• So close to the finish and all i feel is confliction. i want to go running for the hills and  i want to cling to you. how am i here? how did i get here? what decisions landed me in this place? why do you still hold my heart in your hand? i wonder if you even think about me? even in passing? even for the slighest second by accident? i've been doing great all on my own. i know how to take care of myself, by myself, for myself. i keep moving forward but theres always this tiny little snag and it annoys the hell out of me. how am i still caring about what you think of me, what youre doing without me? i can remember everything about you. the feel of your skin, what it feels like in your arms, the way you would say my name, say i love you. now im caught up in these stupid torrid affairs that are over before they even start. i miss our intamcy. i miss the mornings spent in bed and the showers and getting stoned and eating through the whole kitchen. but then i remind myself of the fighting. your priorities. our differences. they seemed so big but were they? i guess i'll never know. i just really wonder what youre doing all the time. whos hand youre holding. are we ever in the same town at the same time? remember when we could feel the others presence, or so we claimed. i miss the comfort, how we could be in the same house not even the same room or near each other or talking or anything and just feel completely whole. you ruined me. 

• I too miss our intamcy.
  But when you ate through my whole kitchen
  I realized I could no longer live with a termite.

  
  

  Still - I DO feel guilty for ruining you.

  NomadMonadon May 22, 2015   Link

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