Well, i never even met him. But it's like i know him now. And all i did was read a book about him, written by his mother. But i mean how can he change me?. Just the things he went through, what he wrote, in his diaries. It amazes me. He had such a good soul, yet it was so tortured, when i was reading it, all i wanted to do was go where he was and hug him and help him. He made me a better person, i think. But how can one love another and not even know the other? I have no idea. But i do love him, i'm not IN love with him, haha don't get paranoid. But i do love him, and i wish he was back here so i could meet him, and help him. And let him live a long happy life with his family. He deserved it, after those horrible years. I mean he went through so much, and he actually made it out pretty okay, and got a chance to have a good time. He was going pretty good, but i guess he just lost hope because he was going back to where he once was. Maybe his sould burned then, and the block he was carrying that was pushing him down, pushed too hard. And he was scared,he wouldn't be able to carry that block anymore, or enough. He'd be there carrying that block, forever, but it would weigh on his soul, and he couldn't be happy or live normal. And he just wanted to find a way, where he didn't have to carry it anymore. And that's why he did it. And maybe he thought, it'd give his parents and siblings and loved ones peace. He wouldn't burden them, even if he never burdened to them in their minds. Maybe he thought so. Well i dont want to mention names about him. He's happy where he is now. And I do love and care about him. Just be happy where u are Nicky. Bye Forever in My Heart And how did he change me? I don't know. I think he gave me a way to understand life better. OR not life but emotions.

Well, i was in the car today. And i was just thinking, i mean mental notes..ur thinking about something, and u think to urself, this is important. Mental Note. What is that about? And strangely enough, you actually do remember. I mea for instance, we went to the gas station, and u just got a new car, and yea u don't knw which side the gas goes in, so u check and let's say it's on the right side. And u think mental nore, it's on the right side. And then after that, every time you go there, you actually remember where it is. What is that?. And this isn't just about gas and stuff. It includes other more important things. Like a person, you see him/her only once in your life, but you just think alot about that person and you think, mental note, i'll never forget this moment. and you actually never forget it. The mind is a mysterious place. In there lies so many things, that if u remember all, you could go crazy. What if the mind was bigger, and you actually really do remember, your life before this one, or when u were a baby. I mean things that could be remembered. That'd be something. Well now i'm just talking crap..Soon it's new year's, an di feel everything is going to change. A new year, hehe the year will change, but i just feel. Everything is going to change. If i'm wrong, then i am. If i'm not then i'm not. Sometimes, i think i'm a psychic. Isn't that a stupid thing?. Well the thing is, every night i dream with someone, the next day i see them. Like this week, i dreamt with a guy i haven't seen for years!. A guy who used to be in my class, i dreamed somethign very stupid, but the point is, i dreamt about him, and the next day there he was. And also this week, i dreamt with my little cousin and my aunt, and the next day, i wake up and i'm walkign in my house, and the first person i see is my aunt. Mayb eit's the lack of sleep i've been getting. Hehe, i don't know. But i just think it's weird. Maybe it's just coincidence, and if it doesn't happen again, i won't mention it. But if it does, hmm that'd be cool.