28.02.07 "If it was up to me I'd never have to miss you It's for the better in the bitter end I guess you'd know the best" -Bloodied up by Alkaline trio I don't know what's the matter with me. I mean, my day's been pretty reasonable. Got another extension on my English coursework... It's just, I still can't stop thinking about what happened. It was all so weird..completely out of the blue....He just rang me and said we live too far apart and all that bullshit and well that was it. I can't believe I just said "ok". That's it. Done. I feel like such a twat. I should have said something, demanded a reason..whatever. It's just so weird..I thought we were getting on really well last time I saw him.. =( Oh well...might as well get smashed again on the weekend. Blah what the fuck is up with everything at the moment? And my ex from last year is "in love" with my best friend which doesn't help my mental state. I mean..I'm over him and everything, well sort of but I dunno anymore. He said he'd wait for her. What the hell is he playing at..he knows perfectly well that she has a boyfriend though..they are really good mates and all this shit going on behind his back is just fucking unfair. Wish someone would wait for me sometimes... I'm just trying to do my bloody Media studies essay hopelessly. I just can't be bothered to do anything anymore I really can't. Why the hell do we have to write a fucking essay about Spiderman anyway? Better get back to it =( Kat xXx

05.02.07 “I guess I should be one to talk There's nights that I can't even walk There's days I couldn't give a fuck And in between is where I'm stuck” (Alkaline Trio) Well it’s Monday… actually Tuesday now technically but yeah. It’s funny, these days I seem to spend the whole week thinking about the weekend, probably because school is shit. Blah, now considering getting wasted on Friday as well as Saturday, my poor liver is probably screaming at me… Oh well I’ll worry about that when I keel over hehe. I’ve had a bloody headache all day, probably some kind of after effect from the weekend. Still haven’t given my English coursework in =/ I have a History trip tomorrow to some weird thing, so at least I get to miss maths and stuff. If I get another bloody detention this week for being late I will be severely pissed off. I felt like screaming at that woman last Friday. She talks in such a condescending tone you’d think she was talking to a bunch of 4 year olds… At least I spoke to him for a bit earlier =) I told myself I’d do some song writing/practise guitar this week…except I seem to have hit a creative block - which is really just a posh way for saying I can’t think. It’s like my fingers (and or my brain) has forgotten how to play guitar or something. Time for sleep I reckon before I nod off at this sodding keyboard. Kat xXx

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable now" (The Smiths) I've got that Sunday feeling again. The weekend is over and now I’m stewing in a hungover state - now I've got to thinking of the piles of work I was supposed to do, the money I shouldn't really have spent and of course him. Valentines day soon...What a lovely time of year if you're all loved up with someone and poncing about with cheesy romantic gestures and the commercialised crap they sell in the shops; cutesy little teddy bears, boxes of chocolates that suddenly cost double the price, oh and don't forget good old red roses - only £30 a bunch. It's not that I'm overly cynical..ok well maybe just a bit...but when you're single and the one person you want to be with is probably cuddled up with some girl far prettier than you without two brain cells to rub together it's just another day. Maybe I'll do the feeling sorry for myself bit - sit on the sofa with a tub of triple chocolate ice cream and watch some romantic comedy film where you know right from the start that they will get together at the end of the film. Or maybe not. Such a shame it never works out like in films. School tomorrow...whoop de fucking woo. As if school wasn't bad enough already I'm probably going to get another detention for being late, I forgot to do my Media, I haven't done my English coursework, oh and the small matter of me falling out with just about everyone. I wonder if I'll see him on Thursday. He wasn't there last week. In a way I was kind of relieved because I didn't have to worry about what to say to him...It's been so awkward since the other day. Oh and another thing, I rang him last night when I was drunk like an idiot and he text me to say "stop ringing me when you're so drunk". Being pissed, I text him back to tell him to f**k off. Smart move! Why do I bother? Anyway, I told myself I would go to bed about an hour or so ago and I have to do my bloody English coursework or she'll kill me. I'll write again soon, Kat xXx