’s probably evil to wish last chair on someone, but he deserves it for working the system. I think I did really good on the verb “to be” today in Latin. I just think I may have switched up pluperfect and imperfect subjunctives. Garrett saved my ass. While Mr. Julius was doing something, he threw his flash cards at me and said, “Quiz me.” I have almost a photographic memory, so if I see something once, I can remember it. If Garrett hadn’t forced me to quiz him, there’s no way I would have passed that sucker. He actually gave me a hug today. It was, well, nice. I was standing in my place that I stand in the morning, with Anne and Cam. I was talking to Matt and trying to find out through the grapevine exactly what chair all the trumpets were. After we got done with that, I glanced up and Garrett was right there. He opened his arms and grinned and said, “Morning hug!” I accepted the morning hug and hugged him tight. Hell, I couldn’t help it. I know it means absolutely nothing, since he’s the kind of cuddly guy that gives all his friends hugs, but still, it was good. In other news, Amy came to the conclusion that she still has a thing for Paul. Isn’t that lovely? I already told her, “Amy. This doesn’t make you look good.” She told him that she liked him last June, hooked up with Alex, and ditched him. It would reflect badly on her if she was like, “Oh, yeah, Paul? I still like you.” Argh. I doubt at this rate we’ll ever have a peaceful year. Okay, I think I have some homework. Peace.

October 14, 2006 Well, it’s Homecoming night and I’m here. Well, it’s not like I have no life. Amy and I went to go see a movie. This week sort of got me sorry that I made the pact with Amy. Especially since she and Alex broke up. The pact was originally because she didn’t want to be at Homecoming missing Alex. I was maybe sort of hoping she would want to go if they broke up, but I guess not. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I’ve had the music for three or four days and I already kick ass at my audition piece. It’s already much better than last year. Now I’m trying to perfect the articulations, because I can just hear my trumpet instructor saying, “Wrong articulations.” That’s all he says. He just simply states the problem and you fix it. So I’m trying to fix it. It was so much easier when I could just slur it all. The bad part was that Michael’s date came while I was practicing. Now, I’m okay with the family hearing me, but other people is a no. I thought they were commenting a little too much to be normal. I heard Dad say, “Yeah, she’s busting her chops.” I was doing some really high notes (screwing them, I may add) while trying to get all the right rhythms and articulations. I hate public performances. They suck. I can’t do them, anyway. Amy and I actually talked on the phone for exactly two hours and sixteen minutes. Turns out she thinks she likes her lab partner. She told me last night at the game. I’ll get to the game in a second, after I’m done with this. I need to meet the guy first, to find out if he’s worthy or not. She accused me once again of being attracted to Garret. I had to concede to the truth, which is that maybe I am, a little. Which is interesting, because I haven’t gone for a blonde and blue-eyed guy since Cam. Amy freaked out even though she knew all along. So. The game. Rejoice, for marching season is officially finite. I was actually kind of sad. It wasn’t as painful as last time, even though we lost by a lot, and on our Homecoming game, too. I say we should have brought in the Canadians because they play by only three downs, not four, plus some other rules. I guess they determined that immoral a few years ago. We actually had fun. On the way back, when we paraded to the band room, we didn’t march. We danced. I can’t imagine doing that last year. I’m going to miss our squad. Peter Dalack really grew on me. He doesn’t act like a freshman. He acts more mature than some of our sophomore guys. He’s a real joker, though. You just have to get to know him. At the very last “Ho!”, given by Adam Collins (for the last time, as Pat Wakefield is replacing him), I was actually really sad. I had fun this year. And who knows what band I’ll be in next year? I went to Driver’s Ed. today. I drove with an instructor named Dana, who was really cool. She’s about Todd’s age, so she was pretty much just as cool. Nicest person in the world. I swear she has nerves of steel, because she really didn’t seem bugged by anything. She was just sitting in the passenger seat, chatting away, telling all the horrible Driver’s Ed. stories and making me laugh. Which almost made us go off the road a few times, but whatever. I did really good today. I’m going to be a great driver, even though I tell people the opposite. She wrote that I did “pretty good”. I’ll take what I can get. Okay, I’m going to wait for people to get on or something, while I sit here with no life. Just kidding. ‘Bye. October 15, 2006 I was having dreams about Homecoming last night. I dreamt that Amy and I sneaked into the dance, and we went around back. I was thinking in the dream that I didn’t want to go in after all. I saw the Walrus and he told me that he had to smoke weed or something like that. I told him that it was okay, but I said, “Well, I think I’m going to go find people.” Inside, I saw Amy, who was wearing a mask. She told me that she was going to join this dancing line of people and I laughed at her, which is probably what I would normally do. Then I dreamed that I was in Huron’s football stadium. It was pretty much empty, except for me, the Walrus, Hurley, and a horse. Dad’s car was sitting on the outside track. We all got into the car, but there wasn’t room for the horse. The Walrus was messing around with the radio, but none of the stations were set to stuff we listen to. “Bear in mind that this is my dad’s car,” I said warningly. Bailey was also there, and the guys were trying to make her do stuff. “She’s kind of low-key,” I said, because she wasn’t doing anything. I was kind of mad that the horse couldn’t come, because it was my horse. It probably means that I wanted to go to Homecoming, but didn’t. I wonder how it was. I haven’t talked to anyone yet, so I don’t know. With my luck, something big probably went down and I missed it. Well, whatever. I made Amy a promise, which I kept. I was just bored today. I picked up Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles for the first time in awhile today. What was really going on was that I wanted to hear the theme from Shella, which is one of the towns. Then I went to the Veo Lu Sluice (just to see if I still had it) and one thing led to another. I also beat Tida, the creepy haunted village (that level freaks me out but it was the only one left). Now I’m on Year Five and things are about to get even harder. Alrighty, I’m going to read for Mr. Wilson’s class, because I’m fairly certain we have a quiz in there tomorrow. October 18, 2006 It’s been a few days. I’ve been really busy lately, so that’s probably it. The last few days have been pretty good. Because the freshmen are taking the MEAP, we’ve had block scheduling. Yesterday was math, English, and Speech for me. Today it was Earth Science, band, and Latin. I like it so much better this way. I wish they would change it. It was not a happy hour for Earth Science this morning at exactly 7:40. Mr. Drake had all kinds of stuff lined up for us. Hurley didn’t even show. I knew he was here, just skipping. After school, when I was waiting for Michael outside the portables, I saw him. I crossed my arms across my chest. I knew he had seen me when he looked down, grinning. “Someone skip Earth Science today?” I called out merrily. He laughed and said that he didn’t want to see Drake that early in the morning. Can’t blame him. Weirdly, band was before lunch today. We actually had a lot of fun. It’s good to have a friend right behind me. I adopted Michael Toner as my freshman today. “Can’t you find anyone better?” Garret muttered during Latin. I do have other, better ones, but Toner’s cool. Today was mostly organizational stuff, passing out music and such. We actually got around to the warm-ups. We’re apparently not allowed to play loud anymore, however, which totally sucks. The rest of us stepped up to Caleb’s sound and now we overpower. Caleb is actually my stand partner this year. That’s good. I’ve always liked Caleb, even if sometimes he doesn’t like me all that much. The tubas had another tuba moment today. We were playing the warm-ups and they starting complaining that they didn’t get a second sheet. “Look on the back!” the entire trumpet section said. “Well, how about that,” said Luis, feeling stupid, while we laughed at them. Unfortunately, he’s Toner’s hero or something. Well, I guess freshmen usually look up to someone older. I looked up to Mataeso last year. Latin was pretty good, for a two hour period. Mr. Julius was getting sick of us by the end, though. He’s actually a really interesting guy. He was talking with us during the hour (while we were supposed to be translating). He really seems to like me, Garrett (who was actually in that class last year- he failed or something), and Toner. I told him to be nice to Mom tomorrow, and to tell her I’m awesome. I also told him don’t be surprised if she’s a little skeptical of him, because he was following up Mr. Vogel’s performance. He nodded and said, “I’m not scared of parents anymore.” Anymore? Does that mean that he was at one time? We are slowly seceding from the antisocial island. Garrett started it. He had moved his backpack from his normal seat to closer to where he used to sit. “Hey, are you ditching us?” I asked. “Yep,” he replied, grinning. “Fine,” I said. “Then I’m coming, too.” I moved my seat to the seat in front of his. Toner followed us and sat next to me. We pushed our desks together for the translation. We let Michael do the first part, since he’s a total power translator and he’s faster than both of us put together. Garrett’s actually not that great at Latin, which is interesting because he seems smart. I wonder if he has a learning disability or something. He doesn’t seem to be dyslexic, because he was helping me near the end and he can read. I’ll study Garret more and figure it out. Now, I have some serious homework and a trumpet to practice. ‘Bye. October 19, 2006 Well, Driver’s Ed. is officially over. I was actually sad. I’m really going to miss Todd and that class. Todd actually had to be proper for the parents today, so he wasn’t as fun as normal. I had a good day, although I’m a little nervous right now. Mom’s at the parent/teacher conferences. The phrase “parent/teacher conferences” has always made me nervous, like my dear brother before me. I would be downright scared if Mom had gotten a conference with Mr. Fox. That’s my worst class and I’m constantly talking and not turning in homework. Mr. Kim is going to be the worst class, that being my worst grade. I have a B, which is apparently bad these days. Also, I don’t talk. Lucky for me that I can make the excuse, “But Mom! I’m never awake!” Okay, update. She just got home and we talked. Everyone loves me! I really can’t believe it. Mr. Julius apparently said that he wishes there were more students like me. That almost makes me laugh, because he’s yelled at Garret, Michael, and myself a few times for talking while we were supposed to be translating. Mr. Wilson also really likes me. He says I have “excellent command over the material”. Well, he can’t really say anything against me. I have 95% in that class. School was good today. Nothing incredibly remarkable happened, but it was a good day all the same. Latin was probably the most fun. We were translating, only we were talking. Mr. Julius has given up. We were talking about ILC, and how it impacts school attendance records. Any student using ILC counts as two people or something in a class. Both Toner and Garrett used it. Well, Garrett used it last year. Turns out he has something similar to dyslexia, but a little different. Michael has weak hands, so instead of being ambidextrous, he’s no-dextrous. “That’s why he plays tuba,” Garrett joked. He has