I am not sure just how personal I would like to get considering the fact that any person in the world could read this without my ever knowing. Although, I guess it doesn’t really matter, nobody knows who I am after all. Maybe even a few people will be able to relate to the things I say in these “journal entries”. Well, I am going through a tough time right now. Actually, it’s not really my tough time per say, but my best friend’s tough time that is affecting me. Ever since we became friends she smoked pot on and off. I’ve probably known her to smoke five times since we became good friends, and every time she did it she would come to me with “I have a confession to make…” and it would always be the same thing: I smoked pot. She started hanging out with three other people who all used to be my good friends, but together the hang around, smoke pot, drink etc. Well, we all had plans to go to prom together but since they planned on smoking pot, I did not want to be guilty by association so I made my own dinner plans for prom (which will be on Saturday May 22, 2004.) Well, I told her that I was worried about her and that I was scared that something was going to happen to her on prom night with this really bad group of kids. She told me that she understood and that she didn’t want to smoke pot and she needed my help. I was more than willing to lend her a hand. We’ve been friends for a long time and I don’t want to see her hurt, but the day after she told me this, she went and smoked pot again. We haven’t really talked since then, which was three weeks ago. She called me two nights ago in a response to an IM I left her, which was just a “hello”. But she didn’t have much to say. I did most of the talking and it was about how I am sorry that we haven’t talked in a couple of weeks but that I was really worried about her and that I wanted her to make good decisions. She hasn’t really had much to say to me since then, and I’ve even written her a letter. I told her that I wanted what was best for her, I wanted her to have a good time yet not make potentially life altering decisions and that I cared for her very much. However, I told her that if she chose to do drugs on prom night I would not be responsible for her. I would not be held accountable if something happened to her. I know that if something did in fact happen to her, I would feel extremely guilty, but at least this way, she has my advice and my best wishes, and my friendship, but not my liability. Ended like a Dear Abby letter – 18 worried in New York. :-) Next time I’ll have something more uplifting to talk about, but for right now, here’s the journal entry of where my mind is today. Live life, love life. A motto for all. Pax Romana.