• So today i got a D on my trig test, not because i had no clue what i was doing, but cuz i didn't do the last question on the back of the page that was 5 points. 35 out of 40 would have been a little better.....not like she'd actually give me a change to do it, i wasn't there when she gave directions either oh well. I was so POed about it this morning cuz i can't afford to do bad on anything in that class as long as i'm not doing homework. But i guess i slept 3rd pd and i woke up after the movie and i was more socialable. Moises was like whats wrong you look so sad lol. But anyway so last night me and jonathan were talking and we got on the whole subject about us going out and stuff. And at first I was like how do you feel about me. And he went into this big thing about how much he loved me and i was all happy and stuff. So i was like well why don't you want to go out with me i don't understand that. He ended up saying that a long distance relationship would be hard because he couldn't have the physical part of it and stuff. But by the end of the night he said that on sunday he has to go to cheetoh's house, and as long as he can deal with that and keep his hands off of her, then he wants to go out with me. Otherwise he said he wouldn't because it would be his responsibility to be faithful to me and he wouldn't want to hurt me. I'm pretty much left with that for two days now. He said he'd try to call tonight because he's leaving and won't be back til sunday night, but i think he didn't have time cuz he had to get everything ready. That's ok tho cuz he's dedicated like every possible minute of his life to me lately. I'd be sick of me.....surprisingly he still likes me. Alberto was at school again today. I wonder what he's taking that i keep seeing him. Moises still says i'm a lesbian and i know he thinks it even tho he says it with sarcasm. And we were talking today in band, for whatever reason he was actually in a room with us, and he kept going back to me being a lesbian. Mayb he just does it to test my reaction i don't know. I'll ask him if he's online ever, he hasn't been for a bagillion years. He was grounded......no idea if he still is. He thinks i'm all messed up cuz i kept talking about cliche. How i don't want to be cliche. And i'd change myself so i'm not cliche. Which is true and i admit it. Thats not what i want to be.....like if everyone decided to go punk more than there are now, then i'd probably start wearing white. I'm not punk, i don't want to be punk, that's not the point, the point is i'd like to stay far away from the style stereotypes. I'd like to be who i am to make a statement. NOT This is who you are because this is what you look like you know. I can't say much today either, everything must sound so bland, most of the day was spent sulking over math grades, messed up friendships, and more petty teenage contraversy. I think i know what love is now. I think i finally get it. Love is when you go though everything bad in life and you hate every minute of your day but the minute you see that person it was all worth it. Every second of your day was worth it just to hear that one voice. That voice that means everything. Hey guess who just called!!!!!!!

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