I feel like throwing my half-empty glass.

Why would someone leave you like that? Did nothing matter to them? If I am supposed to appreciate the moment can I at least have the memory erased completely because reminiscing ain't fun. Especially when you see others having what you once had but never really took the time to notice it until its gone. HA-HA.

I feel like shit. My vermicelli salad is not up to par and nobody wants to show me how to make it and I am said to complain which is probably why my food ain't good. What the heck am I doing here? Please tell me. It is so hard to be composed.

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF. 1.) Eventhough I only managed to do one question, but my Imbangan Duga was balanced! I know it's nothing much to super geniuses but this is coming from someone who hates Accounts to actually looking forward to doing the number one question in SPM. I might not get an A or even a C but am still glad. Thank you God and the relief teacher who shed some light on me.. 2.) At Manhattan Fish Market, I decided to try the promoted Mahi Mahi dish since my father talkS about enjoying one in Honolulu. Alas, it was not up to expectation. Even the salmon chowder ain't nice. However, I managed to do one thing that night repeatedly. Baby steps..

Wanna know what I'm up to? Well, I went to JB on the first weekend. Tomorrow I'm not so sure what I'm gonna do since S haven't replied to me yet. But I guess I'll just go to school on Thursday where I don't have to worry about being bored and doing my peka.

"Kriiiiiing!" After the recess bell rang, I walked with S down one floor and waited for a couple of my friends. While I was spying A, the same junior Chinese prefect from before who asked me not to eat in the classroom asked me another question today, "What are you doing here?" "I'm waiting for my friends." "Is anything going on there?" she was referring to the commotion from the science stream classes. "It's just that we're going to the Hall (closed one), so I think they're packing their bags." She then turned away and went down to the same floor where the commotion was. *** S telah mengajakku untuk turun ke pondok. Aku telah mengatakan kepadanya bahawasanya aku hendak menunggu dua orang kawanku. Dia berasa bosan lalu memberitahuku bahawa dia akan ke pondok dahulu. Setekah sekian lama aku menunggu keseorangan, aku pun mengalah turun separuh tingkat di mana terdapatnya pengawas tadi bersama seorang rakannya yang juga seorang pengawas cuma dia ini bertudung. Aku sedikit hairan kerana nampak S berdiri dengan menggalas beg sekolahnya yang berwarna hitam. "Eh, why are you still here?" "I'm waiting for you la. But then the pengawas won't let me." "Oh," ketawaku kecil. Sampai sahaja di pondok, S memberitahuku bahawa dia ingin membuat salinan IC untuk pendaftaran SPM yang akan kami hadapi dalam beberapa bulan lagi. Aku pun mengeluarkan kerja rumah Matematik yang telah diberikan Cikgu A pada awal pagi tadi. Belum sempat saya mahu membuat saya terpandang dua orang rakanku yang ku tunggu dari tadi sedang turun tangga. Aku melambai mereka. Mereka mendekatiku. A mengajakku ke bilik air. Aku pun menanyanya, "Kenapa tak pergi dengan LY tadi?" Dia pun memberi alasannya. Dengan rasa serba salah aku pun mengikutinya. Dari atas, di mana tandas berada aku lihat LY bercakap dengan seorang pengawas bertudung yang sedang mengerjakan sesuatu perkara. Kurang sedikit rasa serba salahku. Sekembalinya kami ke pondok, aku duduk di sebelah kawan kepada kawanku. "This is H's brother," terang LY. "I know." Aku pun memandangnya dan senyum, "Hi" "What's up?" sapanya kembali. Sesudah salam perkenalan tersebut, aku pun menawarkan kepada tiga orang rakanku untuk memakan Snek Ayamas bersamaku. Mereka masing-masing mengambil sesuatu dari lunchbox yang berisi cocktail sausages (with cheese inside, yum!) dan dua jenis bebola makanan laut yang telah dibeli ibuku semalam untukku. Tak masuk lagi sebiji cocktail sausages ke dalam mulut, aku terus ditegur oleh seorang pengawas bernama (yang pernah bersekutu bersamaku semasa sekolah rendah untuk dilayani oleh rakan sebaya Jepun kami yang bersekolah di Kuala Lumpur). Kami tidak sepatutnya makan di situ. "Ok...," aku menyimpan kembali makanan rehatku. Ini merupakan kali ke-2 pada 2 minggu pertama persekolahan bermula aku ditegur pasal habit makan gwe. Selesainya rehat, kami naik ke dewan tertutup yang berada di blok Tingkatan 3. Di situlah kami telah menghadapi peperiksaan dua tahun yang lalu. Aku melangkah masuk ke dewan. Aku nampak kawan-kawanku yang lain telah duduk di barisan hadapan. "Adi! Sit here," ajak E. "I don't wanna sit there. Nanti you kacau me. I'm going to sit at the back so I can kacau you," aku senyum kecil. Dia pun gelak. "Adi, Adi...," sapa FI. "Hi, F(I)," aku menyapanya kembali. A telah mengajakku untuk duduk dengannya tetapi LY mahu duduk di bawah kipas dan S tidak mahu duduk di tepi. Akhirnya, kami bertiga duduk di belakang mereka semua di kerusi yang berwarna biru pekat. Dah duduk je, aku pun makan. Apabila aku ingin keluar untuk membuang sampah, aku ditegur F pula, "Ha, makan!" "Eh, I belum makan eh tadi," aku lawan sambil aku berjalan menuju pintu. Di luar, aku ternampak seseorang yang berbaju ungu buat kali ke-tiganya hari ini. Kali ini aku yakin untuk mendapatkan perhatiannya. Dari atas, aku menjenguk ke bawah dan memanggilnya, "H!" Tak tahu nak cakap apa aku pun mengeluarkan kata-kata yang berikutnya, "Where's my 10 cents?" Dia merupakan kawanku yang sering buat lawak di dalam kelas dan setelah setahun bergurau senda dengannya, kini dia akan meninggalkan sekolahku ini. "Come down la," ajaknya sambil membuat isyarat tangan. Aku enggan lalu terus menanyakan lagi soalan yang sama kepadanya. Dia tidak menjawab lagi. Seorang rakan sekelas yang berada di sebelahnya telah menyuruhku mencari ketua kelas kami. Aku masuk ke dalam lalu melihat semua wajah untuk muka yang dicari-cari. Tidak kelihatan. Aku keluar kembali. Aku keluar untuk bersama LY dan S. Beberapa orang tingkatan 5 telah naik tangga dan melalui kami. Aku terserempak dengan K (yang pernah ke tadika yang sama denganku) lalu menanya pasal ketua kelas kami. Dia tidak tahu-menahu. Rakannya pula mengatakan, "Tu! The black one". Aku tertipu. Mereka pun masuk ke dalam. Aku melihat ke bawah dan menerangkan kepada orang yang mencarinya. Setelah semua yang terjadi aku pun masuk bersama LY yang telah diikuti oleh S selepas dia mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada H buat kali terakhirnya. We were in for a very funny and insightful talk.

