palpitations

'where are you?' calls when i’m 20 minutes out the sun is orange no red burning into my arm out the window and I just got done shaking in a mcdonalds bathroom splashing water trying to remember where I’m going and why and I tend to forget I’m young I have soft bones and milk skin but I think i know what your mother means when she says it’s been too long when she says time passes when she shakes her head and smiles to ward off the reaper. take your time you have tomorrow they all say but my heart beats too fast for me to sleep. it works harder than it needs to I think to make up for my lack of productivity reminding me that I’m here with soft bones and milk skin and a shiny new throb inside of me. I know some people get more done before I even wake up more than I get done in a day but at dawn I smell the firesmoke and remember I have places places places to go it’s all okay because I have time and even if I don’t if it runs out - it’s okay so I start being brave and stop staring at the ceiling until I’m seeing my future in the plaster and start telling people what they mean to me faster before I gracefully remove myself because it’s exhausting to be anything but a phone call whispering sweet words and memories of dusk in the dunes drinking tacate and building people out of sand until the tide comes in and pulls them back to sea

don’t worry about me

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