• So my best friend in the whole wide worlds Dad died on Friday. He was the father that I never had, and I honestly feel like I'm suffocating. 

  Half the time I feel nothing. I'm just, numb. And my heart. Is just, gone. I don't feel anything at all. And I feel like an alien surrounded people, who feel everything.

  And the other half the time I'm screaming in my head "No, no! He's not really gone!" and I keep telling myself that this is all some twisted nightmare, that he'll just walk through the door, making a stupid joke that we'll all laugh at. 

  And all you feel is the pain, and the empty ache, that can't be filled. And you want nothing more, than to have him back, but you know, you'll never get him back. And you feel like you're literally breaking. And the only person who can fix it, is the one thats gone. 

  And so you just shatter, and pieces of you are everywhere. And the other people who love you try to pick up each of the pieces for you, and they do a pretty good job, but some of the pieces, you'll never get back.

  Nothing hurts more, than to know that you can never be whole again, after your first heartbreak, and more of you will be gone, with each loss.

• I'm sorry. It's so hard to adjust to the fact that nothing can be done. And nothing I could say could really help. But I'm sorry.

  candyhippieon January 16, 2016   Link

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