wow its been such a long time since I have written. So Me n Kameron are going out now. Its the happiest time of my life.

Im just writing cause im very bored... Im thinking about giving some money to War Child. Its a really good cause! You should most definately look it up.

Yay!!! I saw Kam at the pool!.. it was very odd though... Ok lets explain.. Mom and I drive up to the pool and park and I say "Hey mom there's Kameron". And I get out of the car and walk up to him. He said "Hey whats up?!!" I say "Nothin really" He turns around and grabs a bar thats hanging above his head and says "Can you do a one handed pull up?" "No" I said. Then I walk on in the pool place (I was acting weird) and take off my clothes, he was watching me take them off (that freaked me out). And then I jumped in the pool and he kept watching me. So I waved and he turned around and ran to a car and started talking to someone in the car and pointing at me. And later he came back up to the fence and looked at me and started talking to this girl and looking at me. It all sort of freaked me out. You know what another freaky thing is? Everyone said he was flirting with me but I didn't notice. Thats how he always acts with me. So I'm not sure if hes being himself or flirting. Thats confusing. I just think he's being himself. But well... This is very hard to tell people but... I sort of want him to like me even though I know he doesnt. I'm very vulnerable since I cant see Shian and all. I think I'm starting to like Kam again! Damn this is the.... *counting*... 5th time I've liked him! He's just so... Kameron! HAHA Thats so Kameron, Thats so Kameron! lol...

I miss those two (and by those two I mean Shian and Kam) so badly! Im going to go insane w/o them. I know I cant make it through this summer w/o them. I'm going to go insane w/o Kam because he's my Kam! Ok I'll explain that a little better... I tell him things I cant tell Tosh. I mean, he was the first to know I like Shian. And he can tell what I'm thinking just by looking at me. Want an example? I looked at him and he said "I know you like me.. I can just tell.". I mean wtf?! Theres few people that can do that! And Shian... I'll surely crazy w/o him because I love him to death! I love everything he does and the way he does it. I think hes the cutest thing in the world too! I just love shian! And its the same with him. He can tell what I'm thinking too! He says "I need to buy some gas for my dirt bike!" and he looks at me and says "I know what your thinking and no thats not what I said.". Thats just crazy! They are the only two people I feel really get me sometimes. And when I dont feel comterable going to them and talking about something then I go to Tosh.

Mom says that shes getting the internet cut off tomorow so if I dont get on for a while then well she did it. So this is my goodbye to all of you (or atleast my internet goodbye) in case she does cut it off.

Im bored... I am one of those lucky people who got to start summer early. Its ok, but it mainly sucks.

I feel like no one likes me and every time I fall in love they dont love me back. And I'll never get someone who does atleast like me back. And I feel like all you peoplez dont care about me and if I died then no one would care and everyone would just go on living their lives. I know I'm mean to some of you guys but lets see whos mean to me?: Allyson, Chelsie, Jenny, Brooke, and Heather (sometimes). And whos nice?: Tosh, Caitlyn, Ember, and sometimes Krystal. Well atleast thats the people in that group.... I think you guys should get some payback every once and a while... And I feel like I'll never ever date anyone again cause I'm an ugly piece of shit with an attitude problem. And every time someone asks me out I always blurt out no.... I know no one likes me cause of that... And because no one really cares about me and no one would shed a tear if I died...

She came in and yeah!! She IS here!! She went to talk about stuff.

Tosh isn't in computer class.. I cant see her so shes probably not in here. I wonder if she went home to get things off her mind? I dunno I didnt see her come in here and I saw her sitting on the bench in the hall before I came in computer. Then I went to get water and, when I came back she was gone. I hope she didn't leave that would suck! If she did then I'm stuck w/ Allyson, Ember, and Ike in the rest of my classes. Plus, I'd be stuck w/ Mr. Maniac (Kameron. Its his nickname) in the halls and on the bus (as usual. If he even rides) for the rest of the day. But Kam is usually my only 7th grade friend on the bus anyways.

Love confused is what I am. If you dont know what it really is I'll explain my situation. I love Shian right? But this dude I've loved before just got really friendly this week. Plus, Shian is gone and I'm really vulnerable. And, this dude is his BROTHER! Its Kameron... Kameron is my BFF but he just has made me fall in love 3 times before and this time he started it by flirting with me and suducing me. I have no idea who I love more this time..... If Shian asks me out when I tell him I like him then I will just go with him... But if he says no then I'll try to win over Kam for a while.