I still can't shake the feeling that there's someone staring back in the mirror that's not only me. and then i think maybe im a hypochondriac for mental disorders. I think it sounds almost glamorous to be diagnosed as paranoid. I was doing research for schizophrenia for Psych. class. and stumbled upon Clara Bow. the actress diagnosed with schiz. she looked so pretty with the classy hollywood glow. I'd like to be like that. almost. ---- im falling for D. Its terrible. C is going out with D. and C is my best friend The stupid part is that me and C agreed that even though we both like D we wouldn't do anything about it. but of course, C does, and doesn't tell me about it. supposedly C thought it was mentioned to me from themselves. Then C "swore" that it was mentioned that they were going to prom together. they're frustrating. but its not like YOU care, hell, i don't even know if anyone reads this thing. I halfway wish people could leave comments, so i could tell if people read about the petty things in my liife. but it saves me the heartbreak of being ignored. thats probably my biggest fear right there. being ignored / unnoticed then just vanish out of thin air. If one person remembered something i said or did at the grocery store or bus stop or ticket line, i would feel immensely better. then i wonder how invisible i am. (ha, i just happening to be listening to "image of the invisble" by thrice) I constantly get bumped and trampled on in the hallways. Yeah, im kinda small, but not puny. but people run head onto me. maybe its a joke that everyone's in on. "hey lets knock around that kid and see how long it takes to figure out that we're all in on it" theres that paranoia again. goodbye kind stranger.

less people will read it, even though it defys what it means to have a blog. it seems as if its almost competitive. everyone screaming "read my blog!", then you feel sad when you sign on and realize that no one left comments. i used to leave comments in poetic form on peoples blogs for fun. I stopped doing that now. I felt strange. The dresden doll album is supposed to come out soon. horray. ---