fully joined in on my tuba-bashing these days. Well, I was not under the impression my teachers liked me that much. Mr. Wilson in particular, although he doesn’t seem to outright hate anyone. I like him because he has never once acknowledged me as “Mike’s sister”. I HATE it when people say that. Is it so hard to understand that I want to be my own person for once? I’m going to go eat then practice my trumpet. ‘Bye. October 20, 2006 The Huron vs. Pioneer game is tonight, but in the end, I decided not to go. I wouldn’t be able to see anyone. None of my close friends are going but Amy, and she’s in Symphony Band, so she’s in the half-time show with the Pioneer band. Anne of St. Francis is going on a youth group retreat, so I’m on my own, here. For once, I’m glad it’s Friday. I need sleep! This morning, I didn’t want to move at all. It was so warm in my bed. Plus I always forget my dreams when I’m going to school and thinking about other things. I’m really into dreams lately. They’re actually really interesting. The mind is amazing. It was an easy Friday. Mr. Wilson actually assigned homework and it’s not going to be very easy. It’s this characterization paper thing. We have to describe ourselves or a close friend or just make someone up. I’m torn between just making something up completely or describing myself, which won’t be hard. I should be okay, though. English has been so easy this year. I don’t have to do my speech until about Wednesday! That gives me the weekend to throw together something. Yeah, that’s right. I haven’t done it yet. I know, I’m such a terrible student. Let’s face it, though. I hate public speaking. As does Hurley, as I found out today. I was talking to him about his speech today during English (while doing Mr. Drake’s homework). He admitted to being scared as hell about his speech. It’s almost weird how many similarities there are between us. Maybe that’s why we get along so well. Still, it’s creepy. Pretty much the only difference is that he likes the Killers and I say they suck. Which they do. His speech wasn’t bad. I volunteered to be his poster holder person. Moral support onstage, I guess. The speech was on the Greek gods. It was interesting. You can tell he’s been trained by Mr. Vogel. The people who have been taught by Mr. Vogel really stand out sometimes, in good ways and otherwise sometimes. It was a test day in Mr. Drake’s world. I think I did okay, although with Mr. Drake it’s never a sure thing. I better have done well, because it’s totally degrading to be in that class in the first place. I might as well be in remedial, because there are some dumbasses in there. At the end of the quarter, I’m going to try to have an A in there. An A- at least. I have a B now, which people say is good for Drake’s class, but it’s not good enough. Band was fun and we actually played. For our winter concert, we’re doing an opera theme or something. Everything seems to be getting easy. Funny how it seemed so hard last year when I was second to last and couldn’t count. I picked up the counting system over the year. I count as loud as Caleb and Ashley now, who pretty much grew up with the system. I’m actually going to be sad after this chair arrangement is no more. It’s nearly as good as last year. Sometimes Ashley and Caleb make the most random comments. There’s this one song where the tubas play a staccato quarter note once every couple measures, so Ashley pretended to hit Blake over the head with her trumpet when those notes came around. There was another thing where Ashley just started laughing randomly, so we asked her what was funny. She said that she had been picturing those little Jell-O people that you make when you’re about five and something about the Pillsbury doughboy and how you poke him in the stomach. Blake, Caleb, and I exchanged looks. “Ashley,” Caleb said. “There are some things that sound funny in your head. Don’t talk about those things.” We cracked up. Then Mr. Roberts got mad, like he usually does when we start laughing during rehearsal. I failed my Latin quiz. Flat-out fifty percent. Straight E. Turns out, everyone failed, even Garret, who’s doing Latin 2 for the second time. Mr. Julius was not pleased. So, now we’re going through everything on the synopsis to make sure everyone gets it. I’m glad because now I can just write everything down to make sure I get it too, and I can remember it. No more failing! Latin is my subject and there’s no way I’m failing anything else. Garret and I have been hemming in Toner, at least when he does that thing where he drags his fingernails across the chalkboard. He’s one of the few who doesn’t mind that sound, unlike the rest of the world. I’ll never admit it, but he’s one of my favorite freshmen, and he’s smart as hell. Plus, I can’t let Luis be the only person corrupting him. Garret and I have to offset that a little. That reminds me, I have to figure out a way to block Garret’s two-way trap in tic-tac-toe. I never see it coming and he beats me every time, even when I start with my X in the middle. I haven’t won since the first day I met him. One of these days I’m going to figure out how he does it. Okay, I think I have a phone call to make. I’m out. October 21, 2006 Unfortunately, it’s Saturday. Mom and I attempted to go shopping (which I hate with a vengeance) but we didn’t really find anything. I wanted some more cargo pants, but they don’t really sell stuff like that anymore. Too bad, because I really like those pants. On the way home, Mom and I were talking. I was telling her how I don’t like to be dependent on stuff, like caffeine or drugs or anything, because that automatically makes me a weaker person. She said that would serve me well, which I know it will. I’m not a true Beaulieu, since they’re all flat-out drunks. Then she started talking about her health class, and how they were doing a chapter on violence. She was all like, “If you were in an abusive relationship, you would get out, right?” Geez. I wouldn’t be with a guy like that in the first place! It does make me wonder, though. How many guys I go to school with are going to turn out as abusive husbands? I thought of my guy friends. The Walrus won’t. I know that. He once told me, back in May, “You won’t ever go home with bruises on your body.” He has potential to be an alcoholic, though. Fuzz? Ha! Fuzz is the most mild guy in the world. No way would it be Fuzz. I doubt Hurley will be an abusive husband, too. He’s got the righteous anger thing going on, but he usually doesn’t direct it towards people, just ideas. Yeah, I think my friends are safe. Today, I did absolutely nothing. I drove a little, but that’s about it. Mom and Dad are in no way as cool as the Driver’s Ed. people. Dad is an alarmed passenger and Mom is a nervous passenger. Dad will totally freak out if I don’t make one stop when he tells me to. Mom “needed air” at least three times on the way. They both act like they expect me to drive like a nut. Or like Amy. Okay, that was a cheap shot. I’m a good driver. Zach and I were discussing my driving abilities last night. I talked to him for the first time in a long time. He was really animated last night. He does sound good, though. That’s great. I’ve got to show him a picture of me to negate the old (bad) one. I was thinking last night, I wish I could meet him. Zach and Alex are at the top of my list of people I want to meet before I die. I’m tired, so I’m going to find something to wake me up. Until next time. October 24, 2006 The teachers seem to think it’s funny lately to pile on the homework. I’ve been overloaded. Mr. Drake is the worst, and this is where his reputation of a hardass for homework comes in. Luckily for me he really likes me. I’m sure of that now. I asked him straight out if he was going to tell Mom that I’m a bad kid. He raised an eyebrow and said, “I’m going to tell her you’re a terrible kid.” I know I’m fine. I’ve been working hard on my audition piece. I think I’m going to do good this year. Also, I got all my scales down. I’m not the least bit nervous like last year. Band is good. We’ve started a few pieces. I did nearly get kicked out of band yesterday. It wasn’t my fault! Ashley and Caleb were joking around like usual, and Mr. Roberts scowled in our general direction. “Trumpets, can we end it?” We nodded and muttered, “Yeah, sure.” I glanced over at Caleb. “Claire!” “Uh, yeah?” I stuttered back. “Do you need to leave?” “No,” I said quickly. “You’re sure?” “Um, yeah.” All the time I was thinking, what did I do! Apparently looking at one’s stand partner is now a crime. And Mr. Roberts and I were getting along so well this year, too. Concert Orchestra has started. Too bad I’m not first or second chair. I have to say, though, I don’t think Zach Baker and Laja are the best guys for the job. I would have picked Blake, because he has a real eye for orchestra music. I can remember Mr. Roberts reading off what Mr. Mark needed. “Three flutes, one oboe, three clarinets, two French horns, two trombones, and two trumpets.” He looked to the tubas, waiting expectantly. “No tubas for this one,” he said. Luis made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a scream. The second trumpets sniggered. In a way, I’m glad there’s no tubas, because I have a feeling Toner would get shot down again, and that guy deserves totally to be first chair and to be getting all the privileges. He only gets downplayed because he’s a freshman. It sucks, but he was telling me there are some good parts to it. He’s automatically in Symphony Band next year and he’ll be first chair more likely than not. He’s sucking it up nicely, and I think that was Mr. Roberts’s deal with him. I gave my speech today in, well, Speech. It’s amazing, I threw it all together last night and it was a success. I was waaaaay below the time limit, though, because I was rushing through it. The Aztecs have pulled me out once again. Man, I love them. I know Mr. Fox is going to grade easy on me, on account of my severe performance anxiety. Heh. Comes in handy sometimes. Latin was, well, great. I have so much fun in that class lately. Maybe it’s because of Garret? Amy hit the nail right on the head there, lately. I do like the guy. A lot. I just need to figure out how he keeps beating me with the two-way trap. I need to win one. Mr. Julius said today, “You guys need a new game.” I love him, too. He’s like something out of a comic strip, but he’s the nicest guy in the world. How did I hate him at first? It’s my favorite class. In some ways, I like less structure. It gives me time to talk to Toner and play Mercy with Garrett. Toner’s probably going to have a crush on me by the end of the year. I already think he’s got something because me and Garret were playing Mercy and he was all like, “Aww, they’re holding hands.” Sign number one of a jealous person. It’s not like I can date Garrett anyway. Turns out he’s seventeen, and I’m only fifteen. I think it’s about time for dinner, so I’m out. ‘Bye. October 25, 2006 Life is much easier now that I’ve done my speech. Now the only thing to worry about is my audition, which is the week after next. Damn. I’ve been practicing and all, but I HATE auditions with a passion. It’s good that I know my scales now. Plus I kick ass at the piece. I doubt I’ll get first chair, but hopefully I can maintain my chair this year. The fundraiser kickoff was today in band. It took the whole hour, like I knew it would. I was distracted by the jokes of Ashley and Caleb. Ashley was talking about how some hobo had set up a tent near her house or something, and we were talking about how cold it was. “Hopefully they have sleeping bags or something,” said Caleb. “Or a generator,” I said, half-joking. Caleb looked at me like he wanted to say something but Ashley piped up with, “That plugs into what? The ground?” “Ashley,” Caleb started. “That’s the whole point of a generator, that you don’t have to plug it in!” I’m honestly surprised that we’ve never been kicked out of the band room. Toner and I agreed that if we were to hit up Mr. Julius to buy stuff from us for the fundraiser, we would split it. I love the freedom of that class. You can pretty much say whatever the