it snowed today, it started to melt very very slightly on the top, then froze again. it crunches on the top, then is so soft and powdery on the bottom. i love the feeling. It feels lke it could support you, just barely, but you fall through and hit the ground. === i haven't been feeling very well. i think i have some screwed up intestines or something. I should see a doctor maybe. i should maybe see a doctor for a lot of things. === My dad got his way awesome house, right between the fabulous mall and the fairgrounds where all the concerts are. the house was made in 1890, the attic looks like something from the ring, and the basement looks like the one from amptivlle horror (the new one). and theres a broom closet with 2 locks on it for some reason.

I still can't shake the feeling that there's someone staring back in the mirror that's not only me. and then i think maybe im a hypochondriac for mental disorders. I think it sounds almost glamorous to be diagnosed as paranoid. I was doing research for schizophrenia for Psych. class. and stumbled upon Clara Bow. the actress diagnosed with schiz. she looked so pretty with the classy hollywood glow. I'd like to be like that. almost. ---- im falling for D. Its terrible. C is going out with D. and C is my best friend The stupid part is that me and C agreed that even though we both like D we wouldn't do anything about it. but of course, C does, and doesn't tell me about it. supposedly C thought it was mentioned to me from themselves. Then C "swore" that it was mentioned that they were going to prom together. they're frustrating. but its not like YOU care, hell, i don't even know if anyone reads this thing. I halfway wish people could leave comments, so i could tell if people read about the petty things in my liife. but it saves me the heartbreak of being ignored. thats probably my biggest fear right there. being ignored / unnoticed then just vanish out of thin air. If one person remembered something i said or did at the grocery store or bus stop or ticket line, i would feel immensely better. then i wonder how invisible i am. (ha, i just happening to be listening to "image of the invisble" by thrice) I constantly get bumped and trampled on in the hallways. Yeah, im kinda small, but not puny. but people run head onto me. maybe its a joke that everyone's in on. "hey lets knock around that kid and see how long it takes to figure out that we're all in on it" theres that paranoia again. goodbye kind stranger.

less people will read it, even though it defys what it means to have a blog. it seems as if its almost competitive. everyone screaming "read my blog!", then you feel sad when you sign on and realize that no one left comments. i used to leave comments in poetic form on peoples blogs for fun. I stopped doing that now. I felt strange. The dresden doll album is supposed to come out soon. horray. ---

the library i am in has virtually no books of fiction. no, anthony burgess no hunter s. thompson no laurie halse anderson no francesca lia block no chuck palahniuk gaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!! its fucking terrible. damn library has no taste. BUT. it at least isn't filled with religious books. (Thank God, for separation of church and state.) I've been having the deepest craving recently to re-read "A clockwork orange" ever since i saw that video "i write sins, not tragedies" by Panic! at the disco... I think it was the hats in that. I've been posting random graffitti on these signs everywhere that say things like "make someones day! Smile away!" or "Make a friend". My hell, why do you have to post things like that. it makes me want to puke, especially since they've all been printed on pink paper. --- theres a lot of loud noise outside, i suppose the assembly is over. ("Rockin' new year" assembly, despite its almost feb... retards) back to psychology class, with a psychotic teacher. go to my blog if you want to read my big bashing on my mom's boyfriend Mike, the basement dude that i so dearly hate with raving vengence. or go to grouphug.us the most addicting site i have ever been on. I hope you have a lovely day, my stranger.

i like adrodgny. especially online. its so great.