so, today was fun. the friend and her bf...broken up again. blahhh. serious relationship issues just baked her brownies and we talked about how much boys suck sometimes. Grey's is on tonighttt :]]] and October Roaddddd :]]]]]x2 annnddd i don't have any geometry homework! :] WOOHOO i'm likin' lovehatehero right now. they seem to be just the right amount of screaming+musical ability to be perfect for my taste as of late. good stuff, good stuff. i'm reading "A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn. it's really interesting :] i'm such a history nerd, seriously. anywayss. i've decided.... I NEED A LOVER THAT WON'T DRIVE ME CRAZY [; ahh Jonn Mellencamp is love

ahh i'm in a fab mood :] so earlier this week, my friend broke up with her boyfriend because the relationship was getting too serious and blahblahblahh. and so she was feeling all emo, and then he was feeling all emo, and i was trying to make them both feel better, which ended up making me feel emo but they got back together today :] so i'm amp'd to the max. he's so happy. it's awesome. now my world can stop being emo :] YAY! the only bad parts of today are that i have a sore throat, and i have to use the basement computer because my mom abducted my laptop. ...and that i had my iTunes on shuffle, and some "Josie and the Pussycats" song just came on. WTF? seriously, why is this shit even on my computer? *deleted* ahh, now it's Journey. much better :] life is beautiful.

so here's the deal. i'm pissed at myself. i have/had feelings for this total buttmunch. i thought hhe felt the same way, but i guess not. shit happens. don't want to go into the details. anyway, i got pissed at him, i totally spilled my guts. i told him everything i feel and that i felt and exactly what i was thinking, and then i just asked him, "do you like me like that at all?" and do you know what i got in response? "i don't really know" which is basically a no. i mean, if you don't know, then you don't feel it. just say that and i'll go away. seriously, don't make me sit here waiting for you because you think i will. eff you bia, i'm' already gone. anyways, so i talked to one of my guys friends about it, who talked to shitface about it all, and that assmonkey basically said that i'm ridiculous and that he just doesn't care how i feel and that he's not sorry for all the shit that he did to hurt me in the past (long story) and all that. eff him. screw boys. and now i'm angry because he's out there in the world thinking that he deserves all that i felt for him, when in reality, he doesn't. at all. in reality, all that he deserves is a swift kick in the temple from someone wearing cleats. and i can't exactly go up to him and be like "i take that back. i now realize that my friends were right, and all you are is a stupid, pot head, jerk and that i can do better." i sware, if that boy tries to talk to me again, it's very likely that i will rip every piece of greasy emo-hair out of his head. no joke. blahhhh. ass hole.