Vindication, Infatuation, Murder Never There; Never Gone You know, it really makes me think when I look back on half of these journals. Just how angry people can make me on here. It's ridiculous. I can remember everyone ranting and raving about how 'pop' the new My Chem cd is going to be. The sound of it might seem that way. But a lot of the lyrics and basic meaning behind it all is really very dark. Current Music -->>We Are Always Searching; I Am Ghost They're new singles are HELLA amazing though. Especially 'My Way Home Is Through Your Eyes'. There's something incredibly amazing about it that really draws my attention. Anywho;; First semester is over. And I have shop again. It sucks, badly. Lauren is in the class again though. I only wish the stupid bitch who volunteers wasn't there. She always tries to ruin our fun. Like, when we file paper to make snow, or throw food at the kid next to us. You know, things that keep us amused. XD I despise the 'tech' part of it as well. Can't wait till we start wood shop. Other than that, nothing really super interesting. Lipstick Tourniquets Something soulless sold you it hates you They wear the sheepskins, but you are the monster Breathing men would kill Lucy don't go hold me haunt me tinctures taunt you, cause you are the monster breathing men would kill blame me for this as you sit in your counting room coughing up blood just to spit in my mouth soon you'll be gone and the rain will was you away tucked in and gagged now say your prays Lipstick tourniquets work when the poison begins to take hold. And for what reward? So the simple can suck on the rinds. Till The End;; Helena

Truth. Love. Honesty. Rage. I Hope You Choke On Your Regret Thanksgiving was today. I ate pretty good; one of the best meals I've had in a while. Turkey, corn, baked potatoe, cresent rolls, and a HUGE glass of milk. Went over to the other side of the family for desert, where Nonna made my freaking favorite! CHOCOLATE ECLAIR CAKE. I smuggled some home too. =D Well, an even more pleasant thing to add on to the day was that I didn't hear a peep out of anyone about my clothes. Which really surprised me. (And made me a better person to be around) -->>Current Music: Heaven Help Us by MCR I looked out the window 93747 times to see if he would be there. Which I knew wasn't gonna happen. Sometimes I wish it would. Turn around and he'd be knocking on my door. Telling me H E F E E L S T H E S A M E Its weird. Because he sits at my shop table everyday for no apparent reason. Theres 29374 other open shop tables there, and he chooses to sit at mine. o_0 It makes my stomach do summersaults In other news All my friends are done for XMAS. We all know what were getting each other and shit. On my dad's side of the family today, I had to sit and make a freaking list. xDD They all know what I want, but don't want to get it for me. If they all pitched in & bought me like, a $100 gift card to Hot Topic, I'd be set to go. But NOOO... Gotta freaking think of 9273497 other things... so yeah. We'll see how well that goes. Because these are my last words and this is my last breath I'd give you everything if there was something left I have nothing left to prove and i will live with my regrets I'd give you everything if there was something left! The disconnecting count of days are fading away, the lives that we made Tear drops will spill, from your blue eyes intentions were wrong, I apologize The empire is falling like they planned on and we lost it all The city sleeps in flames Till The End;; Helena.

