• I don't know why I'm typing here. It's 1.30am and I can't sleep. Too many thoughts ticking away. The coffee I had before I started my shift is preventing me from sleeping, I'm sensitive to coffee after 5pm, but i just take it because I'm a zombie at work. I really don't want to be there. So many depressive thoughts, so much guilt I feel. Guilt that I feel that I am the shy girl, disgust or some sort of jealousy when I see someone getting along so well with other coworkers and is so well liked, but she is so stupid, I feel she talks to me as if I'm stupid. I don't know why I hate the girl, I think I accept this. I accept my hate for her, she hasn't done anything to me, I just hate her for being who she is. I just accept that now. It's not fair at all to her, I am being nice to her, maybe she senses that my feelings aren't true. but it feels nice to admit that. I'm sorry that you are a victim to my hatred, you have done nothing wrong, it's a feeling within me, I've seen it before. it's not a strong hate, I just don't like you at all, but you are so loved by everyone, maybe that's why I hate you.

  But who cares really, I don't care what people think of me, the ones who truly know me are the ones I truly care about. That is all that matters, the people within my bubble, they are all I love, they are all that matter. 

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