dear diary, today i saw my crush and accidently farted and tripped on him. then i ripped a hole in my pants from the dookie blast. i cried and broke my ashlee simpson cd. accidently that is. im lip synching this conversation to my secretary who is typing this. damn you acid reflux!!!! i have a million dollars and live in a big mansion with a hundred bedrooms and 100 bathrooms. well i need to go to my grammar class so bye bye.