Notorious Motive We Are All Just A Black Parade Today went fucking awesomely. Half day at school; I skipped it. Got some greatly needed sleep. Made pies w/ Gramma. (hah, that sounds so corny) Learned some new shit in Piano. Arielle and I finally got our presents today. Hoorah for studded belt. =D Got her this sweet MCR shirt. (a MUCH needed one; its her fav. band as well, and she doesn't even have one of their shirts!) Bought mehself a Jack Skellington Hooded Shirt. Well, that sounds like a pretty good day to me. I have about a week to learn 937493274 Xmas songs. Which fucking sucks. Family Xmas party coming up on the 2nd of Dec. Yippee. A night where I don't get to act like myself. I honestly don't understand; All your life, your family tells you: BE YOURSELF. I've found who I am, and nobody seems to like it. I am teased about A.) Clothes B.) Music C.) Makeup Its fucking disgusting. My Uncle asked me if I was in a fucking 'CULT' because I had a few safety pins stuck on the sides of my pants. Un-fucking-believable. Its driving me crazy. -->> Current Music: Thinktank by Skin of My Teeth Tomorrow I am commanded to wear 'decent' clothes. Pff, yaa.. I'm thinking NO. Jeans, black shirt, studded belt. People need to fucking grow up and get over it. In other news. The best Christmas present would be him. Stupid emotions )= Its fucking ripping up my head. Ever since the 6th grade, when all of this ended; I've hated the kids guts. He comes back and I'm fucking F A L L I N G I N L O V E A G A I N And what hurts the most is that I can't TELL A FUCKING SOUL. Arielle just got a new account on here. If she's on tonight and sees this journal. Man, she will FLIP. But I Can't Help How I F E E L. Reinventing Your Exit Twelfth and Hide on a Sunday Feeling like we're gold And we're nothing short of invincible It starts again, can you feel it It takes your breath away Stop saying that we're invincible It's round and round You're uninviting, unrewarding And I'm misinforming you We all want to be somebody Right now we're just looking for the exit This is the way I would have done things Up against the wall You got me up against your wall Till The End;; Helena.

Twisted Fate RAGE ONLY RUPTURES THE SURFACE Well. These past couple of weeks have been going pretty good for me. GOING TO SEE MCR ON THE 14TH OF DECEMBER!!! I'm so fucking excited. My website is going pretty good. (www.freewebs.com/skewedxvisions). Me and Katie just started a new crossover fic the other day. I'm getting this WAAAY wicked thermal from her for Xmas. And I'm getting her a sweet hoodie from The Immortality Project. Me and Arielle are "supposedly" going to the mall sometime this week to get our b-day presents for each other. Even though were about a month late, but whatever. -->> Current Music: Machines by Kiss Kiss On the gloomier side of things; Grades came in the other day. Didn't tell anyone about conferences. Failing math. Hah, Not my fault Mr. Belles is fucking SATAN. 1. He has no fucking clue how to teach 2. I think he has mental problems. Arielle said he threw down a stack of papers and "stormed" out of the room. HAHAHHA Enough about school. One MAJOR issue going on in my life right now. I think I still Love him. =/// And I have no clue how to address this situation so I'mma just leave it be. Ciao. I'll be dreaming about you, In a pool of your own blood. With your eyes gouged out, By the work of my thumbs. The scent of your insides, From under the floor boards. Is the perfect perfume for settling the score. Ride The Wings Of Pestilence Till The End;; HELENA

Ruptured Romance LOVE IS A FAKE Well, I can honestly say that today went awesome. I was at Hot Topic today;; listening to THE BLACK PARADE Me and Lauren spent an hour of standing listening to it.. and it sounded HELLA AMAZING. I won free nail polish too, Hah. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. Seriously. But yeah, totally anticipating the new album. In other news; Going to Cedar Point tomorrow. Kim && Arielle are coming. Arielle was supposed to come to the listening with me but shes a fag and blew me off yet again. So yeah, leaving tomorrow && getting a hotel and shit. So fucking excited. Current Music --> The Sharpest Lives; My Chem. 10/24 - Record Drop 10/26 - Hello, my birthday. 11/9 - I Am Ghost Concert. I blew 50 dollars today at the mall whilst I was there. TBP && TBS shirts plus handwarmers. (hey, they had a 15% off sale) Me and Kim are hanging now so were gonna go watch Edward Scissorhands. Cause Were WICKED COOL. Heroine Slow I turned to you, you turned away. From everything that I'd never say. Wrote it down, but tore it up. Recycled dreams could never live up To the name that haunts my every waking day. And time slips by when high. Expectations leaving me behind. And I know that this day is worth it. In every single breath I take in. Till The End;; HELENA

