have you ever felt like your losing everyone important in your life? like you're all drifting away, and the next thing you know you're going to end up totally isolated and alone? i have. i do. i hate it. ugh.

hah, i like how my title is so misleading. like, say, upon reading that one my infer that i'm reffering to myself, or even that i'm about to tell you a story about such a girl. alas my friends, that is not so. today i'm just here to tell you, that i like emo music. yes, yes i do. and i also like ska. random? yes, yes, indeed. but that's me, so whatever. the other thing that i like, is babbling in blogs. it's fun times :D unlike myspace. myspace sucks. FUCK MYSPACE. ahhahaha. well, i'ma go. buhbye.

so, today was fun. the friend and her bf...broken up again. blahhh. serious relationship issues just baked her brownies and we talked about how much boys suck sometimes. Grey's is on tonighttt :]]] and October Roaddddd :]]]]]x2 annnddd i don't have any geometry homework! :] WOOHOO i'm likin' lovehatehero right now. they seem to be just the right amount of screaming+musical ability to be perfect for my taste as of late. good stuff, good stuff. i'm reading "A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn. it's really interesting :] i'm such a history nerd, seriously. anywayss. i've decided.... I NEED A LOVER THAT WON'T DRIVE ME CRAZY [; ahh Jonn Mellencamp is love

ahh i'm in a fab mood :] so earlier this week, my friend broke up with her boyfriend because the relationship was getting too serious and blahblahblahh. and so she was feeling all emo, and then he was feeling all emo, and i was trying to make them both feel better, which ended up making me feel emo but they got back together today :] so i'm amp'd to the max. he's so happy. it's awesome. now my world can stop being emo :] YAY! the only bad parts of today are that i have a sore throat, and i have to use the basement computer because my mom abducted my laptop. ...and that i had my iTunes on shuffle, and some "Josie and the Pussycats" song just came on. WTF? seriously, why is this shit even on my computer? *deleted* ahh, now it's Journey. much better :] life is beautiful.

so here's the deal. i'm pissed at myself. i have/had feelings for this total buttmunch. i thought hhe felt the same way, but i guess not. shit happens. don't want to go into the details. anyway, i got pissed at him, i totally spilled my guts. i told him everything i feel and that i felt and exactly what i was thinking, and then i just asked him, "do you like me like that at all?" and do you know what i got in response? "i don't really know" which is basically a no. i mean, if you don't know, then you don't feel it. just say that and i'll go away. seriously, don't make me sit here waiting for you because you think i will. eff you bia, i'm' already gone. anyways, so i talked to one of my guys friends about it, who talked to shitface about it all, and that assmonkey basically said that i'm ridiculous and that he just doesn't care how i feel and that he's not sorry for all the shit that he did to hurt me in the past (long story) and all that. eff him. screw boys. and now i'm angry because he's out there in the world thinking that he deserves all that i felt for him, when in reality, he doesn't. at all. in reality, all that he deserves is a swift kick in the temple from someone wearing cleats. and i can't exactly go up to him and be like "i take that back. i now realize that my friends were right, and all you are is a stupid, pot head, jerk and that i can do better." i sware, if that boy tries to talk to me again, it's very likely that i will rip every piece of greasy emo-hair out of his head. no joke. blahhhh. ass hole.

i leave for Disney with the Marching Band in four days :] how rad is that? [in answer to myself, it is radder then the raddest thing in radville. it is as rad as the previous statement is lame] i'm pretty excited about that. i need to get away from school for a while. we've only been back a week, and i'm already sick of it. summer cannot come soon enough, i swear. my hair smells really good. i just got out of the shower, so it smells all clean and shampoo-ish :] i've decided that smelling good is a huge turn-on. like, there's this kid on my bud that always smells amazing, and somehow his mere aroma makes him ten points cuter. my take on life is this: no matter what you act like, there's going to be someone out there that hates you for it. so, just be yourself, because it's a hell of a lot more fun. k, i'm gonna peace:] laterrrrr

Boys Like Girls. they're rad. i'm hoping to go to their concert in May, but it's on my brother's birthday, so on the off-chance he decides to a) be in towns and b) hang out with his family on that particular day, a problem may arise. i'm doubting he will do either, nontheless both of those things however, so it should work out. speaking of work - i did today. it wasn't all that great. i'm not used to this working on weekdays junk, and i'm doing it again tomarrow. ugh. retail bites, my feet are freaking killing me dude. it doesn't helpt that i had to deal with this book that was spawned in the depths of Hell. i'm not even kidding. this book WAS the Devil. i think it was the first book i've ever met that i didn't like *gasp* and i've met lots of books. my eyes itch really badly. fhakl-ing allergies. my iTunes is really letting me down today. i've got it on shuffle, and it's bringing up practically every song in my library that i'm not in the mood to listen to today. LAME. i love how there are some things in this world that i can do really well, if, and only if, i'm not thinking about what i'm actually doing. take typing for instance. i was totally just rocking the world in typing in that last paragraph, and then, for whatever reason, i started thinking about what i was actually doing, and *SHA-ZAMM!* typos galore start pouring from my fingers. Damn thinking, ruins everything. I've noticed that i'm the same way with like, Guitar Hero, StepMania, DDR, and playing flute. or maybe i actually suck at all that stuff, and i just don't realize it because i'm not focusing on it? oh dang folks, step back, i'm making big revelations now! *wooo!* i'm actually tired for the first time in a week or two, but i can't go to sleep because i just got out of the shower and my hair's all soggy and cold. So, if i went ot sleep now, it would be very damp, and my hair would expand to a frightening size that could smother this quaint little town of Chestertucky, and would be a total nightmare to deal with in the morning. God has a vicious sense of humor sometimes. well, i'm sleepy, my eyes are in pain, and the blinding whit eof this web-page isn't helping in the least, so i'm leaving now. "maybe it's dark over there...but over here...we've got north-facing windows, so we get plenty of sunshine. Come over and let me show you the sun." :] "