hell you feel like saying and no one will make fun of you. In fact, Mr. Julius will probably add on something funny and teach a Latin root. I miss Latin 1, but what am I supposed to do about that? The other class is nothing like it was last year, in spite of Mr. Vogel and all of the old class. From what I’ve heard, anyway. Paul’s actually thinking of switching into our class. That would be cool. I bet he and Garret would get along and maybe he and Toner, too. Amy and I gave Garret a nickname. I made it up. He’s Banana Who. It came from something he and I were talking about. He was describing this thing called “Rejected Cartoons” on YouTube. He was telling me all about it in Latin. “’My spoon is too big!’” he started out. “Then a banana comes in and it says, ‘I am a banana!’” I told Amy that and she completely missed it, but now he’s Banana Who. Cam and Anne were completely not following our conversation today at lunch. It started out with something with the Walrus. Oh, yeah. Cam came behind me and said, “Attack of the killer walrus!” Amy and I looked at each other and we knew we agreed. “You are NOT the Walrus,” I stated. Amy laughed. Then we went off on one of our conversations. “The Walrus is a title,” I explained to them. “No, it’s not,” Amy said. “It’s not? Is it specific to that person?” “Yes. It’s like Salad Boy.” (Note: Another one of Amy’s nicknames for Luis- he had several) “Dexter!” “Salad Boy!” “The Walrus is specific, then?” Then Chris Jalilivand (who one might remember from Interlochen) walked by and said, “I am the walrus!” Amy and I outright laughed at that. “He is not the Walrus,” I said. “Hey, the Walrus and Dexter were legit!” I said to Amy. “No, they weren’t. Well, Salad Boy, slightly.” All the while, Cam and Anne were standing by with slightly perplexed looks on their faces. “Salad Boy?” asked Anne, confused. We laughed. People say that Amy and I have a language all of our own. No one ever knows what the hell we’re talking about. This business of nicknames for the people we like has made conversations kind of hard. It was usually Amy, me, and Fuzz, and Fuzz could usually keep up with us, since he was around for everything. Man, I miss him. I love Fuzz. He’s like a brother or something. October 26, 2006 Mom just got back from her conference with Mr. Drake. He says I’m doing fine and I’m a good person. Thank God. I’ve been thinking lately, Mr. Drake is not stupid. If he grades his own homework assignments, then he probably notices that the answers of Claire Beaulieu and Matt Hurley are remarkably similar. And Hurley isn’t subtle. He copies it right there in the middle of Earth Science, with Mr. Drake standing in the room. I thought that Mr. Drake would have noticed by now, but then it hit me. He doesn’t grade the homework! His student teacher does! She’s kind of dumb, so she’s not going to see a pattern. This is a good day. I got my permit, and I’m officially done with Driver’s Ed, with the times and everything. I drove with Dave today. It’s funny, I used to not like Dave, but he’s the most interesting guy ever once you stop driving like somebody’s grandmother and he doesn’t have to be critical. I’ve gotten stories on the people who work at All Star Driver’s Ed. a few times. Todd in particular. Dave was telling me today about how Todd started when he was “just practically a kid”. He suspects Todd is getting a little sick of classes that keep talking and won’t quiet down. “It annoys him,” Dave said, nodding. “Yeah, that was our class,” I said back. “Only we made him laugh, so he was okay with it.” Dave smiled. “Yeah, he likes that. Todd has a good heart.” I had to agree. I didn’t really like the kid driving with me, my “partner” as Dave says. He was really pretty surly. His name was Martin. We dropped him off at his house at the end of his hour. Dave watched him go. “I was a little nervous driving with Martin today,” he stated. “Why?” I said. Martin had seemed like an okay driver, if not the best. “He’s not a good driver,” Dave said. “He’s a cocky one. Way too fast.” He went on to tell me all sorts of stuff. Martin is apparently kind of a bad kid. “One day, he came into the car smelling like something I didn’t want him to smell like,” Dave said cautiously. I thought about this for a minute. What? Then it hit me. Weed. He came in smelling like weed. “Was he?” I asked, meaning, was he high? “No. I checked him.” I had a thought. “Would... would you guys be able to tell the kid’s parents if you thought they had... a problem?” Dave considered. “I gave his parents a heads-up.” I assumed that Dave meant yes, you could. Dave’s a good guy. I’ve been thinking. If you want to have a good time while driving, then drive with Todd or Dana. But if you want to have an interesting conversation about politics or something with a guy who will talk to you as an equal, then drive with Dave. If you want to become wise, more like. In a way, he reminds me of Mr. Vogel. I had a good day today. We took a quiz in English, an open-book one. I think I did well. Hurley came over near the end and muttered almost inaudibly, “Yeah, I’m going to need to copy the science homework.” So what else is new? I rolled my eyes and ripped it out of my notebook. I’ve said it a million times before. If it weren’t Hurley, that would be a no. “You guys cheating?” asked Nick Austin, the kid who sits in front of me. I like him, most of the time. “No,” said Hurley quickly. “No,” I agreed. “He just copies my homework every single day.” “Not every single day,” he countered. “Close enough,” I retorted back. “I just don’t... feel like doing the Earth Science homework all the time,” he said. “That’s the lamest excuse and you know it,” I said, going back to my paper that I owed for Driver’s Ed a few days ago. He grinned guiltily. I shook my head but couldn’t help smiling back. Hurley’s the greatest guy in the world sometimes. I have once again changed my seat in Speech. I sit next to my friend Lisa now. She’s a new friend of mine. We palled up one day in the library and now we’re really good friends. She’s the only thing separating me from Hurley right now. We pass notes during the rest of the speeches. It’s really fun. She reminds me of my friend Lucy who used to go to karate with me. Latin was awesome, as usual. Mr. Julius gave Garret a book called Latin For All Occasions, because he said he needed an ominous quote for his movie production class. “Anything in Latin sounds ominous,” Mr. Julius argued. “You just have to say it with attitude.” “Mr. Julius,” I said, sitting in the first row with my arms crossed, “I’m going to get you a bumper sticker that says that.” So, Garret eventually started reading all the quotes out loud. There was one that he translated as, “I can’t hear you- there’s a banana in my ear.” He showed it to Mr. Julius, only he covered up the translation to see if he could read it. “’I can’t hear you,’” Mr. Julius started. “’There’s... the Muse of Wisdom in my ear’?” Garret uncovered the translation. “What!” Mr. Julius exclaimed. “How did they get ‘banana’ from ‘Muse of Wisdom’?” I laughed harder than I’ve laughed in Latin for a really long time. Mr. Julius then proceeded to look up the word “banana” in the dictionary to see where it came from. We never did find out, but we looked up a bunch more words. I love Mr. Julius. That’s an awesome class. I’m just glad Mr. Drake doesn’t hate me. I’m going to remind Hurley to be careful, because I’ve been thinking. Maybe Mr. Drake will write me a college recommendation at some point. He won’t, though, if my honesty has been called into question. I would do anything for my friends, but sometimes they’re just not smooth. Oh, well. October 27, 2006 Friday. I’m almost happy. It’s nice just to kick back and not do homework or anything. Free days. I don’t have many these days. That’s okay, though. I think I’m better when I’m busy, even though I like a break every once in awhile. English was... interesting today. We did this thing where these seniors come in and we had a discussion about school violence, since the brawls at Huron are getting worse and worse. We had two seniors lead our discussion. One of them happened to be a guy I knew, a guy by the name of Mike Beaulieu. I know. Talk about bad luck. Of all the classrooms he could have been assigned to, he had to be assigned to the one with his little sister in it. It made things interesting. Nick told me that we “kind of look alike”. You know, people have been telling me that lately. Before I got contacts, most people couldn’t even believe we were related. I guess it was okay that it was him, though. “Of all the classes he could have gone to,” I muttered to Hurley. “That’s your older brother?” he asked incredulously. I had forgotten that he and Michael had never met, or even seen each other. The discussion was pretty good. Usually I’m really very vocal in Wilson’s class, but I was being cautious. I didn’t want to say something that I would regret and have Michael never forget. So, I was pretty quiet, but I added some stuff here and there. Hey, I didn’t want to fail. I was actually surprised that Hurley didn’t contribute more than he did. He’s naturally a really opinionated guy. He’ll probably end up as a politician or something. I would vote for him, I guess. He knows how things should be and where they’re going. I actually finished my worksheet on subjunctives today in Latin. That doesn’t usually happen, probably because I’m talking to Garret and Michael a lot of the time. Sometimes even Mr. Julius, because it’s easy to get him into a conversation. Today, Garret was writing something. He finished and slid it across to me. I scanned it. It was no language that I knew, some kind of strange alphabet. “What does it mean?” I asked him, curious. “Oh, it’s a phrase,” he said cryptically. “What phrase?” I said. He reached across and wrote “pizza” under one of the words and nodded slightly at me. I went at it. I used the letters that “pizza” gave me and used that to get a few more letters. “I will tell you than the K is less than... something,” he said cleverly. Scanning the paper again, I noticed that there was a letter that looked like a “less than” sign in math. That unlocked it. I ended up with, “I like to eat pizza a lot.” I wrote it out and triumphantly shoved the paper at Garret. He smiled and nodded. He later gave me the whole alphabet. Mr. Julius told us that the alphabet was old Celtic runes. Pretty cool. Okay, I should go. I think Mom wants to get on. October 28, 2006 I know I should be doing homework or practicing or some such thing, but I don’t want to right now. It’s Saturday, after all. Plus Dad’s not here. He went to Philadelphia for our grandmother’s birthday. I can cut myself a little slack when he’s not here. This song reminds me of early December of last year. “Perfect Grave”, Social Code. Sort of because that’s when Michael started telling me I needed to get my grades up, needed to work harder. Pretty much that I was digging my own grave. We were preparing for our concert in band, which I dropped a mute in the middle of, making a perfect ass of myself to the general public and Luis and the rest of Concert and Varsity Band. We were playing the “Second Suite in F”, which, to this day, still reminds me of that time. Now, this song reminds me of seventh grade. It’s a Celtic song, and one of Dad’s favorites. I wouldn’t admit it under torture, but I love Celtic music. I used to make fun of Dad for listening to these people, calling his exercise times with this playing “Celtic Variety Hour”. This is a damn long song, though, almost seven minutes, all instrumental. So. My day. Not much has happened, it being Saturday and all. I’m planning to do Mr. Drake’s extra credit today, since I have a B in there these days and Bs “aren’t good enough” lately. I think I’m scaring everyone, because I’m turning into a total overachiever. I went from slacker to overachiever. Hey, it’s not my fault, it’s Michael’s. I have to be as good as him or better, since I’m supposed to be the smart one of the family. I’m going to have a good GPA this quarter, though. I have As in band, Latin, and English, and Bs in Earth Science, Speech, and