*moments arent everything . and its hard to remember . but mike metz tought me that . dont waste a loong time happiness for a moment . its not worth it . something health tought me too . the time where i was awake in that hell of a class . he didnt call =[ why ? these are the wonders of relationships . why you stay with them? do you love them? why do you love them? do they make you happy? are you happy? wonders of life is all... tired... going to bed. lata [shleeeeeeeeeeeee] last song heard: Keep singin' my song . artist: christina aguliera . xx.

thanksgiving . kinda weird, doesnt rlly feel like it is . i got drunk , haha on monday . wow , so much fun . i swear to god tho , i kno he doens lie it . and i kno that he worries , and i dont kno why i think this but i like to make him worry and just sit there all night and worry about me ! beucase he isnt there o make sure i am. talking to ashley .. i mean she cheated on dan !! and i cant have that happen to me and mike . but she is alwyas saying how she doesnt wanna do it cuz of him , and i dont want to either , i dont want him to be worried . i mean he has nationals this weekend, but it is so much fucking fun . i am going to go now . becuase my sister is in the room . WHERE IS MIKE!!? ahh i miss my baby ok well ill go now . cyaa last song heard: attractive today artist: mcs . xx.

this site got messed up . i dont even kno , i tried to go on here , so it was fucked up , i am so happy it's back tho . i dont even kno where i was last time i wrote in here, becuase i thought that i could never get my journal back . last night, i cut again. i dont even kno why i do it, maybe i think that it takes the pain away , or maybe i think its something that can take out all my anger on. but after its like, wow couldnt i have dont something else with that ? my mom and dad were just talking about sneaking out . it's really funny, becuase i have never snuck out in my life . i think they are so paranoid, that they are making it seem like i have, even tho i have never done anything like that in my life . i can sit inside on a friday night, i have nowhere to go , and frankly, i don't want to go anywhere. i dont think they really kno who i am , and that sucks. a good night for me is just being inside, talking to mike, watching a movie, listening to music. i love being with myself... i dont kno why it's jusst what makes me happiest . i miss so many things about being younger, but then again i think that always happens . you always miss what you don't have . x-masss ! finally it's coming again, i can't waitttt. i love this time of year . sometimes i need a break from people, but its never mike . its weird . i can spend time with him all day , or all night, and i dont ever need to jbe away from him. but other people , i feel like i want to fly on a plane and just be alone . thats maybe why i love to ski so mnuch . its just me, and the mountain, and i can glide down it, by myself, alone, and at my own pace. there is no pressure , its the wind in your hair , and you feel like you can fly down this white hill that bnlaknkets the serene western horizons . i can't even being to explain the happiness i feel from it . school is good , mike is good , i'm bored , and tired , and so happy thanksgiving break is here . "sad song with nothing to say , " mcr, best record . last song heard: disenchanted [LOVE.] artist: MCR.