Word for the day: anxiety. I don't know why I'm so anxious, but it's preventing me from sleeping. This is not good because I have to work at 7am. So here I am hoping that the computer will tire me. I couldn't get a hold of him today. He never called me back. Another woman spent the night with him last night. Why do I even bother? Love makes you absolutely retarded. I need to keep telling myself I'm too good for this. Standards. That's what I need. Don't sell yourself short. Stop being selfless. You're worth more than he deserves. Orlando feels so lonely. I think I'll feel lonely no matter where I am. Stop this madness. Get your mind straight. Feel fine for once. Please. Lets end this on a good note. I bought a new car today. It's an '05 Honda Civic. This was most definately the high point of my month and will continue to be until I see Aloha with the Appleseed Cast April 22nd. Woohoo!

...I'll just keep telling myself that. The moon is so bright tonight. I want to move there. So what if there's no oxygen. The weather is always nice and it's cheaper than living in California. When can I catch the next rocket? I'm going out car shopping tomorrow. I need something new in my life. A car seems like a good way to satisfy that craving. It'll keep me happy for a good month, maybe two. Better than nothing right? I hope this isn't my mid-life crisis. Two people came in to get a room tonight. They were there for less than 2 hours and then checked out. Lets hope I never get to the point where I spend $129 bucks for a bad fuck. What a night. Note to Larry: Let me love you tomorrow night. It's all I ever ask. Could I ask a little more? Could I ask you to love me back?

I'm just going to accept things for how they are. I can't change things. I can only change my ways. That's all that needs to be done.

What am I doing here? I'm trying to figure myself out. I'm trying to figure them out. I'm trying to figure out why the earth is round. Will I ever know? Isn't that what makes life interesting. I'm no longer amused. Fin.

I feel like it's 1976. It's the feeling of driving down a desert highway in a Firebird with the top down. Everything is dusty and the man next to you has killer sideburns. All you need to do is drive for hours, rail coke, and make love like it's nobody's business. What a life. What a time. I haven't seen anyone for days. My family is in Michigan. My friends don't call and even if they did, I've been working so much I hardly have time to eat. The strange thing is, I feel content, all most to the point where I don't want to see anyone. Maybe a good week of alone time is just what the doctor ordered. Who knows. I never do.