Geometry. Three As and three Bs is a 3.5 GPA. According to the new scale, that’s utter crap. Yeah, I think I’m going to go do that extra credit. After all, a B+ is better than a B. October 30, 2006 Another month almost gone. I freaking can’t believe it’s almost November. I was just hanging out with Amy and Fuzz and telling the Walrus how I really felt and being last chair and all that! I’ve been writing in this for around five months now. I read back, and my very first entry was the one where Mr. Vogel took us to the stadium for the mock accident. It had been canceled and he told us that it was “God’s way of telling us it doesn’t matter.” Damn, I miss him sometimes, even though Mr. Julius is just as good and I can see myself getting as close to him as I did to Mr. Vogel. I got eighty out of one hundred on my speech. Thank God. I did better than Hurley, anyway. He got seventy-one, which I was actually really surprised at, because Mr. Fox absolutely loves him. Mr. Julius says that the teacher liking you or not shouldn’t affect your grade, but in reality it does. One of many reasons why I like Mr. Julius. He sees things how they are. I got a B+ on my English quiz. Hopefully I’ll be getting an A on it soon, because Mr. Wilson said he would think about accepting our answer of situational irony, because I argued the point. Pretty much everyone else got that taken off, too, so he might change it. Apparently, like no one studied for this quiz, because Mr. Wilson was a bit annoyed at our scores. We got new music in band. I have to lead Matt Stern, because Caleb got a different part and I’m used to following him because he’s loudest. I didn’t even realize it until we missed our entrance. I like the warm-up chorale best, though. If I close my eyes, I thought, I might just be back at camp. I loved Interlochen this year. Sucks I only have two more years left. We got into a thing about whether or not bagpipes were ever used as weaponry in the middle ages. I say they did! I forget where I heard that, but I know it’s true. “That’s not true,” Caleb scoffed. “They just threw rocks at each other.” You know, there are times where Caleb really reminds me of Michael, denying things before looking into them. Caleb’s actually kind of sarcastic this year. Sophomore guys. Sometimes I just can’t stand them. It’s interesting to see how much Blake has grown up, though. He used to be a grouchy asshole, but he’s really funny now. Maybe he’s like me. I really came out of my shell after Tappan. I’m completely loving math right now. We’re doing triangles. I love triangles! They actually make sense. I’m actually talking, which I think is making Mr. Kim happy. I keep my mouth shut in there, partly because I’m not awake, because it’s first hour. Math’s never been my thing. It started in third grade, when I couldn’t grasp multiplication tables and it was all downhill from there. Mr. Samulak could tell, even though he says he had people doing much worse. I miss him, too. Okay, I need to go practice my trumpet and get a good chair. October 31, 2006- Halloween There are times where I really can NOT stand my family. It started today after practice club when I called Michael. Cam was there and he did a thing where he yells a little when his friends are on the phone. It’s a long standing joke between us, going way back. Michael started to tell me what a stupid person Cam was and that set me off. I love Cam. No one, I mean NO ONE bashes him when I’m around. Incidentally, that put me in a bad mood when I got home. Michael told me to get off the computer because David needed to email people. I didn’t like that he was ordering me around so I got mad. Maybe I was accidentally sarcastic about David’s surgery or something, because Michael flipped out on me and went up the stairs. When he was going up, I distinctly heard him say, “Prick,” with utter contempt. That killed me. It really did. It’s not that I don’t care about David, I was just mad at Michael! This is bad. Today was okay. I forgot my marching uniform. Michael had to drive me home at lunch to go get it. It was a happy fun day in band, one of those days where Mr. Roberts is swamped and we don’t play at all. I translated Latin while watching a card game that I didn’t know how to play. We didn’t see Mr. Roberts hardly at all. He was sorting uniforms. Lucky us. Turns out I have an A- in Latin, percentage-wise. I’m actually disappointed. What the hell is happening to me? Last year, a B- was good for me! November 1, 2006- All Saints Day Isn’t that appropriate. I got awful news today. Hurley’s dad is dead! Mr. Fox told our class. Poor Hurley. No one deserves to have their dad die when they’re as young as we are. I saw him at lunch. He was with Ted, which I can see, because Ted’s dad shot himself last March. He was holding it together okay, but when I looked at his eyes I saw so much pain. When he saw me he tried to smile and sort of half-waved. “I-I heard,” I told him. “I’m so sorry.” He looked at me and nodded, then went down the hall. Poor guy. I know his parents were divorced, but I guess that doesn’t mean he and his dad couldn’t have been close. I’ve been praying my ass off all day for him and his family. It would be nice if my friends’ relatives would stop dropping dead. First it was Ted’s dad, then later it was Cam’s granddad. Now Hurley. I swear, when Mr. Fox made the announcement, I thought Hurley was dead. I’m glad he’s not. I would miss him too much. This is weird, though. When Mr. Fox started with, “I have some sad news,” I knew it was a death and I knew it had something to do with Hurley. To speak the truth, I had a weird feeling up until Speech about him not being there, since he wasn’t in English. That’s why I thought he was dead. So what does that mean? Weird. Today was also Karen’s birthday. I finally found someone younger than me in the class of 2009. I think she’s the youngest in our class. For a present, I gave her one of my king-sized Butterfingers that I got last night for trick-or-treating. Plus a bunch of hugs. Now everyone’s fifteen, including me. They’re going back to two lunches, since it’s utter pandemonium at Huron during lunch. There are no words to express how lucky I got, though. Amy, Karen, and Paul all got my lunch. Amy was the person I wanted the most. I got everyone. Yes! Too bad it’s early lunch. I liked late lunch last year. Fuzz better have our lunch when he comes back from Chicago. I miss Fuzz so much. I had a dream he came back last night, but when I went to go hug him, turns out it wasn’t him, so I was frustrated. He’s never going away again. He’s got to stay here with us. Forever. Mr. Roberts ‘hoed my life today again in band, as we used to say in Driver’s Ed. He keeps putting Caleb on different parts for the new pieces, so I have to lead Matt Stern and David Barrie. I am in no way used to leading. I’ve gotten used to being ninth chair, Dead Last, whatever you want to call it. For one of the songs we’re playing (“Coronation March”, I think it’s called), Caleb has a totally different part from us and I have to be the person with the strongest sound. I know why Mr. Roberts did it, though. Together, Caleb and I tend to overpower. Separate, well, at least we’re playing different parts from each other so the sound is more divided. And I guess I need to learn to follow me and only me, not Caleb. The problem is, I’ve been following the whole time at Huron. I would even follow Luis when he sat next to me. All along, I should have been last chair. He was better at the time. The only thing I ever beat Luis at was the chromatic scale, so maybe that’s how I ended up with eighth. I’m damn good at the chromatic scale. They pounded it into my head at Tappan. The one good thing Tappan ever did for me, I guess. I hope they start to play the Christmas music soon. Last year, they started the first of November. I love Christmas music. “Do You Hear What I Hear?” is one of my favorites. I’m going to have to go check. ‘Bye.

September 23, 2006- Autumnal Equinox It’s kind of gray and dreary outside. Welcome to southeastern Michigan and the wonderful weather patterns. But, on the bright side, I turn fifteen the day after tomorrow! The only person I’m going to let make a huge deal of it is Amy. I would be embarrassed otherwise. The first day of fall. So far fall isn’t that great. Well, before I know it, it’s going to be snowing. That’s actually good, because I hate heat. I get all lazy and don’t want to move until nighttime. I would say what I did today, but the truth is not much happened. I slept on the couch last night, just because I was too tired to move. I didn’t wake up once. I love that couch. The only thing that woke me up was a call from Dr. Williams, probably with “important... Huron announcements”. He may be a nice guy, but I think he’s completely oblivious to what’s actually happening inside his school. Otherwise he would take other courses of action. I went to the library today. In the rain. I got soaked, and when I was walking towards the street getting wet, I realized I’m wearing the same shirt that I was wearing my freshman year at Interlochen during that Helm’s Deep rainstorm. Have I ever told that story? It was last year, during the third or fourth day. It had been pouring down rain the whole day. I remember sitting in sectionals with Caleb, Zach, Luis, and Laja asking our section leader if Mr. Roberts was planning to call off marching practice. Chara, our leader, said he wasn’t going to unless there was lightning, and even then maybe not. We were kind of disappointed, because by that day, we were all dead and wanted some extra rec time. So, about an hour later, we were on the marching field. The rain had started to let up a little, but it was short-lived. It started coming down even harder than before. We had to stand at attention with water dripping down our faces. My glasses were impossible to see out of, so halfway through I ripped them off and shoved them into the pocket of my wind pants. I do remember that day was one day where Peter Winters didn’t shout at me too much. I was starting to do better. I almost wish today was a weekday. I like school, even though lately I’m having a problem with the caliber of the people that go to Huron. I had to go to the dumbest high school in Ann Arbor. Maybe it’s because all of the smart people got filtered out into Phy Sci and Algebra 3/4, so there goes two of my classes. My Latin class is dumber than last year, but they’re okay. I’m going to be okay in there. I might actually have fun in the process. After all, would Mr. Vogel show Augustus? Most likely not. He doesn’t really like movies. Mr. Julius makes little comments while we’re watching it, funny comments. At the beginning of the movie (it’s a flashback movie), they have Augustus on his deathbed, and he says, “Have I played my part well in this comedy called life?” That’s about all he says until they flash back. The bell rang right after we saw that, and Mr. Julius said, “Okay then! Good movie. He has played his part well in this comedy called life. See you tomorrow.” We watched that part again a few days later. They put this deathmask on him at the beginning, and someone asked, “What, do they just smother him or something?” “No, no,” said Mr. Julius. “He’s already dead. That’s a deathmask they put on him.” “I don’t think he was dead yet,” someone objected. The class laughed. “’I’m not quite dead yet,’” joked Garrett next to me, quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I had to laugh at that. That’s one of my favorite movies. It’s just goofy. I like the part where they eat Sir Robin’s minstrels, and there is much rejoicing. I should ask Dad to put that on the cue again. It cracks me up. Anne’s kind of going through a hard time right now. Her dad and her aren’t really getting along. He takes everything out on her. I suggested that he’s depressed, which it sounds like he might be. He’s going to be forced to retire soon and they have a lot of expenses coming their way. He’s either majorly stressed or depressed. I’m just a kid, so I’m not about to suggest they go in for counseling, but maybe they should. It’s stuff like this that makes me want to