I made it to 25 and it seems like such an even number you know?

  • this may be the end, soon.

    I’m in Hiroshima and I was in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka. I’ll be headed to Miyajima and Okinawa, then back to Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo. I’ll be flying home on April 4th. I don’t want to leave, because....  

    well, here is an excerpt from Pete Wentz’s old journal that sums it up because...

    “tokyo, japan 2

    i am put at ease somewhat by the inevitablity of strange and dark days. not light but the opposite, it is inevitable. this hotel room overlooks a city that i do not understand when usually i am overlooking cities that do not understand me. i dont have any "start over" left inside of me. i wish anyone would understand. all roads lead to longing. the neon signs never turn off here. there are oceans inside of me.”

    -Pete Wentz

    I’m here with my boyfriend but we’re falling apart to the point where I don’t think I believe in love anymore. I lost all my friends and I don’t get along with my parents. I can’t blame anybody but myself. In our last fight, he called me “fucking dense” and I’m breaking. We’re headed toward splitting up and I’ve been crying so much on this vacation I can’t afford. It‘s same story in a different continent. I can’t escape my self.

    I wish there was a word, a line, a way but I’m drowning in the madness. I’ve gone psychotic twice, I’ve been hospitalized so many times, and I’ve seen so many professionals and taken so many medications. There isn’t a cure. So I turned to God and I begged for a sign. I’ve written wishes in Buddhist shrines. There doesn’t seem to be an end to these times. I’ve made it a quarter of a century, and I think that’s about enough. I have the means, I have a plan, and I have nothing left to stay for. I can’t go back to the hospital and I don’t believe in love.

    so if you read this months later and I’ve left to a different dimension, well, I hope we meet in better circumstances. This isn’t a cry for help. I’m done crying and nothing helps. I’m not sorry and I won’t miss you, but thanks for the kindness you showed to a kid who never deserved or appreciated it. I never learned to forgive and never could forget.

    if this is goodbye, well, be good. bye.

Add your thoughts

3 Comments

Add your thoughts

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!