12 weeks later and still no recognition...fuck this.. I need to talk to someone soon or I'm going to explode. Anyway, that's the truth of it, and the sad thing is that I couldn't admit that without being the least bit intoxicated. It's really doing my head in, this passive-aggressive behaviour isn't doing any good, I know this but everything just keeps going in circles. It's fuckin' ridiculous, I dont' know where to begin anymore. I've been saying this all along, I'm losing myself in this new reality that I've created, but the only problem is that it's all a lie...I don't know what to believe... I can't maintain a constant feeling, I'm experiencing different highs and lows everyday. I don't know how I'm going to feel in the morning - I fall asleep feeling one thing, and the next moment, I'm laying in my bed staring at the ceiling having no recollection of the day before. Most of the day is a routine.. I'm really starting to miss the company, but over the past months I just feel like everyone I know has made significant progress in their lives. And because I've been absent for most of it, I have no place to be there. Sitting back, I can see the minimal impact my absence would have. There would be no real difference if I disappeared - there would be a brief period of grief, however the experience will only make them stronger and more determined.