be a psychologist. There are lots of people out there that need help. I want to help them. If I were about ten years older, I would do that, but I hate being out of control of stuff that I see happening and want to fix. The most I can be right now is a listening ear for the people closest to me. Maybe that’s all they need. I’m going to head out now. Goodbye. September 26, 2006 It’s good to be fifteen, baby. Sorry I didn’t have time to write yesterday. It was kind of a busy day. It was great going to school on my birthday, though. I have such great friends. Mataeso pretty much shouted it from coast to coast that it was my birthday. It was also Capsule Night. Dad had fun. He liked all my teachers. Even Julius. Which is good, because I’ll grudgingly admit that I like him now. I’m currently blasting Blink-182 and singing along. I wouldn’t do that if anyone was in the house. I love Blink, although I won’t admit it to most people. Well, some people. I told Hurley that I loved Blink. I don’t know what it is, but I can talk to him. Maybe it’s because we’re similar people. Are we? I don’t even know. I had a good day today. We took a Geometry quiz, which I kicked ass at. I love Geometry. It’s so easy, and people make it out to be this huge hard thing. Maybe I’m better at formula-based math? Or it’s because of Mr. Kim. I get everything he’s throwing at us. I turned in my interpretation of the Three Bears, which I wrote for Mr. Wilson. We’re studying the wide subject of “point of view”. I rewrote it from Mama Bear’s point of view. If I do say so myself, it’s pretty damn funny. Anne thinks so, too. I file shared it to her and she was cracking up. She said it was pure gold. Mr. Wilson gave everyone the option to read your story out loud to the class for extra credit points. No freaking way, I thought. I hate public speaking. It’s my Number One Fear these days. There were some... interesting ones. My old buddy Arthur Tsai (from Bio last year) read his out loud. That was in a category all by itself. It was the Three Little Pigs, only a bit different. You see, the wolf had a red Game Boy Color (Arthur’s electronics obsessed) to keep him from depression. The Three Little Pigs run off with it, and he’s trying to get it back. The whole time I was looking at the ceiling, trying not to crack up. During the middle of his story, I made the mistake of looking at Hurley. It was during the line, “And then the wolf said ‘WELL THEN I’LL BLOW YOUR BRICK HOUSE UP WITH A FRIGGIN’ NUCLEAR BOMB!’” Hurley caught my eye and shook his head, looking dubious. I almost had to shove my whole fist into my mouth to keep from cracking up. Paul also read his out loud. He was partners with a kid named Nick Austin. They’re both awesome writers, so theirs was actually good. There were some funny ones. Taylor Anderson (who used to go to Tappan in 6th grade) had a hilarious one. I make sure to look at Hurley when things are funny. He has the nicest smile. Band was fun. As usual. We laughed, we played, we screwed off. The whole band listened to the actual recording of the Bohemian Rhapsody. I sang along under my breath. Luis did too. There were times where it was me and him practically doing a duet. I can tell he loves that song. Don’t we all. I remembered today what song helped me get over him, or at least feel better for a time. “Sugar, We’re Going Down”, Fall Out Boy. Which is interesting, seeing as that song is a little disturbing and depressing. It’s good to have him back, though. I only realized recently how much hell I went through after he switched. And I’m usually not the romantic one. Latin’s getting better. Those are actually some really nice people. Mr. Julius isn’t bad, too. Dad really liked him, like I knew he would. Today we watched some more of Augustus, that really cool Roman movie. Michael Toner and Garrett joined our little antisocial island for the movie. I said, “You guys should sit over here more often.” I meant it. They’re great guys. This is only the second time in history that I’ve liked a tuba player. Funny how some things change. Speech wasn’t bad. Mr. Fox went on about Communication for awhile. The freshman moved out to her own seat, which is the one in front of me. I was glad. Everyone needs their own seat. We drew diagrams of the Communication Process to turn in later on. School is so easy. I swear we had a harder curriculum last year. I think I’m going to go exercise or something. I’m looking into losing weight. Okay, I’m out. See ya. September 27, 2006 I’m listening to “Seasons Of Love” (from Rent) because we’re playing it in band. Now it’s “You’re Beautiful”. Great. Okay, maybe I don’t mind that song. It just has some bad memories attached to it. I actually had a great day today. Some of the best news I gotten in awhile came. So, we were sitting in Speech. Hurley and I were talking as usual (ironically, while Mr. Fox was going through the Listening Process) and he asked me a question about me and the Walrus. “Weren’t you guys going out for awhile?” he asked. I nodded. “Yeah. I’m not sure if we still are or not.” I hope we’re not, I added in my head. We kept talking. Well, I should give some background first. I turned the Walrus down for Homecoming, but for a different reason than the obvious one. When Amy and Alex first hooked up, Amy said that she didn’t want to go to Homecoming because she would probably get all depressed. I said, “Hey, you don’t go, I don’t go.” So we agreed to just hang out together that night like we did the night of Coming Home. So, anyway, I turned him down. Hurley told me that he asked a girl named Grace to go with him, and I guess she said yes. That was some great news, for two reasons. Number One: I was almost sure Grace was Hurley’s girlfriend. They always act like they are in English. I guess they’re not going out, though. Number Two: If the Walrus can just turn around and ask another girl out, then he must not like me that much. Two words. Thank God. Maybe we’ll never have to formally break up and it will just be understood that we are or something. I actually had the best time in Speech with Hurley today, not just because of hearing that. We compared hellish middle school experiences. It sounds like St. Francis was a terrible, terrible school. If half of what he says is true, then Tappan is the Garden of Eden or something. I told him some of the true stuff about how oppressive my parents are. I don’t know what it is, but I can really talk to him and not worry about being judged. We share a lot of the same beliefs. Turns out he’s Catholic, too. Cool. Latin was actually fun. I think Garrett took my “you guys should sit over here more often” to heart. He sat next to me today. He’s an amusing guy. He made little comments all through Augustus. That’s a really sweet movie. Mr. Julius is cool for showing it. He also made a few comments during the movie. Halfway through, Garrett attempted to poke me, but his seat was too far away. I leaned into his finger. We both cracked up. Juniors are funny. I think I have a trumpet lesson tonight, so I’m going to go look over the stuff. ‘Bye now. September 28, 2006 Wow, it’s almost October. That month went fast. In Latin, it’s Octobres, with a long E. Unfortunately, no one speaks Latin, so there’s no way of putting in the long marks on this thing. Whatever. According to Mr. Fox, Hurley and I have one more chance until he moves us both. Actually, he said that to me. If we get caught talking during his lectures again, I guarantee that it’s going to be me that’s moved, not Hurley. He stopped the lecture twice yesterday to tell us to shut up. What he said was actually, “Claire, please hush.” Geez. Way to play favorites, Mr. Fox. I got an A on my Geometry quiz. Wow. I’m blown away. I have a B- in that class, now. It’s just because I got a shitty grade on my homework packet. All that means is I have to start doing my homework. No big stuff. We’re playing “Living On a Prayer” in band. Ah, I love marching season! We actually play well-known stuff. I found out today that Ashley’s my squad leader, though. Well, assistant squad leader. I think they made Ashley and Caleb squad leaders to split them up. Ryan Schrauben (our section leader at Interlochen) said that Ashley and Caleb had come up a lot in the staff meetings. Huh. I’m not surprised. I used to think they were going out, but they’ve just been together for a long time. It’s not their fault. Stupid people keep putting them together! We actually have a proper squad this year, believe it or not. A full five people. Wow. I did have a little moment of remembering when Mr. Roberts announced Luis as squad leader of the tubas. We used to stand next to each other. He was on my left, Amy on my right. We crashed. A lot. All three of us. It had been his first year, too, because he had been in Varsity Band the year before. I can hardly believe that was almost a year ago. Latin was pretty good, as usual, even though we didn’t watch the movie. We learned a little about the Roman gods and goddesses. It amazes me how much other writers take from mythology. Mr. Julius loves mythology. You can tell. I can see why the guy wrote a whole book. I had to hurry to Latin, because we got out a little late in band. I was walking quickly down the 3200 hallway when I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I spun like an idiot and looked around. To my right was Garrett (he had pulled the old tap-your-victim-on-the-opposite-shoulder thing), grinning. I smiled and said, “Hey, what’s up?” as we went down the hall together. He showed me a funny video of his lunch hour. He and his friends put those orange cones on their heads and went running around. It was hilarious. There was a lot of screaming involved. He seems to have taken up permanent station in the seat next to mine. He knows a lot about mythology. We took notes in Earth Science. Oh boy. Mr. Drake seems to like notes a lot. I guess it’s easier than teaching. The Walrus was absent, so it made for quite a stress-free class. I pretty much just talked to my friend Samantha. She’s pretty cool. She kind of dresses emo, but she’s the farthest thing from it. This song reminds me of Mr. Vogel, but also my new Latin class. “Make You Feel Better”, Red Hot Chili Peppers. It was one of the first songs I heard after I knew that Latin was going to be fine. Third hour also always made me feel better last year. It was the bright point in the day. Somewhere out there When love is your only friend We are the ones that will make you feel better Someone to spare When love is the only end We are the ones that will make you feel better Apparently, it’s about how the Red Hot Chili Peppers try to write music that will connect to their fans and make their day better, even if they’re feeling crappy or having a bad day or something. That song works for me. I like the line “when love is your only friend”. I don’t know why. It does make me realize how much I owe Mr. Vogel, though. He taught me how to work. I’d still be getting Cs if not for him. Well, I’m officially part of Key Club. Yay me. I took Amy. Sometimes it’s frustrating to be friends with someone who doesn’t really know much. She had never heard of the achievement gap, so I was explaining it to her. She asked me, “So would we be tutoring black people?” An Asian chick turned around and said, “Wow, that was so racist.” We got into a whole thing about it. It pissed me off so much. It took about a century and a half to convince her that we’re not racist. I said that we have a very dear friend who’s black (that being Fuzz) and that we have other friends that are black. People are just stupid. I think I’m just going to find my article for Mr. Fox and then head off. Get some exercise. All right. ‘Bye. September 29, 2006 It’s Friday! I love Friday! No homework, no nothing. I did have to baby-sit, but that’s okay. I love Ross. He’s the easiest fifteen bucks I’ve ever made, at the risk of sounding bad. Amazing how video games bring people together. I got kind of pissed at Amy today, though. It was at lunch, and she told me that she had been describing my school picture (which sucks) to Alex. That pissed me off. She knows damn well that I don’t