So it's over. The whole thing is over. I lost him. That is, if I ever had him in the first place, which I'm not so sure I did. In a relationship, my ass. Who is she, the lucky bitch? Why am I always so stupid about things like this? I don't think I've ever been so angry and hurt in my entire life. Right now, I'm not even certain that I even want to see him ever again. God, I just want to die. Currently Listening To: Jack's Mannequin, Into the Airwaves. "Something's not so right inside, living with the news...I am slipping into the airwaves. And this is nothing new, you are slipping through my fingers and into the airwaves. So hang on, it's gonna be a hard day. So hang on, don't panic, don't panic, there simply is no need." P.S.: Except there kind of is...

So the banquet was most definitely everything I hoped for. Well, almost everything. The one thing that I wanted most to happen didn't, but I didn't expect it to anyway, so that's ok. I've never felt like this before about a guy. He just has something about him that I find irresistable. Does he feel the same though? Sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. Tonight was a yes night, though. Currently Listening To: Aqualung, Can't Get You Out of My Mind. "And I'm petrified, hypnotized, every time you walk by. And I can't get you out of my mind..."