its amazing. i still quiver when i hear your voice. hhahahaha. oh well. =))

yesterday, i got bored. so i checked out fox.com and subsequently that tv show. and i thot, "wow, such fucking resemblance!" maybe its true. that character is like you incarnate. you go!

oh my god! my second 'wedding/marrying' dream! ark! is this a sign, or something? hello? someone, anyone? help needed here. yooohooooo?

i was going to marry my dua pupu! ew! that was the craziest and the saddest dream ever. and i sat thinking, maybe i am really not over him. maybe, he is the one i really want. i dont know. i was all pretty in my dress. my veil. and i just thot whether it was something i really wanted to do. did i really want to marry away? i think it has got to do with my rushed want to just put him aside. sigh. ill always be in love with him.

i think i know what i want to be. i want to be a journalist/writer. i want to be able to write editorials. i want to be on the new york times. i want to know multiple languages. i want to be well to do. i want to be happy. i want to be in Yale. i want my Asian American dream. i love Singapore dont get me wrong. but i just want to be a little exotic. hahha.

it is interesting, yet sad is subtle way, when television helps you through your days. i am much better now, cos i have a distraction. but i wonder, if i hadnt came upon LH, would i still be the same morbid and sad person that i was? i wonder. but you know, now im thinking of my variables. the many choices i have. i choose to mourn and cry and think about you. get all emo up. get all jealous. get all hurt. but why would i need to waste my emotions and tears over you? if we are meant to be, then someday we will be together. but since, that someday isnt here yet. i dont know if we are meant to be. so in the mean time, ill go out enjoy. meet people, have fun. be merry. goddamit, i was so slow on catching on with this 'game'. you went out, met your people. had fun. when i was stuck here, considering everything about/with you. well, im making my move. becareful, cos one more, i might just win. cheers! =))

i dont know what im feeling anymore. everything is kinda scattered. but all has been pretty good on this front. im enjoying myself. oh and excuse, can you get a Logan Huntzberger? i need a guy JUST LIKE THAT. hah. hahhahahaa. bluek. my life cannn be pathetic.

so Donovan called me! yeay! and he had something rather... i dont know, interesting, should we call it, to tell me. he was well, urm, Gay. i dont know. somehow, im not even a quarter as shock as i should be i think. or he thinks. somehow, somewhere. i kinda urm, expected it? not that i thot he could be gay. but if he was, i guess i wont be shock. and well, i wasnt. im just glad he told me. and its nice to know that he thot, "i just tell Khai this!" its nice to know someone a little far away thinks of you in such honourable manner. i still love him like a good ol' friend. hes still Vino to me. i guess, life has its surprises for you. somewhere. slowly, but surely. i wish him well.