look like that, plus I had allergies that day. I straight out accused her of sabotaging me. I could see what was happening here. She’s afraid that Alex will think I’m prettier or some crap like that. So therefore she shows and describes shitty pictures of me around to the guy who’s opinion actually matters a bit to me. She’s kind of mad at him, too. Apparently what happened was she called him last night and was telling him about how we got our pictures today. She asked him to say something about her picture when he gets it or something and he said, “Does it have to be positive?” Even I winced at that, when I heard. I usually just tell her that he “didn’t mean it like that”, but this is unmistakable. Nice one, Alex. But strangely I see why he said that. He doesn’t want to get into the whole “don’t you think I’m pretty?” stuff with her. Amy’s very sensitive about how she looks to other people. She takes it hard if she finds out one person doesn’t think she’s pretty, especially her own boyfriend. But still, she didn’t have to take me down with her. She actually TOLD me that she had done that so he wouldn’t flirt with me. I can’t believe they’ve actually been going out for two months, or not going out. This isn’t going to work. It’s strange, I want them to break up, but then again I don’t. I don’t want Amy to be depressed. Still, Alex is officially A Touchy Subject. I’m not sure it’ll be any better if they break up, but if they did maybe I would actually be allowed to be friends with him. He couldn’t flirt with me then, either. Who knows. We may never be at peace again. Luckily, I didn’t get moved or kicked out in Speech, because that freshman took his seat again. Damn, I hate freshmen. Otherwise, pretty normal period. We were outside for the first time today in band. I have a good squad this year, although I think I miss the one of last year, the one with Zach and Luis. We had some fun. I think that the freshman next to me, goes by the name of Peter, is kind of into me, though. Whenever I look over, he’s either smiling or staring at me. I just hope that if he is, I don’t become like Luis was to me. I don’t ever want anyone to like me if they’re going to be in that much pain. And I shouldn’t be talking, because I’ve been known to start liking people during marching season. Ashley’s not a bad squad leader. Laja is our head squad leader, which means that Ashley will be running the show. Laja’s the quietest guy ever. Not so great with the orders. Usually I just ask Mr. Roberts when he’s walking by what’s going on. He likes me these days. I guess sixth chair is a lower-profile position in the band, as opposed to Dead Last. Well, as the reader of this knows by now, I was Second To Dead Last, until events beyond my control screwed things up. Damn tuba players. We went to Outback Steakhouse for my (belated) birthday. It was great. I had five Cokes. What can I say? He kept bringing them out! I’m sure I’m going to have to go to the bathroom like aaaaaalllllll night. The night that I won’t be sleeping through at all. Okay, I’m about to head out. Until we meet again. September 30, 2006 The very last day of September. Dang. How’s that for a fast month? I’m trying to think of what today would be in Latin. Saturday, Saturn’s day? Who was Saturn in Rome? Maybe I should look it up. It’s the day before the first day of the month. I forget what that’s called. Starts with a K. Wow, I’m a great Latin student. I almost don’t want it to be Saturday. I love school. Okay, I just looked up Saturn on Wikipedia, and the Roman equivalent is Kronos, father of Zeus. This would be a good time to learn my second declension noun endings. Anyway, I love school. This has been the best year ever. And the best part is it’s only September. We have eight more months of this to go. October is good, though, because in October, D.J. MacHale is going to release the title of the next book. It was originally going to be Pendragon the Great, but he changed it for some reason. I hope Spader comes back. He’s the coolest, and he had to be taken out right when he had done some growing up. If he dies, heads will roll! It’s good that Mr. Drake was gone on Friday, because that means no homework. Zach Baker’s mom was the sub. The first time she was the sub, I suspected that she was Zach’s mom. They look a lot alike. Zach’s little brother Nick must look like their dad or something. He’s kind of a loud freshman. Well, I was too. I guess I shouldn’t be talking. We’re going to the Tigers’ game tonight. I’m not really a baseball person, but I think I have to go. It’s more for David than for anyone. I’m going to go see if Mr. Kim’s homework is doable. Damn geometric proofs. ‘Bye. October 2, 2006 I’m starting Drivers Ed. today! Yes! Of course, we won’t be driving, but at least it’s a start. I bet I’ll be the oldest in that class, with a bunch of punk freshmen. Fourteen and nine months is the legal driving age around here, at least to start the course. I hope it’s not too boring. I hear the first day is. I got a job! Tappan officially hired me to help with the practice club. Mr. Smith said he’d work it so I get volunteer hours. Nice guy, Mr. Smith. Michael actually came in with me because he thought I was up to something sketchy. I wanted to say hello to some teachers and I knew Michael probably wouldn’t want to hang out. Mr. Smith was happy to see us. I haven’t seen that guy since last February or January. Turns out we did visit one teacher. We were walking away from the music hallway and Michael stopped and grinned at me. “Should we go find Thobe?” he asked. I nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!” Mr. Thobe is probably one of our all-time favorite teachers in this world. He teaches seventh grade World Geography and Language Arts. He had both Michael and me. Now, in seventh grade, Michael was a smartass troublemaker and I was lazy as hell. So one might see why we respect him. I respect anyone who can deal with the two younger Beaulieus. We were terrible. This time around, I apologized for being so stubborn. I drove the poor man crazy. He laughed. We had some fun there. He hasn’t seen Michael in about five years. He laughed, shook hands with both of us, and then told us all about how life at Tappan is going. Sounds like the seventh grade is calmer this year. Some years it’s really bad, other years it’s okay. “But I’ll quit the year no one acts up,” Mr. Thobe said, nodding sagely. He has a kid now! I couldn’t believe what he named him, though. Solomon. I had figured Mr. Thobe more for a name like Zach or something. I do remember Cam had once straight out asked him in seventh grade whether he wanted kids or not. He was going through a string of these really personal questions. “Are you married?” Cam had asked. “Yep,” he shot back. “Do you have any kids?” “Nope.” “Are you trying to have kids?” The result was immediate from all us who used to eat lunch in Mr. Thobe’s room. “Cam!” “A little personal, are we?” I put in. “What’s wrong with you?” Ha. Poor Cam took a lot of abuse in seventh grade. People liked him, they just thought he was a dweeb. Which he is. But he’s a good friend. School was actually good today. For a Monday. My face got kind of sunburned from the Tigers’ game yesterday so all day long I was hearing, “Wow, Claire. You’re really sunburned!” Amy flat out laughed at me. Which I was kind of annoyed with, but whatever. It’s not my fault I’m fair. Hurley also laughed at me, but it was a goofy laugh, not a condescending one. Just one of many things I love about that guy. We had fun today in Speech. I talked to Hurley, but made it up to Mr. Fox by answering every single question he asked until he said, “Okay, someone who is NOT Claire, please.” I think he’s starting to like me a little better. Probably because I hang out with the esteemed Matt Hurley, though. I swear Mr. Fox is about to adopt him. I had some fun with that freshman Gwen, though. I would whisper “Gwen!” and when she turned around I would be like, “I didn’t call you. Hurley, did you call her?” He was quick on the uptake, and would grin and shake his head every time. Turns out he was at the Tigers’ game, too. We were talking about it in Speech (as usual). “What row were you?” he asked. “Uhh, about seventeen-ish.” “Seventeen?” asked Gwen, turning around. “What’s seventeen?” “That’s how old we are,” I said, straight-faced. “We’re very old sophomores.” “Seriously?” she asked. “No!” Hurley and I said together, rolling our eyes. Freshmen are so impressionable. I hope we weren’t that bad a year ago. Something tells me I was. Freshmen are fun, though. As is Speech. It’s so great to just look to your right and be able to admire the guy you really like. Sometimes he's just so cute I want to cry. Wow, that doesn’t sound like me at all. It’s true, though. Hm. Okay, I think I’m out of here. Peace out. October 4, 2006 It’s been awhile. I haven’t had a lot of time. My schedule just exploded with activities for reasons I don’t know. I started running the practice club with Cam yesterday. The middle schoolers are actually kind of fun. I was with two low brass players I kind of know from around. They’re good. Really. We didn’t have such good low brass my year. Frankly, we don’t have good low brass right now. Driver’s Ed. is going good. I drive this Friday. I already warned everyone off the roads. Right now, I know I’m going to be bad. I like the instructor, though. His name is Todd. Todd Heck. No joke. The class is full of these really spacy girls and a bunch of quiet freshmen. Oh boy. The class can be fun, though. I shouldn’t be complaining. I’m getting a permit out of this. School was good. I really have to start doing my Geometry homework. I completely forgot last night. We’re doing proofs, which I am predictably bad at. I sort of get it, but I get algebraic ones more than geometric ones. In an odd twist. I thought I was supposed to be bad at algebra. That class is annoying. It’s a good thing I have Wyatt. He livens things up a little. We took a test in English. It was incredibly easy. I got it done in about twenty minutes. The only hard part was identifying the conflict in a short story he gave us. Otherwise, I nailed it. I was the first one to turn it in. Hurley got done a few minutes after me. “How’d you do?” I mouthed when he sat back down. He grinned and gave me a thumbs up. I nodded. He went back for the extra credit. It was only one question, so it took him only a short amount of time. He caught my eye and mouthed, “Where do you turn it in?” I glanced at Mr. Wilson. He nodded. We had a ClassZone.com assignment for Earth Science, but the site was acting up, so Mr. Drake pushed it back a day. Turns out the site is still being weird. I like Mr. Drake. He’ll always listen to what you have to say. Even if it’s something totally random. I wonder if he has any kids. I think he would be a good dad. In band, we marched. As usual. In the rain. Mr. Roberts flatly refused to call off the practice and just let us play inside. We were learning some new arrangements, so we screwed up a lot. It didn’t help that Ashley forgot the sheet that has all of our positions on it. She eventually went over and snatched Luis’s sheet. He stands right behind me. Flashback to last year, anyone? I don’t talk to him, anyway. If I’m turning around, it’s to talk to Michael Toner. He’s a cool guy, for a freshman and a tuba player. That’s usually a bad combo. Damn tuba players. Today, Mr. Fox went on and on and on and ON about plagiarism and cheating. Damn, that guy can ramble. I bounced the freshman out of Hurley’s seat. I straight-out told her, “No. Don’t even try it.” It’s way more fun to sit next to Hurley. We tried not to look at each other during his plagiarism speech. According to school rules, we should both be expelled by now. Heh. Okay, I’m going to go eat. See ya. October 5, 2006 It’s all windy and cold today. It made for nice weather on the marching field today, though. We need weather like that more often. I wouldn’t say we’re good yet, but we’re getting there. I think we had a better drumline last year for some reason, though. They just don’t seem very loud. I must say, this year in marching is a definite improvement over last year. For the first time in history, I actually have all my paperclips and rubber bands on my flip folder! Last year, I almost got kicked out of the game because I didn’t have any of that during inspection. I was confused. It really didn’t help that we had no squad leader. Zach kind of took over, but he was only a sophomore then, technically too young to be head squad leader. He still isn’t very good at lining up. Well, he’s a junior. There’s still time. Standing between Henry (from Tappan) and Peter is turning out to be okay. Henry is dumb these days, but he’s funny, I’ll give him that. Peter is honestly one of the wisest freshmen I’ve ever met. He’s not with the stereotype of the stupid freshman. Wish I could have been like that. I almost didn’t talk at this time last year. It wasn’t until about January that I started running my mouth. I’m more outgoing now, I think. Amy and I have sort of started a new thing. We have these phrases that, when taken out of context, make absolutely no sense. We have about three so far. 1. “And, if you will look to your left, that person is not your door.” 2. “Are you avoiding a certain walrus?” 