Today is Sunday. This Sunday has been a lot better than other Sundays, nothing has gone wrong, no one has yelled at me, and I don't feel sick. No one has called for me, which makes me a little sad, but I think perhaps today is a good day for thinking. I played DDR with my brother earlier, then we played Need for Speed, and he went to bed because he has to get up to watch Venture Brothers tonight. I am waiting for Bre to get online, but it doesn't seem like it's going to happen, so perhaps I should call her. It's awkward when my alarm somehow manages to turn itself off. Not just decided not to go off, but the little switch on the side is turned to OFF, and it makes me sad that it doesn't want me to get up and watch Nip/Tuck, because I missed two and a half episodes after I was all exited and ready to watch them. Instead, I overslept by four hours, and have been pretty much aimlessly wandering around the house since then. Bre thinks that I should let Tyler go. But it's been one year, two months and five days since I first began liking him. Of course, I wouldn't actually admit it to anyone until May 13, which happened to be a Friday, and Friday went horrible and I cried a lot and got hit with things and also had to feel the pain of having all of your friends walk out on you, and that is NOT a good feeling. Hence most of the crying. But anyway. I feel really bad because everytime I try to let him go, he always comes to me in my dreams and I miss him so bad I break down and cry. I have to live with knowing his girlfriend hates me because I caused a lot of problems in their 'relationship', and I have to live with knowing that no matter how much or how bad I NEED him, I will never have him, not even as a friend. Since we'll probably never see each other again anyway. He's still going to school, and I withdrew to get homeschooled since I couldn't take not having any friends. It's hard. Not having anyone to talk to, and being picked on by other people because you're too emo or you're too quiet or you're too fat or WHATEVER the problem is, they have never left me alone because I am always doing SOMETHING wrong. I try to be loud, I'm TOO loud. I be myself, I'm too whiney or quiet. I try to be nice and they think I'm hitting on them. I try to be cool, and they think I'm a bitch and I'm not worth being friends with. But that's okay. Everything will be fine someday, right?