sometimes i feel life is really ironic.. somethin tat u always want 2 protect the most actually turns around n backstab u.. like things u do not wan 2 happen actually happen and everythin starts 2 b so messed up..so i feel we mus always b very attentive 2 things we wan 2 protect in order not 2 make any mistakes..but its impossible..i guess its like the most difficult thin 2 do.. i m only a human after all..but sometimes things do happen tat really is under my control.. anyway mayb i 4got 2 mentions this but 1 of the most un4gettable things that had happen this year probably would havin an eye infections..lumps r like growin in my eye which really looks horrible..bcas of this i have 2 wear my spects go out..i think i really sux n i look terribly ugly..but again i mus thx my spects cas if it wasnt 4 it i wont b able 2 c clearly..so ya hopefully my infection would quickly go away... life is really quite borin these few days..i mean its basically tirin..like smtimes i feel everythin i do is wrong..when i speaks i fear tat other ppl would thin otherwise when i really don mean it..thus i feel so bad abt everythin...when i do some stuff i fear tat ppl would not like it though i told ppl not 2 bother but deep down me is full of insecurites tat i really don noe how 2 hide..i guess wish everythin will soon get betta

Once again, i got 2 say its been a long time since i wrote the last entry..Wats up with life nw...so much 2 tok abt..its been such a busy time 4 me..so much had happened..is like nw i busy over some inter sch sellin stuff kind of competition..i feel very stress n at the same time excited over it..but it really veri fucked up when i jus cannot get my ideals out..sometimes i feel me n my other team members ideals jus don match..is difficult cas u noe everyones taste is like so different...then at the end we could not really get wat i want..but i guess is really fine this is jus life jus the way 2 do bussiness.. i really find it cool when my friend's mon offer 2 help us in this n tat but once again sometimes it can b... (nvm abt tat)but actually no matter wat i really hope this whole thin will b a sucess as doin smt like tat is always wat i wanted 2 do..in addition we are first settin stores at sch.jus hope god will watch over us n the thin will b great.. it really piss me off so badly when one of my closer male friend is actually havin this lame n stupid cold war with me n my friends..is like 1 or 2 weeks ago we say smt like mayb a sentence tat offended him n till nw he is not talkin to us i mean wat the hell..he a guy how can he b so petty over small little things..worst of all he bithin' abt how my friend spent his bloody money when they r out i mean he actually wanted 2 try her..wat he did is so digustin..i m so utterly disappointed by his action..but at the same time i wish we can still tok n b friends with him again i mean honestly i miss tat old funny guy so much... Sometimes i jus dun noe wat friday i m in love..i mean gd things always falls on me with my crush..it actually been a long time i tok 2 him i thought after all i had said n done he wont wan 2 tok 2 me but he did..and its cool..he was like askin me y did not tok 2 him n stuff then he stared sendin me music..love tat...recently he is like havin this girl firtin with him all the time actually the girl always firts...i feel like they are doin all the stuff we did b4..but mayb u noe she talks n firt with him more..it makes me feel like i replace but i guess i m not so hurt afterall..i also wat is tat so mayb is bcas he himself is very firt 2 use 2 it probably..i dun noe