3. “Explain why we are running from Sexy Li’l Convict.” That’s just a start. Knowing Amy and me, it’ll expand. Oh, and Sexy Li’l Convict? Amy’s been calling Luis that for awhile now. It came from a shirt he has that says “inmate” on it. It went from there. I think by now it’s gotten around to him that I’m less than fond of him. I honestly don’t know why I keep telling people that. I don’t mind the guy. He’s funny as hell, and he’s perfectly friendly sometimes. Maybe I’m worried it’ll come back. I had just about the worst dream last night. I dreamed that Michael was dead. It’s funny, because I’ve had this dream a couple times before, but the last time it rattled me this much was when I was about six. I swear it was incredibly vivid. Somehow, I just got the news he was dead. I went up to the computer and pulled a face like I was about to cry. Turns out, I did start crying. I think David tried to comfort me. “I just can’t believe he’s gone,” I said. All of Michael’s dreams shot through me, like being a pilot and being in the Air Force. I knew he would never do any of that. Then, it was weird, because he was sort of hanging out with me, even though he was dead. If possible, it made the fact that he was dead even harder, because I knew he would have to leave for wherever he was going next. We went to some railroad tracks for some reason. I was still crying that my brother was dead, even though his spirit or something was right there. I think I actually heard someone say, “He will always be with you.” I was still crying, and this girl made fun of me for crying. “For your information,” Michael said (even though he wouldn’t start out like that), “Her brother just died.” She made some other comments, and Michael tried to punch her but stopped short because he couldn’t hit a girl. She was laying on the ground, so I strode over to her and said, “Stand up.” When she did, I punched her. Really hard. She went down and I got on top of her and started punching her face, but for some reason, I wasn’t doing any damage. I wanted to hurt her and I think I wanted to kill her. Then we were back home and Michael was sprawled out on our green couch like usual. He pulled out his cell phone and said, “Yeah, this guy from beyond the grave is going to give you a call.” I knew from his tone that he meant himself. Then I woke up at 6:00 sharp. As I turned my clock to switch off my alarm, my first thought was, “Oh, thank God! It was only a dream! He’s not really dead!” I haven’t had one of those dreams in a long time. I know what it means, though. Fear of separation. The most vivid thing was just how sad I was and I knew he was never coming back. October 6, 2006 It was my first day out driving! And I didn’t crash or rear-end or maim anyone! Todd said I did really good. I thought the first hour was going to be really boring, with him just going over stuff I already knew. But, nope! He just asked me some basic questions, like, “Where’s the speedometer?” or “How much gas do we have?”, stuff that was pretty easy. We got done with that in about three minutes and he said, “Okay, go straight.” He would give the command for where to go, but he did no grabbing of the wheel or screaming. We went out on the busy roads after about fifteen minutes. How cool is that? Any other teacher would have had me going around in circles for hours. He steered me onto Scio Church Rd., which is pretty busy on a Friday at five o’clock. We went all around. My only flaw is that I take left turns a little tight and fast, and I tend to floor it when the light changes. Going through intersections was a little scary at first, because of all those people. I can’t believe Todd actually let me go through intersections on the first day. Maybe it was because I told him I had driven a little before. The extent of my experience was the parking lot at Allen, going in circles while Mom shouted, “Hit the brake! Hit the brake!” And it was for fifteen or less minutes last night. Whatever. He bought it and I had a lot of fun. Going straight is actually harder than it looks. You have to move the wheel a lot, even though you’re going straight. I let the other kid go first because he came late and I knew Todd would cut him off at five (he came at twenty after four), so I would get more driving time. I know, I’m so devious. I went farther than him and it was great. Can’t wait until Tuesday. We watched Shrek in English because Mr. Wilson wanted us to identify similes and metaphors and such. I had forgotten what an awesome movie that was. It’s pretty funny, too. Not as funny as Hoodwinked, which we also watched for “point of view” but still pretty good. I love the park where Donkey and Shrek go to the Information part of Duloc and the little wooden figures sing the funny song. Another good part of English was that Hurley gave me an interesting book that he was telling me about in Speech. It’s called The Overachievers. It’s about how students in America are pressured by parents and teachers to get into a top college and how it destroys kids. I love it so far, because I’ve always said that kind of thing. If it were up to me, I would change the whole system of Huron. We have a terrible reputation for being “rough” and the reason is because the discipline isn’t strong enough and they’re focusing on the wrong areas. Not to mention our curriculum sucks. There’s absolutely NO help from our “police officer” who’s supposed to be enforcing the law (he’s really a Rent-A-Cop). We need competent people in authority, first of all, including counselors that are actually in their offices half of the time and do their jobs. And we shouldn’t be shy about firing people who can’t do the job right, even if they are black or a woman or whatever. Substandard teaching should not be acceptable. It’s only ruining kids who could be influential in the future. We need people like Mr. Vogel and Mr. Julius and Mr. Drake for EVERY subject. One teacher can change a kid’s life. Mr. Vogel turned my school career and my work ethic around. Why is it impossible to find people like that for authority positions? You know, I don’t know why I can’t give speeches. I just reread that and that’s pretty good. If I do say so myself, I’m a pretty kickass writer, but still. That’s one of the best things I’ve ever written. Wow. On that subject, I’m going to go read the novel Mr. Wilson gave us. ‘Bye. October 7, 2006 It’s Saturday and I have no homework. Wow. The only homework is to kind of look through the new book that Mr. Wilson gave us and to study for Mr. Drake’s test. Damn, never mind. I do have homework. Mr. Drake’s review questions. I would be bitching about it if I didn’t respect Mr. Drake so much. This morning, I woke up at four and was ready to go, even though I went to sleep at 11:30 at night. I woke up again at six, when my alarm went off because I totally forgot to turn it off. Funny that I should need less sleep right after our discussion in Latin about how teenagers and old people need more sleep and kids and young people need less sleep. That kicked off when Mr. Julius read his sententia of the day, which said that seven hours of sleep is cool for everyone and the whole class begged to differ. Garret had actually read the study and described it to the class. That guy knows just about everything. I’ve been reading The Overachievers obsessively today. What an awesome book. I’m going to recommend it to every teacher I know. It’s an interesting story, because it follows six kids but also talks about other stuff in the education system. I have to say, it seems like something Hurley would read. I swear, he’s going to become a visionary or something. He’s always thinking of ways to change things that are obviously screwed up, which would explain why he’s into politics and such. You know, in some ways he reminds me of Zach. Or how Zach would have been, maybe. Why am I not happy it’s Saturday? I didn’t realize I liked school so much. Want to hear something funny? Latin is once again my favorite class, and Mr. Julius is probably my favorite teacher this year, followed closely by Mr. Drake. I think I owe everything I love about my current Latin class to that ninety-year-old man who was our sub that day. I also give credit to Garret and Michael Toner. That day saved my ass, but those two gave me back my Latin bug. Not to mention Mr. Julius. I love that guy. Not to say I don’t still miss Mr. Vogel, but it’s good to know that I’m going to be okay. I think I’m going to do Mr. Drake’s homework so I don’t have to do it tomorrow. Peace out, y’all. October 8, 2006 Okay, I’ve got a problem of morals here. Right about now, I could step in and save Amy and Alex’s whole relationship, or I could let them break up. Amy’s going to ditch Alex if he doesn’t react to her school picture in a satisfactory way, “like a boyfriend”, as she says. I don’t know what to do. Lenel says to just let this work itself out, because it’s their crap. Maybe she’s right. This doesn’t concern me, unless you count that Alex is my friend. Today has really been uneventful, almost boring. I finally got around to doing Mr. Drake’s homework, because I didn’t really get to it yesterday. It was actually hard. Well maybe I made it harder, because I was listening to New Found Glory while doing it. Oh yeah. They have a new album out. I love it. Their style is just a little different this time, but it’s good because they’re not so whiny. It’s a better sound. I bought six songs out of the twelve or thirteen available. “When I Die” is my favorite so far, followed closely by “Love and Pain”. You can tell it’s still New Found Glory, just more distinguished. School is tomorrow. Yes. These weekends are almost too long. I think I’m going to run into trouble with my informative speech, though. I haven’t done much research or done any of the handouts. Not to mention I forgot my current event last Friday. No wonder the man hates me. I talk during his class and don’t turn stuff in. We may be eating right about now, so I’ll see you later. Peace. October 9, 2006 It’s official. Amy’s ditching Alex. I don’t know what to do. She was going on today at lunch about how much he sucks as a boyfriend. Alex was right, she is clingy. Well, it’s as we predicted. This is the breakup we were all dreading. The only thing to do now is pray for the best, and hope he doesn’t take it personally. School was good, as always. There was a sub in English, and he wasn’t out of it, but he liked to think he was more in control of the class than he actually was. It was almost funny. He didn’t care that much when I crossed the room to pick up my science homework from Hurley. I was so proud of him. He actually did his own homework except for two questions. And part of the flow chart. Oh, whatever. I’ll take what I can get. We did research for Speech in the library. We get these really cool Apple laptops now if we want to do research. I took full advantage of the fact that Mr. Fox wasn’t paying attention and played on Addictinggames.com for the whole