It just keeps growing. Lindsay Lohan - It's Alright Amanda Falk - Small Alexz Johnson - Don't You Dare Leona Lewis - Yesterday Alexz Johnson - How Strong Do You Think I Am Alanis Morissette - Not As We Theory of a Deadmn - Not Meant to Be Superchi[k] - Beauty From Pain Avril Lavigne - Together Yellowcard - Empty Apartment Jo Dee Messina - Bring On The Rain Jarred Nicklen - You'll Be Missed April Matson - Will You Remember Me Nelly Furtado - In God's Hands

Music gets you through the toughest times. Not solely music, of course. Friendship, faith and the strength that comes from both are the ultimate source of surviving through whatever happens. But music helps your center thoughts, helps you find and express how you're feeling and reminds you that when it's late at night and all your friends have gone to bed and your faith is not at it's strongest, you're still not alone. You're still not the only one to have felt what you're feeling. And there's power in knowing that. I have had a difficult week. On Saturday, September 27, 2008, my friend Emily Joy Stauffer was murdered. I've never been hit by tragedy before and I grieved like I didn't think possible. On Wednesday, October 1, 2008, my boyfriend of a year and four days, the person I relied on above anyone else and needed so much in that time of pain, broke up with me. In the last week I've hit rock bottom. I've screamed and cried until I vomited. I've questioned everything I've ever believed in, wondered why God would take Emily and then the person I thought I could rely on to pul me through. I've wondered why I'm left here if it's just going to be for this loneliness and emptiness. And I've realized that I'm not the only person to have lost a friend so violently and senselessly, and I'm certainly not the only person to have lost a first relationship. My music has helped me see that. It's varied and diverse, some focuses on the end of the relationship, others on the death, and most on the hope of getting though it, and being better in the future. Its words are pulling me through. Playlist: All I Never Wanted - Diana DeGarmo So Down - Maren Ord Lost - Anouk Better in Time - Leona Lewis Tattoo - Jordin Sparks Dancing in My Dreams - Tina Turner For Good - Wicked Symphonic - Emm Gryner Make Me Believe - Tupelo Honey Sober - Kelly Clarkson Fallen - Sarah McLachlan Irvine - Kelly Clarkson Cry - Amanda Stott They Weren't There - Missy Higgins Don't Leave - Christine Evans Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow and Sting I Love You - Sarah McLachlan Wrong Again - Martina McBride I Shall Believe - Sheryl Crow Lift You Up - Amanda Stott That's what I'm feeling right now, and so much more. But it ends with hope, it ends with belief and being lifted up. I feel that hope, because it's so hard right now and I'm not going to pretend it's easy. I'm breaking apart inside, every time I turn around I see another reason to cry and crumble. But I have faith, and I have hope.