Eat, Drink, And Be Merry, For Tomorrow We Die
- July 27, 2016
- blueplates
- 2 Comments
2 Comments
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Now if there is no resurrection, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, why are people baptized for them? And as for us, why do we endanger ourselves every hour? I face death every day—yes, just as surely as I boast about you in Christ Jesus our Lord. If I fought wild beasts in Ephesus with no more than human hopes, what have I gained?
If the dead are not raised,
“Let us eat and drink,
for tomorrow we die.”
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning;
for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.
I Corinthians 15 [NIV]
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Sometimes losing control is the only way to find yourself
More lost
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I want to stop being afraid but I keep doing things with consequences that terrify me. I can't tell myself no, my hedonism has turned self destructive. My long walks are starting to seem like death marches, I worry I won't know when to quit, or worse, that I've already missed my second chance. I've really tried to pinpoint the exact moment I lost control but I can't because loss of control is not something that happens in one moment. It's like sand through an hourglass, a million little things that seem like no big deal at the time, it's taking that extra valium, it's skipping your last class, it's telling yourself you'll deal with it tomorrow when you know you won't, it's bringing adderall on vacation, it's letting them do whatever they want to you, it's a slow loss of the sense of danger that keeps you alive, it's the blurry line between self love and self hate, it's living every day like it might be your last because maybe you're hoping it will be.