• I'm catching up with some of the journals here and I'm reading about a lot of sadness and feeling sort of weird and guilty for the unreasonable giddiness I've had as of late. I know. it's completely uncharacteristic of me.

  coming back to the ocean was like a mouthful of saltwater taffy. I think that love must be saltwater taffy. pretty much everybody has had some. somebody offers it on a day when you have nothing to do, and most likely you'll take it and put it in your mouth.

  I found my way back to my aparment for winter term pretty late, around 2am on a tuesday. my housemate was asleep on the couch by our makeshift christmas tree. her face was bisected by the green and red neon and I felt an enormous surge of affection for her. a housemate that likes to sleep near the christmas tree in the first breathes of january. I'm going to try to make her life as easy as possible this term. I know what seasonal depression feels like, and january has the fiercest of bites.

  lexie is in one of my classes. I think I saw her first, and I was floored, again, by how unphased she is, by everything and everyone. some would call it a mask, but I suspect she's just very unhurried. she greets everyone in peace. I wonder who else knows what happened to her a few years back. when I finally caught her eye, they were blue and clear and she smiled very very slowly. I swear she is the coolest person in the room. every room.

  I thought about the way she looks when she eats spaghetti. I thought of the way she looked when she slid off her pants and she was wearing batgirl undies.

  this afternoon, I took a shortcut through the woods and saw james and june sitting on the roof of the science & engineering building. I didn't actually see them, but heard their voices laughing, and their silhouettes gilded by the sunlight. I'm floored by how happy I am to see my friends again and how much I missed trees.

  I've been thinking a lot about that mary oliver quote: tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

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