• Im watching a film of my own life, completely immersed in I can feel it running through me and forms into beautiful thoughts and words on a webpage, but now I can't feel it anymore. I can't express what is no longer there. 

  When I was deep into my depression I was truly felt my soul was raw and bare, and dark. I foraged through the underground crawl of the forest, walked across the moonlit path across a stone paved bridge and gazed at the fine rippling lines of the water, thinking how beautiful it would be to die. But now I am no longer thinking those things, I'm happy be born anew, but why do I miss it. why do i miss being sad and expressive. I cry when I hear beautiful songs of artists who have passed away, especially this song 

  Nujabes - Aruarian Dance

  Aww, i don't know what else to say. I seem to be attracted to people with depression, or people with depression will openly tell me that to me. I'm not very good at cheering people  up but I can be there to support and listen to them. I just feel sad when people I care about are sad. I was just thinking about my ex today, and how it seem like he didn't appreciate me but liked to keep me around. I was comparing my ex to my current interest. I feel unappreciated when they don't talk to me. I need to back off, but i have no one again, just one. the one im interested in, but he is seeing my flaws and may now want me anymore. I feel like crying when i actually confessed my feelings, and he said maybe were not meant to be, so im back to being alone. and setting my walls higher than before. I hate what love does.

  my gamer friend is gone, he deleted me off skype. im upset about that too.

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