and make it honest make it hurt make me want to love you more than anything and please whisper it in my ear when everyone's around and walk away and i swear i swear i'll chase you down.

this shouldn't be comforting, but it is (especially at moments like this): nothing's definite. i'm feeling this need to run and hoping for me to be somewhere far next year in case none of this love business works out. it's strange that you chose me. because i know you were deciding between another girl and me. and i didn't want to know that or have to be decided upon. it's too much to live up to. and now that you've chosen me, it makes me wonder what did it for you. everyone's watching us and wondering why we act so goddamn silly all the time. i don't know either!