Vacant Infatuation. I'm Honestly Lying Well, today has been a whole 'sit on my ass and stare at the computer screen' kind of day. I'm tired. Guess thats what I get for not going to bed until 7 this morning. Stupid people think its cool to wake me up at 10. BLAH. Current Music -->> Sick Little Suicide; The Matches Discovered a few new bands I like today. That was probably the most progressing thing thats happened. After ranting last night, I realized this journal should be typed in everyday; or at least when I have time. It'll give me something to do. Express my 'feelings and thoughts' about the lame-wads on here... Anywho... I'm really super hungry. And theres nothing here to eat. Like you care much.. Well, tomorrow is monday. That completely sucks. I hate my school. Nothing but a bunch of teenies and really really really gay people. It makes me sick how everyone there is like, well, i dont know how to describe it. It has a beginning, It has an end, Its a beautiful story, But its pretend. It keeps us laughing It makes us cry Its the life, its Joe Robot. Has tin cans, has Joe Robot. Where is it going, Where has it been, It is Trojan Horse, Or is it friend? Its the life, its Joe Robot. Has tin cans, has Joe Robot. Joe Robot Till the end. Helena.

Fucking 3 Entries in one day. Hello, I have no life. This post was necessary though. I am becoming EXTREMELY angry at tons of people. This whole My Chemical Romance deal is getting me so fucking pissed. 'The new stuff sucks'. 'They sound like -insert name here-' >.< Its making me so mad its not even funny. Hello, true fans don't go and turn they're back everytime a song sounds more like another genera of music. True fans stick by the band TILL THE FUCKING END. And that's what I intend on doing. All this is pure insanity. So what, My Chem already has another 'Helena' out. 'Welcome To The Black Parade' is probably getting tons of 'poser fans' right now. I DONT GIVE A SHIT. Its like i said with "Helena"; Just because the song is REALLLYSUPERFAMOUS doesn't mean I'm not gonna like the song. Thats just pure bullshit. I've heard people say that a song sucks because its the same title as one by another artist they dislike. Who gives a shit? Disliking a song because it sounds different from their 'older stuff' is one lame-ass excuse. I'm more partial to My Chemical Romance's older stuff as well. But I'm not beating myself up over the fact that they sound different on their approaching album. I'm entering this thing with an open mind. AND AN OPEN HEART.

It's All About The Song In My Head; The One Where The Audience Is All Dead Today. Extreme Boringness. Computer, pizza, starbursts. And Now;; Babysitting WOO. Watched "The Craft". Watching Life on the Murder Scene in exactly 3 minutes. Listening To 'Composing' by Boys Night Out. Having major issues with my contacts. My teacher offered me a Jell-O shot on friday. Just kidding about that last part. (= Blaahhh. This post is pointless. I found someone on the pages today. A very annoying kid, in fact. I hate people that instigate things on the pages of my favorite band. Its like, 'can't you fucking post on the artists you like instead of shooting down one of my personal favorites?' I swear, people don't think before they act. And then they pull that 'Well, its a free country, I can post where I want' Thats what pisses me off most. HULLO! YOUR SPAMMING UP THE PAGES THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE BEING USED FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS SITE. People are stupid. People are fags. I hate people. I need asprin. I listened to 'Cancer' today. I cried. It makes me thing about myself if I were put in a position like that. And thats what gets me. If you had Cancer, and were dying. Would you lose hope? Would you take all the courage you could muster and pull through it? And the lyric that always gets me going is 'Know that I will never marry' I think that would be so sad. To die from cancer and never love someone and yeah... I'm done analyzing this. Near tears here. Well, this took longer than it needed to be. I'm over due for my DVD. till the end. Helena.

Another big explosion coming up, eh? Honestly cannot wait till the 24th. Wearing all black (you shouldn't be surprised to hear that), and so are my friends. After hell is over (for all you morons, thats SCHOOL.) i'm walking up to target to get it. WOO HOO. Anticipating to see what all the other truly amazing songs are on there. till then. Helena.

Wow. I just read that last post. And realized I've come a long way from that. I've written like, 5 or 6 more fics. And yeah. Thats just. wow.. =D