And it's all my fault. I know it is.. Shit, I have to work all day and by the time I come back there won't be any time to go on the computer. And then I'll be busy on Thursday. And I'll be leaving that night. I could maybe fit in a good bye message..but...I'm a fucking fraid. He might be too angry with me to even want to talk to me when I come back..He might have lost interest. (I know I would.) Urgh..like..five more minutes. I dunno why I'm glad to chat with Jaden. Guess because we were both broken hearted by the same guy.

I'd like to tell him that. But I couldn't. What's going to happen is that he'll stay angry at me for a long time and I won't try and make up for fear of getting turned down. "I don't wanna crash and burn!" -Talan, Laguna Beach. Yep. I wrote this a couple minutes after the argument happened. “You’re an ass.” Ouch. Wouldn’t it be so cool…so wonderful if years later I had a friend, a wonderful friend, who I could come home to everyday. Someone I’ve known for years, who knows me deeply, understands everything about me deeply. Wouldn’t it be wonderful? I guess it was his turn to just walk out of an argument. I did it last time…though this time I’m sure he won’t be crawling back to me as I did. The reason being he doesn’t really love me. He tells me all the time that he does, jokingly so, friendly like so, honestly so. I don’t. The irony, I love him. It wasn’t just because he was high… He had hurt me the other day…unintentionally I know! But goddamn it, I’ll admit it, I wanted to hurt him. Anyways...it hurts...so much. At the same time I can barely feel. something's missing and I know it's my fault. I would do anything for him to just...get back online and say those words..I swear I would say them back. And mean it with all of my heart.

And it hurts oh so much. I feel like throwing up constantly because I am constantly thinking of him. I love Faye even more now. Chris/ Hinton is annoying. Really wtf? So is Jaden. I don't think he likes her very much anymroe since he's seen his picture..deosn't make me the bad guy you know. It doesn't! E-Pro is gorgeous. I went to a concert Sunday. It was fucking awesome. I'll never forget it. Never. I'm lying. rude-boy is ugly. I'm just as bad as he is. Worse.

How the hell did it remember that? Well that's not the point nevermind. A lot of things have changed. I'm back on Teenspot. I've got e-friends. I think I'll only be talking about my e-life right now...real life will have to wait foranother entry. First off, Faye. I never, never thought...I'd meet someone to whom I could tell anything..you know like that..I didn't think I'd like her at first..But she's wonderful. She could be the cause to why I'm so popular at TS you know. Next. Andre. I don't even know his name...and I won't say it...but yeah you know...He's so fucking great. How I'd love to meet him. Just to talk to him, get to know him even more (as if I don't know enough as it is!) He...I wish I could explain to myself how important he is to me but I don't think it's possible. Ashwin. Better known as rude-boy...I still sort of get a rush whenever I see his name..but I'm over that e-crush. For once, I'm telling myself the goddamn honest truth. I think I like Chris, aka, hinton17, but I'm not too sure. On the boards he's awesome..chatting is cool also but...I dunno..I get a weird feeling. Not like he's weird or anything..we just don't click like..well like me and Andre and Faye do. We're family. I consider them very close family. Maybe Ashwin is too. Anthony221. Important. Kewldude50/ Cognoscent/Lewis. Franki_frog/ Jaden Lydia..I wanna hate her because I know Andre and her are close now..have been ever since I left for a long while..but she's great. what3v3r. I don't know what is it with that dude. I think he just want's to be mean to be liked. I'm fond of him. Nightwish. So so scary. but oh so lovely. Aaron. Fuck, do I have to repeat myself? you know what that can just go with every mod there. I'll write more about TS later. And believe me..there is more... By the way. Happy 6/6/06 Candy. I hope you enjoyed yourself.