If my focus is social skills, I'm not doing an amazing job. I continue to find myself in socially awkward situations. Everyone around me, generally, is uptight. That's just my situation. I felt for a moment that my focus was going to be on self-development again, but I'm not thinking of balance. I need to learn to balance my life. There's this big hole that I keep finding myself in. Not going anywhere in particular with my life. Careening toward death. No goals. No illusions... just boredom, laziness and apathy. Should I tear something down? I feel trapped by life. There is no... escape? I can't escape life or death. I don't want either. What a fucked up situation! Haha

It seems like there is nothing else to say, discover, create, learn, see, experience... There is no fundamental truth. With this void to fill, this philosophical emptiness in my mind, what is in store for me? What will I commit myself to? Is there anything that moves me enough to swallow my whole being? Is there something that will infinitely inspire me? I must create and interpret the meaning of my life, accept a cowardly life of despair or commit suicide. I don't intend on ever killing myself, though. People are the most important part of life. What can I do for the people around me and what can I do for humanity as a whole? Does committing my life to social good mean sacrifice?