So today is a little better. i had a huge major crying thing with wendy. figured out.... screw brandon. he wants to be an ass. let him. homecoming will be homecoming. drama is drama. my friends are my friends. it's all ridiculous. later.peace.|/. zache

today is not a good day. i am not in a good mood. everyone and everything is bothering. im sick over everyones shit that they give me. im sorry but when im having a conversation with someone do not expect me to completely stop the conversation to talk to you. sorry if thats rude, but thats how it is. and one of my friends can not seem to get that through her head so we got in a high fight in study hall. ridiculous. theres a lot of stuff going on with my dad too. after i moved back in this year after a whole summer w/o him, kim, and meagan (dont forget meagan's new born) it just doesnt feel right still. i mean i really feel like im the random kid thats there every other week still. i dont know what else to do. today is his birthday. today im telling him that i want to live over at my moms. i hate when people i love let me down. i hate myself sometimes. also brandon yelled at me last night i dont know why really. i dont know what's gotten into him and it's starting to scare me because he's suppose to be my best friend...i just dont understand. everyones getting on my nerves and yet it kinda seems like im getting on everyone elses nerves. i dont know what else to say or anything. not sure if anyone even reads these. later. peace.|/. zache

http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g18/joshl555/METAL.png That's something i did for my digital design class. you had to create an organization or something that has to deal with you and your hobbies or passion. music may not be a hobby, but it certianly is my passion. this weekend i really missed nick. hearing wendy talking about her date, ppl ditching me for their boyfriends made me really realize how much i do miss nick. it's ridiculous. i miss waking up and him kissing me on my forehead. i miss eating mickey mouse pancakes at 4am. i just miss him. i miss having someone. it's just thats there for me and all that good stuff. later. peace.|/. zache.

yeah. i love the title. LOVE IT. everyone is freaking out about homecoming and as long as i have brandon im okay. i dont understand what's going on with him. one second he's getting pissed that i made out with one of me ex boyfriends and then the next he's talking about hooking up with other chicks. i dont understand. he always tells me how im his best friend and how he thinks of me as a sister and that we could never be more than friends. then when i tell him i made out with one of my ex's (kinda random but whatever, he's single: i'm single...meh) and he's flips out and acts like i cheated on him. I dont understand him and all of his crazyness. yet i love him. haha. he just means too much to me for me to let him go. :) cheesy but true. later. peace. |/. zache.

sometimes during the day i get so annoyed with everyone i kind of want to scream my head off and just i dk...punch something. im aggressive; i know. little things that people say bother me; then i dont say anything, and then it builds up and i can tell that soon im going to just snap on someone. and this is never good. work just sucks right now, my managers all suck and seeing justin hurts still. i guess i still cant understand him and understand what all happened between us. one day he was all okay and then the next he says that he lost the spark. yeah we did only go out for a couple of days but still i really trusted him and really let him into my life. i should have standed my grounds like i usually do. never ever ever EVER trust anyone. well. i do trust everyone, it's the devil inside them i dont trust. (if you know what movie that is from i love you) after all of that happened i just cant look at him without wanting to scream at him saying "WHY WON'T YOU FUCKING GIVE THIS ONE GODDAMN CHANCE?!?!?!" i know we'd make it..i know we would. thats all over though so i shouldnt even waste my breath anymore. i went to see brandon on monday and that kind of made me upset. he wont do just one thing. just got to the dance and look nice for ONE night, that's all im asking him. i dont know what else to tell him. i told him im not going to make him do anything he doesnt want to do and he said i had to make him do it because he'll never want to really get into it. but whatever. im making him. haha. i just want him to realize how much fun he could have i want him to be as outgoing as i am and learn that you dont have to always stick in the "group". i dont know. he just never goes outside the box and it kind of annoys me. im out for today. later. peace. |/. zache.

oh i love being a newbie. even though i've been on here for a while..i never had entered a "blog". meh. whatever. so im actually at school right now and im very very bored. today was an ok day i guess. i got a lot of shit because im hanging out with a not so popular girl after school and i think it's bull shit. im very very excited because homecoming is coming up in the next 2 weeks and im going dress shopping this weekend. not that i didnt have fun at all the dances i went to since i started high school, or even in middle school i always had fun, but this time i can tell its going to be different. i did have a date for one of the dances last year but we went with two other friends and it wasnt as much fun as it could have been. but this year i am really excited because i finally have a group to go with. i am friends with everyone and i get along with everyone in my school but the fact is; is that i have never had a whole group involve me in everything like they do. im going with one of my best friends in fact today after school we're going over to his house (he lives about 45 min away) and i have to give him his guest pass to get into the dance. im excited. that about all for right now. later.peace.|/. zache.