Struggling For A Way Not to fail but succeed I HOPE NEXT WEEKEND IS BETTER. and seriously. that's all I have to say for this entry. next week. next week next week. better be 2394739487 fucking times better. or im slitting my throat. -________- Till the fucking end;; HELENA eat your fucking heart out.

CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!? This is something I have to do for myself Dear God, please save me. I feel so insignificant. Like I'm the last lowly animal on the food chain. The one that no one wants. And isn't good enough for anybody. No one takes me seriously. Everyone beats me down. And when I try to climb back up, they place their foot in my face. And nail me back down to the ground. They let me choke on the dirt. They basically shove it down my throat. I WANT MY OWN BELIEFS. I WANT TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE. And I don't want people holding me back. But that's exactly what's happening. And I'm too much of a coward to stand up and fight. The authority has terrified me. It shakes me, and makes me shrink back down into my little shell. There are so many things I want to discuss. I'm afraid of what they'll think. "Is she crazy?" "Is she losing her mind?" EVERYTHING'S FINE! Please, I ask no more of you than acceptance. Find a way to learn about me. If you must, try to put yourself in my place. Don't just reject me or my thoughts. Ask yourself why! And maybe talk with me. DON'T JUST SHOVE ME AWAY LIKE AN OUTCAST. I want your support and approval and encouragement. But right now. All your giving me. Is your grief. Your dejection. and your hope that i'll be something i don't wanna be. Till the fucking end;; HELENA eat your fucking heart out.

LOVE WILL KILL ALL Singing the notes of romance; LOUD AND OUT OF KEY LIFE OFFICIALLY SUCKS I swear. If I had a goddamn nickel for everytime I've either typed that in here, or thought about it, I'd be richer than fucking Bill Gates. WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON FUCKING UP MY LIFE!??! Honestly. What is so great about pissing Helena off during the day. And making her even more pissed later on? It feels like someone is out to fucking get me. And I really don't care how overdramatic that sounds. I'm fucking telling you. THAT'S HOW I GODDAMN FEEL. Current Music -->> Crank Dat Cavalry Boy;; I Set My Friends On Fire [: Anywho. I like how some days I don't like to explain why I put things in here. And I pretty much do that because those people who read it, and appreicate it, KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUT. Blahhh. Whatever. Getting off the universal topic;; I WANNA LIP RING And I deff. don't think anyones gonna go for that. Really, I wouldn't be so hesitant about it if it weren't for my OVERLY DRAMATIC FATHER. He'd have a fucking heartattack. And then come back to kill me. So whatever. Life sucks. Blah Blah Blah. routine. TILL THE FUCKING END;; HELENA eat your fucking heart out.

A Bitter Taste;; I'll Fight This Again Tomorrow Ugghh. I've officially come to the conclusion that life sucks. Hooray. I finally found out. Meh. Oh, and I've also learned that people can be pedophiles in disguise. [: ahahaha. I really honestly have to explain that one. So, my mother is dating some cop-guy now. And he came over saturday night or something like that. Just to 'stop by and say hi' or something. Of course, he had to start some kind of conversation with me. Current Music -->> Escape; Rupert Holmes Especially since I was on the computer DOING SOMETHING. As usual. >.< Anywho. We were talking about random things. And like, out of nowhere the guy just goes "I HAVE A TAZER. AND I WILL TAZER YOU." O.o yeah. I was like... Uhm.. okay.. BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A CREEP OR ANYTHING, REALLY. Fucking pedophile. I swear... i need a fucking vacation. till the end, mates. HELENA.