i thought i would blog on here for the SECOND time in ONE WEEK! *gasp* i know, it's amazing, i can tell you're all floored with shock, surprise, wonder, and merriment, ect. so, tell me, what's with this whole male race. why do they all seem to SUCK, eh? someone want to explain that one to me? Nice boys? those are just a fable. Really, boys, men, guys, those with penises are just put on Earth to drive women, girls, chicas, those without, ABSOLUTLY CRAZY. that's a fact kids. more true then anything they teach you in school. garunteed (yeah, i'm once again being a really cool spell-er. deal) or your money back [;

wow, here i was, sitting, thinking that i was totally without a blog here on this site, and apparently, i was not. it appears i posted one earlier. hmm, odd. anyways, i'm bored. i only blog when i'm bored, which means that said blogs are usually just rants of one form or another. mindless babblings that no one really cares about. which is cool, because i seriously doubt anyone actually reads this. why would they, eh? i'm pretty useless as this blogging junk. i don't know why i'm even doing this. like i said before, it's obviously a total waste of time, because no one is going to read this, other then myself, probably in a couple months or a year or whatever, and i'll laugh to myself thinking about how stupid i am [now] and how i'm so much cooler then [the future], but that's probably a lie. i'm probably just as much of a dorkface in the future :] hah, i probably sound like a pretty emo, lonely, loserish, NO LIFe kind of kid, right? yeah, no, i'm not. i sware, pointless blogging is not my life, seriously. if it were, my blogs wouldn't be so spiratic and pointless (hey future me, can i spell then? because i'm pretty sure that i just got that one wrong. spiratic? yeah, that just doesn't look right...or maybe it is, and i'm just too tired to realize it? idk.) but yeah, if this computer-ing junk was the only life i had, my blogs would be way cooler and be full of meaningful stuff about life and sadness and why E doesn't really equal MC-squared or whatever. but this, this is way lamer then that. so, i'm kind of on a Grey's Anatomy kick. that show is pretty great :] seriously. on another random topic, i don't want to go to work tomarrow at all. which is probably why i'm refusing to go to sleep, even though my contacts are practically falling out of my eyes with sleep-time fatigue. (fatigue, let me guess, i spelled that one wrong too didn't i? or maybe i didn't and i'm just being brain dead again? blah, i don't really care, and i'm sure you don't either, do you Future-Me? moving on...) it's almost like i think that if i don't go to sleep, i'll be miserable, and my boss will just say "oh, it's okay, you don't have to work today, you can just nap at home and i'll drop off the day's pay at your house later. rest up kiddo!" which is SO not going to happen. I mean, my boss is a cool guy (heck, he's my BFF's dad), but he's still a boss, and futhermore, he's sane. So, what's actually going to happen is that i'll wake up tomarrow, wishing with every ounce of my being for another 29750411 hours of sleep, drag myself though what promises to be a dull but wearing day, and then go (totally exhausted, might i add) to church, which will begin at around 7 p.m. until...late, because it's the Easter Vigil mass, and that's when everyone in the church gets to confess and watch people get baptized and light each other's candles (in a totally NOT R.E.N.T. kind of way) and then end up collapsing into bed long after i should, get up much earlier then i should, and try to convince my sleep deprived body to look cute in my adorable Easter outfit, and pretend to be perky, simply for the purpose of annoying my princesses-of-all-things-dark-and-evil-and-not-preppy cousins who i don't like very much :] ahh, i am SO evil, and they don't even realized that i've totally mastered their art and used it against them. HAH. i so win. wow, it's strange how writing this all down (or, rather, typing this all out) almost makes it worth something, even though it's not. at all. hm, continuing my sleepy rambling with intent to post probably isn't the smartest thing to do, so i do suppose i'll end here. Goodnight Future Me :] and on the extreme off-chance that some poor soul stumbled across this blog and began reading, expecting it to have a point and is now realizing that it really, really, doesn't...Goodnight. I'm very sorry, I know you were probably just reading away, expecting me to ACTUALLY tell you why E doesn't equal MC-squared, but i warned you early on, you can't expect that kind of stuff out of me. Seriously.