i still cant get my mind off of tyler. i know that hes in tha past but i jus cant seem to let him go. i misss him so much but im not going to push myself to talk to him anymore or anything like that so here i am again waiting.

i cant believe im still not over him, it's been about 3 months since we broke up the second time and its still hard. the first time was hard too, i still wasnt completely over him after 8 months. i ended up taking him back hoping that this time would be different but it shure didnt change in the end, hes still tha same person. maybe he was pretending to be someone else...the person i want him to be, and maybe that was the real him, i honestly dont know. we talked about EVERYTHING together and i felt like i was actually starting to get to know him the way that i wanted us to. it felt so goood having somebody i wanted back again...and now thats hes gone again.. i hope he doesnt come back because if this shit happeneds again, im outta here. i just cant do it again for the third fuckin time. i deserve better and i know i can do better then him... i just choose not to because deep down i know that i love him with everthing that i am. i just cant wait around for something that i know may never come back. i still cry at night.. i miss him soooooo much, i cant even explain how much he means to me...even tho he's hurt me in the past more then once, i just cant let it go but imma have to- i know i gotta give nathan a chance and if that doenst work out, then i gotta keep moving on leaving tylers name in the past.

[-] means done -join curves. jan5 -smoke ciggs. jan5 -give a blow job. jan24 -give a hand job. jan24 -get eatin' out. jan24 -fingered. jan24 - sex: Feb24th.07