i think i am musicholic..i cant seem 2 stop listenin 2 music..i just keep listenin 2 it almost every min.. anyway this few days have been so borin..like there nth new to actually interest me..it sux then just a few days ago i took out this sum 41 'all killer no filler' to hear..i thought it relate 2 me so much..esp the song heart attack jus says wat i wanna say..actually i bought this cd lots of months back at first i thought i wasted my money cause the song frm tat cd wasnt really wat i expected..n i brought jus bcas of the sick of buyin it..n there this guy whom i used to crush is so crazy over this band..so i decided 2 buy..sadly at first i thought it sux but now i come 2 realise actually they do produce gd music..though i prefer their music now than b4...as in the chuck cd is more my thin but this older cd is not bad 2..overall i thought i made a gd choice buyin it..sum 41 kick asses

wat r we really livin 4..i'm sometimes jus so tired abt everythin..school,people,things..jus sux so badly.. i even feel that i sometimes sux as a person..i mean i noe compare 2 others i have a much betta life but i jus dont feel u noe.."home" i think or wateve..i feel so bored abt a lot of things like my work it jus suddenly sux so badly..like it was not as gd as b4 and i m not doin anythin abt it..i feel man, this so bloody bad..n actually i noe how i feel abt my crush all of the time..i try n try i did not get over him..which makes everythin even sicker..y am i so foolish..likin him..it sux knowin he dont even care i really hope tat we could go back to those gd old days..but i noe they will only live in my memory..

eveyone is dumb everythin is fake music is the only thin tat is real 2 me nw

Its been a long time since i upload my journal..actually i really wann do so but then i hav no chance..all i can say this past few days has been so fucked up 4 me..jus few days ago my mother scolded me like shit...n i really feel tat bein young sux..actually i really feel tat i sux badly as a person.. i noe tat she scold me bcas she mean me gd..but i hate it..i mean like wateva..anyway again abt my this whole stupid crush thin is like goin on n off..i thought i 4got abt him but no i did no..then l think i did..wateva its sick..i really if sometimes i lyin 2 myself all wat actually i do like him..i really dunno... n 2 day i saw him tokin 2 this whole bunch of gals jus like wat he n me use 2 b like then i was like feelin go ur own way..i'm over u..m i really over him..i m confuse..so wat am i really feelin..everythin jus sux and smt i feel life is so sick is like there nth i can really do everythin i dun wan jus fall on me..like i hav 2 go 4 this fuckin maths remedial hearin tat i feel my life nw is so fuck up..y everythin i wan jus don come my own bloody way..

i think the best expectation in life is no expectation.. this way u will enjoy a lot of things in ur life.. 2day i went 4 this sch trip which i first thought it would b quite borin..but i was so wrong abt it it was so bloody fun.. i make more new friends..which is really great i think these small things in life really make my whole day brighten up.. i really like this outin very much..hopefully tat could happen more often.. i feel tat i really started 2 get him off my mind a bit.. by mixin wit new ppl AINT TAT GREAT!

oh god i really don wan 2 think abt him.. but i really cannot.. some1 pls save me.. he keep stuckin in my head.. he sux..but y do i like him so much

some 1 give me a hug..i nd tat so badly.. life can really sux so much sometimes i got this friend who really sux like hell..she loves tellin me how gd her life is n all tat shit..wateva is not like i wann noe But the worst of all she noe i like this guy n she purposely go n flirt wit him.. the worst of all she keep tellin me all the things the guy do 2 her..and she later tell me u wont b jealous rite.. FUCK HER man..I HATE IT.. my crush is not any betta...He sux big bloody time.. i really hate him..how i wish i can jus get over him jus like tat..everythin sux everythin burns.. God pls save me frm everythin.. but anyway i noe i could not say anythin i mean its a free world they can do wat they like but i jus very irritated.. i jus hope 2 get over him soon..

I think the whole rain-dark story relats 2 me quite a bit..but i think they r so much betta..they both like each other..they will b leavin the sch the same yr..the best of all they might b getin 2gether..honestly really happy 4 them wit a bit of envy.. i thought after goin back 2 sch i can treat everythin as normally like the whole confession thin nv happen..i really wrong i jus cannot treat him like wat i use 2 do..if i noe things will turn out like tat i will nv let it happen..i found myself avoidin him more tat he do..its jus very hard 4 me 2 u noe start 2 tok 2 him..i really got millons of things 2 tell him but i dunno how 2 break it...u noe when i c him flirtin wit other gals which he always do it really suxs..but i noe its really his own freedom but i jus cant help 2 feel veri jealous.. a part of me really wan 2 get over him and move on but another part jus cant let him go..i still try 2 wait 4 him after sch..jus like b4...sometomes i c him sometimes i dont but i still dun mind waitin..even i c him 4 jus tat bit i still feel veri happy...cas i really noe i might not hav this chance after a few months more..i really feel veri upset abt eveythin..the whole damn thin jus sux so badly...i m so wrong abt everythin i thought tat mayb i cant jus 4get him easily but i jus cannot...u noe i really noe he dont like me...the excuse he gave is jus 2 make me feel betta..but somtimes i rather he can jus tell me he don like me i think tat way things will b betta though it hurts terribley but now its worst...i think its veri hard 4 me 2 ever tell some1 i like him anymore.. the experience is jus 2 hard 4 me 2 bear...i will nv make this kind of mistake i wish..since u noe how things change everytime n its really out of our control sometimes..

U noe its really funny how 2 ppl like each oyher so much but they cant seem 2 be 2gether...Well seriously i feel this is really tragic..The worst of it is both of them jus cannot feel that both of them r so in love wit each other..This is exactly wat happens 2 my best friends..my this gd friend of mine i shuld jus name her, rain. My this guy friend of mine i shuld jus name him,dark.gals betta. 4 some reasons rain always rejects dark sayin they cannot b 2gether cas of blah blah blah..Then when dark goes "flirt" around she gets all kind of sad n jealous (actually he not really flirtin around is jus tat she treats every gal very nice)...Rain always avoid him cas she feels very jealous n insecure 2wards him all the time.. but she nvs gives him the time 2 really tok 2 her wateva or give him the chance 2 b wit her...then if he really flirts around is not really his fault..mayb he is jus tryin get over her ..(but i noe he wont he 2 deeply in love wit her 2 let her go)..wat cant she jus understand tat sometimes she is her main source of her own pain...ya but at the end of the day i not any 1 to judge..love can b veri blind n selfish sometimes...anyway i kinda feel tat rain is startin 2 accept him mayb she finally realise how much he meant 2 her..i think she finally found out time is really precious..no matter wat they got my blessin...