i guess this is a recap on not only this week, but this year. i'm sitting her just thinking, a year ago today, i met mike. a year ago today, i knew nothing about this school, and now its my home. a year ago i was scared, and i wasn't myself. i found myself in 7th grade. i found the me who i wanted to be. i found the girl that i could trust, love, and be loved. i found the boy that i love with all my heart, and i found friends that i love too. the game was fun too. i just wish that last year i could be who i am now, so i could enjoy it like i do now. i think i found the love and confidence in myself to be okay with who i was. i look in the mirror and instead of saying all the bad things, i look at the things i like. a part of feeling good about yourself are the people around you. mike makes me feel so beautiful, and the other people around me, like ryan, and carly, and ash and bel. they make me feel happy too. when i am around mike, i swear i am as happy as i can ever be. i cant stop smiling and laughing. i saw trevor and anne today and i looked at them, and i didnt think "ohh they dont make out, so they're not a good couple" i thought, wow i wonder if its the same for them as it is for me and mike. i think i learned this year that maybe it doesnt matter who's getting hanjobs, and who's getting fingered. but it depends who you care for, and how you feel around that person. becuase i know that maybe the feelings that i have toward mike, are maybe and probably different than the ones bella has towards nikko. i feel warm, and safe when he holds me. and i don't know what i wuld do without him. i'm sitting here on my bed, and i am looking at my bottom right hand drawer. there is my old phone in there, the one where mike took the picture of the light. "they look like lips." i can't even think about that without tearing up. just becuase i no him now. and its extraoridnary for me, as me, and as a human being thinking how you get to know someone, through thick and thin, and loving them for it. and in this process, you learn to love yourself. this is a valuable lesson i will never forget. i am who i am today not only becuase of me. but becuase of others who infulence me. a year ago today, i met the boy i love now. a year ago today i didnt even know what a "pod" was. a year ago today, i was a different person. i'm me, and i love it. makes life worthwhile. makes the purpose of life,oh so much sweeter. until next time... last song heard: vunerable artist: secondhand serande xx.

literally nothing has happened. besides the fact that i can basically never see my boyfriend evver again. ahh it bothers me becuase it was like he was just gone. becuase he used to come over all the time, and now its like i cant never see him again. and just to make things better soon its going to be wrestling season, the worst time of the year...just becuase i dont get to see him anyway, becuase he's always at practice, or a meet, or a tournament. but i want to make it through it. i want to prove to myself and to mike that he can do his thing, and me be there to support him. i want him to know that i am alwyas here for him...and i wouldnt leave him just becuase he doenst get to see me everyday. our relationship is more than that. even tho i already miss him...i dont get to see him all weekend. but besides that fact....what else is new? umm yeah my mom made me throw this huge fit becuase i dont want to do band in high school...and she basically tears me down everytime. wow, its so tiring for me, becuase i cant let down. and i dont want to do it, but it doesnt seem like i can win, but in the end, its me, not her, that has to play. eveyone is on my side.i know that my dad doesnt care. haha. okay best albu, cartel! omg its so good. i want to sit here and listen, but no even better i have homework, i might write later, nothing had rlly happened. last song heard: say anything [else] artist: cartel xx.

hmmm. what is there to say ? recap. okayy. so everything was a ok, well nothing is ever really a ok. so yeah me and mike...and when i say me and mike, no this time i mean mike metzlerrr. yeah and i never really have talked to him before, but idk. i thought he was a nice guyy. so i started hanging out with him more, until he confesses to me that he "loved me" of course you know me, i fall and i belivee him. what happens? something that could have potentinally ruined me and mike, mke caddy i mean. well in other words, i dont talkto mike meztlerr anymore, becuase honeslty there is nothing that i could use that boy for, i dont need him. i have people in my life that can help me. and he is one of those people that has no effect or just a negitave effect on my life. so what else has happened? of course you know that school does suck. and this is like the first full week since, idk maybe last year? lol im jk, there was a full week. but yeah so mike caddy decides to come over, and then his mom finds him here, wow now i cant see him fr the longest time. do you know that he has to get braces tomorrow? ahh you have to write again and tell how they look. i mean i met mike, and he had my dad's teeth, you know the boyish ones. with the one crookedness in the front. ha, i thought it was the cutest thing everrr. of course i think that mike is the cutest boy ive ever seen in my lifeeeee. well yeah we're good. YAY. i went overr to his house. haha. you know what i imagined his house for like a year and then i go there, and its so different. i pictured all these rooms a different wayy, and idk it was werid, but it was so fun. lol. so yeah i dont know what i am going to do with myself i mean i cant see mike nemore. =[[. HALLOWEEN ANYONE?hmm. thanks to the wonderful ashley i get to be a french maid for halloween, may i add that i hate that holiday more than life? yeah...lol. well there isnt much else to say, i think that i am going to go back to football, catch mike so i can get a kiss before his teeth get glued with metalll =[[. last song heard: here in your arms artist: hellogoodbye. xx.