okay so here's stuff i wanna let out of my system August i'm currently practising for the national procession which includes aerobics and traditional self-defense moves, kiddy moves (or rather it's how the song sounds like) also 'soyuz' which only today do i know how to spell it but still clueless about the definition. this has been going on about two months and i have one more week to practise. the big day is on the 31st of august. yes, you've guessed it it's the National Day of Malaysia! If you didn't well you're probably gonna flunk school. Haha. JK. Malaysia is actually the flag that looks like America's flag and it is the venue of the MTV Asia Awards 2008. So don't tell me, you still don't know where it is. If not, you're seriously *&%#! Okay enough said. So don't forget to remember to watch me on TV!! September There's gonna be a whole lot of catching up to do seeing as how I've missed two whole months worth of syllabus (es?) Wish me Good luck for my test on the 14th! October Raya! Whee. This means that school is out and i get to hang out with my cousins! Yippee! They're kinda like the only ones where I can be able to be myself with and more. HAHA. And after that more questions to be answered as the exams falls on this month from the sky!! Huh? November 15th November!!! end of school. Wheeeeeeeee. December Most probably studying for SPM. If I flunked my previous exams. This is surely one exam I do not want to fail.

I will shower, then pray. If abah doesn’t come home, then i’m gonna have to buy milk with my maid. I’m gonna load all 3 of the tvb series on crunchyroll and cook my pasta! I think this option is much more fun. Hehe. Plus, i get to burn a few extra calories when i go to the store. If he does come back, however. I might just eat first and continue my life as a couch potato afterwards. My life is full of dilemma. Let me show you another predicament. I was suppose to go shopping for clothes and such. Then, i will balik kampong, if my cousins are there or maybe to one of their house. But right now i can’t even contact friend A to go shopping with. I can’t go with my mom since she’ll get fed up if i end up not buying anything. It is hard to look for a tee for a girl like me, you know. So i suppose i’ll wait for friend B and go with friend C & D next week on Monday, maybe. But whatever it is, i have to get back by the 30th of November. Which is probably the reason why i wanna buy stuff anyway – the trip to Terengganu, Kelantan and Cherating a few days later. Banyak pening, oh. Anyways, i felt happy after exercising for about 40 minutes, walking back and forth in my house while trying to sing along to the many songs in my pink iPod mini. One of the 2 blackheads that i squeezed is starting to form a pus right now. But at least the redness has reduced. So i’m only dizzy for these two situations: a) I’m hungry. b) I want new clothes! Check back soon for another episode!