and as i look back on this will it be a continuous cycle i dont doubt much the mtbi but those fucking infps. mike, i liked a lot, and grew to hate because of severe flaws. jessica, my best friend until i hated her because of greater faults. alex, again is descending until i just hate him, because of his downfalls. why can't i accept these? they're different downfalls. i hated mike for his stupidity and selfishness. regressed memory, yet arrogance at his percieved ability. and let's not forget his emotions. ugh! i hate jessica for her arrogance and her selfishness, her unwillingness to see any of her faults. let's face it, she believed herself to be perfect. i am growing anger at alex, for his laziness and selfishness. he doesn't understand to the extent that i care about academic things. i care more about math team than many other things. mike and alex, i so feared that i was just a ride. i am more fragile than i want to be. i'm scared that i am nothing. i'm scared about my life having no meaning.

there is the possibility of friends becoming for the sole reason that i m horny and there is the miniscule chance of me fucking him soooo fucking horny and does this create sense of lonliness?? i have eros and it cannot be unleased there is no one for it to be with and thihus a sense of isolation from the world AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

andrew is so cute i'm also retarded i do like alex, friends, yes, no relationship, no, not that, something, someone there, some possibility, some meaning that gives impressions, something, no, yes, i miss him, talking, sharing stupid things. but they were meaningless can be replaced this will end soon anyway but do i want it to end this soon.