i m so sick..u noe smtimes u jus feel so sick 4 tat moment like tat time...anyway 2day i went 2 the libaray n study..but i don y it was so bloody noise so i went 2 mac 2 study..though it was still nosi but much betta..then i meet up with my all school class mate..kinda cool we study 2gether while actually she didnt haha only i was..then we tok abt old sch crushes kinda cool wonder how is the guy i like 4 6 yrs nw..anyway that dont matter...while that dack home sux cas is like me n my sis tryin on clothes n those cuttin don suit me..so i started sayin this n tat then sudddenly my sis get so fucked up n started commentin if u don like then don wear or it cas u think its no nice and those shit..but there really somethin wrong when i wear..i don noe y she dont understand tat and it really annoys me when she does tat ..i mean it is lucky 4 her 2 b able 2 wear it perfectly but not me..life is unfair..sometimes u try n u try n u try but u jus don get it write..like my eyes infections is still no ok my face has real gross pipples and nw ifeel i look really disgustin..but i had try 2 fix this problems but it still don work out..i really don noe y n ppl out there r commentin out there then i did not do my job..yeah i did but it did not work out..so stop commentin man..it really sux in my position nw..i feel no matter wat i do will nv b gd 4 any1 includin myself....its like a 4eva do..this thin i may not had said b4 but actually deep in me i noe..it jus a fact that i nv wann admit..but nw i really noe..no matter wat i will always b livin in the shadows of ppl around me..nw i finally noe y i always tryin gain attention in the class..not even carin if ppl hate me a not..kinda sick rite..but if this really my will then bit..cas nw i dont even care..

today again is such a sad day..i saw his body and it was really sad..i mean i do not know how shuld i say i then start 2 think wat if this falls on me how shuld i take it..i really dunno..but i m still quite thankful tat his parents r betta nw..thank god 4 tat today i went 2 purposely send a msg 2 my crush and later i wrote send wrongly..u noe those kind of lame stuff..i did not really noe y i m doin tat mayb cas i m still thinkin..well i dunno wat i m thinkin 2..anyway i thought it will really b cool if he could u noe reply me back somethin like tat..sadly he didnt..wateva cant even thought i would do such lame n stupid stuff... but the later he went on msn then we started tokin i kinda feel actually i really dunno wat i so in LOVE with him afterall he is really no big deal... but perhaps this is wats love all abt

today..5 sept 06 is a really devastin day how shuld i say.. one of my distant relative had jus passed away though i not really close 2 him but i m really sad he's only 10 he died cause of some horrible brain tumor i dont really know wats the reason of god doin this but i really hope he culd rest in peace.. n may his family members b strong enough 2 carry on... i thin frm this we learnt a very gd lesson nv take life 4 granted.. amen

finally..all the sellin of stuff has finish yesterday was quite a tirin yet fun time 4 me.. like havin the sch inter competition..of sellin things this is really wat i wanna do in the future