Went to see Mogwai and Pinback. Mogwai May 6th, quit fantastic, though the last song, was ear drum bustingly loud. Played Friend of the Night first, then other tracks like Hunted By A Freak, and a couple of others. None were Cody or R U Still In 2 It, sadly. Pinback this past Friday. Nice, nice. They played Grey Machine, and Penelope, much to Henry's delight. Was at the Emo's outdoor stage. ~~~ Bloc Party & Sonic Youth coming up. I definitely wanna see both..but fuck, both are going to be pricey shows. But Sonic Youth, most definitely. Bloc Party, I bet will be PACKED.

All I know is that whenever I think I'm in love, it may seem like the *most* important thing I've ever felt, to have ever materialized, to have ever existed, but I know for sure that it's not. Feelings cloak over me, and I'm dumbfounded, that's just how I feel. I've never been a *proper* relationship in my life ever, and I don't know what love is, but I do have a pretty good idea of what it isn't. Life would be so much easier, sometimes, I think.. Anywho, the only person whom I thought would support me through my trials and tribulations have forsaken me, and it's such an odd feeling. Sometimes I feel rather numb to the rejection, but sometimes I just reject it again, and it sort of nullifies whatever void and pain that came from it. I don't know. I never know. I just think isolation wouldn't do me any good nor would it do me any more harm. Life is cruel. Do I accept what is given? Or do I fight back and make things right? How do I befriend someone..again? I miss my best friend.