I wish i could bleed from every pore. For he´s what I want, but cannot have. I could go dry, please, please.please.please.please.please.please.please.please.please.please.please.please. Go dry!!!!!!!

OK. I wrote to him, i visited him, he couldn´t stop smiling, neither could i. So i guess we´re alright. Maybe,he knws what I´m waiting for.... jeje. Yesterday I saw one of my old loves, he stared at me, I passed him by, it looks like i wasn´t enough then but now I am, well, no, I don´t care. So far, so great...

I spoke to him that night for a few hours, I could barely listen to the high music when all I really wanted was to hear his wise, soft, deep words. I think, we could be friends, but I'm too fuckin' shy to go visit him, or call him... he won't forget me. I think he understands me more that I dared to think... maybe we are the same, and we were born to find each other and learn again everything we are. I left the reunion knowing more than ever that he's the one to change my life, and my thoughts and my future... in fact, everything i am. But just maybe, no, i'll do averything possile to keep him near my heart and everything i do, wich i do at last, to honor him. I don't know, he's so wonderful, you won't find someone as him, ever. At least, i don't think so, he's complicated, and even when he's not the huge mystery he was when i didn't know anything, I don't think i'll ever finish to explore his kickass mind and wEirdness,. I could keep on and on, I can think about him without repeating my thoughts or memories for whole days. I'll write if something happens. I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD.I JUST PRAY IT'S FOR GOOD...HE IS THE THING I WANT THE MOST.

Well, yesterday I noticed that my last day there, I wasn´t with him. He forgave me, he gave me one of his drawings... I had asked for it like months ago, anyway,as I'm so stupid and useless, i lost it among all ofthe other drawings of my own. I realised, I' never gonna be in class with him anymore, I won't look at his deep eyes or listen to him talking to me, i hoped we could be friends... but I'm sure he's sure he'll forget me soon... I'm just not ready to get rid of the one person I waited to meet all of of my short life... nothing feels finished. Fear is killing me