4/10/2005 when all goes black, insides left empty looked for the blood, no, there's none i''m emptied out, woke up a corpse, dead. indeed, it was shed by all, no, me... all me Where did it go? why today? no answer here this new void is new for sure, hungry something new to me, certainly news to you indeed, soul whining about pain, spirit of three within stay away then, remember I am dead This new nothing, it, it sure must be something no one to hear my last breath sucked through open wounds grotesque and beautiful, dropped down, gave it away indeed, my gracious friends, take this wind, take it away the animals we eat are dead, digesting doesn't hear the girl shes dumb, has no ears but with this fall, this nothing was something indeed my healing pain must be something, but cant find that fear? Empty tank, walking feet, still cutting mind to numb to check, instead hear look and take hold! fat red pump inside left unemployed dead yes, but bright is the life, radiant and eager lion, lamb or BULL? I died for the first time, dead to myself because I should know, you must know no one dead here to burry the dead but me, not at all, no more even with this pain and your........... pens soft dirt I try, burry me, somehow I let the shovel drop angry red heart jumping out and without found my soul a foot, heart calling out indeed, this won't stop here, THIS i can hear step one, angry heart glowing and glaring step two nothing to loose, never knew it lost this heart said no you ain't done yet son find me, take a note and step up I don't care you see so this heart takes step two and three I'm not here, but this heart about commanding calling me I hear, new, nothing I am, in bloom, something I have such lies are told from mouths of dark night fools I care, theres nothing left, just never known me yes friends, I died i'm sure, imagination, psyche from spirit but I was never me for it was never mine to be Heart pumping air, yelling from roof tops no mouth, just passion, cosmic manipulations bad blood runs from this eerie indignity indeed, indeed I am born in death just to witness this glory dried up heart in hand thats not calling names, screeming out no disgrace free..sorry i pray, now I lay giving all away.. foot prints show, i don't care how slow I care, heart flopping red taking back, cause nothing was something yes my Lord indeed, light through the dark new body showing feet this day I died, I found new, springs of refreshing pain throbbing soul listening, now more than clear I said fuck this body, stronger then, stronger now burried it as rotton, complete empty lamentation something new.is here its a purged heart, pretty sweet little heart searching for a body, bad blood.coming with how could I forget what I was, and know I was not nothing...not, not mine, call me a theif this heart will never die, My God eternal never cry, and you all surely now know why Thought it was over, my lips couldn't move dead, I gave up breath and breath gave in new body is growing, new obedience its showing who is in control? forsaken by all, in my all, born of none So God shows me a new thing lets play, let us play, dance tomorrow is today because now you know I don't care This heart churns mud, now having so much fun cut it open to slurp in the flood red rain falls around these days perfect and it is the new, bad blood, best taste yet fill me up to move, what a dream, its new flavor for me Take care! be well stay clear i'm the good spit out of hell.... I take answers now yes, its allready known but what choice do you have you surely want to stay friends Love is eternal and this for sure salvation is here to all who do not fear redemption you question speak of walls, what will keep when the glory WAS, IS and WILL BECOME ---------------------------------------------------------------

4/1/04 so whats it like? which side falls harder? 100s carry weight that I carry now. When its switches i hope instant karma don't get you. I love you, and you live on in me. The circle seems to have a break leaving a future train wreck. So someone tell me how to fix this? Or am I just breaking it now? Do you all know that I don't know. Dont see,cantfigure, cant accept blame anymore....so its over. Drop your pencils and kill me.... -----------------------------------------------------------------

4/1/05 sitting here watching waiting... sitting there silent driving... strapped in now dead... on course destny steady... -------------------------------------------