the other day I was celebrating black history with a good friend of mine we smoked a magic plant that is legal. Of course we drank a lot of beer. My buddy has a stripper pole in his house. I asked "hey pal what does a guy have to do for a beer around here?" He said "swing around that pole and I'll give you a beer." So i ran and jumped and grabbed that pole. When I did the pole came out of the ceiling and I elbow dropped his Mystical water ionizer and shattered it into a million pieces. He was sad. i laughed and said "man fuck its black history month." We laughed and then gave each other hand jobs while starring each other in the eyes.

Today I ran over a dog as I drove home. I giggled when I heard it yipe. So I threw my car in reverse and got out of my car. I poured some of my colt .45 on its smashed head. I put the dog in my car and drove around with it in my lap for an hour or so. I hate you dog thats why I hit you with my car. Then I put the dogs head in my neighbors mailbox and went and had a bowl of fruity pebbles with 2% milk from a half gallon mayfield jug.