period. Gwen (our freshman buddy) was actually doing her work, while Hurley searched the crime statistics for Ann Arbor and Detroit. Turns out he’s not going to Homecoming with anyone, which has me confused. I thought he was going with Grace, who I thought the Walrus asked. Maybe she broke their date or something? And whatever happened to her and the Walrus? It’s so damn hard these days to follow who’s going out with who. It was an easy lab day today in Earth Science. It was sort of hard to grasp at first, but we got it. I helped my friend Samantha so I didn’t have to work with the Walrus. Lucky she was actually here today. I hate it when she misses school because then I have no one to talk to. Except the Walrus and Hurley. But it can be hard to talk to either one of them. I really dug myself a hole here, didn’t I? Band is getting grueling. I think I’ll actually be happy when marching season is over, even though I make such a thing of how fun it is. My arms burn constantly and Mr. Roberts is always like, “Posture, people! Posture!” Means that we’re not supposed to let our arms droop, even if we can’t hold the freaking piece of metal up anymore! My arms were still burning in Latin. Maybe I should feel more sorry for Michael Toner, because he plays tuba. They have to carry the brass ones now, not the crappy white ones. This former Latin guy came to Mr. Julius’s class and hung out for awhile. Garrett seemed to know him and they laughed for like the whole period. He’s actually becoming a really good friend. Funny how Latin brings people together. He saluted me today in the hall before lunch. Today, he decided to have some fun with my phone. The compartment that I keep my phone was open, and his eye caught my phone. He pulled it out. I thought, “Well, whatever. It’s just Garrett. I guess that’s okay.” He started beeping through it, and he kept it awhile. Finally, he grinned and slid my cell back to me. I glanced at it. My phone banner now read “Garrett Owns Me”. Oh great. I had to enlist Michael’s help getting it off. He took one look at my phone and exploded with laughter. Well, Alex is on, but I can’t say anything. That’s not what friends do. And anyway, what would I say? “Hey, Alex, Amy’s about to kick your ass to the curb”? Poor Alex. He doesn’t deserve this. Maybe he’ll be better off, though. He always does tell me how Amy calls him a million times and he’s busy anyway. I wouldn’t be going out with anyone if I had the schedule he has. Especially with a girl like Amy, who likes her attention from her boyfriend. Alex probably needs someone more laid back, someone who wouldn’t freak out if he didn’t call. Someone who is not Amy. This is getting too hard on both of them. Let’s see... I don’t have such a bad schedule tonight. I go to Driver’s Ed. and that’s about it. Wow, a free schedule. That’s a new thing for me lately. Whatever. I’m out. ‘Bye. October 11, 2006 Amy and Alex broke up last night. I can’t decided if I’m happy or sad. I’ve been wanting for them to break up for awhile, but I’m not sure this is going to make things better. I need to talk to him. Hopefully he’s okay. Amy said he took it well. That’s good. I don’t need any more complicated stuff. It turns out I have a 96% in English. I never thought my highest grade would ever be in English. I kind of screwed it last year, although that might have been Mrs. Wright’s fault. When Mr. Wilson called me up and showed me, he actually smiled and said, “Good job.” I haven’t gotten a compliment in English in forever. Latin, yes. English, no. Actually, truth be told, Latin is my highest grade. Mr. Julius says I have something around 100% because I do so much extra credit on his quizzes. Michael Toner has about 150%. No joke. We had fun in there today. Garrett had more fun with my cell. He changed the background to the surfer dude and wrote, “Death to All” in the banner. “Oh, that’s cheerful,” I said sarcastically after he gave it back. He’s a good guy, for a junior. Hurley was actually gone today. I started pumping the Walrus in Earth Science as to where he was. In the end, he said he didn’t know. “But we all miss him,” he said, mock tearfully. I laughed. “Grace misses him,” he muttered almost- angrily? I thought I saw something there. That would be hilarious. The Walrus and I, who are supposed to be something of a couple, like Grace and Hurley, who are also supposed to be going out (apparently? I still don’t get that). This is starting to get screwed up again, like last year. We got our audition music today in band. Unfortunately, it’s not the same song as last year. Not that I did so great on that. I know I could have, but I didn’t practice. It was actually Luis that made me realize I was out of time to practice. It was about halfway through October of last year, and I was outside at lunch throwing a football with Cam. I saw Luis come across the arch with a girl I assumed was his girlfriend. They came out every day to get his marching cornet, which was on his bike. Every day I tried to throw a perfect spiral when they came out. Yes, I was a stupid showoff freshman. This day was different though. He caught my eye after pulling his cornet off his bike and said, “Hey, Claire, have you been practicing for the audition?” I threw the football. Perfect spiral. “Yep. The auditions are at the end of next week, aren’t they?” Shit, I realized. They are. “Whoa, are they?” he asked. “Yeah, I think.” I think we both kind of gave each other a wake-up call, there. The irony is that we ended up being eighth and ninth chair anyway. I always thought that it should have been me that was last chair in the first place, because my audition was bad with a capital B. Maybe things would have been different, then, if our chairs had been switched. It would be interesting to know. Well, I’m actually going to practice this year, because I need to at least maintain my chair. There’s no way Ashley and Caleb are beating me this year. I’m just as loud as Caleb and have better tone than Ashley. Blake, well, I probably won’t beat him. But I can dream. I won’t be last, because there’s no way Peter, David Barrie, and Jay Bouma are beating me. Matt Stern might beat me. Probably not, though, if I practice. Which I will. Okay, I need food. I’m out of here. After this song. ‘Bye. October 12, 2006 It was just snowing outside. I swear. Snow in October. Wow. I bet it’s going to be a bad winter. Well, I don’t have my old paper route anymore, so I guess I’m cool with that. I have no idea what happened at school today, because I stayed home sick. I had a bit of a stomach ache this morning, but I just felt like I shouldn’t go today for some reason. Today was my one day off of the year or of the semester or whatever. I give myself one per semester. Lucky for me Mom bought it, because she knows how much I love school. Last year she would have been like, “Uh... no.” Crap, we march tomorrow. It was okay last year, but I was in disarray with my flip folder and my clothes and all that. It was just more marching last year for some reason. We only march to one song this year, and last year we marched to all of them. Plus a stupid dance. Amy and I never quite got the stupid dance down. We ended up crashing into each other at the game anyway. I wonder what we did today. It’s actually a good thing I didn’t go. If I had, Mr. Fox would have chewed me out for not doing my outline. I hope we didn’t do any labs in Drake’s class. If we did, that means I’m writing a paper on whatever he made us do. I also wonder what I missed in Geometry. I hate falling behind. With my luck, Mr. Kim probably went over something really important. Whatever they say tonight, I’m going to Driver’s Ed. I can’t miss that. Todd will make me write a paper. I realized last night that I’m really going to miss him and that class once we’re all done. He’s a great guy. Driver’s Ed. has actually been fun, instead of boring like I thought it was going to be. I’m going tomorrow. In high school, you can’t miss more than a day unless you plan on dropping out. And I miss everyone. Funny how just one day can do that to you. I’m actually sorry I missed Latin. Latin has been so fun for me this year, strangely enough. Opinions can really change, although you would think I would know that by now. I’m heading out. ‘Bye. October 13, 2006 Friday the Thirteenth. Anne of St. Francis’s birthday is in exactly two months. Speaking of which, I got some news today, first from Amy, then from Cam. He and Anne finally kissed. I’m actually glad. For some reason, I can’t shake off the feeling that that was supposed to be me, though. I’m not jealous, but I can’t say I’m okay. It’s odd. Maybe it’s just me being protective of Cam again. Well, we march tonight. Maybe it’ll actually be fun. It was stressful last year, but I’m no freshman anymore. And it was so much harder last year. I think it was just a bad year to be a freshman. It’s going to be cold tonight. I just hope it doesn’t rain or snow or whatever. Turns out I didn’t miss much yesterday. I just have to go in Monday to Drake’s class to make up a movie I missed. And do some math, but I filled in most of it while Mr. Kim was talking. Mr. Samulak was hanging out in his classroom today. Man, I love that guy. Also, I got eighty out of eighty on my test! That has seriously never happened to me before. I stared at the paper in disbelief, sure that there was a mistake. It was great. I didn’t miss much in Latin, but I knew I wouldn’t. I caught Garrett at lunch and asked him. He said that we actually got homework, which is a first for Mr. Julius. He and Toner were probably screwing around again. After we were done, I walked away with Amy down the hall. “You so like him,” she accused. “What?” I asked, caught by surprise. “No, I don’t.” “Yes, you do.” “No, I don’t. I just think he’s cute,” I countered. “Well, that’s always how it starts, isn’t it?” she said knowledgeably. I had to roll my eyes at that one. I spent the rest of the day trying to convince her that I am in no way attracted to Garrett Schramm. She doesn’t believe me. I can tell. Maybe I can see why she thinks that, but she’s wrong. At least right now. She can shove it in my face if I ever do like him. We skipped the pep rally that was today. Amy, my good self, Karen, and Grace Saunders hung out in the 7200 hallway in the alcove where the wrestling thugs used to hang during late lunch of last year. We talked about Mr. Drake and band and all that. Karen and Grace both have Mr. Drake, too. They love him, as almost everyone does. I’ve told Amy a million times to try and switch into his class at the semester. She hates Snapke with a passion. Well, Michael is about to get his counselor, Mr. Gipson, fired. He and that guy have been going at it forever. Mr. Gipson is a lazy, incompetent little man who only holds the job because our school is afraid to fire black people. He hasn’t been faithful to Michael’s deadlines for his college applications and finally it came to a head yesterday. He threw Michael out of his office and told him he had a “bad attitude”. He also was so pissed off he told Michael, “I can change things, you know.” Meaning, that he threatened to screw with his applications to get back at him. So, Michael called Dad and said Mr. Gipson had threatened him. Dad was livid, as one might guess. He called up Mr. Gipson and he hung up on him after Dad started chewing him out. Dad called back and pretty much said that he had a lot of nerve hanging up on him, since he pays his salary (as a taxpayer). Mr. Gipson flipped out on that and he and Dad argued for awhile, and they ended up having a meeting today at 9:30. Apparently Mr. Gipson got his ass handed to him. Michael wrote up a list of his faults and pretty much the chronicle from the beginning. He said that he had nothing to back himself up. Dad pretty much called him pathetic, so Mr. Gipson attempted to leave a few times. In the end, Dad and Michael got what they wanted, which was Mr. Gipson keeping his hands off the applications. It’s in the hands of Michael’s principal now. Thankfully. Okay, I need to start with the marching stuff and make sure I have everything. And get some food. Until next time.