its been a while tat i upload my entry..God i've got so much 2 write... well firstly i wanna say doin project wrk with some kind of ppl really sux..there is this gal who is 1 of my best friend does not do anythin..cas she went on holiday those kind of stuff...but i think even though she does not go aboard she would not bother 2 do any crap..she always have this 'thin' tat make ppl blieve she the hardworkin 1 ...but till they c her real self they will noe..how fuckin hell she can b..u noe she say tat we don understand her plight tat her grandfather jus passed away so she jus don hav tat mood 2 do work..2 me i'm sorri 2 hear tat but com on man she say that her holiday in this particular place is so fun..she watches the tv everyday.. i mean if she really sad she wont b doin such thin..she shuld b cryin daily..since she got so much energy y don she jus do smt more productive.. i mean is a grp wrk..i hate it but i do it..y cant she n this is not jus it she is like pushin the blame 2 me n my other grp member of not understandin her not givin her wrk 2 do n her adittude 2wards me really sux..i jus cant explain how frustrated i am..i really can actually let everythin rest but... is like she is such a total change person..she is jus like not herself..i dunno any way this really sux..i hate it..

Another day has pass again..i had like choir practices for like almost the whole day..startin it was pretty borin but towards the end it was better..so at the end i kinda enjoy it...i hav this friend who loves 2 boost 2 me abt her life...in a sense tat she would say how sad it is 2 b ''smart", "rich"...n shit things like tat..and she will keep cryin actin depress jus 2 fuckin ger attention..i really wanna tell her 2 shut her bloody crap..i mean every 1 noes how fake she is..her prentenious act...i jus hate it i mean sometimes i feel very bad bitichin abt her..she is nice 2 me at times but after all i think no 1 can stands any 1 who try 2 hard...and she always sayin how other ppl hates her n things like tat i mean frm the way u are promotin urself who will like u..i really wanna ask her 2 bloody hell wake up

there so much sch wrk 2 do and i have not even started doin any..i feel so guilty...always say i wan 2 do but at the end of the day none is complete...my attention will jus always shift away...there jus 2 wks more till sch reopen..not sure if i shuld feel happy or sad...this holiday i'm always back to sch 4 some choir practices(we gonna hav a concert soon)..borin!! but havin 2 see my instructor workin so hard really make everythin worth it..i think she really amazin person though i feel she some wat does not really like me..but who cares!But i guess i do understand y she does not really like me..i think i can b really annyoin at times n i really piss ppl off.haha sometimes i really feel havin this journal entry is really a cool CAS IT ALLOWS ME TO WRITE THINGS I COULD NEVER TELL PPL.

yesterday i met my crush... i met him like in the most unexpected place on earth..it was at my house mini mart... that kind of feelin is really damn bloody funny,weird.. n the worst of all i was buy some women stuff..after i say hello 2 him..i ran to 1 of the sector and dump my stuff there..then later he came over n told me he had 2 go n shit like tat..omg..i cant seem 2 stop laugin..n look away..i think its so obvious tat i m so nervous..but i mean after all the confession n shit..how can i not b..i mean omg..life is jus so weird i jus can seems to stop think abt it..i mean...but i still happy tat at least we r able 2 tok..but i kinda find it hard 2 be back myself..its really not tat easy.. anyway i jus hope 4 the best between us

i've got this guy friend..who i think is really sweet...i guess he really change the way how i c this world.. when i m sad or down when i start tokin to him i really feel much better abt myself and things in the world..it is really great to hav a friend like him.. a lot of things in life is really not definate..i rmb i use to hate him last year..its amazin how we now CAN BCOME GD FRIENDS..this year a lot of events happen..i finally found mayb at the end of the day i m not who i think iam..i thought i m those kind of ppl who is not afraid of love problems n shit like tat i thought i am strong enough to take all this pain..but i m really wrong..afterall i wanna feel secure feel loved i m not tat strong...Anyway, ireally feel veri happy 2 hav a friend like tat..i wish him all the best..

i feel like i've been cheated for an ans.. n like i've been rejected 4 no reason is like kinda funny how things turn out 2 b u noe it was like playin this stupid game with my crush then somehow i kinda confess 2 him i like him..then he was all like well we cant b together cas of age differ n studies(he 2 yrs older tat me,next yr he leavin my sch this yr an important yr 4 him).. anyway i really dun know if this is true he really feels tat way or he don like me at all..jus tryin 2 give excuses n shit like tat.. wat eva it is this feelin really sux.. and on top or it i nv said tat i wann b wit him i mean lol is jus a crush rite.. i really feel vei foolish n very upset abt this.. this is so fucked up.. how shuld i even c him now i really wann get over him...but i noe i will miss him alot when he's gone

wow i didn't know we can write journals here after so long bein a member...i think it's pretty cool... Firstly of course i have to say i love music dearly.. I'm into alot of bands...punk rock music is by far my first love...though now start to listen 2 a bit of metal and rencently i'm into alternative music...which is really amazing...i think it really kindo cool how ican b so open towards many kind of sound.. the bands that i like the juliana theory unwritten law the used mcr linkin park bullet for my valentine the killers maroon 5 papa roach the beatles the cure (still got much more but these r my top few) solo artist eminem(the only hip hop rapper i like) avril.L