• I feel like I'm trying not to kill myself. I'm so angry. I'm never angry. But lately every little thing has been pissing me off. Brian is drifting away from me. "What did you think it would be like?" I don't know. Not like this. I want to hook up with someone. Maybe just to prove i can. Independent. I feel....nothing. angry or nothing. Which is better?

  i want to go to jacksonville tomorrow. I need a ride. and friends. i'm so isolated here, but everyone else just takes so much energy. I miss Brian. I miss something i can;t get back. I don't feel fulfilled. I have no goals or prospects. yea sure there's little things I could do. Play the guitar, learn to spin poi. But it's not a life, or at least not a satisfying one. Not sure. Can't deal. I tried to get a job today. didn't work out. Even just fucking standing in forever 21 was stressful. I can't imagine working there. I can't imagine growing up.

  Mark said he could give me a ride to jacksonville tomorrow. This thing with mark...i don't know. I want this adventure. I'm not done yet, i need to keep moving. do it for the story. life experience is a precious thing. go black to the sludge pile. the funny thing is i actually have documentation from seven years ago. That's when i was journaling every day. I was probably having sex with john drago exactly around then. Is that what i should really write about?

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!